Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings
Summary: An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. WARNING: story contains non-sexual discipline of an adult , if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.
Chapter Eleven: Saying Sorry Once Again
Once Tony was in the house, he stood by the front door for a good five minutes. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. He knew that he had screwed up big and he hadn't seen Gibbs so angry in a while.
He could feel the dull, aching guilt in his stomach and the panic start to increase. He wanted to run back out of the house and away from his life.
He took a few deep breaths, considering his options, before kicking off his shoes and heading to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and the noise of the water on the cold tile helped dull the thoughts whirling through his head. He peeled off his clothes and left the in a heap on the bathroom floor. He was too distracted to worry about making sure they got into the hamper.
He should have turned the temperature cooler, but the burning heat of the water on his skin felt it was washing away the things that he didn't want to deal with. Tony closed his eyes tightly and let the water cascade over his head, but he couldn't stop the feelings of regret and anxiety over what he had done and what would happen when Gibbs got home.
A few hours later, Gibbs returned home to see Tony sitting on the couch barefoot in sweat pants and a t-shirt. His knees were drawn up and he was hugging them to his chest. When the young agent heard his boss arrive home, he looked up and Gibbs saw that he looked anxious and sad and incredibly young.
Gibbs set his keys down and sat opposite of Tony on the couch.
"I was worried about you today, Tony. I still am" Gibbs said and Tony was glad that he wasn't screaming at him. He did have every right to be angry.
"I'm sorry" Tony said, but it came out not much above a whisper.
"What were you thinking?" Gibbs asked the younger man. He knew that his behavior had something to do with the conversation about Tony moving back out eventually. Gibbs could tell that Tony was a little upset about the topic, but he didn't understand why the younger agent had so blatantly and intentionally misbehaved.
"I-" Tony felt his throat tighten with emotion and he couldn't talk. He rested his head on his knees and took a few deep breaths before he continued. The younger man kept his head down when he finally continued, "I just...didn't know what to do. I was upset"
"Look at me, please" Gibbs requested gently. When Tony met his gaze, he continued, "Are you upset because of what we talked about yesterday?"
Tony nodded. Gibbs didn't say anything, suggesting that Tony should continue.
"I don't want to move out. I wanted to make you realize that I'm not ready, so... I, um" Tony paused. He was embarrassed by his behavior and was having trouble explaining it out loud, "I guess I figured that if I did something to get in trouble, you would change your mind about me moving out"
"First of all," Gibbs started, "you are not moving out until you are ready to. After your behavior today, I can see that you still aren't thinking things through before you act. I've told you before, if you have a problem, you come and talk to me" The older man explained, again. He was starting to think that he should have had a more in-depth conversation with his agent the night before.
"I know. I'm sorry, boss. I just really don't want to spend the holidays alone and I got worried after we talked yesterday" Tony said quickly, as if he didn't hurry up and get the words out quickly, he wouldn't get them out at all.
"Oh, Tony," Gibbs said, suddenly understanding why DiNozzo was so upset. He hadn't even been thinking about the upcoming holidays. They were obviously going to be rough for Tony this year. He should have reassured him that he wouldn't be going through them alone.
"I'm sorry. I should have made it clear last night. There is no time line here, Tony. All I meant is that I want you to keep in mind that we're working on you getting better and being independent again. I don't want you to worry about the holiday season. I'll help you through it," Gibbs scooted closer to the younger man and squeezed his shoulder, " That was always the plan, okay?"
Tony nodded and quickly wiped at his eyes.
"We need to talk about how you acted today. You behavior was completely unacceptable" Gibbs said, his voice turning stern.
"I know" Tony agreed. He had no intention of contesting any punishment he reveived.
"Over the couch, DiNozzo" Gibbs said as he stood and started to take off his belt. Tony swallowed hard and bent over the back of the couch. It was just tall enough that the majority of his weight was supported and his feet still touched the ground. It would have almost been comfortable, if Gibbs wasn't about to tan his hide.
Tony felt his boss's strong hand on his back and he couldn't help but tense up.
"You were upset, Tony, and that should have been all the more reason for you to come and talk to me" Gibbs said. The belt landed across the younger man's backside with a loud smack. It had been almost two months since he had been spanked, but the pain from the first smack was still all too familiar and Tony's whole body jerked.
SMACK SMACK "Instead of coming to me," SMACK "You disappeared for two hours without telling me where you were going or answering your phone" SMACK SMACK SMACK
Gibbs kept Tony in place as the younger man tried not to kick his legs. He knew that he was only getting the punishment that he brought upon himself, but the pain made him move involuntarily.
"You are lucky that we didn't get called out for a case," SMACK SMACK SMACK "Otherwise, I would have had to explain to the director where you were," SMACK "and I can assure you that she would not have been happy to hear that I had no idea where you were" SMACK SMACK
Tony tried to contain himself, but he knew that Gibbs had yet to address all of his wrongdoings of the day and the tears were already falling.
"Drinking on the job, young man, is never okay, even if you are on lunch," SMACK SMACK "and you know that" SMACK SMACK SMACK.
"I'm sorry!" Tony sobbed into the couch. Gibbs landed another round of blows before he sat the belt down and rubbed the younger man's back.
"Alright, Tony. We're done. You're forgiven" Gibbs said reassuringly.
Tony stayed over the couch for a few minutes as he waited for the pain to subside. Gibbs continued to rub his back until the regained control of his breathing. When Gibbs noticed that Tony was making a move to stand, he grabbed his arm and helped him up. He gave Tony a quick hug.
"Are you okay?" Gibbs asked.
"Yeah, boss" Tony said, his voice still a little shaky.
"Hungry?" Gibbs asked, remembering that he didn't see any food dishes near Tony at the bar and wondering if Tony had eaten since breakfast.
"Starving" Tony said, suddenly all too aware of his growling stomach.
"There's some case files in my car that we should go through. Why don't you go get those, and I'll order us pizza?" Gibbs offered.
"Sounds like a plan" Tony said. He grabbed Gibbs's keys and headed out the door. Gibbs couldn't help but smile when Tony paused before going outside to rub at his backside.
TBC...
A/N Thanks for all the feedback, guys! I'm not ending this one as soon as I had originally thought. There will be at least three more chapters, but the next one will won't be up for about a week. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. :)
