As Colin Gomez-Loud ate his dinner in the kitchen, he did something he rarely did anymore: he thought of Mama and Chica.
Although Colin was far from crying about it anymore, it still stung to think about it. Sure, it may have been a few months since he had seen them last, but still… he had practically been ripped away from them. He hadn't been able to say goodbye, tell them that he loved them… he wasn't bitted, just disappointed in HIMSELF.
"I wonder how they're doing without me," he thought. It probably wasn't surprising that he was missing. People in San Diego had a tendency to 'disappear' if they knew anything about, say, a shady gang deal or what not.
Considering his group of friends, Colin assumed that everyone expected him to either be beaten, kidnapped, or killed. If not all of that.
"I hope Chica doesn't miss me a whole lot. Her birthdays coming up, anyway..." he said as he checked the calender on the fridge.
November 16. Her birthday was exactly a week from today.
"I wish I was still there for them. They could really use-"
"COLIN!"
He jumped out of his chair at the unmistakable sound of Lolas' voice. Glaring at her, he said, "You're still not as creepy as Lucy, but still..."
"I expect that you know about me and Lanas birthday in 2 days. I'm just here to make sure that you remembered."
"Remember? How could I forget?" He lied, with much more concern in his eyes. "No one ever tells me anything," he said under his breath as she turned around again.
"What was that?"
"Nothing! Oh, it's nothing! Just, heh, a breeze, yeah! A breeze…"
She scoffed and began to turn back around, but she turned to face him once more.
"Oh, and Colin? I EXPECT A PRESENT."
Slightly startled by his sisters strong tone, he responded.
"Already taken care of, Chica mejor. Expect the best present that you've ever gotten!"
"I expect nothing less," she scoffed as she walked to the living room.
The next day...
"C'mon, CMON! There HAS to be something good in here!" Colin said to Lincoln and his friend, Clyde McBride, as he searched the children's section of clothing at JCPennys.
"Ummm, I'm not sure that clothing isn't gonna be the way to go here, Colin," Clyde said as he frantically paced around the room. "I don't usually pay attention to Lola, but when I do see her, she's always wearing the same thing."
"Clyde, Lincoln, if I don't get Lola the best present EVER, I'm toast!" he said/shouted, grabbing at his hair. "There are 3 rules in the Loud House: no swearing, no fighting, and DO NOT MAKE LOLA MAD! And I've only known her for 3 weeks!"
"If you want to make Lola happy, I think you should get her something princess-ey. Like a tiara! Or a Beauty Pageant thing!"
"Lincoln, you are a genius!"
They made their way to a costume store, where that found a somewhat expensive looking tiara. However, when they took it to checkout, they received a rude awakening.
"200 DOLLARS?!"
"Sir, I'm not sure if you realize it, but that tiara was manufactured by the same company that owns Rolex," the timid looking cashier said monotonically. "Needless to say, it's expensive."
"But seriously, two hundred? There aren't any REAL stones in here, are there?" He asked, looking in, out, and under it.
"Well, not TECHNICALLY, but it's made out of a very rare metal. It would be a miracle to find it any other place in this town."
"Oh, forget it. I'll just get her a shirt or-"
"Colin, wait!" Clyde said. "You know how much Lola likes expensive stuff, right?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, if you buy her that tiara, you'll probably make Lola very, VERY happy that you spent your hard earned cash all on her!"
"Clyde, its not that I dont want to buy it for her. I just dont have enough..."
"Cash? Simple solution! If we all pitch in our money, we'll be able to get that tiara, make Lola happy, and be able to stop at Flips on the way home!"
"Ok, take back what I said about Lincoln being the genius. That's obviously Clyde." He then turned to the cashier.
"I'll take it!"
On the way home that evening, however, Lincoln brought up another problem.
"Wait, did you think of getting LANA anything, Colin?"
"No problemo, Chico. I have the perfect present for her, and it's living in the basement!" He said to the confusion of both Lincoln and Clyde.
The Next Day…
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"
The Loud family sang as both Lola and Lana blew out the candles on their birthday cake. The twins party with their friends was the previous night, but the parents wanted to make sure that the family would be involved in some way.
"Thanks, guys!" They said in unison as they walked over to open their presents.
"They're going to love your presents, Linc," Colin whispered to a nervous Lincoln as the twons sorted out their presents.
"Are you kidding?! I got Lola a book! A BOOK! What kind of person gets their 7 year old sister a book on their birthday?!"
"Hey, calm down. It looks like they're opening mine first, anyway."
