I lay back on my bed after Andre leaves. The pillow he was laying on still smells like his body wash. I bury my nose in it. I love him so much. I wonder if I could survive my life right now without him. Probably not. I probably would have found some horrible outlet for my pain like Trina did. She so on again off again. She would be regular self-centered Trina for a couple days, and then she would skip school and come home sloppy drunk. Being the helpful person I am I'm always the one that has to clean up her mess. Lying to people about where she was and why she was missing school. I have told her I'm not doing it anymore, that she has to stop. She says she will but when it happens again I'm there bailing her out. It's been a while since I've seen her drunk so either she is getting better at hiding it or she is trying to stop. I really hope it's the latter.
My mom has started working again. She's been seeing this therapist and is getting stronger every day. She wants me and Trina to see him to but I told her Andre was all the therapist I needed and Trina just flat out said no. Even with all her progress I still see mom stare off into nothingness with that same look of sadness I've seen so many times in the last couple months but it's usually over before I can blink. My dad has been wanting to see me. He wants me and Trina to be a part of our little brother's life. I really don't think I'm ready right now. He is just a reminder of why my dad left. It's not his fault he was born, not his fault at all but it's still hard. Maybe one day I'll come to terms with everything.
My stomach rumbles. I have not eaten since lunch. I get up and head downstairs to the kitchen. I rummage around the fridge until I find the left over pasta from last night's dinner. I put a plate of it in the microwave just as Trina is walks down stairs. I look at her. Her hair is curled just the way she likes it and she's wearing a really cute pair of jeans, along with her favorite blue top.
"Where are you going?" I ask.
"Out" she answers simply.
"Out where?"
"Out on a date."
"With?"
"Enough with the questions, you sound like mom."
I sigh "Trina I'm just worried about you that's all."
"Well no need to worry anymore."
"Why not?"
"Well I met this guy named peter and is so cute and sweet." she says with a dreamy tone in her voice. The only other time I've heard Trina use that tone is when she is talking about herself, so this guy must be serious.
"How long you known this guy?"
"About 3 months."
"Why am I just hearing about this guy?"
"I didn't want to jinx anything by bringing him here." I look at her smiling from ear to ear. More than I've seen her smile in a long time. She looked happy, I was happy for her.
"So when do I get to meet him?"
"I don't know, soon I hope. Now enough about my love life, what is going on with you and Andrew?"
"It's Andre and are doing just great except for..." should I tell Trina about my problem with Andre? I mean I had told Jade why not tell my own sister?
"Well Andre and I have been thinking about something for a while but I don't know if I'm ready for it." Trina moves to the couch and I follow suit.
"Ready for what?"
"Ready for umm…. You know what I mean." I hesitate.
"Oh come on and spit it out already." Trina says impatiently.
"Ready for sex." I blurt out.
"Well why don't do you think you're ready?"
"I don't know and that is the problem. Andre does everything right. He is the perfect gentleman. I love him and I trust him but I just can't bring myself to the point where I'm ready mentally. Physically I want him in every way possible."
"Listen little sis, sex is amazing. With me and peter I never felt like this before he just made everything feel so right. No other guy has made me feel the way he does. Well there was Kyle. He was close but I think I was with him because he had a great body. His abs were like a gods. I used to love licking-"
"Trina!"
"What?"
"Can we please focus on me and my problems instead of what's his name and places you have licked on him?"
"Oh yea I was going to say is Aiden is-"
"Andre!"
"Andre is a cute guy and he is talented so it's not like girls don't check him out. Lack of sex drives people crazy. If you don't say yes some girl will."
"He told me he is willing to wait until I'm ready."
"No one wants to wait forever Tori. A person can only hear no so many times before they give up." Just as I'm about to respond Trina's phone goes off in her hand.
"It's Peter!" The microwave beeps so I get up to go retrieve my food. Trina gets up and starts to upstairs.
"Peter says he'll be here in five minutes and I'm not even ready, thanks to you and your problems. I still have to get dressed. Thanks a lot Tori."
"Wait what? You asked me about Andre and I think you look great."
"I know. I look good in everything I wear." She says as she dashes up the stairs.
Same old Trina I think as I sit down on the couch with my food. I can't help but think about what Trina said.
Would I ever be ready? Andre has only been a gentleman. He doesn't push or pressure me like any of the other guys I've gone out with did. He was just this wonderful that guy that was always himself and wanted me to be nothing less than the same. I began to eat my dinner and my phone rings. I look at the caller ID before answering it.
"What's up Cat?"
"The ceiling silly!" Cat says giggling in her high pitched shrill voice.
"Cat I am well aware that the ceiling is up. I was just-, never mind. What's on your mind?"
"Well I was with my brother watching the Little Mermaid and I said "I want to swim like that so I can go meet Sebastian and Flounder and all the other sea creatures." Wouldn't that be great Tori! Under the sea, under the sea, darling it's bet-"
"Cat!" I say cutting her off. I loved the girl but she got sidetracked so incredibly easy.
"Oh yea." She says giggling. "Sorry Tori but my brother told me that if I wanted to swim like them I all I had to do was fill the bathtub and put my head under until I grew gills. Then I could swim all day."
"Cat, that's not true. Remember what I told you about listening to your brother."
"I know that's why I called you. I wanted to ask first. He is not always wrong ya know."
"When was he ever right?"
"Well there was that one time when he told me that it was going to rain ice cream."
"That's because he stole an ice cream truck and dumped all the ice cream off a bridge."
"Yea but it did happen. Sprinkles everywhere."
"You got me there but please don't believe anything he can't prove to you first. Ok?"
"Kay Kay!" I hear some yelling coming for Cat's line. "Coming mommie!"
