A/N: Is it really? Why yes, it is. Two chapters in one week. :O This is unprecedented. No, I haven't run into a bunch of free time. I'm suffering from a bad case of the insomnia. And I feel bad for abandoning this story for so long. So as a show of good faith that yes, I will indeed finish this bad boy, I'm cranking out as many chapters as I can…. That and as soon as I started working on this again, the plot bunnies began bouncing around like mad in my brain. They've been reproducing like crazy too. I sat in my cube today and came up with at least a dozen different things I could do with this. What'll happen? Who the hell knows. Not me, that's for sure. Stupid bunnies.
Stalking Shinomori
By The Muffin of Sleeplessness
Chapter 11:
Hooker Heels and Lipstick
Two hours and several struggles later, Misao was completely transformed.
"Magnifico!" Kamatari said, examining his work.
"Wow, just wow!" Kaoru gushed. "You're gorgeous!"
Misao blinked at herself in the mirror. "I dunno, I'm not so sure about this…" They had dressed her in a low cut blue sweater and a black mini skirt, and much to her feet's discomfort, knee length high heeled boots. Her long hair cascaded down her back in loose curls, and Kamatari had put on just enough makeup to make it noticeable that she was in fact wearing makeup. "I look like a hooker."
"You do not!" Kamatari gasped. "I did a wonderful job on you! You take that back now. Take it back!" He said, swatting at her arm.
"Ok! Ok! I'm sorry, I just don't look like me is what I meant to say."
"You're not supposed to 'just look like you.' You've been transformed, like a beautiful butterfly." He said, making a wide sweeping gesture with his hands. "Now you'll definitely get that man."
"What man?" Misao spluttered. "I'm not trying to get any man…."
"Stop lying to yourself!" Kamatari and Kaoru shouted at her in unison.
"Come on," Kaoru said opening the bathroom door, "Let's go show you to the others."
Kenshin, Megumi, and Sano had been waiting somewhat impatiently outside the women's bathroom for about half an hour.
Kaoru had demanded that Kenshin and Megumi meet them for Misao's 'unveiling'. Megumi had been genuinely interested to see what they would do with Misao, seeing as how she had played a part in her "transformation" and all.
Kenshin had shown up out of the love (and fear) he had for Kaoru.
And Sano had just kind of turned up, the way he always seemed to do whenever Megumi was around. He mostly came around to pick stupid fights with her, which is what they had been doing for the last half hour.
Kenshin let out a terrific sigh of relief as they had both decided they were no longer speaking to each other, ever.
'Ever' turned out to be too long to go without speaking for Sanosuke though, when he broke his vow of silence not even three minutes later. "God! They've been in there forever!" he outburst.
"You really have absolutely no concept of time, do you?" Megumi asked sarcastically.
"Woman!" He snapped, pointing towards the bathroom door, "Go in there and find out what's taking them so long."
Megumi rocked back like someone had punched her.
"Sano…" Kenshin started.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" Megumi ground out. "Ordering me around like that. I'm not your bitch-"
"GUYS!" Kenshin interjected desperately.
"I have half a mind to take this pointy-toed boot here," she said, moving like she was going to pull her shoe off, "And SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!"
"AHEM!" Kaoru cleared her throat loudly and all three of them turned to look at her with dazed expressions at her sudden appearance. Once she was sure she had their attention, she gestured dramatically towards the bathroom door and cried "BEHOLD!"
"No! No! I don't want to go out there!" Misao was saying, struggling against Kamatari who was pushing her out the door.
Kenshin stared in baffled silence at the 'transformation' that had taken place.
Megumi let out a delighted little gasp, raising a fist to her mouth as tears of pride welled in her eyes. "She looks-"
"Like a hooker." Sano said, cutting her off.
"Thank you!" Misao cried triumphantly, pointing an arm at Sano. "See?" she said to Kaoru accusingly. "I told you I looked like a hooker!"
Kaoru sighed. "You don't look like a- SHINOMORI!" She interrupted herself suddenly, shoving Misao back into the bathroom and closing the door.
