Chapter Eleven
Dean woke with the largest crick in his neck when he woke up. How was it possible that Castiel's damn couch had been more comfortable than Dean's? He rolled off the couch and dragged himself towards the general direction of the kitchen. The kitchen was where the coffee was so that was where Dean was going. Dean opened the cupboard to grab a new pack of coffee and as he did so he heard movement coming from Sam's room.
"Wow, you look like shit." Sam said when he walked into the kitchen.
"Thanks bitch...I'm not going to make you coffee now." Dean muttered holding up the pack of coffee.
"I'm just saying; you look like you didn't get any sleep last night." Sam said shrugging.
"Yeah well the couch is uncomfortable as fuck." Dean muttered grabbing a new filter for his coffee machine.
"I thought Jo was on the couch." Sam said sitting down at the breakfast bar.
"No, I put her in the spare room...Cas...Cas had my bed." Dean said. Sam raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything which pissed Dean off more than it should have. It was almost as if Sam knew that Dean had nearly kissed Castiel last night and that drove Dean up the wall.
"You and Cas…"
"What about me and Cas?" Dean asked hating how defensive he sounded.
"I was just going to say that you and Cas seem to get on really well, that must be nice what with you seeing Anna." Sam said but Dean could see it, he could the words that Sam wasn't saying in his eyes and that terrified Dean. It really did. "He's a really decent guy, you're lucky he doesn't think that you're that much of a jerk."
"Thanks." Dean muttered sarcastically because he honestly wondered if Castiel still thought he was a jerk actually. It wouldn't surprise him.
"So when are you getting the plane back to California?" Dean asked Sam has he poured coffee into two large mugs. Sam had been in New York for a few days to see Dean and to find a gift for Jess' birthday that was in two days. Sam had agonised for days trying to find the right gift before he found a first edition copy of Jess' favourite book in a small second hand bookstore.
"I'm leaving in about an hour." Sam said. "What about you, what are you going to be doing?" Sam then asked before he took a sip of his coffee.
"Well…I'm going to drive to Chicago." Dean said shrugging and Sam choked slightly. "It's not that big of a deal Sam. Cas needs to get home and I need to see Anna so I might as well drive." Dean said shrugging even though the thought of sitting in a car for twelve hours with Cas was heavily playing on his mind.
"I'm not saying anything."
"Yes you are. Both you and Jo have that incredible talent where you can put whole sentences into just one blank look."
"Ellen taught us well."
"Well I must have missed those lessons."
"You were most likely in detention for punching someone." Sam said grinning over at Dean. "Does Cas know that you're going to be driving him to Chicago?"
"No…I decided it last night when I was going to sleep."
"Well you can tell him now." Sam said nodding over to Dean's bedroom door. Dean glanced over his shoulder and was immensely glad that he wasn't holding anything because it probably would have ended up on the floor.
Castiel emerged from Dean's room and it took everything inside of Dean not to just walk up to Castiel and kiss him fiercely on the mouth. He looked so sleepy and rumpled in just his t-shirt and boxers with his hair a complete mess and his full lips parted in a yawn. As he stretched his arms up high his t-shirt lifted and Dean became fixated in the strip of skin visible. There was the strongest urge inside of him to run his hand across it just so he could feel the warm skin again.
"M-m-morning." Castiel muttered blinking several times as he walked towards the open kitchen. "Please tell me that there is a copious quantity of coffee." He said pleadingly. Dean quickly poured him a mug and handed it to him with a small smile. Castiel wearily smiled back before gulping down his coffee like his life depended upon it.
"Wow, Dean and Jo can barely form sentences when hung over let alone use three syllable words."
"I could quote Dickens, Hemingway or Scott Fitzgerald but my head hurts too much to be perfectly honest." Castiel muttered and dean was very grateful that he didn't quote an author because the memory of last night, of Castiel's lips speaking a beloved quote had nearly sent Dean over the edge. He would not be able to resist the temptation to kiss Castiel again even with his brother in the damn room.
"Well I best get my stuff together. I'll leave you two to your coffees and whatnot." Sam said rising from his seat and exiting stage right. Dean glared at the back of his brother's head as he sauntered off into his own little room to pack. Damn Sam…
"Um…how's the head this morning then?" Dean asked trying to sound casual.
"It's been worse; I think I was just so damn tired last night. I barely remember getting back here let alone going to sleep." Castiel said and Dean was instantly relieved. Castiel wouldn't remember the way that Dean's hand had lingered on either his stomach or his waist. He wouldn't remember that Dean had nearly kissed. Ok part of him was slightly upset that Castiel didn't remember but it was for the best in the long run he guessed.
"Think you can manage breakfast? I don't have Pop Tarts but I could make you something like a bacon sandwich or an omelette." Dean said.
"Food certainly sounds like a very positive thing right about now so thank you." Castiel said sitting down in the seat Sam had vacated while he watch Dean set about to make food. Dean was just getting ingredients from the fridge when there was noise from the guest room.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Mary and Joseph combined…" Dean heard someone, and by someone he basically meant a groggy sounding Jo, mutter as the guest bedroom door opened. Jo practically crawled out and without a word Dean held out a large mug full of coffee for her. Jo reached out for the mug then carried on her way to the bathroom. The door shut with a close and Dean couldn't help but snort.
"Is she ok?" Castiel asked sounding highly concerned.
