A/N: Thank you all so much for your kind reviews for the last chapter. I'm really enjoying writing this combination of past and future.
Amy balanced a basket of homemade dinner rolls in one hand and knocked on her mother's door with the other as Sheldon and Leah waited behind her patiently.
Mrs. Fowler opened the door wearing the same floral print apron Amy remembered from her childhood. "Come in, come in! You're right on time." She stepped aside as the trio squeezed past her.
"Hi, Mom."
"Hello, Joan."
Leah flung herself at the older woman. "Grandma!"
Joan awkwardly reached down and patted her granddaughter on the back. "My you've grown! I guess I'm noticing because it's been so long since you've come over, not since August, if I remember correctly. It's not like I live all the way in Texas," she said pointedly to her daughter and son-in-law.
Amy decided to ignore her mother's jab. "Sorry, Mom. We've been busy." She set the basket on the table and examined the spread. "This all looks so good. You've really outdone yourself. You even used the good china."
"I wanted everything to be perfect for my family. Please sit."
Everyone settled around the little round table, with Amy seated between her husband and daughter and across from her mother. At Joan's insistence, Sheldon carved the turkey while Amy began helping herself and Leah to salad and potatoes.
"Eat up or I'll be eating turkey for a month. I bought the smallest one I could find, and it's still much too big."
Leah selected a large chunk of white meat turkey while Amy held the platter.
"Monkey, that's a pretty big piece. Are you sure you can eat all that?" Amy asked, surveying her plate.
"I don't want Grandma to eat nothing but turkey all month. That would be boring."
"You didn't think eating pizza every day would be boring."
"Mommy, that was months ago. I'm not seven anymore."
"You fed your daughter pizza every day? Growing children need a variety of healthy foods. I thought I raised you better than that." Amy internally seethed but said nothing.
"Actually, we didn't take Leah up on her suggestion. Pizza is reserved for Thursdays." Sheldon remarked.
"I had pizza at my sleepover. That was a Saturday." Leah reminded him.
"Okay, Thursdays and special occasions," he amended.
When everyone's plate was loaded, Mrs. Fowler turned to her granddaughter. "How was the aquarium?"
"I got to hold a sea star! I wanted to pet the sharks, but Daddy was too scared."
"That's probably wise. You wouldn't want to lose a hand."
"She would have been fine, Mom."
"I'm with Sheldon on this one. After all you went through with your pregnancy, I'm surprised you wouldn't want to be more protective."
Amy bit back a response, mentally counting to ten. Her relationship with her mother had improved significantly over the years, but old patterns died hard. She triple squeezed her husband's hand under the table.
"So, Joan, how was Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Florence's yesterday?"
Amy breathed a silent sigh of relief. She could always count on Sheldon to steer the conversation away when she gave him the signal. She felt bad for him when her mom droned on and on about the dry turkey her incompetent sister roasted and could almost see the wheels in his head turning, probably solving intricate equations to avoid the incessant chatter, though he would nod politely at random intervals.
After dinner and pumpkin pie, Mrs. Fowler led them to the living room. Leah's eyes followed Amy's to the living room closet. She noted her mom's almost imperceptible shudder before she took a seat on the couch, her back to the closet.
Sheldon sat next to Amy in his spot, and Joan settled into one of the two adjacent rocking chairs. Leah chose to sit in the other rocker rather than her usual spot on the couch. The angle allowed her a peripheral view of the closet doors, which she studied intently as she rocked slowly. Was this the infamous sin closet?
When the adults were deep in conversation, Leah halted the rocking motion and quietly stood. If anyone noticed, they didn't show any indication. She cautiously crept in her stocking feet towards the slatted pine double doors. She tried peeking through the slats and the keyhole but saw nothing. Glancing towards the couch, she noted her parents' backs were still facing the closet, and Grandma Joan didn't appear to be paying attention, so she carefully pulled one of the knobs.
Leah's eyes wandered over the contents. It certainly didn't look intimidating - just some old coats and a large unmarked plastic storage container. The shelf above held another smaller storage container labeled 'tools'. She cautiously stepped over the threshold. While the space wasn't cramped, it also didn't appear very spacious. Using her feet and arms, she measured the square footage.
Amy noted the empty rocking chair. "Where's Leah?" She stood and scanned the room, the color draining from her face when her eyes connected with her daughter's, as her head poked out from inside the sin closet. "Leah Marie Cooper, get back over here! You shouldn't be snooping in Grandma's house."
"I was curious."
"It's okay. There's nothing special in there, just some old coats," Joan reassured the little girl. "I apologize for the musty smell. That closet hasn't been used much since your mom moved out."
When Amy swayed, Sheldon jumped up and held onto her waist to steady her. She grabbed onto his arm as if her life depended on it. Leah watched the scene unfold then took another cursory glance in the closet before closing the door.
"Are you okay?" He whispered. "We can go if you want. I'll make up an excuse."
She nodded slightly. "I think that would be best."
Sheldon caught his mother-in-law's attention. "Thank you, Joan, for the delicious meal. We'd better get going."
Joan frowned. "Already? You haven't even been here two hours."
"We're house sitting for our friends who are visiting her family in Nebraska and need to double check the locks."
"I'm sure another hour wouldn't make a difference."
"Actually it might. Did you know that a burglary takes place every 18 seconds in the US?" Sheldon asked. Amy rewarded him with a tiny smile.
