Chapter 11
One Step Forward, Three Steps Back
Kagome laid on the couch, a hand resting on her stomach, the other dangled onto the floor. Her mind was in turmoil and it didn't show any signs of letting up. As of right now, it all revolved around Sesshomaru and their still growing child.
Her next appointment was tomorrow and she had no idea what to do.
It had been about a week since she came to live with Satori, and the woman was helping Kagome more than she ever that she would. When Kagome needed space she got it. When she needed a shoulder to cry on, she got it.
She had to admit it was nice not having someone to pressure her into seeing Sesshomaru, or even speaking of him.
Satori never asked Kagome how she was feeling, or what she was thinking. She never gave her opinion on the matter, or made Kagome do things before she was ready. She simply made sure that the distraught woman knew she was there if ever needed.
Kagome would eventually take her up on the offer, but right now she still wasn't ready to even begin thinking on what happened. It still was too raw, too painful to even think about. So she didn't. She just pretended that it never even happened.
Now though, now she was going to be forced into it, by her own husband.
True, he never demanded his request of her, it was in fact, a request. But Kagome could tell he was desperate. The question was…why.
A few days ago, Sesshomaru had called and left a message, telling her that he still wanted to be a part of the growth of their child. If she allowed it, he wished to join her for her appointments, to see the baby curled under her heart.
The last time she saw him, he had said that he still loved her and their baby, but she had her doubts. After all, if he loved her, he would have never went back to Kagura. It didn't matter that it was ten years ago, it still happened.
Not to mention, if he cheated once, he may have cheated again. She really had no way of knowing. Shaking her head, she turned her thoughts off of his betrayal and back to his request.
In truth, there were two reasons as to why she felt he would be interested in going, and she couldn't decide which one it was. Either one would work, however, one was much better than the other and she couldn't help but to hope that it was that one.
She hoped that he legitimately still wanted their child, separated or not. That was the best solution, one she desperately wanted. Right now she didn't know what she was going to do with their relationship, but she wanted to keep her child, and she wanted that baby to have a father.
The other option was he may want to get rid of their unborn baby, and she wouldn't be able to handle that… for two reasons. She would never be able to do that, to either kill their child or give it away, and if he wanted that… she would never be able to look at him the same.
Tears threatened to fall as she remembered Malik sitting on the couch that used to be theirs. The boy had glared at her as if she interrupting something and she was made to feel uncomfortable in her own home.
She hadn't even been gone a full two days and already Sesshomaru was taking in his son, getting to know him. She couldn't blame him, he was his child after all, but what did that say for the one she carried. What were the chances of Sesshomaru accepting both?
"Kagome?" Satori called, pulling Kagome from her thoughts, and the woman sat up, looking at her mother in law.
Satori clutched the phone in her hand, hating to do this, but it was something that needed to be done. She knew where Kagome's mind had gone, and it needed to be set in the right direction. Her daughter in laws faith with her son had completely shattered, and because of that, she wasn't thinking irrationally.
"Kagome dear, Sesshomaru… he wishes to go with you tomorrow." Satori informed, watching as Kagome tensed up.
"Why?" Kagome asked, not looking up from her fidgeting hands.
"What do you mean why? He wishes to see you and make sure his child is healthy." Satori replied, her tone scolding. It was time to start pushing the young woman in the right direction.
"He has Malik…"
"Yes, he does. However, if you think for one moment that would mean he wants nothing to do with the life he helped to create, you are wrong. Yes, my son is a fool and made a mistake, but he would never throw you or your child away, and you know this." Satori reprimanded, her body tense. She hated doing this, being firm, but it was needed.
Her voice softened considerably and she walked the rest of the way to sit next to the woman who was now fighting tears. "Kagome, I am not asking you to take him back. Ultimately that will be your decision to make, and one that will take time. However, he is asking to be a part of that baby's life, to give the support that a father does. Do you really want to deny him because of mistakes he made ten years ago?"
Without saying another word, Satori handed the phone to Kagome, leaving the decision to her. Kagome hesitated, but eventually took the phone in a tight grip. Slowly the woman placed the phone to her ear, before swallowing.
"H-Hello." She whispered, hating how her voice sounded so weak and raspy.
It was quiet for a second, as Sesshomaru was caught off guard, but finally he spoke. "Kagome. Will you allow me to escort you tomorrow? I wish to see how our child fares."
"J-just you?" She asked. Right now she didn't think she could even see Malik or Kagura at the moment.