"Tori I have to go, time for dinner. We're having Jell-O for dessert. I like to watch it wiggle around before I eat it. I'm like "I'm going to eat you" and it's all like "No! Wiggle away!" but it doesn't go anywhere.
"Uh ok. Well bye Cat. I'll see you on Monday and remember sitting under water will not give you gills.
"I remember. See you Monday."
I hear the line click and I end the call. I pick up my plate beginning my rapidly cooling pasta again. Just as I start enjoying my food my phone vibrates again. I pick it up from the coffee table. It's a notification from The Slap. One new photo comment. I usually just ignore these things because a lot of them are just people commenting on pictures I have been slapped in but for some reason tonight I follow the link to a picture that Robbie had posted months ago. The picture was of Andre standing making a heart with his hands and if you look through the heart and over his shoulder I'm there at my locker. I had no idea that Robbie had even taken the photo until Andre called me after school and told me to look. I think it is just the sweetest thing.
I scroll the page and read some previous comments.
Jade: You guys make me want to vomit. Well really not the rest of you just Vega.
Jade: Oh and Robbie too.
Beck: Babe be nice. The two of you look nice.
Robbie: Hey, What did I do?
Jade: You exist.
Same old Jade, I scroll down to the latest comments. Most of them are somewhere along the lines of "Aww that so cute." "I wish my boyfriend would do stuff like this." The last couple really caught attention. "Andre is so sexy, I think we would make a cute couple." "Yeah, he is just adorable."
My mind automatically jumps back to what Trina said. "If you don't someone else will."
I know other girls look at Andre, even when were together I see girls look. The same way guys check me out. We never pay them much attention, we were truly in love.
I go over to The Slap's main page needing to get these confusing thoughts out of my head for just a few minutes. Just as the page opens Andre's newly posted status comes up.
Andre's newest update: Just got done working on some music with Jade. It was interesting; I need my baby to get back on track.
What did he mean by interesting? What about back on track? What happened at Jade's house? Why am I freaking out? Calm down Tori. Anybody who has to spend more than five minutes with Jade has all the right in the world to be off track but something in the back of mind starts to nag at me. I need to talk to him like now. As soon as I think this Andre's ringtone starts to play. I answer it quickly.
"Hey sweetheart, how was your battle with the dragon?"
"Everything went fine. What did you do after I left?"
I looked down at my now cold food. "I made several attempts to eat something but never really got around to it."
"Oh really well you should come over I'll go get some sushi or something."
"I don't know I'm still kind of tired."
"Please baby I really want to see you tonight."
He sounded so cute. I was going to say yes but I just felt the need to tease him a bit more. "I still don't think your putting up a convincing argument" I say in a teasing tone.
"How about this, you come over we eat and then I'll give you a nice massage. After that we'll go to my room and cuddle and talk all night long or you could just fall asleep in my arm. I just want to be close to you that's all."
"You had me at you should come over but the food, massage, and cuddling will be greatly appreciated. I can be there in let's say twenty minutes."
"That's fine I should be back with the food by then."
"I'll see you in a bit then."
"Until then beautiful. I love you."
"I love you too."
I hang up and pick up my plate, take it in the kitchen and get rid of the uneaten food. I take it over to the sink and start to wash it. I love how Andre does such sweet little things for me just to see me smile. Just as I start to rinse the plate I hear Trina come down stairs.
"Tori, I'm leaving."
"Ok, see you tomorrow."
"Well aren't you gonna look at me?"
"Why?" I answer simply. I feel her hand on my shoulder.
" Because I'm wearing these!" She says as she spins me around. She sticks her foot out. "The new Fuzzini boots."
"Don't those things cost like $800?"
"Yep, Peter got them for me. Aren't they faboo?"
"They are cute but where did Peter get that kind of money?" I ask wondering where a teenaged boy would get that kind of money.
"He has a job."
"Well which burger joint he working at that he can afford $800 shoes? Even I'll apply there." She looks at me like she is contemplating something in her mind.
"If I tell you something will you promise not to tell mom or dad?"
"Of course." I say sensing the seriousness in her voice.
"Peter is 36." She says timidly.
"Trina! That guy is old enough to be your dad!"
"I know that ok, but I trust him. I seriously think I might love him."
There it is again, that same look of admiration. I knew she was serious and there was nothing I could about it.
"If you really think that this Peter guy is worth it, go for it. Just promise me you'll be careful."
"I will and thanks Tor. Now what do you mean by you will see me tomorrow?"
"I'm going to stay with Andre tonight."
"I see my pep talk from earlier got you thinking. Are you finally gonna lose the big V?"
"Can we please not talk about my sex life again?"
"What sex life? Last time I checked there was no sex going on in your department."
"That is not true, we do things."
"Trust me little sis that works for a while but only for a while. No one is going to wait forever." A car horn blows outside. "That's Peter, gotta run."
With that Trina runs out the door. I sigh and put the plate away, suddenly feeling under so much pressure. Why does it seem like the whole world wants me to have sex? Why is it that one little word can change the outcome of a lot of things in my life. All I have to do is tell Andre yes and major amount of stress will be gone.
I know he loves me and I love him, and despite everything that has happened I trust him. I know he would never cheat but Trina's warning keeps floating through my mind. I head upstairs to pack my bag. After all these no's maybe tonight Mr. Harris will hear a yes.
Thanks to all the people who wanted to see this continued. You have no idea what that means to me. I know I said Wednesday but I seriously revised this chapter about 6 or 7 times. I still not 100% about it but I think I did the story justice. I reread the story to get me back in the mindset and noticed some errors but I fixed them. Once again thanks for your feedback. Now you have to tell me what you think about this one. It currently 1:05am and I have class in the morning so bye bye for now.~nerdyatheart