Joan pushed herself up out of her chair and followed the trio to the back door. Leah shrugged into her jacket then wrapped her arms around her grandma. Amy bid her mother a curt goodbye and ushered her daughter out the door. Sheldon accepted the Tupperware container filled with turkey Joan offered before joining his family at the car.
"Don't be strangers. I'd love for you to stop by more often," Joan called after them.
Amy sat ramrod straight in the driver's seat, squeezing the steering wheel until her knuckles were white as they barreled down CA-134 E.
Sheldon peered at the speedometer. "Amy, slow down! We're going 17 miles over the speed limit." He gripped the door handle, his knuckles just as white as his wife's, until her foot eased up on the gas pedal.
"Sorry. I'm just..." She checked on her daughter on the rearview mirror. Leah peered back at her, watching them both intently. "Sorry."
"Mommy?"
Sheldon twisted his neck around to face his daughter. "Leah, Mommy needs to concentrate on driving right now. It might be best if you work on your crossword book."
Leah opened her mouth to argue but quickly shut it when the car sped up again, and her dad turned his attention back to the speedometer.
xxx
After tucking Leah into bed, Amy took care of her nighttime ablutions then huddled under the blanket in the fetal position facing the wall on her side of the bed. Sheldon changed into his Friday pajamas before joining her.
"Amy, it's only 8:30. You're not sick, are you?"
"How does it still have that effect on me? It's been 27 years since I've seen the inside of that closet. When I saw Leah in there, it was déjà vu, like looking at a ghost of my former self. All my old memories came flooding back."
"What can I do to make you feel better?"
"Just hold me."
Sheldon spooned her from behind, pulling her tightly to him. "You're shaking." He ran his hand along her arm soothingly for several minutes, but the shaking didn't subside.
She twisted around to face him. "Do you know what makes it even worse? I don't think my mother even noticed how rattled I was, and she had the audacity to question my parenting skills? I know I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my hardest to give Leah the best childhood possible."
Sheldon used his thumb to wipe away the single tear that slithered down her cheek. "You're a very good mother, much better than your mother was to you. There's no comparison."
"Thanks, Sheldon. I don't know what I'd do without you," she sniffled.
They lay wrapped in each other's arms silently for several minutes, her head resting on his chest. "Sheldon? Leah never expressed an interest in that closet before. When was the first time she mentioned the sin closet to you?"
"October 27. She and I had just returned from an evening at the comic book store with Leonard, Cadence, and Dylan."
"So two months after we last visited my mom. We know she heard the words from Penny, but how did she know exactly which closet it was or that it was even a physical space and not just a metaphor for something?"
"Maybe it was just a lucky guess, or maybe Penny said something to indicate its location."
"I did tell her and Bernadette it faced the TV." She sighed. "I probably shouldn't tell them as much as I do, but it's just so nice having friends to share my secrets with."
"You have me."
"I do have you, and every day I'm thankful that you came into my life." She pressed her lips gently to his.
He returned the kiss then touched his forehead to hers before pulling back slightly. "You probably don't want to hear this now, but I think we need to tell Leah about the sin closet."
Her eyes widened. "I'm not ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready."
"We can't keep it from her forever. If she doesn't hear it from us, she'll come to her own conclusions. Children's minds conjure up all sorts of irrational fears."
"I know. I just need some time to calm down and think about the best way to present it."
"Do you need anything? Water perhaps?"
"No, but thank you. I just want to get some sleep."
"I'm not tired yet, but I don't want to leave you alone."
"I'll be okay. Go ahead and get up."
"I'll be in the library reading. I shouldn't be too long." He kissed her forehead then disentangled his limbs from hers.
Leah waited until she heard her dad's footsteps pass her room then dug her mom's first diary out from under her mattress. She found her place and began reading the next entry, hoping to find some information about the closet.
January 28, 1991
Today was my first day back at school since my new look. The first thing Stacey did when I took my seat next to her was tell me that now my face matches my personality. She rounded up some of the other kids into chanting 'nerd' and 'four eyes' over and over until Mrs. O'Brien finally shushed them.
Recess was worse than usual. I've been begging the teachers to allow me to use the time to read in the library, but they always refuse. I just end up spending the time reading by the jacaranda tree anyway, so I don't understand their rationale. Some of my classmates used their new dodgeball skills to hit me in the face. I had to raise my book as a shield. If Mother thought I'd bend my glasses just by twirling them, I can only imagine what she'd think if they were smashed by a ball. Stacey sauntered up to me with her posse. Janelle ripped the book from my hands and threw it in a puddle while Amber tried to pull the glasses off my face. They raced off when the bell rang. I picked up my soaked book and wrung it out as best as I could. I have to figure out a way to pay the library back. I can't tell Mother about this. She'll be furious.
Leah skimmed through the next couple of entries. No mention of the sin closet. Not ready to give up, her eyes roamed over the following day's record. The words 'sin closet' nearly jumped off the page. She snuggled under her comforter and started from the beginning.
February 1, 1991
Today was one of the worst days of my life. I actually thought things were going my way for once. A pipe burst in the gym, so we got library time instead. Stacey and I handed in our science fair project. I'm relived to go back to my seat and away from her bullying on Monday. Mother worked late again to pay for my eye exam. To say I was excited for some companionship from Jillian is an understatement. She brought her...
A blood-curdling scream shattered the near silence. Leah tossed the diary on her bed and raced out her bedroom door, almost colliding with her dad.
