Chapter 11

"Is it possible to succeed without any act of betrayal?" - Jean Renoir

Paige met Carson at the door as he was exiting and she was entering the apartment. He looked up at her, finger on the bridge of his glasses, and nodded quietly. It was the usual way he said hello and goodbye and everything in between.

As Paige walked in and dropped her bag by the door, Julie called to her from her place on the couch, "Did you get the girl's name this time?"

"Emily, actually."

Julie shot up from her sitting position and stomped over to Paige, shoving her backwards until her back connected with the closed door. "Paige, you piece of shit! You know-"

Paige grabbed Julie's arms before she could accost her further. "It wasn't like that."

"You smell like a goddamn forest fire."

"We played pool and then went to a bonfire party. I dropped her off at her apartment. I didn't see the inside of it. End of story."

"I swear, McCullers, if you mess this up, I'll rip your head off and shove it up your ass." Julie pulled away from Paige's grip, and walked back to plop on the couch.

"I won't." Paige couldn't help adding a dig of her own, "How was not having sex with Carson tonight?"

"Fuck off."

She walked to the cabinet to grab a bottle of Johnnie Walker to take to bed, regretting ridiculing Julie for keeping her feelings to herself. Julie did it because she feared a rift they couldn't mend. The band had already weathered an enormous one. It wouldn't be able to survive through a second.


"They're fucking, Julie! I caught them! Carrie and Craig have been having an affair in my apartment!"

Paige was sitting on Julie's couch after knocking on the door hours earlier, a wild and bewildered expression on her face. Now she was waffling between numbly relating the details of her night and hysterically beating on the couch pillows.

Julie was at a loss. She didn't have any words of comfort. There wasn't a way to stitch it up, kiss the boo-boo, wash the hurt away. "I'm so sorry, Paige. You know I had no idea what was happening, or I would have told you. Carson can't have known either. He'd never keep something that fucked up to himself."

"I quit college for her, for our band. My dad won't even- And now it's all for nothing." Paige was numb again, blinking rapidly as the enormity of her heartbreak kept hitting her in waves, battering her with its anguish.

Julie put a gentle hand on Paige's knee. "No, it's not for nothing. We still have our band. You still have me and Carson."

Paige looked at Julie as if unable to comprehend words. "I can't stay in the band now. Are you crazy?! I'll never forgive Craig!"

"So beat the shit out of him until he can't use his dick anymore, and move on. You aren't the only one who gave up everything. You aren't the only one completely invested in this band, McCullers." Julie's harsh words were also tinged with a carefully controlled panic, and Paige heard it.

Paige blinked at a sudden realization. Julie needed this band. Needed to be close to Carson. Needed the band to be successful. Jesus, she thought as she put her head down, her chin hitting her chest. I have to make it work. She would stay for Julie. She would keep the band together. She'd endure the pain. But Paige knew as she looked back up at her best friend that it would cost her dearly.


Paige scowled at the number of guards in the growing audience. "We don't need that many."

"You don't get to tell me how to do my job. I seem to recall you saying that to me not too long ago." Emily was standing in her usual crossed arms pose, her white dress pristine and glowing in the relative darkness of backstage. It was in stark contrast to her darker skin tone, and it brought out the sharp white of her teeth as she spoke. She saw Paige's frown soften, a sign she had finally, grudgingly, admitted Emily had a point. "You seem nervous tonight." Emily perceptively commented when she saw Paige rock from side to side and clench her hands rhythmically.

Paige was nervous. She could feel the sweat bead on her back as she mentally pictured how large the crowd was going to be. The Fillmore was a huge leap in notoriety. It was famous, and famous acts played there. Serendipity was starting to be famous. She felt herself cracking under the weight, and she started to pace in a tight circle, the worry making itself known in the creases in her brow, the flex of her muscles, and the stiffness of her gait.

Emily reached out to Paige to try to still her, her hand softly surrounding Paige's forearm. "Hey," she said, giving Paige a dimpled grin, "I've watched you on YouTube. You're a superhero once the lights turn on."

Paige couldn't help but add suggestively, "I'm a superhero with the lights off, too."

"Ha." Emily let go of her arm and rolled her eyes. "Just trust your instincts. They're good. You're good."

Paige looked up to protest, but then she caught the confident look on Emily's face, and something settled down in her as if Emily had walked inside, found all the cracks, and patched them up with her coal eyes and easy smile.


Paige walked off the stage on a high. Sweat streamed down the sides of her face, running down her neck and her chest until it was caught by the hem of her tank top. It ran in rivers down her arms until it dripped off her fingertips. It soaked her hair and her jeans. The show had been phenomenal; she knew it, the band knew it, and as she looked at Emily's mega watt smile, she knew her manager knew it, too.

She couldn't help it. She turned around and grabbed Julie and Carson and Craig into a wet and steamy hug. "We did it!" Paige yelled before letting them go. They collectively laughed and clapped each other's backs in congratulations and elation. "We're celebrating tonight!"

"Fuck yeah we are! To the club!" Julie wiped her forehead and then added, "After we take a shower. Eww. You guys stink like a whorehouse in summer."

Paige turned to Emily. "You're coming with us."

"Paige, I-"

She shook her head, sweat droplets flying off her face and the ends of her hair. "It wasn't a request."


They were in a club in Union Square, red neon lights giving the bar a devilish glow. Go-go dancers swarmed the dance floor and milled around the table they had been given after Emily mentioned the band's name.

Paige was leaning back in a chair, admiring the girl who was caressing her and serving her shots. Carson and Julie had their heads bent together in a discussion that no one else could hear in the loud club.

