This is meant to lead into an alternate draft of the Stratosphere/Jack Ketch chapters from "Fear and Loafing".

That evening, there were open festivities in the Buccaneer Bay tent city. Columbus shyly accepted a seat with the Lieutenant, though he squirmed at speech after speech of praise. After about half an hour, he stiffened in surprise as his wife stepped onto the deck and took the microphone.

"I'd like to tell you a little about my husband," she said. Columbus hunched his shoulders. "When you meet him, the first thing you're likely to think is, `Get some sun!' The next thing you think is, `He has the guts of a guppy.' But if you get to know him, you realize something: Courage isn't about how often you're afraid. It's about how often you let your fears stop you from doing what you want to do and need to do. And once you think about it that way, you realize: `This is the bravest man I have ever met.' "

The deputies gave a modest cheer. She then leaned forward and spoke directly to her husband, who looked increasingly like an agoraphobic turtle: "Columbus, the minute I realized that was when I knew I love you. Every day I wake up beside you, my first thought is, I'm the luckiest woman alive to be with you." He raised his head and managed a smile. "And... I'm proud to say.. I'm having your baby."

There was a moment of silence, then a rising chorus of cheers, whistles, whoops and risquee jokes. Columbus looked to be still smiling, but on close examination his expression was more like a grimace of terror. He was almost catatonic in the face of well-wishers surrounding him, even (if not especially) when Tal pulled him to his feet, hugged him, pounded his back and kissed him on each cheek for good measure. "Yup, she killed him," Little Rock said to no one in particular.

"Where is he?" Bruce demanded.

"We're trying to find out, so hold your horses!" said Tal. "Besides, aren't you ahead of schedule?"

"I know where they are," Little Rock said.

Bruce insisted on going with them. His personal vehicle was guaranteed to surprise and alarm anyone who saw it in their rear view mirror: It was a late-model VW Bus, cheerfully pastel yellow, augmented with the upper half of a Beetle in place of a roof. The sight was vaguely ghoulish, as if the Beetle were a trophy being worn like a leopardskin cape.

They found Tremors parked outside the house where Columbus had almost caught Andy Capp. "Hello?" Tal said, pounding on the door.

"Hold on a minute," Little Rock said, "Wichita made me a key." She fished a key chain out of her pocket and opened the door. Then, stepping inside, she shrieked. Tal drew his 1911 gun and went in after her. He beheld Columbus, stretched out on a couch in briefs and an unbuttoned shirt, obviously drunk.

"Hey," he said.

Little Rock crossed her arms and asked accusingly, "Where's Krista?"

"We're-" Columbus belched. "-Separated." Tal and Little Rock gaped.

"Hi. Why the long faces?" Krista stood just outside a hallway, wearing only a bathrobe.

"We talk," said Little Rock. "NOW." Turning a disgusted eye to her brother-in-law, she added, "And for * sake, put some pants on!"

"I don't see what there is to make a big deal about," Wichita said. She was sitting up on the bed, clasping her belly, while her sister perched on the edge. "I mean, we aren't breaking up, or divorcing, or anything. It's just, we decided we got into this too fast, and we didn't work some things out when we should have. So now we're backing up and giving each other some space for a while."

"Are you staying out of bed?" Little Rock asked disdainfully. Krista only laughed. After an awkward silence, Little Rock looked to her sister and added: "Is he mad?"

After a moment's thought, Wichita said, "No. I don't think so. Well... Not at me. It's just... we weren't ready for this so soon."

Little Rock rolled her eyes. "What were you expecting to happen?"

The door opened abruptly. It was Columbus, fully clothed and in sunglasses. "Let's go. Everybody. There's a place I've been wanting to go."