Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.

Song for this chapter – Heartbreaker- Pat Benatar

Thanks for dannibags for suggesting this story for correcting my errors, and for being awesome. Piesmom for making sure that everything is good before its début.

Warning: This chapter we are dealing with a girl who is not yet an adult technically. We sometimes make stupid assumptions and sometimes do things that we shouldn't, so be advised. There will be stupid thoughts and mistakes made. I didn't want anyone to complain. Suicide is also addressed in this chapter … if this is something hard for you to read please stop now, and know that things got really tough for her and she struggled, she will live through another chapter. –Thanks!

I can remember a time in my life where I was smoking the same cigarettes the guy I liked did so we would have something in common. I have dyed my hair blonde because his new girlfriend was and I wasn't. I have lost weight to try to be like someone else. Done stupid … stupid ass shit to impress someone who wasn't clearly interested in me. I know I am not the first one or will I have been the last. Bella makes similar assumptions here.

Bella finds herself in a bad situation … the love of her life has just bet her and the 'Love Bands' to another group. That situation is terrible, but Kate is coming to town. How will Bella deal with everything going on in her life?

Chapter 10

Heartbreaker

BPOV

I knew … Jake was right. I knew … Edward would break my fucking heart from the beginning I knew and did it any damn way. What the hell was I fucking thinking? I knew it… he was married and unable to fully commit. Hell, I could have stopped it all myself, but no. I wanted him … I wanted him to want me. So, here I am now, alone and crying my fucking eyes out. I loved him … still do, but I don't know how I am going to make it without him.

The knocking at the fucking door was driving me crazy. I pushed the covers aside and looked out the peephole, seeing Jake standing there.

"What do you want?" I yelled through the door. I didn't want to have to deal with his "I told you so" this morning. My plate was already full of regret.

"I need to talk to you about something," he said through the door.

"Not today, Jake … haven't you learned your lesson?" I asked.

"It's not like that … listen Edward did something last night that involves you and the 'Love Bands'. Please open up before they come up here," he said. I ripped open the door … Jake looked like shit.

"What the hell happened to you?" I asked.

"Long story … look I understand the kiss was wrong. I apologize for that, but Edward traded you guys off to another band last night," he said.

"Edward wouldn't do that," I said, walking away from the door; Jake came in, shutting it behind him.

"He would and he did. I don't know what is going on, but last night during a poker game with 'The Hawks,' he gambled you guys off like you meant nothing to him. I know I made threats and figured he might, but I never expected it to actually happen."

"He couldn't have," I said, tears running down my face. How could he?

"I'm not making this up. I promise, I would never break you guys up like this."

"I don't know what to believe," I said. It was official, I was totally numb.

"You need to talk to the girls … get them out of here or whatever. Tell Jasper so he can settle Edward's debit or something, but you can't go with them."

I nodded because at this point, I was hurt, confused, speechless, and totally lost. I didn't know what to do. Jake pulled me into his arms as I hugged myself tighter trying to keep myself from falling apart. This felt like a low blow even for Edward. It felt like my whole body was about ready to fall apart if I let go. We stood there for a few minutes as the tears slipped over my cheeks, I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't. Jake pulled back from our embrace when I had quieted down a little.

"I've gotta go, but talk to the girls," Jake said, looking at his watch. I walked over to the phone in the room and called Tink's room number, and asked her to call all the girls to my room. I didn't want to be the one who told them really, but I didn't have a choice. Crawling back into the bed and pulling the covers over my head was the best option. I didn't want to move.

In a matter of minutes, the knocking on the door alerted me to the girl's presence. I crawled out of bed, opened the door, and allowed them to enter. This wasn't going to be fun.

"So, why the emergency meeting," Rose Bud said, entering the room. Once the door was closed behind them, I took a deep breath.

"Apparently, last night during a poker game with 'The Hawks', Edward decided it would be best if the 'Love Bands' were no longer on the tour," I said quickly because the tears were building up in my eyes.

"That son of a bitch," Rose hissed, rushing over to me.

"Are you okay, sweetie? I know you can't be taking this all that well," she asked.