"Yeah, she'll be fine. If she's not out in an hour though I might have to go and check to see if she hasn't drowned in the bathtub" Dean explained as he went back to making breakfast. Sam appeared after twenty minutes and announced that he'd be leaving as there was apparently heavy traffic towards the airport so he would need to leave now and save missing his flight. Dean watched as Sam gave Castiel a warm looking one armed hug.
"It was really good to meet you Cas" Sam said grinning while Castiel went slightly red. Dean resisted throwing a frying pan at his brother…thought it was highly tempting. "Is Jo conscious?"
"She's in the bathroom." Dean said.
"Yo! Jo! I'm leaving now!" Sam called in the general direction of the bathroom.
"Bye Bigfoot! Say happy birthday to Jess for me!" Jo's yelled groggily.
"Well at least we know she's alive still." Dean said as he walked over to hug Sam even though his brother was acting like a child over Castiel being there. "See you soon bitch. Give Jess a birthday kiss from me."
"Yeah I will. See soon loser." Sam said giving Dean a grin before he picked up his duffel bag. "See you Cas."
"Bye Sam." Castiel said giving Sam a wave of his hand. Sam gave Dean one last smile before he hurried out the apartment leaving Castiel and Dean alone in the kitchen. Dean went back to making breakfast while Castiel drank his coffee.
"So...um..." Dean heard himself mutter as he handed Castiel his breakfast.
"You really can't say anything unless it's written for you in a script can you?" Castiel asked with that damn smirking smile of his.
"Funny. I was going to say that instead of you getting the train back to Chicago how...how about I drive?" Dean asked.
"To Chicago? You don't have to do that Dean."
"You know me, I never miss a chance to drive for several hours at a time...besides I could do with seeing your sister." Dean said and he watched Castiel's face falter for a second before it was replaced with a blank look that Dean found impossible to read.
"Yeah...of course you do. If you want to drive then drive." Castiel said shrugging his slender shoulders.
"Road trip!" Dean heard Jo cry from the bathroom and he groaned inwardly.
"You could always ditch her on the Brooklyn bridge." Castiel said.
"Don't give me any ideas." Dean said glad that Castiel's face had changed from the blank look to that of a slight smile.
"Jo if you're coming with us then hurry up, it's a twelve hour drive to Chicago!" Dean yelled nearly an hour later. It was ten in the morning and Jo was still pissing around in the guest room. If they didn't leave soon they wouldn't get to Chicago until past midnight.
"I'm coming!" Jo yelled from the guest room. Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes as Jo came running out the room with her bag bulging. "What? I didn't know what to take with me so I just threw in all the clothes that I have lying around here." Jo said.
"Well come on then." Dean said before he turned to Castiel. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah sure, I've text Anna telling her what's going on." Castiel said with a small smile as he picked up his messenger bag. Dean didn't want to admit that spending twelve hours in a car with Castiel, plus Jo but she would spend most of the journey asleep in the backseat, was probably going to be the highlight of the next days for him.
After several hours of being sat in Dean's car Castiel could safely say that he knew all the words to several ACDC songs thanks to Dean's albums. His legs were also beginning to go stiff and he could have done with doing something…anything. He was contemplating texting Anna when he saw Dean yawn slightly.
"You know…if you're tired I could drive for a bit. You could get some sleep if you wanted." Castiel said because he was too wired to sleep and if he was driving then he would at least stop looking at Dean so often. Dean glanced over at him in surprise.
"I thought you didn't drive." Dean said.
"Just because I choose not drive doesn't mean that I don't know how to drive." Castiel said smirking. When he saw Dean's dubious look he smirked even more so. "Afraid I might crash your baby?" Castiel asked.
"Honestly? Yes, but I could do with some damn sleep." Dean said as he began to pull over. As Castiel climbed out the car he heard the bones in his legs creak loudly. He stretched his arms above his head before sliding into the driver's seat. When Dean climbed into the passenger's seat he looked pretty uncomfortable.
"You're not used to people driving your car are you?"
"No not really, she's my baby you see." Dean said. The love in his voice when he spoke about his car was the same kind of love that was in Castiel's voice when he spoke about his favourite books or his laptop.
"Well I feel honoured." Castiel said shooting Dean a smile which Dean quickly returned.
"You should do." Dean said as Castiel started the car back up.
"You…you don't mind if we play some of my music do you?" Castiel asked after a moment.
"Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole. That's the general rule when in my baby. It stops Jo from complaining when I play a shitload of Led Zepplin." Dean said.
"Ok…um…my iPod is in my messenger bag." Castiel said nodding over to the bag by Dean's feet. Dean pulled it out and held it up for Castiel. "There's a playlist entitled 'Road Mix', if you don't mind we could play that" Castiel added when Dean handed him his iPod.
"I find it amusing that someone who never drives anywhere would have a road trip mix." Dean said was he watched Castiel plug his iPod into the radio/CD player. Castiel wished he'd stop staring at him because it was making it difficult to concentrate on driving.
"Ok it's more of a 'Sat On A Train Listening To Anna Talk About How Hemingway Stole Picasso's Girlfriend For The Hundredth Time' than a road trip mix." Castiel explained.
"Did he?" Dean asked.
"Who, Hemingway? He may have but that's not the point. Anna just likes to needle me about my favourite authors because I dislike some of her favourite artists." Castiel said with a shrug before the car filled with music. Castiel watched as Dean's face changed from slightly sleepy to completely perplexed.
"Ok, what the hell are we even listening to?" Dean then asked looking at Castiel's iPod with a terrified look on his face.
