POV: Adrian
Things between Dimitri and me were a bit awkward after the whole feeding fiasco. We avoided each other as much as we could and our conversations were summed up to a minimum. We did however agree that I needed to establish a feeding schedule and, despite Sonya's arguments that I 'shouldn't go to the hellhole they call a blood den', decided that Dimitri would take me to town two times a week so I could fulfil my biological needs. I tried convincing him that I could go alone, but the guardian in him was completely against my exposure to any risky situations and he apparently considered anything that involved me taking a step outside the house gates risky.
After my unfortunate interruption of Karolina's big news yesterday, this late afternoon was spent in her sisters going all giggly and talking clothes, toys and names. Dimitri was as quiet as always, but there was a small smile on his lips as he carefully listened to them. Olena was doing something in the kitchen and Yeva surprisingly decided to join us, but she too was a quiet observer as she rocked in her chair.
I took a sit at the dining table next to Paul and Zoya. They were doodling stuff on a stack of papers sprawled over the table and, at a certain point, I found myself picking up a black crayon and absentmindedly drawing lines over the sheet in front of me. It wasn't until Karolina stood up to check on Zoya that I'd realized the lines took up a form without me even controlling my hand. I probably wouldn't have noticed it for a while if it wasn't for Karolina's gasp when she glanced at my drawing.
"My God, Adrian, that's beautiful", she exclaimed loud enough to stop Sonya's and Viktoria's bickering and to draw Dimitri's attention, "And they actually look familiar."
Her words made me stop and pay attention, made me face a pair of deep, dark eyes that found their way onto this piece of paper. I swallowed hard and opened my mouth in an attempt to say something, but I came up flat. My heart was beating out of my chest as Dimitri stood up and joined us. He froze when his eyes landed on a pair that haunted the both of us.
"Roza", he whispered, not being able to stop himself.
It was like the temperature in the room dropped several degrees in an instant. Everybody's face fell as he mentioned the name we'd all been avoiding. It was surprising how sad they all seemed to be thinking about Rose. Not sad like poor young girl or sad for the lose Dimitri and I felt. It was like they'd lost her too, though they barely knew her.
"Speaking of names, Natasha is a very popular name this year", Sonya prompted with fake casualness, but we all knew very well what she was trying to achieve.
She broke the silence in the most uncomfortable way possible, but I knew this was a perfect opportunity for her to ask for the truth.
"Sonya, don't", Karolina warned her just as Olena walked into the room with Katya in her arms.
"Why not?", Sonya challenged, standing up to take her daughter, "I think it's past time we talk about this. You can't tell me it hasn't been an itch you could't scratch ever since they'd arrived. I'm not judging, I just want the truth."
Admittedly, it was a valid reason and an unbeatable argument, so when all eyes fell on us I knew we couldn't run from it any longer than we'd already have. Finally, Viktoria was the one brave enough to put what they were all thinking into words: "Dimka, did you do it? Did you really kill her?"
POV: Dimitri
"What am I supposed to do? I can't bring her back", I whispered in defense, but I knew he was right about me needing to get a grip.
"No, you can't, but you can revenge her", he prompted, a strange glimmer flashing through his eyes.
"Revenge is not a solution", I argued, though I myself felt a spark like the one I was sure he was feeling.
"Yeah, but it's the only thing we have left."
I was quiet for a few seconds, thinking his words over. Finally, I stood up, threw a stack of bills on the bar enough to cover the drinks we had and then some before I snapped at Adrian: "Outside."
I took off, not waiting to see if he'd follow, but he did. As soon as the fresh air hit my face he caught up, walking next to me and somehow managing to match my pace to perfection.
"Was that just an idea or do you actually have a plan?", I asked, looking down the path ahead of us to see if there might be someone close enough to hear our conversation.
"Oh, I have a plan alright, but you are not going to like it", he responded, a mix of bitterness and smugness in his voice, "We get rid of the bitch that killed her before she Houdini's her way out of here."
"I'm listening."
