After making sure there was nothing else in Margaret's new lodgings that was going to crash to the ground or fall away beneath their feet, John bid the two women good day. Briskly, he made his way across town to call on Latimer. It was a visit that was overdue; there was nobody quite as good at managing money as him, though his fondness of speculation was not to John's liking. However, he had a good mind and a cunning one at that.
He knocked on the door and was shown to the man's study. John knocked on the closed door, taking a deep breath. He had never been nervous speaking with people in the past; when it came to business, he could talk to anyone for any amount of time. It was a skill that was invaluable. However, small talk was not something he enjoyed, and awkward matters such as this were even more loathsome.
The door opened, and Latimer ushered him in.
"John. I was wondering when I'd see you. I hear the mill is reopening, that was a surprise. I'd expected to see you before now, but here you are. How have you managed it so quickly?"
He poured them both a brandy; it was a little early in the day for John, but he took it. Perhaps it would help him deal with the matter a little more eloquently. If not, perhaps it would help him forget the whole thing.
"A new investor." John said.
"Miss Hale, by any chance?"
"How did you know?"
"Bell told me of his financial plans for Margaret. I know how she involved herself in the lives of your workers so it does not surprise me that she'd use her newfound wealth to provide them with work again. You are a reliable master, easier to support you in reopening than find a new tenant for the place. I saw her a few days ago, not far from Marlborough Mills and I put the pieces together. Did she tell you she saw me?"
"Aye, she did." John replied. The look on Latimer's face told him that the man already knew there was more going on between the pair of them than a mere business deal. John steeled himself.
"I've heard on the wind that congratulations are due to the pair of you. It's all Milton can talk about."
"We've hardly told anyone." John said. "I'm surprised you've heard."
Latimer laughed.
"You have servants, don't you? You may as well hire a town cryer." Latimer said with a shrug. "My wife told me yesterday evening. Ann too."
"We've been away down in London, sorting things out with her family and I've been there on business. I did not think that the news of our engagement would spread so fast."
"There is always gossip, and it tends to spread to the womenfolk remarkably quickly. I won't pretend I wasn't a little surprised. I had always been under the impression you and Miss Hale did not get on." Latimer gestured for John to sit, and he did so.
"She challenges me." John said simply; he did not wish to discuss the intricacies of his feelings for Margaret with a man like Latimer. "I need to apologise to you."
"Not to me, Thornton. You owe me nothing. Ann, however- I will not pretend she was not taken aback by the news. She told me she was under the impression you did not wish to enter any marriage."
John knew the truth; that he had desperately wanted to be married, but had been so bitterly rejected that the idea of falling in love with anyone else was unthinkable.
"I did not think that I did." John said He took a drink of brandy, though it was more of a large gulp and most of the glass was finished."It was not my intention to damage Ann's reputation."
"Are you implying you did something that would cause it damage?" Latimer asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Of course not. I just mean - stepping out with her, I did not mean for it to appear like I had any intentions-"
Latimer cleared his throat, cutting John off. John was glad of it, he was not sure what he would say next or how he would explain his apparent sudden change of heart.
"Save it. There is no harm done, Ann will survive. I know she has an impeccable character." Latimer said pointedly.
John had to bite his tongue; to him, Latimer's comment sounded an implication that the woman John was marrying did not have an impeccable character. His hands clenched involuntarily, but he decided the subject was not worth pursuing.
They settled down to discuss business, John running through the basic outline of the loan and his plans for how the mill would resume its workings. Latimer listened with interest, and John was just starting to feel the tension he'd been carrying in his shoulders lift when there was a tap at the door. It opened without the visitor waiting for a response
"Father? I am off to visit Mrs - oh. I am sorry, I did not realise you had company."
Ann paused in the doorway, frozen as though she had seen a ghost. She was dressed to go out, and her eyes widened slightly when she caught sight of John.
"Miss Latimer." John inclined his head to her.
She nodded her head in return. She did not leave the room, instead walking over to her father and his guest, gesturing towards John.
"Father, might it be possible for me to speak to Mr Thornton alone? Just for a moment."
Latimer looked between them and nodded.
"Of course. I'll be just outside, Ann." Mr Latimer fixed John with a hard glare.
There was an awkward silence as Latimer left the room. John was not sure what was about to happen; he just hoped it would be over quickly.
"So, you are to be married after all." Ann said lightly, walking to the window when her father had left the room.
"Ann-" John began.
Ann settled herself on the seat at the window ledge, turning to face him. She held a hand up to stop him, clasping her hands in her lap. Her back was perfectly straight, the light from the window meaning he had to squint to look at her. It was strangely intimidating.
