Snips, Snails, And Puppy Dog's Tails
A/N: This is a quick satire to chapter 10: The Ones At Fault and was Crystal Persian's suggestion. The original prompt was that Peabody looses Sherman at the mall but then we came up with this inside joke that Peabody would try to write a strong letter. Keyword is try.
I will be returning to this prompt in a future chapter to write a part two of the idea in which Peabody finally writes that strong letter of his but with a much more... Colorful language.
Chapter Summary: Peabody writes a letter to the manufacturers of the 'Baby Leash' (Real think you know, you can look it up) after an event that no parent would want to go through accrues.
P.S: I know its a little short but I was writing this in whatever time I had left in French class to get it out so that you would have something else to read if any of you got sad.
Chapter 11: Satire: The Fault of One
Satire: Peabody's letter.
To Whom Ever It May Concern,
'I would like to report a fault with one a device that your company has manufactured which has been dubbed 'The baby-leash' for the time being. I'd like to report that shortly after purchasing said item and receiving the guarantee that it was indestructible, did it break, and at the worst of times as well. Enclosed in this letter is a briefly written summary of the events that went about before and after the device broke. Also enclosed in this letter would be the piece of the leash that broke. I hope that you will find a way to prevent further incidents from accruing with this product, or I will be sending yet another letter, and I will not be as forgiving should this happen again. My son and I are still a tad shaken from what has happened.'
Brief Summary:
Our story begins at the local mall on the corner of 45th street, right next to that new restaurant 'Stake and Bake'. Anyhow, my son and I were running a few errands when we first discovered the product of the baby-leash, which I soon learned was much like a dog leash but for a small toddler so that they do not get separated from their parents. I was a tad applaud of the product at first but bought it anyway (my son is quite the energetic one at two years old so I thought that it was a good idea). Anyhow, we bought the device and it seemed to work flawlessly, that was until we entered another baby store for new sippy cups when the small chain that connects the holder to the leash-bit broke off and Sherman toddled out of the store. Imagine my surprise when I found my two year old son missing. The events then went as followed.
"Sherman!" I exclaimed, feeling an unfamiliar panic rising into my chest.
I had never been through something like this before. Usually when I had my eye on Sherman he was always such a well behaved little boy who would never run off unless something really had his attention or if he was kidnapped. As a parent of course, my mind instantly went to the latter and my panic began to worsen.
"Um, sir? Are you alright?" A check-out assistant asked as I looked up quickly.
Of course, while I would have like to explain to him that I was currently a nervous mess because my two year old son (who I went through quite a struggle to get) had gotten away from me because of a poorly crafted baby-leash, but I didn't have time to because Sherman was still at large.
"Physically yes, but emotionally I am not." I managed, my voice raised a few octaves higher than it should have been before I quickly dropped what I was holding and dashed out of the store.
Upon exiting, I immediately began to search the surrounding area for any signs of my ginger boy, but unfortunately I found no trace of him. That's when my real panic began to sit in. My only pup was lost in a crowd of people and was probably scared to death by now! Worse of all was that if the courts heard that I lost Sherman than I would never be able to live it down!
"Focus, Peabody! Hes a two year old boy!" I tried to reason with myself as I dashed between groups of people and frantically called out Sherman's name. "How far could he have possibly gotten?"
Apparently wherever he was had been very far, because I searched that mall all over and still found no sign of him. I was about to suffer a panic attack (or so I felt) when someone suddenly tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and saw a mall cop, and in his arms was my pup, who looked unharmed and yet was as pale as paper.
"Is this boy yours? Hes been asking where Peabody was ever since I found him." The mall cop said, carefully placing Sherman into my open arms.
"He is. Thank you so much for finding him." I said gratefully, hugging the boy close.
"Peabody!" Sherman whimpered, clinging to me tightly.
"You have a very smart boy you know." The officer said, taking out a lollipop and handing it to Sherman. "He walked right up to me and asked for help. Most kids his age would just sit down and cry."
"I've raised him well then." I said, kissing the boy's forehead and watching as he opened the lollipop and began to suck on the treat.
Normally I would have him wait until after dinner to eat it but today I let him have it as a reward. The mall cop tipped his hat at us and bid us farewell as he turned sharply on his heels and left us. I promptly returned to the store with Sherman still in my arms and bought both the sippy cups and a baby blanket. The blanket was then fashioned into a baby sling which I then used for Sherman, who promptly fell asleep upon being put into it. We then returned home and I began to write my letter, only stopping once when Sherman woke up from a bad dream. I haven't the slightest idea who Penny is or what she had to do with the Time Space Continuum, but after Sherman settled down, I taught him how to conclude a letter properly.
I had a high deal of pride, but even my pride did not stop me from carrying my son around tied to my chest all day. After returning home, I began to write the letter than you have probably already read by now. If not then please kindly take a look at that since it continues on with my complaint. Again I hope that the necessary steps will be taken to prevent any further incident and other harsh letters from any other parent.
Sighed,
-Mr. Peabody and Sherman
