Hey guys! I decided to upload today even though I wanted to wait until at least tomorrow but oh well!
enjoy...
Chapter 11: The Freedom of Falling
He ran. For all he was worth and more he ran. The mighty Leonardo leader of the Hamato clan and slayer of the Shredder ran as hard as he could. He ran through the familiar sewer tunnels just as he had run through the jungles of Central America.
Tears streamed down his face but he paid them no mind. They were tears of sorrow and tears of anger.
He wasn't used to this, this wrath that had blinded him into screaming at his father. He was supposed to be the most level headed one of his brothers. He was their leader, their older brother. He was… he was...
He was nothing...
He was panicking and Leo knew what happened when he panicked.
His chest started to tingle as it tightened. He head felt light and his mind became foggy.
No! Not now. Not now. Not now! Come on body don't have a fit now!
He sprinted as hard as he could trying to put as much distance between him and his family as possible before the seizure racked his body. He had never run so fast or with so must desperation in his entire life.
How ironic, I fight for a year trying to stay alive so I can come back home to my family and now I'm home and I'm running away.
His mind replayed his own words over and over again in his head; you stopped being my Sensei when you sent me away to rot in the jungle…
Leo felt guilt grip his stomach but kept running. He ran harder trying to leave behind his guilt and the shame he felt for making his brothers hate him and screaming at his father.
Through his mad dash he heard the tell tale signs of his brothers running after him. He heard their feet pad the ground: twelve toes hitting the sewer water, six feet running, three brothers sprinting, three brothers that hate him.
He could hear them yelling, "Leo wait!" That was Don.
"Bro! Please slow down!" Mikey.
"Dammit Fearless! STOP!" Raphs deep cry.
Leo poured on the speed grateful that be had always been faster than his brothers. His legs burned and his chest ached as he put one foot in front of the other trying to get away.
He was dizzy. His breath came is gasps that choked his swollen throat. He still wasn't healed all the way.
How can I still be so damn weak!?
His hands shook but he balled them into fists in an effort to still them.
Do not seize. Do not seize he screamed inside his head commanding his body.
He slipped and slid from the muck in the sewers.
I need to get topside… I need to get away from my brothers. I don't deserve them. I'm a failure. I… I cant…His mind was in turmoil as broken thoughts raced around his head. He didn't quite know why he was angry or why he was freaking out. He didn't understand the rage deep inside his body they toyed with his emotions and drove him crazy.
What's wrong with me?
Leo rounded a corner then eyed a ladder. He dashed towards it jumping to the third ring and climbing without stopping. With great effort he threw the man hole cover away and catapulted himself into the dark ally.
The night was light, a full moon blanketing the sky. Even through the moons light he found the shadows as he always did. In his haste he didn't even bother replacing the cover to the man hole.
Quickly he sprang to the nearest fire escape and trudged up it. Leo could hear his brother's calls for him to stop, begging him to hold on a second.
Leave me alone. You hate me. Why are you chasing me? Please just let me suffer. I deserve this...
He couldn't think. He didn't want to. He needed to get away.
His vision blurred. The tightness in his chest began to feel uncomfortable. A spasm threatened to rack his body. He needed to calm down or else it would be a particularly bad fit. He knew from experience but, he didn't care. He didn't care about much at the moment.
Leo could hear the wind whistling past his ears and nipping at his mask takes as he ran over the roofs of New York City.
He tried to calm down but couldn't. He tried to make his mind go blank like he did when he ran through the jungle but he couldn't.
The jungle... Leonardo thought as he jumped over a wide gab between buildings. In his mind he saw the canopy leaves and bright sun. The telephone wires turned to vines and chimneys to trees. The moon cast shadows onto the roofs that made him remember the blazing sun. Leo shook his head and ran harder wanting to forget that damn jungle and the guilt and sorrow that came with it.
When he was in the jungle- after his escape from the hands of Patrick Hanson- it took six months until April finally found him and convinced him to come home. In that six months Leo had been trying to bring himself back together. Collect himself, build his body and mind back up enough to go home to face his brothers and sensei. After being in prison for a year his mind felt... broken. It wasn't just his body that was hurt. He didn't just suffer from physical pain. His mind felt hollow and when he had left that prison he felt like he was slowly melting into insanity.
He wasn't strong enough, something was missing...
Blood, he saw it again. So much blood it painted his hands crimson. It wasn't his blood but theirs... the girls he spend a year in hell with. Dead, both dead. Killed because of him.
He was a failure, worthless.
He lengthened his strides before leaping onto another rooftop and sliding to a halt at the edge of the building. The next structure was too far away for his weak and trembling body to jump. His mad dash had ended but, he still wanted to get away. He still had to get away.
Leonardo gazed down at the alleyway below. It was dark but the moon cast a beam of light down to it showing black pavement and a large dirty dumpster.
For the first time in his life Leonardo imagined what it would be like to jump not intending to reach another building. How the wind would nip at his face, his bandana tales flickering in the falling air.
He would finally have the freedom he wanted, the freedom of falling. The freedom of letting go and forgetting. The freedom of ending it all.
He would never actually jump. No, suicide was for the weak. It was the coward's way of ending. Suicide held no honor unless it was done by Seppuku. Leonardo felt inside his belt realizing he didn't have his tanto knife, as he usually did.
I'm not actually thinking this… am I? The leaders mind spun as a million thoughts entered into it. His head hurt from all the thoughts swimming inside his brain. Could I really do it? Would it really end all my pain? Would everything just… stop?
Leo brought his hands up to clutch his pounding head. Tears caused his vision to go blurry. He was so confused.
Get a hold of yourself Leonardo! He said aloud but barley over a whisper.
The leader gazed wantingly down at the ally but began to step away from the edge.
No, this isn't the way to make this all end. This isn't the answer.
As he stepped back his body started to twitch and pain washed over him.
Leo took another step away from the edge when he saw a flash of red. What felt like a semi crashed into him stealing his breath and throwing him a crossed the roof. He and the green and red blob slid to a painful stop ten feet away from the edge of the building.
The green mass screamed in his face.
He couldn't hear him. He could hear anything.
His body started to convulse.
Thoughts? Like it? Hate it? Oh God, poor Leo...
On another note are you doing anything right now? No? Well I think you should mosey on over to the other story I wrote (um, I think it's called a drabble maybe- its less than 1000 words-?) Anyways, I wrote it in about an hour so it's kind of hastily written but all the same I'm proud of it :)
oh boy, do I love reviews *wink* *wink* haha
Have a good day fellow readers!