"Tasha will remain in the Court cell for the time being since that little fiasco with Dashkov's prison break proved that the so called "top security" isn't so secure after all. Her trial was postponed since nobody really wants to get into it until a new ruler is elected. That gives us the perfect opportunity to get to her before anyone can even notice or think of it. We don't need to create a distraction like the last time we had to get to those cells, everyone is already distracted enough."
"How do we kill her?", I questioned as he plopped yet another cigarette into his mouth and lit it up.
"You don't waste any time, do you?", he chuckled, but his expression remained gloomy, "There is a lot of money left on the bank accounts I opened for R-."
His voice trailed off as he tried, but failed to say her name. After a moment he composed himself and added: "We can pay off the guys guarding Natasha's cell and have enough money left to get ourselves far away from this place before they even realize she is dead."
I had no intention of going anywhere, but I stayed quiet. The truth was, if I was going to do this that was going to be the last thing I do. I was tired. I just wanted it all to end.
When I didn't say anything Adrian continued, but his voice suddenly became different. It was cold, ominous and scary. It reminded me of a Strigoi. It reminded me of evil.
"As for the exact way... well, I think we should get creative when it comes to that. She doesn't deserve a bullet. It's too easy, too quick. No, she deserves to suffer. I want her to know that she is going to die, I want her to be scared, I want her to have time to think about the two lives she has taken without a right."
Two lives. Tatiana and Rose. Two people Adrian loved the most. One person that I loved the most. His voice, his rage, woke a fire in me. A hatred, the kind of fury I hadn't felt since I was turned back. The kind of animal thirst that I only had when my eyes were red and my soul black. I used to call this woman my friend and now I wanted to destroy her. I wanted to make her pay.
"I agree", I spat through greeted teeth.
"So it's settled then", Adrian suddenly exclaimed cheerfully, like we just agreed to go to a party not commit murder.
"I guess it is", I confirmed, knowing in my heart that this was wrong, but also how much I needed it.
I stayed silent for a few moments after Viktoria spoke. Here goes nothing, I thought as I got up and took a deep breath before answering: "No."
"Of course not! I told you he would never do such a thing", Karolina exclaimed to no one in particular.
"I would. I wanted too. We both did", I stressed while I glanced at Adrian, "We planned everything, but when push came to shove neither of us could finish the job. Despite everything she'd done and the hatred we had for her, it just didn't feel right."
"But who killed her then?", Sonya wondered as Adrian cleared his throat, obviously regaining his ability to speak after some initial shock.
"We don't know. We didn't stick around long enough to find out."
"I don't get it", Viktoria mumbled frowning at Adrian, "If you didn't kill her, then why the fuck did you run?"
"Language", Olena scolded her more out of habit than because she actually cared about curse words at a moment like this.
"Let me put it this way: It would have been rather impossible to convince everyone that the two people who had the strongest motive and no alibi were not actually her killers", Adrian elaborated, "And with our history, especially Dimitri's, no offense, I don't think they would bother investigating."
"Fair point", Sonya concluded, satisfied with the explanation she was given.
"So what will you do now?", Olena asked, turning towards me with concern written over her face.
"We don't know yet."
"We'll you are more than welcomed to stay here as long as you want... both of you."
"Thanks, Miss B", Adrian said smiling at my mother.
"Miss B? I like that", she chuckled, patting him on his shoulder.
I guess we fed the monster enough for now. Nobody asked any more questions after that and soon went back to their business. After a while Adrian wordlessly stood up and signalized me to follow him outside. Once we were far out of anyone's range he turned around giving me a serious look.
"You think they believed us?"
"Yes, I think they did."
"Good", he mumbled before the door of the house opened and Karolina stepped outside.
"There you are. Come on gentleman, we are going for a walk. I need to go pick up groceries and you two are going to carry the bags because I'm already carrying a little bit of an extra weight."
"Isn't it a bit early to talk about extra weight?", I teased her.
"Oh, I'm not talking about the baby. I'm talking about the fat I didn't get rid of since Zoya", she joked, hooking her arms around both Adrian's and mine.
All three of us laughed as we headed towards the gate, but after a few seconds I tuned out, letting Adrian lead the conversation that mostly consisted of teasing Karolina. I was too busy thinking about the bullet we'd just managed to dodge and wondering how many times would the boomerang of guilt come flying back at us until it finally managed to hit.