"They're a British band called Mumford and Sons. Haven't you heard of them? They're pretty big over here in the US, they're very good as well" Castiel said smugly.
"They're playing banjos Cas, banjos!" Dean cried.
"You need to broaden your horizons Dean." Castiel said haughtily as he shrugged his shoulders again. Dean looked at him then shook his head with a loud groan before pouting. Dean's love for old rock was actually quite adorable if Castiel was being honest.
"Banjos belong deep in the south with the red necks, not in my car." Dean then said still pouting dramatically.
"'Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole'" Castiel quoted grinning at Dean and the look on Dean's face was priceless.
"God you're such an asshole..." Dean muttered under his breath and Castiel couldn't help but chuckle. "I hate you" Dean groaned. "I can't believe I'm actually letting anyone drive my baby let alone make me listen to this." He added.
"The musical education will be good for you." Castiel said and Dean just huffed in his seat as if Castiel had seriously insulted him. Castiel continued to drive as they sat in silence until the next song came on and Dean glanced over at Castiel questioningly.
"It's Bastille, they're another British band." Castiel explained.
"Ok I'll admit they aren't that bad..." Dean said begrudgingly. "I still can't believe I'm letting someone drive my baby though never mind how tired I am."
"Well I've never crashed a car yet so you shouldn't be so worried. I've even driven one handed and very distracted before." Castiel said with smirk. He wasn't really going to mention hand jobs in front of Dean because...well he was Dean Winchester but the temptation had been too great and the look on Dean's face now was far too amusing. Plus Dean seemed so tired that he probably wouldn't even remember this conversation.
"What were you doing?" Dean asked warily.
"Something that required one hand and my concentration." Castiel said winking at Dean. Dean's eyebrows shot up as he clearly understood exactly what Castiel was talking about now. Castiel wasn't sure why he was telling Dean this, maybe it was to shock him or maybe it was to prove to Dean that he wasn't the nerd or the prude that Dean might have thought he was. Instead of looking shocked Dean simply smirked.
"Was it the coffee or the looks that got them?" He asked in a low husk that sent a rush of longing deep down into Castiel's chest. He should stop this now, stop this friendship that was forming between he and Dean, because it would just end in heartbreak once Dean went back to New York or he made things real with Anna. This was dangerous territory and Castiel knew he should stop but instead he gave Dean the dirtiest smile he possessed.
"Maybe it was both. It's how I get everyone in the end." He said waiting to Dean's face change, waiting for the weight of Castiel's words to sink in but it never came. Dean just carried on looking at him with a delicious smirk and, holy fuck, he winked. Dean must have more tired than Castiel originally thought. That was the only explanation right?
That didn't explain last night though. That didn't explain Dean's hand on his waist or the fact that at one point while they were sat on Dean's bed Castiel thought that Dean was going to kiss him…
After several more hours Dean took over driving duties and the music changed from Castiel's to Dean's favourite classic rock songs. Dean seemed relieved to be listening to music where banjos weren't the main instrument used. Jo would occasionally wake up in the backseat to offer some sarcastic comment before Dean told her to go back to sleep and stop being so annoying.
"I find it amazing that she can sleep in the car, I never can." Castiel said glancing to the back of the car where Jo was snoring slightly.
"She used to get carsick really badly when we were kids and the only thing that helped was her going to sleep. You only have to get her sat in the passenger seat of a car nowadays and she's falling asleep." Dean explained. "She once slept for fifteen hours straight when we were driving across America one summer."
"That must be nice in a way."
"Well it stops her from blowing chunks on the highway so yeah, I guess it is nice."
"You're so poetic Winchester…" Castiel muttered with a shake of his head.
"As always your condescension is always appreciated Milton." Dean said firing a quick smirk at Castiel. Castiel really wasn't sure if Dean knew that this all felt like flirting and if he did then Castiel really wished that he would stop because it wasn't helping matters at all. He also wished that Dean would keep his eyes on the road more often because wasn't that one of the damn fundamentals of driving?
Castiel felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and it took him several moments to pull it out of his pocket. Glancing down at the screen he was surprised to see a text message alert from Gabriel. This could not be good at all and Castiel couldn't help put let out a slight groan.
"What's wrong?" Dean asked when he heard Castiel's groan.
"It's a text from Gabriel." Castiel said rolling his eyes as he unlocked his phone.
Gabriel: Where you be at big brother?
"That is terrible grammar and I'm ashamed to be related to him." Castiel muttered shaking his head.
Castiel: I'm driving back from New York.
Gabriel: There are so many random things about that sentence, I hope you know that. Do you fancy making a detour to Lincoln to pick me up? My weekend is free and it's going to be very boring just sat at home. So do you feel picking up your favourite sibling?
Castiel: Anna isn't in Lincoln at the moment.
Gabriel: Very funny. Please come to Lincoln and pick me up.
Castiel: Did you just say please?
Gabriel: Yes, yes I did so come and pick me up.
"Do you mind if we make a detour?" Castiel asked Dean.
"How much of a detour?" Dean asked glancing at the clock on the dashboard.
"To Lincoln, it's not that far from here. Gabriel wants to come to see Anna and I for the weekend." Castiel explained. Dean shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't mind." He said. "We can pick him up if you give me directions."
"Yeah sure, of course" Castiel said as he began to type his reply.
Castiel: Fine, we'll be there in a few hours.
Gabriel: We?
Castiel refused to answer because it would be easier to not tell Gabriel via text messaging that he was in a car with Dean Winchester.