"Mr Thornton, if you would allow me to speak. I feel as though I am never allowed to say anything! I know we have not seen one another for some time. I - I must ask that you let me speak my mind, just this once." Ann said. Her voice was soft and flat, her northern accent chipped away from her by her time at finishing school.
"Of course."
"I know there is talk that I am most distraught about your engagement to Miss Hale. I heard whispers as I walked with my mother this morning, I caught people staring at me. I do not wish there to be any whispers at all about me. I am not upset by the announcement. You and I have not spoken for months, and I was quite aware that our attachment or whatever it was came to an end long ago. I- I must however confess that I had hoped at one time that we would marry."
Her voice wavered uncertainty, and she cleared her throat. She could not look John in the eye, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. Ann was not a woman who usually spoke so plainly. She had been brought up to know her perceived place as a well raised woman - to let men speak and to merely listen. John did not share that opinion of a woman's place.
"I am sorry if I gave you that hope."
"You did, and you did not. You somehow managed both at the same time, Mr Thornton. If I remember correctly, you kissed me once." Ann said, turning her head to look out of the window.
John winced; he had indeed kissed her when they were out walking - shortly after Margaret had left Milton. Nobody had seen the pair of them, he'd made sure of that. He did not know why he had done it. Curiosity, perhaps. Desperation to feel something for someone other than Miss Hale. Desperation to feel anything at all other than hopelessness.
It was wrong; it had felt wrong the moment their lips had touched. It was a mere peck on the lips yet it haunted him. At the time, it had felt as though he were being untrue to Margaret, though she had never shown the slightest inclination that she cared for him. When he had returned home, he had cursed himself over and over for his impulsive action, realising it entangled him further with Ann when he knew his heart was not in it. He had never kissed Ann again - indeed, he had stopped spending any time alone with her at all after that.
"I did."
Ann looked at him thoughtfully. She had a kind face, John thought. If a woman like Fanny had been in a situation such as this, he was sure there would be an almighty row and a slap on the face. Ann was measured, reasonable even. He was not sure what he had been expecting but it was not such generosity.
"I have not told a soul about that day, I swear it. Things seemed to change between us after that day. You were distant, even more than you had always been. I could never get through to you - your mind was always elsewhere. I attributed it to your financial stresses - Fanny told me about them, do not blame my father. He did not breathe a word."
John scoffed; though he had thought it would be her father warning her away from him, it did not surprise him that his sister had been loose tongued about his troubles. She did not understand the meaning of the word discretion.
"It doesn't matter who told you, everyone around here knew of it. I suppose it was both my money worries and something else, I was too consumed by the mill to come and explain things to you properly. I was wrong. I behaved churlishly. I can only apologise."
Ann nodded, seemingly accepting his apology. He was grateful for that; she did not have to. Indeed, she was speaking to him with great kindness and decorum. She was a reasonable woman, polite and thoughtful. It escaped him why she was such great friends with Fanny, who was none of those things.
"I hope you and Miss Hale are very happy together. I mean that truthfully; you're a good man John." Ann sighed. "Would you be so good as to answer one question for me? Please, do not tell Miss Hale that I asked you this question - or indeed that I have spoken to you so frankly. I should be ashamed if anyone were to know I had been so bold, but I do so because we have spoken so often in the past and I know that we understand each other at least a little. I must ask - did you ever care for me?"
John hesitated. He did not know the proper way to answer; he did not wish to hurt Ann's feelings yet at the same time he could not lie.
"I valued the time we spent together. You were pleasant company and I am sure I was not." John told her. "I must admit - I hope that this would go no further than you and I, as I will keep your confidence in return. I feel I owe you an explanation - I must admit that I had feelings for Miss Hale long before you and I ever stepped out together."
Ann nodded. Her face was set in stone, impossible to read. She had a serene quality about her, as though nothing bothered her. He supposed it was a mark of her breeding and expensive foreign education.
"I could tell. When we saw her that day at the Exhibition, you looked at her in a way that I had never seen before. It was quite extraordinary. I wished you would look at me like that, just once." Her voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper, her cheeks flushing.
"I am sorry. I am not proud of my poor behaviour, and I am sorry if I have hurt you in any way."
Ann thought for a moment - then, her face gave way to a small smile. She nodded her head, and John thought she looked as though she was trying not to laugh. He had never quite understood Ann Latimer. She stood up from the window seat, walking over to him and offering him her hand.
"Thank you. Let us part friends, Mr Thornton. I am glad you have found someone who will make you happy. I suppose we are not so well matched; I never could make you smile. When I said Margaret's name just now, your face seemed to light up. I could never do that."