"Hey!" Misao cried indignantly as she was suddenly shoved into the bathroom. She caught her balance awkwardly in the heels. She started to open the bathroom door, but it slammed shut and wouldn't budge. "HEY!" She roared, pounding on it. "HEY! Let me out! LET ME OUT! OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!" She cried, tugging on the handle with all her might. "I'M KICKING YOUR ASS FOR THIS!"
Outside, everyone watched confusedly as Kaoru shoved Misao back into the bathroom, and then held the door closed. They all turned to see what she was staring so transfixed at, and saw the tall handsome man approaching.
He paused by the bathroom to stare questioningly at the group clustered around the door.
It felt like he had been standing there for an eternity before Kenshin nervously said "Heeey Shinomori, what's up?"
"What's going on?" Aoshi asked, nodding towards the door Kaoru was struggling to keep closed.
"N….Nothing's going on." Kaoru said, trying to sound natural but failing miserably.
Aoshi continued to stare at the door as more muffled pounding and profanity poured from it. "You sure?" he asked.
"Positive." Megumi and Kamatari chimed in, answering all too suddenly.
"Uh-huh." He said, looking between them and the door a couple more times. His eyes swept across the group one last time before he gave them a bored look and continued on his way.
"Thank god." Kaoru sighed, letting go of the door handle and shaking out her wrists.
"ACK!" Misao cried as she crashed to the bathroom floor. She struggled to get back to her feet, and Megumi went to help her get up.
"Ouch." Misao moaned, rubbing her back as she hobbled out of the bathroom. "You!" She growled at Kaoru, sticking a finger in her face.
"Dear god!" Kamatari cried, frantically trying to smooth Misao's hair back into place. "It's a disaster!"
Misao blinked dazedly as the man continued desperately trying to fluff and fix her hair, and Megumi moved in with a compact to touch up her make up.
Late! She was going to be late, yet again. This time by no fault of her own, it had taken a while longer than expected for them to fix her hair and makeup. And then they'd realized no one had taught her how to walk in high heels. So here she was, making her way ever so slowly down the halls to class, holding on to Sano's arm for dear life.
"Sorry." She said sheepishly.
"For what?"
"For this. You're gonna be late to class."
"Don't sweat it." He said. "I didn't feel like going to class today anyway."
"Then…why'd you come to school at all?"
He shrugged. "I didn't have anywhere else to go."
"You're a strange man, Sano." Misao said, shaking her head.
"Like you can talk." He snorted. "I mean, look at you."
"What about me?" Misao asked dangerously.
"Well, look at what you're going through, all for some random guy. I'm jus' sayin it's not exactly normal."
"I know." She sighed. "I'm a sick, twisted person."
"At least you're willing to do anything to get what you want." He said, trying to cheer her up. "No matter how extreme. Even if you have to stalk a guy, or dress up like hooker."
"Gee, thanks." Misao said, rolling her eyes.
"Hey, I'm just trying to say at least you have a shot."
"A long one." Misao muttered.
"A shots a shot." Sano smiled. "And here we are." He said, stopping in front of her class's door. "You're on your own from here, kid."
Misao stared at the door as if it were death itself. "Ok." She resolved before slowly letting go of the death-grip she had on Sano's arm.
She wobbled a little as she tried to balance on the heels by herself, and he got ready to catch her if she fell again. But this time she didn't. She looked over her shoulder to grin at him, he gave her a thumbs up.
"Thanks, Sano."
"No problem," He said, giving her a hug. "And good luck."
"Yeah, I'm gonna need it." She sighed as she slipped into the classroom. "Lots of it." She whispered to herself.
There you have it, kids. I have so much more all ready to go in my head, but it's bed time for this slacker now. I've got the next chapter half formed in my mind, I'll try to get it up soon before I forget it all and whilst I still live somewhere that has the internets. I make no promises tho. It could take me another year to come up with the next chapter. Or, maybe I'll write it this weekend all half-drunk when I get back from that open bar wedding I'm going to. :D It's like a ghetto-ass version of Christmas, except nobody knows when it's going to get here, and instead of presents all you get is another shitty chapter. I'm really tired all of a sudden. Can you tell? Sweet dreams.
P.S. The plot bunnies eat reviews instead of carrots for food. They need them. Please, think of the bunnies.