"Yes, Kagome. It will just be me." He replied. Why did his own voice sound so tight just then?
"You won't bring…it…up?" Again something she didn't think she could handle right now.
"No. I will not bring up what occurred until you come to me. Only then will we discuss it. I am giving you the time you need, and I will not push you. I simply wish to be a part of our child's life. I ask for nothing more than you are willing to give." He promised, and Kagome could feel herself relaxing slightly, if only a little.
"I-I don't have a car…Satori will be busy." She whispered. Her hand tightened on the phone, knowing what he was going to say.
"I will come and get you." He paused for a moment, and Kagome stayed silent, knowing that he had more to say. "Thank you for allowing me this, I will be sure you won't regret it."
Kagome said nothing, and instead hung up the phone. She handed it back to Satori and stood, her arms wrapped around herself. Suddenly she felt drained and exhausted and she just wanted to go to sleep.
So she silently made her way to her room, never noticing the way Satori's eyes followed her.
Kagome shut the door to the car as she climbed into the passenger seat. She rubbed her hands together, hating that she forgot her gloves at Sesshomaru's. She could hardly feel her fingers anymore. A large hand turned a few vents towards her, sending the heat her way and she gave him a grateful glance.
She jumped slightly when the gloves she had just been wishing for were suddenly being handed to her, and she hesitantly took them, again giving a glance of acknowledgement to her husband. He said nothing as she pulled them on and instead pulled out to the road, beginning to head in the proper direction.
"How have you been, Kagome?" Sesshomaru asked, attempting to break the tension in the car. "How has the pregnancy been?"
"Fine, I guess. I get morning sickness bad, but other than that, I haven't really had any symptoms." Kagome answered, leaning her head against the seat. She hadn't been able to keep anything down for days now, and it didn't seem as if that was going to change anytime soon. It was frustrating, because of how hungry she felt.
"How bad is it?" Sesshomaru asked, noticing the way her face already looked pale.
"Bad. Satori is forcing me to drink this disgusting tea, and it helps a little, but soon the sickness comes right back." Kagome replied, surprised by how easy it was to talk to him right now. Sure, it was still awkward, but as long as it stayed on their baby, she could handle it. "Pull over!"
He did as she asked immediately, and she was out of the door before he even had a chance to stop. She scrambled away, hitting her knees a few feet from the car and immediately emptied her stomach. There wasn't much there, but it was enough.
Sesshomaru also got out of the car and made his way to his wife, he kneeled beside her, grabbing her hair and holding it out of the way. Looking at the contents of her vomit, it was easy to see she wasn't eating very much.
Other than a few tea leaves, it contained mostly stomach acid and bile. His faced formed into a scowl of worry as Kagome continued to heave, not able to bring anything else up. Taking a chance he began to rub her back, attempting to sooth her.
He knew he may be pushing the boundaries, but there was no way he was willing to allow his wife to suffer alone when he was right there to help. Finally it seemed as if she was going to calm down, and she leaned back on her heels panting. Wet tracks fell from her eyes, and Sesshomaru reached into his pocket, pulling out a handkerchief and began to wipe her mouth.
Kagome watched his face as he did his task, noticing the worry etched into his scowl. She took note of the gentle way he helped her to clean her mouth, and the way he then folded the napkin so that when he wiped her eyes he didn't spread the vomit further.
It confused her. Why was he acting like he cared so much…like nothing had changed between them. He didn't love her, he couldn't. So why was he pretending. Did he think that because she was pregnant with his child that he had to keep acting?
"You don't have to do this…" Kagome whispered, pulling away from his hand as his eyes flicked towards her.
"Do what?" He asked, setting his hand against his knee.
"Pretend that you care. If you really want to stay in this baby's life, I won't keep you from it, but you don't have to act like you love me to do so." She replied, looking away.
In doing so, she never noticed the shock or hurt that crossed Sesshomaru's face, before it settled into anger. She never saw the way he closed his eyes slowly, or the way he fisted up his hands. She never saw just what her words did to him.
"Come Kagome, we will be late." He said, pushing to his feet.
He didn't even try to hold out a hand for her, knowing that she wouldn't take it, but he did linger, making sure she was steady before he followed her to his car. Kagome did nothing but grab a piece of gum from her purse, and Sesshomaru stayed silent as they drove to the doctor's office.
