Max sat in her arms and gazed up at her in rapt attention and couldn't even focus enough to eat his breakfast. It would have been hilarious if she weren't so terrified. The first time Ava held him it probably didn't register as a huge event for the boy who was used to being passed around to adoring fans. In the hospital ten nurses gushing over how beautiful he was a slow night. But the boy had gotten used to falling asleep and waking up in the arms of his grandmother so when Ava bundled him up and held a bottle to his mouth it was sort of a shock.

Ava held her breath and tensed her body in anticipation of his piercing scream. Of course he wouldn't want her and why should he? She'd thrown him away like a bloodied rag so why would he want her. So when the wail didn't emerge and he simply reached an impossibly tiny hand forward and grabbed at her face and began eating she let the tension filled breath go. She was so focused on his reaction that she missed the sounds of the suite door opening. Turning around she saw her mother standing in the doorway still dressed in her night gown looking at them both fondly. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude but I thought I heard him waking up"

"It's fine mom. He just got up and he's eating like we've been starving him for days" Ava laughed.

"He always does that" Olivia said as she moved further into the room but still fairly close to the door.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I didn't plan on breastfeeding" Ava said as she turned back towards her son and stroked his cheek.

Getting off the sofa Olivia responded "I guess. I'll leave you two then" and made as if to go but when she reached the door she turned back towards her family with an after thought said "I'm so glad that you're home Ava and I'm so happy that you decided to move in with me even if it is for a little while" as tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

"We're happy to be here" and watched her mother walk out the door but before it closed shut she added "Did you want to hold him mom?" and watched as an open smile came to her mother's face.

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not" Ava responded as she gently slid the boy in her mother's arms. "Too bad I don't have a camera"

"Actually I've made appointments for the four of us to get some pictures taken next week. You can even ask Jeffery to drop by and get in some if you want"

"Are you sure?"

"I don't think I'll want one of him on my desk but no I don't mind. I know how much he means to you. To you both" Ava stepped back and watched her mother holding her son and was struck by how natural and right it all seemed. Less than five years ago she'd only had Crystal for family and was completely content with that and would have been for the rest of her life. But with in an instant a drunk driver had taken everything away and for a while she'd been so broken she didn't think she'd ever fully recover. Yet now to be there with Olivia opening not only her home but also her heart and family to her was nothing short of a miracle. They hated each other and Olivia had even hired a hit man to kill her but here they were. It was genuine but sometimes Ava had a hard time believing that it had ever been any other way. Her mother created a space in her life after everything that happened and it still blew her away. "You don't have to do that mom"

"Don't worry about it" Olivia responded without looking up from Max dismissing even the idea that she would risk injuring her daughter for even her own private fears. "This reminds me of taking care of Emma when she was a baby" and then she looked up towards Ava and cleared her throat before continuing "and it helps me to imagine how it would have been between us if things had been different"

"Mom don't" Ava said turning away and moving into the restroom. Ava couldn't even fathom how it would feel to be sixteen years old pregnant and alone. Without the beloved father who died years ago or even the a mother who used religion to hold you at a distance. When she first learned about their relationship Ava had spent many nights trying to imagine how it would feel to carry that burden for nine months looking forward to the birth pains as the only means of separation from a silent shame. There were nights she cried herself to sleep and could almost understand the pain that kept her mother locked in anger and rage. Only the fear of becoming just like Olivia made it possible that Ava could forgive her and finally make peace that Olivia would never love or accept her. It was funny because the moment she stopped demanding love and acknowledgement was just the thing that brought Olivia to her but never did she think they would be here. Never did she expect Olivia to love her or need her. That was way more than she'd even dreamed of. So to hear Olivia trying to pretend even for her, especially for her, that her pregnancy was anything short of a living hell was too much. Olivia had already done too much and Ava wasn't sure she'd live long enough to deserve it all.

"Ava what's wrong?" Olivia asked as she hugged Ava from behind. "Did I do something?"

"Mom how" Ava asked pulling away and shaking her head as tears streamed down her face.

Olivia asked "Baby please tell me what's going on? If I did something to upset you" as she moved in front of Ava and took her daughter's face in both her hands and bent Ava's head down to her own worried face. "Ava?" Hearing the panicked fear creeping in the usually stoic woman's voice left Ava even less able to respond . She yanked her face away and took Olivia in her arms and wept into her mother's neck. "Baby? It's okay Ava. Whatever it is I promise it's going to be okay. I'll do whatever it takes to make it okay sweetie" taking in Olivia's warmth Ava felt her body begin to relax and the tears began to slow and then stop. "Can you tell me what's going on?"

