Author's Note: Ok, this is gonna be the smuttiest update yet, but both characters will remain fully clothed… Definitely not the dirtiest thing you've probably read… but it's going to involve masturbation and Ben talking dirty. So, yeah. Unfortunately, because of this site's habit of occasionally censoring fics on this platform, this version may be slightly more sanitized than the AO3 version. Here's hoping you all are still enjoying this story regardless! [Side note: Big love to everyone who reviews here, on AO3, or on Twitter.]


Chapter 11: Trust Me
Ciara watched Ben with no small amount of frustration. He had refused to look at her since she had managed to snap Ben's self-control for a moment, which had been equal parts exhilarating & terrifying. To know she had that kind of effect over him was a very heady feeling, but unfortunately, the aftermath had left something to be desired.

When the kitchen timer had gone off, Ben had snapped back in control of himself, and immediately jumped off the bed & rushed to the kitchen. And now he was being distant, physically & emotionally. She knew they would have to talk if they wanted to get things back on track, but she wasn't sure where to even start. Ben hadn't even acknowledged her presence since he placed a plate in front of her and sat down to share the meal at the dining room table.

"You're staring," he pointed out without looking up.

"How would you know when you won't even look at me?" she shot back without thinking.

He flinched. "I guess that's fair."

"I'm sorry for pushing you so hard," she said, setting down her fork. "I was just having fun touching you, & I trust you so much."

"I'm sorry I proved unworthy of your trust," he quietly responded staring at his plate as he picked up a bite on his fork. "I hate that I ruined everything like that."

"What are you talking about?" Ciara gasped. "You haven't ruined anything. If anything, I realized just how much I can trust you."

"Ciara," he said warningly.

"What? I mean it."

"You don't have to lie to spare my feelings. You promised me you would be honest."

"I'm not lying, Ben!" He tossed her a disbelieving look and shook his head before refocusing on his food. "I'm not! I do trust you, Ben. In fact, I probably trust you now more than ever."

"Bull shit, Ciara," he hissed meeting her gaze angrily. "You were scared of me! I practically mauled you, and you were terrified. I know you care about me, but you don't have to lie or pretend you still want a savage like me when you clearly don't. I'll still be your friend no matter what."

"You idiot!" Ciara snapped, making Ben's anger spike slightly. "I wasn't afraid of you! I'm petrified of sex, period. I was scared that I wasn't ready and that you would be mad at me if I asked to stop! Hell, I was afraid you would be mad at me if I didn't. It was never about you, Ben! It was about me." Ciara released the breath she was holding when she saw the tension melting from his frame. "This whole 'intimacy training' or whatever is about me overcoming my fears. Fears that were there long before we ever became friends, Ben! You know that. I wrote a check I wasn't sure my ass was ready to cash… no matter how much I wanted to. And I was afraid, but never of you."

"If you were overwhelmed, all you had to do was say so. I would have stopped immediately, I swear."

She reached across the table and took his hand. "I know that, Ben. Hell, I didn't even hear the kitchen timer go off at first because I was so lost in my own head. It wasn't until you spoke that it even registered for me. And I'm sure you would have reacted just as urgently if I had asked you to slow down or stop. Why wouldn't I trust you?"

"How can you have so much faith in me, Ci?" he asked confused but clinging to her hand in his. "You said a big part of your faith in me was that you trusted me to be your safety net while you explored your limits. But I broke when you needed me to be strong."

"Ben, I knew damn well that I was playing with fire by teasing you," Ciara explained. "If I'm being honest, I was really enjoying the burn. Besides, you are only human, and I am pretty irresistible."

They shared a laugh. "That is true. I just can't stand the idea of scaring or hurting you."

"This isn't going to be easy, but I can pretty much guarantee you that my days of fearing you are long gone," Ciara chuckled.

"The cabin."

"Yeah, but even then, there was a part of me that knew you would never ever hurt me." She squeezed his hand, before digging into the last of her food. "And you proved me right again & again… just like you did tonight. I wish you had even half as much faith in yourself as I have in you."

"I do, too," Ben admitted, getting up to put his dishes in the sink. "But I'll get there eventually."

Ciara finished her last bite. "You better," she teased as she handed her plate to him. "But now that we settled that, I was thinking we could maybe pick up where we left off. Seemed like we were on the verge of starting Stage 3 so…"

"Are you serious?" Ben asked. glancing at her from the corner of his eye. "Didn't all that kind of ruin the mood?"

"Ok, kinda, but not permanently," she said. "Or it doesn't have to be."

"And what about your fears?" he asked, turning to face her with an eyebrow raised as he dried his hands.

"Still holding a lease in here sadly," she admitted, tapping her forehead. "But we're working on that eviction, so I think as long as there are guidelines for now, we should be good. I pushed a little too far too fast, but only a little. I still think I'm ready for us to explore the next level."

"Oh, you are, are you?" he asked.

