"Please, Daddy! I'll clean my room, I'll finish all my schoolwork for the entire week ahead of time! I… I'll pack a lunch for all of us!" Kaede begged. "Daddy, they built a new tower where the princess is supposed to live, and they said she even serves tea at the top of the white castle!"
"Kaede," Kotetsu sighed, bringing his head down to his hands. His daughter wanted to go to a theme park just outside of Sternbild City, and she'd been bothering him relentlessly for weeks. He just didn't have the energy lately—his mother had even commented on how long he would stay in bed every day. "Ask Barnaby," he finally said without looking up. "I'm going back to bed."
Kaede stood back, confused, as her father slowly stood up and ambled to his room, falling face-first on the bed without bothering to shut the door. She turned to go find Barnaby—probably out in the garden helping her grandmother—and heard the clinking of a bottle of alcohol against a tumbler. Kaede clapped her hands over her ears and ran to the garden.
Barnaby looked up. "Kaede, what's wrong?" he said, seeing her distressed face.
"It's Dad! He…"
Barnaby finished tamping the soil around a newly planted sprout and rose to his feet seriously. "Help your grandmother finish planting this row, sweetheart," he instructed, leaning down to kiss her cheek as he swooped into the house, making his way to the bedroom. He snatched the bottle out of Kotetsu's hand, noting the broken glass on the floor.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted. Kotetsu ducked his head and stared at the floor. "You can't keep this up, Kotetsu," Barnaby continued in a softer voice. "You're killing yourself. Can you even see what you're doing to Kaede? And to me?" He dropped to his knees and tried to lift his partner's chin so he could look him in the eyes, but Kotetsu pulled away.
"Just leave me alone," he muttered. "Take the rum if you must, but go away."
Barnaby got up, closed the door, and returned to sit on the bed, staring at the wall instead of at Kotetsu. "I'm not leaving until we figure something out," he said. Kotetsu groaned and leaned on his side until his face was buried in a pillow. Barnaby laid down beside him, wrapping an arm around Kotetsu's chest and pressing his forehead against's Kotetsu's back, listening to him breathe and feeling his heartbeat.
"Get off," Kotetsu whispered despondently. "You're wasting your time." He sniffed loudly; Barnaby guessed he was crying.
"Kotetsu, please. You haven't been yourself in ages. Tell me what's wrong," Barnaby pleaded. "Even if I can't help, I'll find someone who can."
"Nobody can help me." He felt Kotetsu shift slightly, reaching for something, and then a hard object landed on Barnaby's head. He pulled away from Kotetsu just enough so that he could pick it up: it was a framed photograph of Tomoe. Of course. The anniversary of Tomoe's death was quickly approaching. Barnaby knew it was only two days away and had suspected that Kotetsu's rapidly declining mood had been related to the date. He had always been sad every year around this time, but now it was the first time since Tomoe's death that he had been remarried.
"Kotetsu, please talk to me." Kotetsu rolled onto his stomach, letting out a muffled sob into the pillow. "Do you really want me to leave?" Barnaby said, and his voice was very small. They had worked through Kotetsu's concern over betraying his wife, but it hadn't been easy. Apparently, being married had reopened the wound to a profound degree.
Kotetsu lifted his face just enough peek over the pillow. "Bunny," he whimpered.
Barnaby's heart twisted painfully, and he placed a hand on Kotetsu's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. "I'm here, Kotetsu. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried," he joked weakly. Kotetsu braved the tiniest of smiles as tears streamed from his eyes and over Barnaby's fingers.
"Come here," Barnaby crooned, pulling Kotetsu up and cradling him to his chest. "It will be okay," he promised. "We've been here before. We know everything works out in the end." He let Kotetsu clutch him around the waist and cry, repeating his promise over and over that he would never leave.
After about half an hour, Kotetsu had calmed down enough to be able to talk. "I'll call Dr. Tam first thing in the morning," Barnaby said. Dr. Tam was the psychiatrist they had been to see before, and given Kotetsu's general inability to share personal details of his life, they had to choose someone who was already familiar with him.
"Okay," Kotetsu agreed sullenly. "I really thought this was over." He took a deep breath and leaned his head on Barnaby's shoulder, who pushed Kotetsu's hair out of his eyes.
"It will be. Soon." Barnaby promised yet again. "And then we can take Kaede to that amusement park to celebrate," he added, trying to create some sort of incentive to give Kotetsu hope. There was a long silence.
"I can't wait."