John shook her hand with both of his, holding them there for a moment in thanks. She had shown him true kindness, true sincerity. She owed him nothing, yet she had given him forgiveness. She hastily removed her hand from his grip, her eyes cast downwards.
"I am sorry if I treated you wrongly. I had heard that you were on the brink of your own engagement." John said.
Ann frowned, looking at him in confusion.
"Oh? I think perhaps that was my cousin Phillip from Lancashire, who visited us last month. The rumour mill really is insatiable!" Ann said. "I am sure my time will come, but as of now - I have no suitor."
John nodded. He was unsure of what to say; this whole conversation made him feel deeply uncomfortable. Men and women were not usually so honest with each other (though Margaret had always spoken her mind) and he did not want to cause Ann further offence by being too familiar.
"I am sorry if I have caused any damage to your reputation. It was never my intention to mislead you or cause you any upset."
"I do not think my reputation has been damaged as such. I think instead people feel rather sorry for me. I am not sure what is worse; I do not wish to be a subject of pity, especially when there really is no need for it."
"I thought you would be furious with me."
"What would be the point of that?" Ann asked, cocking her head to the side. "I could hate you, but I expect you and I will still see each other socially. It would be pointless to be terrified of seeing you, and surely to become enemies would only fuel any scandal surrounding us. Fanny is my dearest friend, and I expect Margaret will be present at our future social engagements."
"I suppose she will be."
"I was on my way to your sister's house for tea, as it happens. Will your fiancée be joining us?" Ann asked.
"I don't think so, not today. She's got a lot to be getting on with today. She's just moved into new accomodation so as you can imagine there is much to do."
"Very well. Thank you for speaking with me, Mr Thornton. I appreciate your courtesy in allowing me to clarify the matter."
She walked to the door and opened it. Mr Latimer was leaning on the wall opposite, and Ann kissed his cheek, bidding him farewell. Her father came back into the room, looked John up and down slowly.
"Let's get back to business, shall we?"
John left Latimer a little after five, having spent far longer combing over every aspect of the financial situation he was in than he had intended. Latimer had not mentioned Ann again, and the air seemed to have cleared. The relief John felt was tangible; one less thing to worry about.
Walking home through the busy streets, John felt eyes on his back. There had always been a little gossip about him; first, when his father had died. That had been hard to bear for his mother, who loathed tittle tattle. Then when he had risen to success - speculation about what nice Milton girl would be lucky enough to marry him. Then, as the years had passed and the only thing he was married to was the mill, there had been questions as to why a handsome man such as John Thornton was unwed. There was no winning.
Success to John had always meant sacrifice. The truth was that he did not mind it. He loved his work, he was driven by an unending desire to do his best in all things. Before he had met Margaret, he had been too busy to think of women. Men had tried to introduce their daughters to him but found that John Thornton only wanted to speak of cotton. It consumed him; sometimes even his dreams were just a canvas of white, a snowstorm of fluff.
He continued walking, eyes fixed on the ground in front of him as he strode on. He was stopped by a tap on his arm. He turned to see who had interrupted his pace, and was most please indeed to find Margaret, shawl round her shoulders and her trusty hat on her head, nodding her head to him in greeting.
"Mr Thornton."
"Miss Hale." John tipped his hat to her. "Where are you going? I did not expect to see you in this part of town."
"I needed to go and order some new bed linen. I quite forgot about it. I have never run my own household before and I suppose it is easy overlook some things. Dixon is out fetching other things with a list as long as her arm."
"Margaret, this is absurd. Just come back and live with us." John protested, feeling as though he was just repeating himself endlessly to try and make her see the sense in his argument.
"Mr Thornton." Margaret said pointedly. "There really is no need for me to stay with you before we are married. I am quite capable of living alone."
"Where are you going now?" John asked, not wishing to fight about it when he knew he would never triumph against Margaret's iron will.
"I was going to go to the mill to get a start on the school room. We agreed upon it earlier, did we not? I was running late so I am glad to see you here."
"Then let us walk together." He offered her his arm and she slipped hers through. They walked in silence for a few minutes. John broke it. "I have had a productive afternoon."
"I am glad of it." Margaret said with a smile. "What did you do?"
"I went to see Mr Latimer to discuss business. He seems most enthusiastic about it all, he seems to think I might have a fighting chance of getting back on my feet after all. While I was there, I spoke to his daughter."
Margaret's arm stiffened against his.
"Is she well?" Margaret asked eventually.
"Quite well. I owed her an apology, as I think you well know."
"Yes, you did. Were you - were you truthful?" Margaret asked hesitantly.