Gabriel: Who's 'we'?
Gabriel: Castiel?
Gabriel: Fine, I'll find out soon enough anyway, you dick.
The journey into Lincoln took less time than Dean thought thanks to the little amount of traffic on the road. Not before too long Castiel was navigating him down a quiet looking street filled with houses. Dean killed the engine in front of the house Castiel told him to park in front and looked up at the house.
"Wow…nice house." he said when he pulled up outside the medium sized house with a huge front lawn.
"It's my Aunt and Uncle's house." Castiel said without added anything else as a way of explanation. Dean looked at his face and was surprised to see how sad it looked, like this house held too many memories almost. "I won't be a minute." Castiel then said climbing out of the car and slamming the door behind him. The loud noise jolted Jo in the back seat and she mumbled something groggily.
"What?" Dean asked turning around in his seat.
"I said 'Where the fuck are we?'" Jo muttered yawning loudly.
"Lincoln." Dean said.
"And where exactly is that?" Jo groaned between another loud yawn.
"Two hours from Chicago, we're picking up Castiel's brother." Dean said nodding towards the house. Jo sat up in her seat and looked towards the house. Dean followed her lead and could see Castiel at the front door waiting for someone by the looks of it.
"More siblings?" Jo asked raising an eyebrow.
"Just the one, his name is Gabriel." Dean explained.
"As in the angel?" Dean nodded his head "Seriously?" Jo asked with a loud snort.
"Seriously so don't take the piss." Dean said looking back at Jo and giving her a warning look.
"When do I ever take the piss?"
"When do you not?" Dean pointed out. Jo clearly thought about it for a moment before she nodded in agreement. "Right, so be nice…or at least your version of nice." Dean said glancing back over towards the house. Castiel was now stood on the doorstep talking to a very excited looking Gabriel. Even from here Dean could see Castiel exasperation at his brother while he seemed to explain something. At one point it looked like Gabriel was going to race back into the house but Castiel grabbed him by the collar and pushed him towards the driveway. A woman who looked like she was in her early fifties came to the door and gave Castiel a tender smile before waving both Castiel and Gabriel goodbye. The two bothers carried on marching until Castiel reached the car door.
"I am so very, very sorry for whatever will happen within the next two hours." Castiel said Dean once he was back in the car.
Jo was whinging in the back seat, which Gabriel, who was sat next to her, somehow found more amusing then it was. Castiel had warned Dean that once they picked him up Gabriel would probably try to get into Jo's pants no matter of the age difference and that seemed pretty evident by the countless compliments that Gabriel was giving her. Castiel had called him incorrigible and Dean sensed that was pretty accurate. They had been in the car mere minutes and this had already started. While Castiel seemed to be having difficulty refraining himself from kill his brother Dean was having his own difficulty trying to find something decent on Castiel's iPod so he could have done without the distraction of Gabriel trying to flirt with Jo.
"Christ, there has to be shitloads of tracks on here." Dean muttered trying to keep his eyes on both the road and the small iPod screen.
"Is that the official way to count music these days?" Gabriel asked chuckling.
"Dean close the window, I'm freezing. Why is Illinois so fucking cold?" Jo complained. Dean sighed as Castiel reached over to the middle by the gearstick and rolled up the windows so Dean could carry on looking for a good song.
"Awww Castiel to the rescue" Gabriel said clapping his hands.
"Seriously Cas, how many songs are on this thing?" Dean asked ignoring Gabriel which seemed like the easiest thing to do.
"By my last count I think it was two thousand, three hundred and eighty six...no wait, ninety four. I added a new EP onto it two days ago." Castiel said.
"That's insane." Dean said rolling his eyes. "Oh I give up. I cannot find a single band I've actually heard of." Dean complained handing the iPod back to Castiel.
"So you're giving up music rights?" Jo asked. "Wow..." She said emitting out a low whistle.
"Shut it Jo." Dean muttered because there was way too much context within that whistle.
"You wear too many flannel shirts not to know half of these bands Dean." Castiel said picking a song at random and guitar music soon filled up the car.
"That's because he's a mid-western farm boy. Wearing flannel is a rule and has nothing to do with music. Besides his taste in music is shit" Jo said snorting.
"For the last time, I did not grow up on a farm! Jo you constantly forget that you lived down the street from me until we were seventeen?" Dean snapped.
"I like to say it because it pisses you off." Jo said shrugging. "It's one of my favourite pastimes along with 'See If Dean Can Have A Fit Over His Coffee Table' and 'Replace His Face Cream With Mayonnaise'" Jo explained.
"Face cream?" Castiel asked raising an eyebrow at Dean.
"It's moisturiser and I have sensitive skin ok?!" Dean said feeling his face grow red.
"You know, I could imagine you on a farm Dean. Straw in your mouth, strategic overalls, working on tractors, doing whatever it is they do with hay...tipping a cow. That should be your next movie! I could see it selling very well."
"Cow tipping is something you're not supposed to do on a farm Gabriel." Castiel said rolling his eyes at his brother.
"Dean got arrested for cow tipping once." Jo said grinning from ear to ear. "We were thirteen and Dean was bored one night so along with some school friends we went cow tipping. It was great…until Dean got caught that is. Pamela has expressed many times that he should not mention it in any interviews he gives."
"See! I knew you'd do well on a farm!" Gabriel said clapping his hands. Dean almost considered driving his car into the nearest tree or street light but he just couldn't do that to his precious baby.