Craig waved off another dancer and leaned in to talk to Emily. "I hate places like this. Carrie and I are homebodies, especially now. I'd rather sit and watch a movie than drink and dance. If you want to head back, I'll happily come with you. Julie can keep an eye on Paige."

Emily smiled at him. He was genuinely kind, and she was exhausted. Maybe she could leave a little early-

"Ladies and gentlemen! Serendipity is in the house! Let's show them how we rock!" The DJ announced their presence over the microphone, pointing towards their table in the back of the bar, and the whole club seemed to turn in unison toward them.

Emily silently cursed the DJ as she saw drunk fans and curious bystanders begin to head their way. "We need to get out of here. Now." She stood up and grabbed at Craig and Carson, the closest people she could reach. "Get up!"

They looked at her, not understanding, but when Craig saw what she was seeing, he uttered an "oh shit" before pulling Julie and a startled Paige to their feet.

It was too late. The crush of people made it to the table before security did, and Paige was quickly engulfed in admirers begging for her to sign a shoe, a bra, a forehead. She looked at Emily over their heads, dazed and disoriented by the sudden mob. Emily quickly grabbed a nearby security guard who was trying to shove people away and yelled at him to help them get out. Then she was pushing until she was next to Paige, placing the singer behind the security guard, and then prodding him to move.

Almost to the door, Paige felt someone yank her shirt, holding onto it with what seemed like a vice grip. Fuck this, she thought, before ducking and slipping out if it. And then the door to the street opened and the band and the surrounding security burst out before closing the doors behind them, successfully escaping the mob, at least for the moment.

Paige turned around to look back, her gaze unexpectedly crashing into Emily's own. Emily, whose arms were wrapped around her. Emily, whose body was suddenly pressed tightly to her own. Emily, whose scent was intoxicating in its nearness. Emily, who had shepherded her to safety. "Emily."

She could intensely feel everywhere that Paige's naked flesh touched her, and she instinctively pulled Paige closer, unable to tell if she was doing it protectively or selfishly. The look in Paige's eyes, it was the same bewildered and grateful look she had the night in the alley, and it was hypnotic. "Are you okay?" The words were barely a breath, and they mingled with her own name in the tiny space between them.

"Holy insane, Batman!" Julie's exclamation broke through their combined stupor and they stepped apart.

Craig quickly pulled off his shirt and handed it to Paige. "Put this on. I'll go get my car," he called as he darted off.

Paige tugged the oversize garment over her head as they all stood by the curb while the security guards still surrounding them talked amongst themselves and into their radios.

Emily hugged herself and shifted uneasily from foot to foot, worried that the fans would round the corner before they could get away. Dammit! Where was Craig? When a cab passed by, she made a split decision and hailed it. As it slowed to a stop next to them, she opened the door and pushed Paige towards the seat, saying apologetically, "I've got to get you out of here now." She then turned to Julie and Carson. "Stay here and wait for Craig. We're taking this cab home."


In the cab, Paige was still a little dazed as Emily pulled her phone from her purse and began dialing a number. "Spencer? We just got mobbed by fans at a club in San Francisco… Yes, we're fine. I have Paige in a cab now, and we're on our way home…" Emily frowned into her phone while she listened, and then said, "I'll let you know later. We need to call that label back. I think it's time."

Paige looked over from her slumped position in the corner between the seat and the door, her arm stretched wide along the back of the cab's bench. "Was that someone from your agency?"

"Yes. Spencer Hastings is our lawyer, and also kind of our business guru."

"Seems like a lot of hats for just one person."

"You haven't met Spencer."

"Is she a good friend of yours?"

Emily turned to her and squinted, "You're full of questions tonight."

Paige shrugged. "It's a long ride back. Plus, you know a lot more about me than I know about you. I was just curious what your business partners are like."

Emily nodded, and smiled a little as she thought of her friends. "Spencer is a terrific friend- very, very loyal. She fights hard for what she believes in. And she's the smartest person I know. But, we're so different. She's really blunt and sarcastic, but I really respect and admire her for the person she is."

"And the others?"

"Hanna is- well, Hanna. A little ditzy, but she's the most welcoming and accepting of anyone I've ever known. I can depend on her like no one else. And Aria is so creative and just so independent. I wish I could be more like her sometimes."

"Sounds like they're really good friends."

"The best."

"Yeah, I get that. I guess I miss being able to count on Craig. We used to be really close until he- It was a fucked up situation. I used to live with Carrie, and he used to live with Julie, so when all this went down, we just sort of swapped places," Paige laughed self deprecatingly, "in more ways than one."

Emily put her hand on Paige's thigh and squeezed comfortingly, feeling the muscle flex a little under her fingers, and she made eye contact with Paige. Then Paige dropped her head back against the cab's window and laughed at the absurdity of her circumstances before looking back at Emily.

"And then there's Julie and Carson. She loves him so much, and I think he likes her a lot- Sometimes I think he loves her. But most of the time I just think he's so socially awkward that he can't see the signs..." Paige drifted off, caught suddenly by the empathetic look in Emily's eye. She probably thinks I'm a dumb shit. I certainly think I'm a dumb shit. "So anyway, tell me about something else. Where did you grow up?"

They spent the rest of the ride back talking about Emily's life in Rosewood, bouncing from subject to subject, Paige prodding her to talk about what it was like growing up with a dad in the military, her time in college at Hollis as a communications major, what the winters were like back home, how bad she was at math, how her favorite holiday was Christmas and her least favorite was Halloween. Paige seemed genuinely interested, and Emily found it so easy to talk to her when she was relaxed like this, just as she had been at the bonfire down at the bay. Emily bit her lip and grinned, feeling the warmth of friendship begin to grow in the cramped yellow cab as it sped back to the valley.