Ciara rose on her tip toes to kiss him. "I am." She pulled him down and kissed him slow & deep.

Ben lifted her off her feet, and she immediately wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her to the couch and set her down. He pulled back. "Stay," he whispered, and then he sat on the computer chair instead of beside her.

"What-?"

"We're going to do a transitional exercise, and then you're going home."

"But why?"

"We've been dealing with a lot in a short amount of time, and if I'm being honest, I'm feeling overwhelmed myself," Ben admitted. "So, after this, we're going to spend the night apart. Catch our breath and then… if you're up for it, maybe we can do something for lunch or dinner tomorrow."

Ciara considered his words. "My first reaction is to be hurt, and feel like it's personal," she said, determined to be honest even as he tensed, "which I guess it is. But I know you would rather take a punch to the nose than hurt me, honesty or no honesty. So, as I really consider it, you're probably right." She chuckled when he released the breath he was holding. "And I am absolutely up for hanging with you any time tomorrow."

Ben grinned. "Good."

"Now what do you have in mind for this little exercise?"

"You're going to masturbate for me."

"I'm going to do what?" she goggled before laughing nervously. "Aren't we skipping a stage? Because I'm pretty sure the nudity thing isn't supposed to be until at least Stage 4."

"You're not taking off your clothes for me yet," Ben clarified. "You're gonna do this fully clothed."

Ciara swallowed. "I am?"

"Yep," he said with a smirk. "I'm going to talk you through it."

"You have got to be kidding me… right?"

"Not even a little," Ben stated, licking his lips as he looks her up and down. "You're just going to listen to my voice and my words, and if you trust me to guide you, I promise we'll both be satisfied."

"So, you're going to…"

"Nope." He shook his head. "Just you."

"How-"

"Just trust me," he reiterated. "Now close your eyes. I can't wait to see you cum for me."

Ciara's eyes slammed shut, and her heart raced. She was so confused yet the idea of putting on a show… of masturbating and cumming for his eyes only… a part of her was so embarrassed by just the possibility of anyone seeing her do something so private, but another part was excited by the elicit fantasy come true. A fantasy she could never imagine admitting to out loud. So, she released a deep breath, laid back on the couch, and said, "Ok."

"There are so many ways I've imagined making you cum for the first time," he began.

His voice was taking on that deep, husky tone that always made her rub her thighs together even before she'd ever fully considered them being more intimate. Now, she didn't try to hide her reaction.

"I fantasized about it so many times, I was afraid I was becoming obsessed. The first time I imagined us making love… with you staring at me with those big blue eyes so hungry and desperate for my cock."

Ciara's stomach knotted.

"You would be so hot and wet for me. I would ease my way into you tight, hot p*ssy inch by inch until you were full of me. Squirming for me. I can tell that pretty kitty is getting all hot and sticky for me right now. Isn't it, Ciara?"

She swallowed heavily as her breaths became shallow.

"Are you imagining me filling you up over and over and over again? You would love for me to stuff you hard and deep, wouldn't you? I would make it is so good for you. Hit every spot." Ben's voice deepened, "If I ever get inside that pussy, I'm going to put my name on it. I'll ruin that hungry kitty until you can't even get wet without thinking of me."

"Mmm," she hummed, lost in the fantasy he was weaving in her mind. She felt shivers of arousal all over skin. The muscles of her belly and lower knotted with tension.

"Why don't you unbutton your jeans?" Ben suggested, to which Ciara immediately complied. "Now my favorite fantasy about making you come, involved me suffocating to death between your legs."

"Ah!"

"Why don't you caress your breasts?" he suggested, throwing her off before she could wedge her hand inside her panties.

"Huh?" she groaned in frustration.

"Just to relieve the tension a little," he continued smoothly. "Go on cup them in your hands. Good girl. In my fantasy, I would be licking every inch of your body until you were a quivering mass of pleasure and anticipation. I would nibble that spot behind your ear that sends a shiver down your spine."

Ciara let his words suck her in until she could almost feel his tongue on her skin.

"While my tongue was slowly working its way down your body, I would fill my hands with your breasts. Squeezing, shaping, molding until your nipples were tight and begging. But I wouldn't touch them yet."

Ciara whimpered as she used her hands in place of his, her mind lost in the image of him making her feel good.

"I would tease those pretty t*tties a little bit circling around and round the areola but refusing to give your nipple any attention."

"Please," she begged, lost in the fantasy of being held in his hands.

"When you couldn't wait a moment longer, I would brush my thumbs over those needy peaks so lightly." He paused when she released a particularly desperate moan. "By then, my mouth would be there begging for a taste. As I pinched and rolled your nipples, I would lick that needy peak." Ben had to bite a lip, when he saw her squirm and rub her thighs together once again. "You like my mouth on you?"

"Yes," she breathed.

"Good," he practically growled. "While my mouth is devouring your breast, one of my hands can't resist continuing its journey." He watched a hand release her other breast and slide lower. "I can't resist dipping my finger in that sweet little innie… feeling your muscles tense and release in anticipation of what I'm going to do next… how I'm going to touch you."