"The next person to mention farms, straw or cows can walk the rest of the way to Chicago." Dean growled firmly keeping his eyes on the road.
"What about hay?" Gabriel asked leaning over Castiel.
"Especially hay!" Dean cried. Jo and Gabriel stifled snorts of laughter while Castiel smirked in his seat. It was going to be a long night.
The two hour trip didn't drag half as much as Dean thought it would. It probably helped that he placed a ban on talking after forty minutes as well Castiel stopped trying to play obscure music and settling on playing some relatively decent rock music.
Jo had fallen asleep again though Gabriel didn't seem to mind at all seeing as her head was resting on his shoulder. His smug smile was so huge Dean wondered if it hurt to smile like that. Castiel just shook his head at his brother and Dean was quickly seeing that this was the main Castiel did when it came to Gabriel. Castiel seemed highly relieved when Gabriel dropped off to sleep when they were about thirty minutes away from Chicago.
"Um…" Dean said coughing slightly to clear his throat. "So…last night was fun." He said.
"Yeah, yeah it was. I can see why you love Jo and Sam so much, they're great people. Sam is very smart; I can understand why you're so proud of him." Castiel said looking over at Dean. "Jo seems like the life and soul of the party as well. Remind me that she and Ruby should never meet, I think it might cause the apocalypse." Castiel added with a quiet laugh as to not wake Gabriel or Jo.
"Yeah…yeah they're my best friends…I couldn't imagine being without them."
"I understand that. I mean, I obviously don't have that relationship with Gabriel but I do with Anna."
"Yeah…you and Gabriel…I'm amazed you haven't killed him yet." Dean said.
"Yes well Gabriel…he's Gabriel…" Castiel said.
"Was everything ok between you two earlier on?" Dean asked and Castiel gave him a questioning look. "When we picked him up in Lincoln, you seemed annoyed at him…" Dean said as the song that was playing changed to a slow track full of deep guitars. Dean wished that Castiel would change the track because it added more to the atmosphere inside the car than necessary.
"Oh that was just him being Gabriel. The thought of being in a car with 'Dean Winchester' was enough to send him into a miniature freak out. If I hadn't of dragged him to the car then he would have gone to get his limited double disc collector's edition of The Extraction Point for you to sign." Castiel said.
"Are you sure that's it?" Dean asked because it seemed like there was something else that could be upsetting Castiel.
"It's…Gabriel has been getting into trouble at school recently and it's been upsetting my Aunt Rachel. Gabriel…Gabriel is her favourite because she thinks he's got hidden greatness so to see him get into constant trouble upsets her…the last thing I want is for Aunt Rachel to be upset."
"Are you close to your Aunt?" Dean asked.
"Yeah…it's a long story Dean." Castiel said and the lowness of his voice made it clear that Castiel didn't want to carry on with the conversation.
"Sorry…I shouldn't have asked should I?"
"It's fine Dean…really, it's fine." Castiel said waving Dean away slightly. With just the wave of a hand Dean felt a millions miles away from Castiel. Castiel had said that things were fine yet it didn't feel like things were fine at all. It seemed that was much as Dean wanted to know more about Castiel the more Castiel pulled away after he'd revealed something about himself. "You need to take the next exit; it'll cut the journey down by fifteen minutes." Castiel then said nodding towards an exit coming up.
"Welcome home!" Anna cried to Castiel when she opened the door to the apartment. "I see you've brought Gabriel as well...I'll hide all the flammable objects." She added when seeing Gabriel's slightly sleepy but happy face. Dean couldn't help but chuckle at the sheer look of panic in Anna's eyes when she saw Gabriel.
"Oh dear sweet sister you think too ill of me." Gabriel said.
"No Gabriel, I don't think ill enough, my room at home still has scorch marks on the ceiling thanks to you." Anna said before she kissed Dean on the cheek.
"That was an accident!" Gabriel said innocently not convincing anyone.
"Oh I like this kid." Jo said snorting before she turned to smile at Anna. "Hey there, you must be Anna. Both Dean and Castiel have told me all about you."
"Jo right? Dean's told me about you as well. It's really nice to meet you." Anna said.
"See? People are actually happy to see me." Jo said smirking over at Dean. Dean rolled his eyes and refrained from making a highly sarcastic comment but from the look on Castiel's face he could tell how much Dean wanted to make a highly derisive remark towards Jo.
"Sorry I'm back so late…we had to make a detour thanks to Gabriel over there." Castiel said.
"It's fine. You just missed Ruby actually."
"What a shame." Castiel said sarcastically.
"She's having a party tomorrow night and she's hoping to 'seal the deal' with some Philosophy major she's had her eye on for the past week" Anna explained and Gabriel looked crestfallen despite the fact that he had just spent the best part of two hours trying to flirt with Jo. Castiel was right when he had called his brother incorrigible.
"Well…not that this conversation isn't riveting, because it is, but I could do with my beauty sleep. I'll go and set myself up in Castiel's bed." Gabriel said smugly.
"No you won't." Castiel snapped quickly. "You can have the damn couch and be grateful" Castiel added.
"You don't have to worry about us, we won't crash here. Jo has a deep and resounding love for motels." Dean said quickly because he didn't want Castiel or Anna to worry about where he or Jo was going to sleep. Gabriel raised his eyebrows suggestively and turned to look at Jo with a leering smile.
"Really?" He asked looking Jo up and down. Dean could see Castiel shaking his head in frustration off to the side.