John knew that she was referring back to their argument a few days ago, and his confession that he had socialised with Ann with the ulterior motive of inciting some kind of jealousy in Margaret.
"I did not tell her I spent so much time with her to try and make you jealous, no." John said in a low voice. "I did not think that would be helpful."
"Good. No, that part of the story would not mend any fences." Margaret said. "I hope you will never tell anyone that. It was sorry behaviour and you know I was furious about it."
"I know. Ann was kind to me, she was most gracious in her acceptance of my apology."
"You behaved so badly I'm sure you not deserve it!" Margaret said rather shockingly, and when John looked at her face he was surprised to see her trying not to laugh.
"Are you teasing me?"
"I should not, because I am still cross with you. But I cannot help it - there is something about you that stops me for being cross for too long."
"I shall remind you of that once we are married." He said with a smile.
His fingers stroked the length of her forearm, not caring who saw such an intimate gesture. He loved her with a passion he could not quite place, he felt a need for her that he had never felt before. He looked at her, her face looking straight ahead, the gentle curve of her chin giving way to the pale skin of her neck. He knew then, though he had known for many months, that he would love her forever.
They walked to the school room. Margaret unlocked it, the pride on her face evident. John knew that feeling; there was nothing like having the keys to something that was yours. Indeed, this whole place was hers really but she did not wish to be reminded of that. This tiny shed that he'd never done anything with was hers to use and do as she chose.
John was struck then by how different it was to be a woman. Margaret had never owned anything before, and though her parents had been more allowing of her spirit than most would be, she had still never had complete free will to make her own decisions. In the last few days, she had broken free of all expectations. Seeing her face as she looked around the dark and dusty room, John understood the risks she had taken. The enormity of her decision to come home with him, to declare that she did not care what her family thought of the whole thing.
"I love you, Margaret Hale." He said firmly.
She turned to look at him, her eyes soft.
"I love you. Now, help me clear all of this or we will never be sorted by the time the mill reopens!"
"You're an ambitious woman." John told her.
"I hardly think it a grand ambition to wish to educate children. Indeed, I do not know if I will be any good at all at it, but I shall never know if I do not try."
"Have you told anyone of your plans?"
"I was hoping you would be able to tell your workers. When you speak to them, just mention that there is a provision to teach their children. That is all, you do not need to say anything else."
"I don't know, Margaret. They will think I am up to something. This is your venture, not mine."
"Please, John."
He sighed heavily.
"Right enough, I'll mention it. Only once, mind." He told her, attempting to look stern. Though it came easily to him, he found it impossible be too hard on Margaret - though he wasn't sure she would take him seriously anyway.
"Once will be plenty. Thank you, darling."
"I'll get rid of all this for you." He gestured to the rusting bits of machinery that littered the room. "Then we can move the tables. I'll be working late tonight so I'll walk you home after dinner."
"Thank you." Margaret said with a smile. "That is very kind of you. I do not want to be a burden."
"It is no burden to make sure you are safe. Make sure all your doors are locked fast. I do not like you being alone in a house with only Dixon for company. Not when so many are out of work and desperate for anything they can sell. There was a spate of robberies not two month ago, and that was before the mill closed."
Margaret shook her head, frowning with concern. It was true that things had taken a turn for the worse recently, and the robberies were only the start. John had heard reports of unrest in the poorer areas of the city, and the magistrates had been clogged with cases of petty violence. It was only a matter of time before it spilled over into other areas.
"I did not know things were so bad. I will sleep with the poker from the fire by my side if it eases your mind, love. Though I fear if any burglar should see Dixon in her nightgown he would get quite a fright!"
"Still. Be careful. The sooner we are married and back under the same roof the better in my mind."
John's mind wandered a little then, to the thought of Margaret being beside him as they slept. It was a thought that he had forbidden before, but now..well, it was rather nice to think of it.
"Do not worry so much! Now, are you helping me Sir or merely watching?" Margaret asked, her hands firmly on her hips.
John brushed the hair from her face, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He looked at her with such love as he had never felt, so thankful for the thousandth time that week that she was standing in front of him at all after such an unlikely reunion.
"You were born to be a Master's wife."
A/N: Hello, I know I said I'd be gone for a while but then I finished writing this and I wanted to get it up because I've spent so long editing it that I hate it and it was either upload it or get cross and delete the whole thing. So the next chapter might take a while but I think it will skip ahead at least a few days to the opening of the mill otherwise the story end up being a play by play of every single thing they do and it'll be 10000 chapters long..!
Side note, it is really bloody hard to write a character who never spoke a single line!
Thank you so much for your kind reviews - they mean the world to me. Honestly.