POV: Adrian
With our hands full Dimitri and I walked with Karolina between us. He'd been quiet ever since we left the house, so I did my very best to keep her entertained. We switched between various topics until I noticed that she was absently rubbing her belly. It must have been a habit from her past pregnancies, but it got me thinking about her current one.
"I'm sorry we kept interrupting the baby talk with dramatic moments."
"It's okay", Karolina chuckled, kicking a few tiny stones under her feet, "More important things first."
"Well, a baby on the way is of outmost importance", I exclaimed, earning a smile from her, "You must be excited."
"I am. My boyfriend is really excited about it too."
"Your boyfriend is a Moroi", I concluded more than questioned.
"No. He is a Dhampir."
"Oh, well, it's very nice of him to be ah so, so-", I mumbled, trying to find words that wouldn't insult her.
"The baby is his", she cut in calmly which made me glance at Dimitri to check if maybe I'd heard her wrong, but he too was staring at her dumbstruck.
"Wait, what? Rewind", I almost shouted, trying to keep my mind from exploding.
She chuckled uncomfortably, staring of into the distance for a few moments. Finally she peeked at me and exhaled in frustration: "It's a bit complicated, but he, well he had the same thing happen to him like Dimitri. Only after Dimitri was saved Rose called Oksana, she is a spirit user that lives around here, and told her that restoration is possible. So when Caleb, well long story short, he was a Dhampir again and after a little while I found out I was pregnant and, don't get me wrong, it was confusing as hell, but Oksana said she thinks it might have to do something with the Spirit. It wouldn't be the first miracle caused by it."
"So what you are basically saying is that Spirit made him fertile?", I asked in shock. It seemed impossible, but then again so did bringing people back from the dead or restoring their souls. Perhaps it really was just one more of Spirit's mysteries.
"I guess. I mean, as weird as it sounds, it's the only reasonable explanation. I haven't been with anyone else, so unless I'm mother Mary-."
"Ha", was all I could say.
"Ha?", Dimitri exclaimed, clearly not satisfied by my reaction, "That's it? No more comments on something so monumental."
"I don't know what else to say Captain. It's not like there is a guidebook on Spirit. Anything is possible. All there is left for me to say is that I definitely want to meet that Oksana chick."
"Can she be thrusted?", Dimitri asked, the panicked guardian in him awakening.
"You've known Oksana since you were a kid Dimka. Not everyone is against you and after you", Karolina cried out, rolling her eyes at him.
"God, I wish I could tell Lissa this", I muttered to myself, but Dimitri paid attention all too well.
"You know you can't", he underlined, but I could see his face softening up.
"Yeah, I know. But this is huge. Sorry", I added looking at Karolina, "I know that to you it's just your child and I don't want to make it sound like I want to run experiments on you but-."
"But you want to run experiments on me", she finished my sentence with a soft laugh, "It's ok. I have to admit, I myself am curious about it. It's kind of cool to think that my baby is a miracle."
"It is", I confirmed smiling.
We've reached the house and stood in the garden when Karolina finally added: "I'll see if I can arrange for you to meat Oksana then and you can run 'experiments' on me together. She's been asking for the same thing anyway. And it's fine as long as you don't hurt the baby."
"Of course."
"I'll go give her a call", she said, walking back into the house and leaving Dimitri and me behind.
We stood there a bit dazed, our hands still occupied by bags of groceries. That was when realization finally hit me and I looked at Dimitri wide-eyed, blurting out: "Hold up. That means you could... you could have kids."
It seemed like he didn't really think the whole thing through either since his expression became comical once he processed my words. He breathed out something in Russian looking at me like he'd seen a ghost. After a brief moment, he sobered up from his emotions and took up the stoic look again.
"We'll that doesn't really matter, since I won't be having any even if I live long enough to get a chance."
"Why not?", I challenged him, though I already knew the answer.
"Because I'll never love a woman again, not after-", he cut himself off before hastily turning around and walking away.
He didn't need to say anything else. I knew perfectly well how he felt. He was done with love. So was I. That was how much we loved her.