"They're fascinating places ok? It's like watching theatre sometimes. I've seen some incredibly interesting things in motels in my time." Jo said grinning. While Jo 'fascinated' Gabriel and Castiel with past stories of sights she had seen in motels Dean walked over to Anna who smiled at him brightly. It was a nice sight and yet it made Dean feel even more guilty about the night before and the near kiss.
"Hey." Dean said taking Anna to one side. "Are you free tomorrow afternoon?" he asked. He'd come here to talk to Anna, to try and see if he could make things work so that's what he had to do he guessed.
"Yeah, yeah I'm free." Anna said.
"Great…um, do you want to grab a coffee or something?" Dean asked and Anna nodded slightly.
"Yeah, I should be free around two so shall we meet at the café near here?" Anna asked.
"Yeah, that sounds great. It's getting late so Jo and I should probably get out of your hair." Dean said.
"You don't have to." Anna said.
"We probably should, we still have to book into a motel room."
"As long as you're sure. Thank you for driving Castiel back here…it was really kind of you."
"It's fine Anna, it really is." Dean said not wanting to say that he'd enjoyed himself far too much being sat in the car with Castiel.
"Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow then? Two?"
"Yeah." Dean said giving Anna a quick smile before looking over to Jo. "Oi, Harvelle!" He called. Jo looked over to Dean and gave him an innocent smile that scared Dean far too much.
"I wasn't telling Gabriel about the time you nearly fell off that motel balcony when we were in Little Rock!" Jo said. Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes at her. Why was he even still friends with her?
"Yes well thanks for that, we best get going if we're going to get into a motel." Dean said and Jo nodded her head. Giving Gabriel a wink she sauntered over to Castiel and gave him a quick hug.
"Despite your musical taste, which is even more questionable than Dean's, you were a very good traveling buddy Cas." Jo said. "And I'll see you soon" she added winking over at Gabriel. God she must have been tired if she was flirting with a high schooler despite the fact that she had spent the best part of the last fourteen hours asleep.
Dean shot Castiel a quick smile which Castiel returned though he looked somewhat dubious for a moment. Talk about mixed signals. "I guess we'll see you guys tomorrow" he said before he and Jo left the apartment and walked down to the impala. Jo yawned loudly as they were climbing into the car. Dean turned the engine on as Jo yawned loudly yet again. As Dean was pulling out of his parking space he noticed Castiel's iPod still plugged in. "Put it on the dashboard will you?" Dean asked as he glanced down the road to make sure there was no traffic.
"Since when did you go digital with the old tunes?" Jo asked.
"I didn't, it's Cas'." Dean said with a shrug. "Cas plugged it in when he was driving. See you miss things when you're passed out in the back seat." Dean added and Jo raised her eyebrows in surprise.
"You let Cas drive the baby?" Jo asked whistling. "When's the wedding?" Jo then joked.
"What does that mean?" Dean asked.
"Come on Dean, I've known you since we were in diapers. I was the one who got their drivers licence first, and on the first try as well. Without killing anything."
"That deer came out of nowhere!"
"Yeah whatever. We've been friends since the days of apple juice in sippy cups and you've never let me drive the baby."
"You totalled two cars last year." Dean pointed out. "Both of those cars I brought you as well"
"The totalling of the cars is a matter of opinion."
"I would call Bobby's opinion a strong one." Dean said. Jo gave him the finger.
"You must like him." Jo said after a moment.
"Who?"
"Cas"
"He's the brother of the girl I'm seeing...sort of. I have to like him." Dean said.
"His iPod is in your car, the car that he drove despite you not letting anyone drive the Impala."
"He forgot his iPod, that's all."
"You let him drive, you have to like him." Jo pushed and Dean really wished that she would stop talking.
"I had been driving for hours and Cas offered to drive for a while so I could get some sleep, that's all."
"Ok"
"Ok?"
"Yeah, ok...for now anyway."
"Jo I'm warning you."
"I'm not saying anything. Yet."
"Jo come on..."
"There is something you aren't telling me Dean, I know there is something you aren't telling me." Jo said sternly crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at Dean with a steely look. "Why can't you just tell me? We tell each other nearly everything."
"I nearly kissed Cas in New York." Dean hear himself say before he could stop himself. Whenever Jo looked at him like that he found himself being more honest than he wanted to be, damn Jo.
"I knew it!" Jo yelled causing Dean to nearly crash the car.
"Jesus Jo!" Dean cried slamming on the breaks and incurring a blare of a horn from the car behind.
"I knew it though! The next day you were so jumpy and you seemed so pissed off! What stopped you from kissing him? He'd clearly be into it. He looks at you like you're naked and covered in melted chocolate." Jo said sounding smug.
"Because he mentioned Anna ok? I like Anna and it is not fair to drunkenly kiss her brother when I like her." Dean said with loud sigh.
"You like Cas though, I saw that as soon as I met him." Jo said.
"Yeah I do like Cas; he's sarcastic and a bit of dickhead without being a complete asshole about it. I've never met anyone apart from hom who is so snarky towards me."
"What about me and Sam?" Jo asked.
"You and Sam are family, Cas is...Cas is Cas. He's...different." Dean said knowing that didn't half explain Cas but Dean didn't think his words could do Cas justice.
"He's going to be assbutt naked screaming your name by the end I the month." Jo said bluntly.
"Jo I'm warning you..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll shut up now...as long as you admit you're not thinking about Cas being assbutt naked screaming your name."