Ciara's hand followed his words.

"Then I would slide my hand lower and lower until I reached the curve of your thigh. I would slide down to the delicate flesh of your pussy."

Ciara shivered hearing that word from his mouth again. Ben's voice was weaving a sensual world around her. A wet & wild world of heat & passion that almost drove her mad with want. She slipped her hand inside her jeans, needing to relieve the pressure building in her cl*t. "Ah!" she gasped at the first touch.

"You feel my fingers sliding between your sloppy wet lips, don't you?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"You feel my finger pressing on your throbbing cl*t?" he asked.

"Nngh!" she groaned.

"Slide your hand down to caress your lips," he ordered her breathing heavy. "Now, pull it out. Let me see how wet you are for me."

Ciara did as he bid pulling her hand free of her tight jeans and showing him her glistening fingers. She opened her eyes to see his reaction and moaned. He was gripping the arms of the chair so hard the veins in his arms were bulging & his knuckles were turning white. And when she met his eyes… A full-body shiver overwhelmed her & her heart raced at the barely controlled inferno turning his molten chocolate almost black.

Ben leaned forward suddenly and grabbed her hand. Ciara squeaked in surprise at his sudden move. Staring deeply into her eyes, he brought her hand to his mouth. His tongue came out and slowly bathed each digit meticulously until they were clean, but damp with his saliva… and Ciara was a whimpering mess. Then, he sucked her fingers into his mouth, and she moaned throatily. He pulled her hand free of his mouth with a pop. "Slide your hand back into your panties. Imagine your saliva-coated fingers are my tongue."

"Ah!" she gasped as she followed his instructions. Her eyes slipped closed for a second, but when she opened them, Ciara once again found herself drowning in the raging flames in his hungry gaze.

"God! You taste so damn good," he groaned, licking his lips, and dropping his gaze to follow her hand. "I can't wait until I'm on my knees between your thighs. I'd dance the tip of my tongue around your swollen, little cl*tty. Around and around until you're desperate for me to play. Then, I'll tap it once."

"Ohhhh."

"Just once, because I would need to taste more of your sweet p*ssy." Ben bit his lip and closed his eyes tightly as he tried to maintain focus & control of his arousal. "I'd slide my tongue between your lips & around your entrance. I'd lap up your essence... all that wetness just for me. Isn't it?"

"Yes," Ciara breathed, her fingers working between her clit and her vagina desperately seeking her peak.

"I'd lick & suck that clitty so hard."

"Please," she begged, getting closer to her climax. She was so lost now the she was openly playing with her breast & riding her hand desperately.

"And just before I make you cum, I'd slide my finger onto your clit and stick my tongue deep inside you, so I can taste every ounce of the cum you would gush all over my face."

That was the final straw. Ciara erupted like she never had with strangled scream of satisfaction.

Ben immediately knelt beside her talking her down as he brushed kisses over her forehead and neck. "You smell delicious," he whispered, setting off another aftershock. "I'm going to make you a bath before you go, ok?"

"Ok," she whimpered tiredly, as Ben rose to follow through on his promise. "No, wait, don't," she amended. "I'll be too tired to go home if I take a bath. I'll just take a shower."

"Are you sure?" Ben asked, eying her as she stretched like a cat that got the cream.

"Mmm, yeah," she affirmed, rising to stand in front of him. She pulled him down for a quick kiss. "Thanks."

Ben grinned. "You're more than welcome."

Ciara snickered. "I'll be quick."

Ben was left watching as she snatched up a change of clothes and scurried into the bathroom. As soon as the door closed on her, he flopped on the couch, gripping the base of his erection through his pants with a desperate groan. "I swear she's gonna be the death of me."


"You sure you don't want me to postpone my rideshare and 'return the favor' again?" Ciara asked, as she broke their kiss against his front door. Ben had finished cleaning up the kitchen and called for her ride while she showered, and now she had him pushed up against the front door sharing a goodbye kiss.

"Why do you keep asking me that?" he chuckled, stealing a quick kiss. "You know we don't have that kind of time right now, and to be honest, I'm nearing end of my reserves of self-control."

"Fine." She pouted. A moment later, an alert dinged on Ben's phone. "That's my cue."

"That it is," he agreed, pulling her in for one last slow kiss. When he pulled away, he moved away from the door, and opened so he could walk her to the waiting car. Once there, he brushed a stray curl behind her ear. She leaned in as if to kiss him, but he took a step back. "Remember to behave."

When she saw his eyes darting around, realization hit her, and she remembered not only his earlier revelation that her grandfather was having her followed, but that they had rules against PDA. "Sorry."

"I'm not." Ben hugged her tightly, and then helped her into the car. He watched until the car turned out of sight. He walked back to his apartment letting the cool night air calm him as he fully grasped what he needed to do next.