"I'm sorry for scaring you mom" Ava mumbled as Olivia walked them back into the bedroom. "It's just I know how scary it was for you when you were pregnant with me. I know how horrible it must have been to go through all that and then have to do it while taking care of your sister and brother alone." Ava explained with her head bowed unable to meet her mother's steady gaze.

"Ava"

"No mom you don't pretend for me and I'm sorry that I was such a selfish pig for so long"

"What are you talking about? Where is all of this coming from?"

"Me. From the moment that you told me you were my mother all I did was come up with all these childish and stupid demands"

"Ava I really don't understand why you're getting so upset. I'm going to call Dr Martin"

"Mom, I should have never demanded that you make peace with Jeffery and I should have never kept trying to recreate the Ava edition of Parent Trap. You deserved better than that and I'm sorry" Ava knew that she'd totally caught her mother off guard by the way her mother kept opening and closing her mouth without any words coming. "I'm not saying that I'm going to cut dad out of my life or anything but I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me and I'm sorry I didn't always understand that" They sat together in silence for several minutes wrapped in each other's arms watching Max playing with her toes and fighting sleep. Eventually his head dipped one final time and as soon as it did Emma bounced into the room and it popped right back up and his watery smile signaled that the power nap was officially over.

Olivia and Natalia watched Max while Ava had her first visit with her new therapist. She knew that it wouldn't be the same as with Dr Martin and she supposed she ought to give the woman a chance. It had originally been a ninety minute session but the moment she'd walked in the office she'd known it was a mistake. The other woman was nothing like Dr Martin and Ava couldn't force herself to fake it for more than an hour. It was no use because it just didn't work if it wasn't with Diane and it never would Ava said as she drove away. By the time she'd hit the highway she'd called the Chicago clinic and asked for her old doctor but had hung up before the woman got to the phone. What was she going to say? I miss you? I miss spilling my guts to your blue eyes? Yeah like she hasn't heard that a million times Ava groused to herself as she drove way. "Pull your head out of your ass Ava! She probably hasn't thought about you once" Ava repeated to herself over and over hoping to convince her aching heart to forget its misery.

She was on her way to her mother's office when a hand reached out and twirled her around. Her fist was balled ready to connect with the asshole who touched her before she stopped and saw Remy's beautiful smile. "Remy!" she laughed as she jumped into his arms and let him spin them both around in her mother's lobby. When they finally made it to the hotel's restaurant her sad and lonely feelings were almost gone and the smile on her face was almost real. Why couldn't she be smart enough to fall in love with someone like Remy? Why did she always run after the mirages insisting at the top of her lungs that they were real and only a few steps away. I will never learn she thought to herself as she listened to him go on and on about their son. Bill had loved Max and probably still did but for him the boy was a representation of all the things he wanted to claim and take as his own. As much as he loved the boy Max was just a living extension of Bill's agenda but for Remy the baby was all he'd wanted or needed. Max didn't have to do anything but be his son and Ava finally realized how she'd gotten something right. Remy would be the father that her son deserved even if she was too stupid to realize it at first. They talked more about the boy and arranged for visitations before the man practically floated off wrapped in joy. Fatherhood made him even more handsome she thought with a laugh as she walked towards their son.

Later that night as she watched her son sleeping and heard her mother and Natalia laughing through the adjoining door Ava pulled out her phone again and thought about the woman she'd left behind. "You are so stupid. Jesus, she was your shrink Ava she gets paid to pretend to like you. Christ what a dumbass" she said again below her breath trying to sway her wandering thoughts away from the other woman. She took the phone and almost turned it off completely to rid herself of the temptation when it rang in her hands. Max began to stir as she rushed to answer the phone "Yes?"

"Ava?"

Shit "Diane? I mean Dr Martin?" Ava thought in wonder.

"How are you and Max? I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time?"

"No" Ava said still in shock before she moved into the bathroom to figure this out. Maybe I should have wished for a million dollars. "We're fine. No you didn't call at a bad time. Is something wrong?" Maybe she feels the same way? Nah.

"I'm glad that everything is going well for you at home. I won't keep you long but I was wondering how your meeting with Dr Richards went today"

Oh of course. "So that's psycho babble for you already know how it went because Dr Blabbermouth already tattled on me. You just want me to tell you why"

She heard the other woman's soft laugh "Okay if that makes it easier for you" and felt her heart break a little bit more. Ava spent an hour trying to verbalize why she couldn't talk to a woman that reminded her so much of Diane but wasn't. The words kept raising to her tongue but she kept swallowing them back down. Last year she'd almost lost her sanity trying to make someone love her that couldn't. She wasn't going to do that again. There was too much to lose and her heart was just the least of it. So she listened and held her heart and hopes tight and kept telling herself these feelings would soon be over. In a few weeks it'll be over Ava said as she held back the tears.