"Shut up Jo." Dean said tersely because he really couldn't stop thinking about the imagine Jo had planted in his head. It wasn't a bad image really.
"You should tell him how you feel." Jo said shrugging her shoulders.
"That I want to see him 'assbutt naked'? Yes because that is a conversation I want to have." Dean said with a voice weighted down with heavy sarcasm.
"Well talk to Anna then."
"Are you insane? You want me to talk to Anna about how I nearly kissed her brother?"
"I'm just saying, maybe Anna will understand if you just explain. You like her sure but you also like Cas, see how she feels about you and then if she likes you but not in a way that could last then say something to Cas."
"That is the worst idea ever Jo."
"No it's not. It's a great idea but you just don't want to do it because you're a fucking pussy."
"Gee, thanks Jo."
"It's true, Sam agrees."
"Wait...what?! How the hell does Sam agree with you? When did Sam agree with you?"
"When I was aboard the moose express. We had a lovely conversation."
"What does Sam know?" Dean asked. He'd spent a lot of time hiding things from Sam so finding out that Dam knew there was something between him and Cas was discomforting.
"That you and Cas fuck the hell out of each other with your eyes at every opportunity! Seriously Dean you were so fucking obvious back in New York! Sam and I were shocked to find you asleep on the couch and not with Cas. You really do need to give Sam more credit; he's not stupid, he can clearly see something between you and Cas." Jo said sternly.
"Jo-"
"Don't tell me to shut up Winchester. Sam doesn't care about who you care for, he just wants you to be happy." Jo said as they pulled up outside a motel. "Now just promise me that you'll talk to Anna and Cas? Because if you don't then you'll really regret it."
"Jo think about what you're talking about, can you imagine the shit fit Pamela will have over his if she found out that I like Cas."
"Oh for fuck sake Dean! Pamela has controlled your life in nearly every single way since you were nineteen! You're happy ok? I watched you when we were out with Cas and the way you look at it! He makes you happy so do something about it before I punch you in your fucking face!" Jo snapped slapping Dean repeatedly on the arm.
"Ow! Will you stop that?" Dean snapped back.
"No! Not until you promise me that you'll stop being such a fucking pussy!" Jo said.
"Fine! I'll talk to Anna."
"And you'll talk to Cas?"
"Jo don't push it." Dean said parking up in the small parking lot. "I'm fucking exhausted so if you're planning on carrying on with this rant then you can sleep in the bathroom."
"Wouldn't be the first time." Jo said as they climbed out the impala. "Seriously, why is this city so fucking cold?" Jo grumbled to herself as they walked into the motel.
"Jo if you don't stop complaining then you can forget sleeping I bathe bathroom, I'll make you sleep outside in the hallway." Dean threatened.
"Butt naked Cas." Jo said with the smirk.
"I really hate you sometimes" Dean muttered.
Dean met Anna the next afternoon in the small café near Anna's apartment and he honestly didn't know what the hell to say to her. He knew he couldn't tell her about the near kiss in New York no matter what Jo had said to him. He was sure that it would just be cruel and the last thing Dean wanted to be towards Anna was cruel. Dean was there first and grabbed the most inconspicuous table there was. He only had to wait a few minutes before Anna arrived, shaking drops of rain from her red hair. She smiled when she spotted Dean and quickly moved between the tables to reach Dean. He stood up to give her a quick kiss on the cheek because that was the polite thing to do.
"You haven't been waiting long have you?" Anna asked as she sat down opposite Dean.
"No, I've only just gotten here." Dean said.
"Oh…good." Anna said. "You seemed like you had something that you needed to say last night and that's why you asked me here, am I right?"
"You're pretty observational."
"You have to be growing up with both Castiel and Gabriel though there for both very different reasons."
"Well yeah…I did want to talk to you about something." Dean said before he coughed nervously. Shit, he really should have rehearsed this beforehand because now that he was here he had no idea what the fuck to actually say to Anna. Damn… "I…I wanted to talk to you about…I wanted to talk about us."
"Us?" Anna asked frowning slightly.
"Yeah…as in 'you and me'" Dean said.
"Oh…"
"Oh?" Dean asked because the look on Anna's face was beginning to confuse him as well as make him feel more nervous than he already felt.
"Dean you're an amazing guy..." Anna said holding onto Dean's hand gently. "I'm so glad that I've gotten to know you over the past month or so. Most people in America would think me crazy for doing this but I think I have to…no I know have to. I really like you and I like your friends as well. Jo is lovely and I really hope to keep in touch with her after all this...I really like you but...I think we're better being friends. I don't want my life to be thrown into the spotlight even more so but being friends with you is something I want." Anna said. "I like you, I really do like but it's just...it's...I just don't think I can like you...love you enough for all the attention I'd get from the media to not get to me...and...and well I think you want this to work more because of what your publicist thinks and not how you feel about me."
"Anna-"
"I'm not saying that to be cruel Dean, if anything I'm saying it to be kind because this way we can both find people who really, really care about us. Though, I think if you looked close enough you'd find that person quite quickly." Anna said with a small smile slowly spreading across her lips.
"What do you mean Anna?" Dean asked but Anna just chuckled slightly as she stood up and kissed Dean on the cheek.
"I'm not blind to what is in front of me Dean and neither should you be." Anna said with a small smile "They might not be there forever Dean, so…act quickly ok?" Anna added before walking out of the café leaving Dean highly confused. Did Anna mean what Dean thought she meant and if so then how fucking obvious had he really been?