Nothing was said between the two, even when they arrived and were called back to the room. Sesshomaru watched as they had Kagome remove her pants, and get up on the table. She lifted up her shirt, and his eyes traveled to her stomach, wishing that was showing. By now, she would only be three months along, and that wasn't enough time for him to see the progression of his child.
His eyes flicked to the doctor as she came in, and he registered her speaking. He listened in, taking note of what all Kagome needed for her pregnancy. He agreed with what the doctor, Kikyou, said and nodded his approval. He would have to be sure he told his mother of what was said.
Kikyou said to keep drinking the tea, and no matter what eat. She informed that even if she couldn't keep the food down, the child would still be able to get nutrients before it was repelled. Something else Sesshomaru agreed with, and had Kagome not managed to tear his heart out, he would have already told her.
Kikyou finally began the ultrasound, and Sesshomaru sat up in his chair, looking at the screen. His own spotted his child before Kikyou's did and he couldn't keep the smirk from his face. It had grown since the last time Kagome had come, and already he was proud.
Hearing the heart beat just made his chest puff out in pride, and he looked to Kagome, surprised to see her watching him. She looked away immediately and her cheeks flushed at being caught. He looked away again and back to the monitor. How he just wanted to grab her hand and squeeze it.
When it came time to printing the pictures, Sesshomaru asked for his own copies. He knew Kagome would keep hers, and he wanted his own to look at. He already bought a picture frame for them, and he would set it on his nightstand, beside the photo of him and Kagome at their last vacation.
It would be what he looked at every night before he went to sleep.
Kikyou helped to clean off Kagome, giving a last few pointers, and then they were sent on their way. Sesshomaru opened the door to his car for Kagome, glad that she at least accepted that, and before he knew it his time with her was over.
It almost seemed as if he flew to his mother's house, when instead he went under the speed limit. Kagome didn't even attempt to say anything to him as she reached for the handle, and he did something he hadn't expected to.
He locked the doors before she could leave.
Blue eyes slowly turned towards him, and he decided if his body acted before he had a chance to think about it, he wasn't going to waste this moment. He wasn't going to waste any moment he was lucky enough to receive.
Quickly his hand shot out, grabbing her chin and forcing her to continue looking at him. "Kagome…I never once pretended how I felt about you. I have always loved you, and will continue to do so no matter how much you deny it. Even if you did not carry my child I would still fight for you, I will never stop fighting to have you back at my side…where you belong."
Tears pooled into Kagome's eyes and she wrenched her head away from his hand. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him, the anger she felt very evident. "You can't love me when you fucked Kagura and fathered her child. Go to hell, Sesshomaru."
And with that she unlocked the door, stepped out, and slammed it behind her. He watched as she ran inside, and when that door shut, he leaned his head against his seat and sighed deeply. He should have just kept his mouth shut, but he couldn't bring himself to let her continue thinking the way she had been.
This had been the first time he saw her in days, and it ended in disaster. How he had hoped this meeting would have went well. Straightening up, he pulled out of the drive way, determination on his face.
Yes, this was a setback, but he wouldn't give up.
-sSs-
One step forward, three steps back. Enough said.
Shout outs:
Redrake323: I feel bad for Sesshomaru as well, but soon Kagome will began to sit back and think about things. It won't take long before she finally ask him to answer a few questions and that will be the first step in the right direction.
Lady Sesshomaru sama 949: Is that a good wow, or a bad wow?
Tacosfly: Was this update quick enough for you? Lol. Perhaps your sneaking suspicious is correct, perhaps not. You will just have to wait and see.
Wren210: There is more going on with Satori than anyone knows. She has kept it a well-hidden secret, but soon Kagome will figure it out. While I would normally agree with your theory on Kagome having a girl, this time, I don't. Sesshomaru is just a normal doctor, he doesn't own any property other than where he is, he isn't a lord, nor is he insanely rich. He is just a normal human in this story, so he has no need for an heir. I will say that I have already decided what she is going to have, I will not however say what that decision is. Lol. You will just have to wait? I need to do some research and find out how far along a woman needs to be before they can tell the gender of the baby, that way I can find out when it needs to be included. Lol.
Supernaturalfan17890: They may, they may not. We shall see.
Sesskag493: Your thoughts on Sesshomaru and Malik are exactly what I was thinking when I wrote that chapter, plus I know more about what is happening in the story, so it is easier for me to think in these things. While I normally answer questions, I refuse to answer any questions that pertain to the plot. So, you will just have to continue reading to find out.
I do not own InuYasha.
