July 9, 2005

I wonder what he's doing. I hate Becky. I shouldn't have told. What does he do during the day? Like, swim or something? Or hunt? I can't remember what I ate when I was there. I was probably too sick to eat. Except for that medicine. I've got a really strong craving for strawberries and pineapples. I won't let Becky have him. I bet he can hunt really well. Pigs and stuff. And fish. Smoked salmon. That bed. Can you blame me? That life rocks. But I don't just want to go back for food and comfort. I want him. I shouldn't have told Becky. But I did. She just wouldn't stop asking. So I told her. That I was kidnapped by a jungle boy. She didn't believe me. She thought I was delusional. But then where was I those three days? She thought I was sleepwalking. Ha ha. Yeah, right. Does sleepwalking make you feel this way? I doubt it. Highly. So I showed her the feathers and flowers. I saved them in my pocket. My little souvenir. Sometimes I talk to them. Pretend they're him. Maybe he can somehow hear me. Like, telepathy. I can give him a lock of my hair, and we can communicate. Like walkie-talkies. Ha ha. Becky believed me. I think. She said I was stupid to be so in love with him. Is that was this is? Love? She said I could have been in danger. Do I love him? Can I love him? I hardly know him. I owe him my life. She said I was lucky after I wouldn't shut up about how wonderful he was. So she dropped the whole danger thing. What is love anyway? She said I was lucky. I'm not lucky. Lucky would be if I had stayed. I didn't. I hate my life. I want to go back. What's the point of living out here? Nothing. Everything is underground. She said she wished it had happened to her. That she had gotten sick instead of me. So she could meet him. Did I try to steal Aaron from her? No. Why can't she just let me be happy? Is that the only reason he took me instead of her? Because I was the one who was sick? Was he just trying to help? Does he love me? Do I love him? Does Becky? I hate Becky. She can't have him. I won't let her. I'll beat her to him. I love him. There. I said it. Wrote it. Whatever. I, Madeleine Christine Destler, am hopelessly in love with Jungle Boy. I now pronounce you husband and wife. It's not gonna be that easy, is it? I won't let her win. I love him. But I'm so confused. I ran away. Like, two sentences ago. I can't help it. I found a place. A pool thing. With a waterfall. Better than our other pool. I'm gonna stay here. I don't care what Becky says. I can't stay. I need to think. I…oh, gosh. He's here.