The apartment was empty. Actually empty. There was no Anna and no Gabriel. Castiel could just sit on the couch and watch whatever he damn well felt like watching for once. He could eat his own Pop Tarts without someone stealing them. He could sing Johnny Cash as loudly as he wanted without anyone complaining. It was actual bliss. Well it was bliss until there was a knock on the apartment door. If it was Gabriel saying that he'd forgotten his keys then Castiel was going to end up throwing something at him.
Hauling himself up off the couch Castiel walked to the front door and pulled it open, never expecting the person who was standing to actually be standing there in front of him.
"Dean? What are you doing here?" Castiel questioned when he opened the front door to see Dean standing in front of him looking a tad worse for wear.
"Um…hey." Dean mumbled slightly.
"Hey..."
"You weren't busy were you?" Dean asked as Castiel let him into the apartment.
"Not really, no. I'm just revealing in both Anna and Gabriel being out of the apartment at the moment." Castiel said nodding towards the TV that was showing the first ten minutes of one of his favourite films.
"God, Jo came with me to Sundance to see this and she fell asleep fifteen minutes in. I was so pissed off at her."
"Anna's the same. She never lets me put it on if she's in the apartment." Castiel said. "Anna…um…Anna told me about this afternoon. I'm sorry that it didn't work out between you two." Castiel said.
"What? Oh yeah…yeah…thanks." Dean said sighing slightly.
"Do you want a beer or something?" Castiel asked because it seemed like the polite thing to do.
"Um…yeah…sure." Dean said with a shrug. Castiel walked over to the fridge and grabbed two beers from inside. He opened them both then handed one to Dean. "Thanks. I'm sorry if I've interrupted you watching your film."
"It's fine Dean, really. Sit down if you want…no offence but you look like you need to talk…about this afternoon." Castiel said.
"What you mean I could do with talking about the fact that your sister completely rejected me? Yeah I suppose I could do with talking about it." Dean said shrugging. "Maybe it's for the best in the end though." Dean said. "That Anna and I have stopped seeing one another…" he added with a slight mumble. Castiel didn't say anything; instead he just drained the remainder of his beer and placed the empty bottle on the kitchen counter.
"Yeah…I mean you're some famous movie star, you should be dating moronic supermodels or someone like that." Castiel said shrugging because if Dean and Anna were completely over then that meant that the unlikely friendship forming between him and Dean would soon be over. It would actually be a relief in the end, not having to see Dean again in anything but his terrible films. Castiel could pretend that Dean was an asshole and this longing he was feeling would soon disappear.
"No…no I didn't mean it like that Cas." Dean said sternly looking at Castiel with a hurt look in his eyes.
"In what other way could you mean it?" Castiel asked.
"Don't you…fuck…forget it." Dean muttered.
"Forget what exactly?" Castiel asked. If he thought that Dean was going to say what Castiel desperately wanted him to say then Dean needed to say it now.
"No…just forget it. I wasn't going to say anything." Dean said.
"Yes you were, why don't you just say it Dean?" Castiel said beseechingly.
"Because you clearly still think I'm just some arrogant movie star and that's probably the only you'll ever see me." Dean snapped surprising Castiel.
"I don't think that Dean, I don't think that at all. If anything I wish you were the conceited bastard I used to think you were because then this whole thing would be a lot easier! I wish you were a complete asshole and not this decent guy who read The freaking Great Gatsby just because I happened to say it was my favourite book! I wish you weren't funny and naïve to the good person you are! I wish you didn't like Vonnegut and I wish I didn't have to be so fucking sarcastic and insulting towards you at every opportunity because it is fucking exhausting!" Castiel yelled, his rage boiling over until it seared through his whole body.
"Then why do it? Why be so mocking towards me if it's so exhausting?" Dean asked sounding just as enraged as Castiel felt.
"Because it's less painful than the truth Dean!" Castiel admitted.
"And what's the truth Cas? Because I am dying to know it, I am dying to know why you feel the need to lie to me."
"I truth is that it's too easy to be nice to you, it's too easy to smile at you like you mean everything to me because it's starting to become true! I can't stop thinking about you and it is driving me insane Dean!"
"What?"
"I don't choose to love people Dean, I prefer being alone because then you don't get hurt but I…I couldn't even stop myself from choosing to love you…I need you…I need you to choose me back…" Castiel said and every emotion inside of Castiel drained from his body as he looked at Dean's shocked face. Dean's green eyes were full of confusion and Castiel's heart began to slam against its cage at a rapid speed. It was like he was being hit over and over again by traffic as the seconds slowly dragged on.
Dean's eyes were wide and as the seconds drew on Castiel's heart continued to slam against his chest and he could feel his stomach filling with acid. Dean needed to say something, anything, even if Dean completely rejected him.
"Dean…say something…please." Castiel begged. "Just say something…say anything…please" He added. Dean opened his mouth to say something and Castiel swore that at in moment his heart stopped.
Author's Note: I'm not entirely happy with this chapter but it's over 9,000 words and I just couldn't write anymore. I might go back when I've finished this story and edit the whole thing just in case. There is a cliff-hanger yes but I couldn't help myself. Plus points if you can tell me who invented the term cliff-hanger.
I'm always on tumblr so if you feel like leaving abuse over this fic on there then you can find me at .com
Castiel's road mix includes the likes of Mumford and Sons, Bastille, Johnny Cash, The Black Keys, Matthew and the Atlas, Kodaline and City and Colour because they are all awesome.