The twins both thought different things when opening their gifts.
"Something pretty, something pretty, something pretty..."
"Something dirty, something dirty, something dirty..."
Lana was the first one to open her gift. But instead of the delighted squeal Colin was expecting, he was greeted by a long silence.
"Uhhh, Colin, what do you expect me to do with this?" She asked as she held up an expensive tiara in her hands.
"What?!" He asked, shocked. What did Lana have Lolas' gift for?!
"Ugh, Lincoln, I thought I asked YOU to label them!" He said, realizing the blunder.
"I did! Oh, no! I must've mixed them up last night!"
"Wait, so if Lana has Lolas present, then Lola must hav-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The two boys turned to face each other, sheer terror in their eyes.
"Oh, no."
They got up and ran into the living room, where the scream had originated.
"GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!" Lola screamed as she frantically waved her arm around, a large, hairy animal attached to it.
"Ok, do NOT panic!" Colin yelled to Lola (from across the room.) "It won't bite you if you stay calm and don't move!"
Lola didn't hear him well enough to understand, though, because she continued to scream and wave her arm around. There was no more instruction to be found, though, as Lynn Sr marched in as though he was in a homecoming parade.
"LINCOLN?! COLIN?! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"
"Padre, I can explain! I was cleaning my room last night, see, and I found a tarantula in the corner-"
"THIS IS A TARANTULA?!" Lola screamed as she tried even harder to get it off her arm.
"So I thought it would make a nice present to Lana, and so I put it in a shoebox, wrapped it a couple minutes ago, and Lincoln put the labels on..."
"Which, in hindsight, probably wasn't the smartest idea," Lincoln said as his sisters came over to stare at Lola.
"Woah, nice arm, Lola! You could throw a mean softball pitch if you keep it up!"
"Dude, Lola, nice dance moves! Show me how to do those sometime!"
"Hey, what's Laila doin-AHHHH! A SPIDER!" Leni said as she saw a different spider on the floor and ran.
"Lincoln, Colin, go to your rooms! Your grounded for the rest of the week!" Rita said, marching in Lynn Sr-esque.
"Aw, c'mon, Madre, it was an accident!" Colin tried to explain, but a quick death glare sent both the boys packing.
Before he made it up the stairs, though, he looked back down one last time. Lana had managed to get the spider off her sister, who was sitting on the couch, shooting daggers directly towards… well, you can probably guess.
"Oh, boy...Lola is going to kill me..." Colin said as he laid down in his bed, managing to doze off a few hours later.
The Next Morning…
Colin woke up and went upstairs to get ready for school. He poured himself some cereal, watched TV, and finally went upstairs to comb his hair and brush his teeth. He had just gotten to the bathroom door when...
"OH MY GOD!" Lincoln yelled as he burst out of his room. He looked normal, but yet… there was something strangely off about him.
After a minute of wondering what was different, Colin came to the stunning conclusion.
"Dude...where are your eyebrows?!" He asked, kicking into panic mode.
"More importantly, Colin, WHERE'S YOUR HAIR?!"
"My WHAT?!"
Colin forced himself to look up into the mirror.
"OH MY GOD!" he screamed as he looked at himself in the mirror. He still kept some hair at the top of his cornrows, but from his ears down, nothing. Not even his beard was spared from his sister wrath.
He marched out of the bathroom looking like his family had been murdered in front of him.
"OH, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT LITTLE PIECE OF-"
"Looking for something, you two?"
They both turned around to see Lola, holding something oddly families in her hands.
"M-my hair. My beautiful hair!" Colin moaned. he felt a rush in his stomach as Lola held the hair she had cut off of him an the morning.
"That's right. After that WONDERFUL birthday present I got last night from you two ,I thought that I might as well... REPAY the favor."
Lincoln turned to face his sister.
"Lola, you didn't repay ANY favor! This is just cruel!"
"Cruel you say? Sort of like my "present?"
"No!" Colin screamed. "IT WAS A MIX-"
Hmm, is that mom and dad I hear coming up the stairs? I better run, then. Buh Bye!"
She sprinted into her room as Lynn Sr and Rita came upstairs to brush their teeth.
"Colin, Lincoln, what are you two-"
They stopped, staring at both Colins head and Lincolns eyes.
"Ummm..."
"Mom, Dad, can me and Colin miss school for like, the next week or two?"
The room was silent for a while, until the parents broke the silence in almost perfect twin unison.
"LOLA MARIE LOUD! GET OVER HERE!"