"I'm fine, just … yeah … fine. Um, the tour for 'The Hawks' will be pulling out soon and according to Jake, they are expecting our arrival. I'm giving everyone a heads up here." I wiped the tears from my eyes, trying to keep myself strong enough to figure out what to do now; now that he no longer wanted me here.

"Well, it doesn't matter to me really. Jasper and I are leaving tomorrow after dinner. So, I won't be going with 'The Hawks'," Tink said. I knew they had plans to head back to LA and maybe that was the best thing to do. However, I wasn't going to go back to Renee and Phil's, which meant I wouldn't have anywhere to stay.

"I think I might like to go, if that's all right with you guys. Garrett isn't really feeling our connection he said. Mike won't give me the time of fucking day, and Jake … don't even get me started on him. He avoids me like the fucking plague," Jessi Lee rambled.

"Are you sure about that?" Tink asked, which I was glad because I didn't want Jessi to be all alone with another group with no other women to talk to.

"I'm sure … there are probably others like us on the tour and if not well, I will just find the next bus out," Jessi said, shrugging like she didn't have a care in the world. I wish life could be that wonderful again, to go where the wind blew me.

"I personally don't give a fuck what Edward did. I never made the deal to begin with, so I won't be going, plus Emmett would kill him if he knew what he did. Don't let him tell you what to do … if you want to stay … stay. If you want to leave with Alice and Jasper, go for it. I will be here so you can hang with me and you won't even have to worry about that shithead," Rose said, looking like she was filing her nails as she talked and that was what I loved about her. There was no one who could get under her skin, not even Edward.

"Emmett's planning on quitting the band after the tour anyways. Actually, once we're in LA, he is getting a job with his uncle in Tacoma."

"Oh," I said.

"Don't worry doll, Emmett's decision has nothing to do with Edward or the others. He just thinks it's time. The records haven't been selling and he knows his place in the band, and knows that he will be the first made to leave when it all falls apart." She shrugged. I didn't really know much about the other band members, and apparently Rose had found someone she was willing to spend a while with.

"I'm happy for you," I said, walking over to her and pulling her into my arms. I couldn't help that the tears once again took over me. I stood in her arms as she lightly rubbed my back. I was happy she had potential love waiting for her and sad that I had misread the whole situation with Edward.

I barely overheard Alice talking on the phone in the room, but within minutes there was a knock on my door. I pulled from Rose's embrace and watched as Alice allowed Jasper into the room.

"Bella, you're more than welcome to accompany us back to LA. I thought that was the plan to begin with, but it seems Edward has changed his damn mind," Jasper said, but he didn't look one bit happy. I hadn't ever seen that look on his face before. Jasper was usually pretty laid back and never really showed much emotion. He knew when to step in and take control of situations, to keep them from becoming more than they should. Even when dealing with a moron in the clubs or along the road, he never looked as pissed as he did in that moment. Jasper pulled me into his arms and hugged me as the girls gathered around, hugging me too. This would probably be the last time we all would ever be in the same place again. This tour had changed our lives, some for the good and some not so good.

~AASS~

Boarding the bus to New York was hard and Edward wouldn't even look in my direction, and I barely glanced out of the corner of my eye to look at him. He looked like shit. I assumed it was from the large amount of coke and alcohol he had consumed last night while playing poker. I didn't even give him the benefit of seeing me cry either. If somewhere inside of him he was actually regretting his decisions, I wanted him to hurt thinking I never cared. Sitting with Jake was another blow I wanted to throw, hurt him like he hurt me.

The bus ride was eerily quiet; I guess the end was drawing near for all of us. The good times that had been shared on previous rides were over, and now I could see the cracks in the group. Garrett sat in the corner, not even talking to anyone. Jasper and Alice were in their own little bubble in the back of the bus; so were Emmett and Rose. Jake and I didn't even speak. Hell, we didn't even look at each other. Mike sat quietly reading a book, and Jessi was long gone.

When they pulled up at the Gramercy Park Hotel, Edward was the first to get off the bus. The tension in the air was probably choking him like it was choking me. I watched as a blonde woman standing in the lobby rushed into his arms. I knew exactly who the woman was … Kate. I was nothing like her. She had on nice dress pants, a blue blouse, and her hair was in place. Some days I was lucky to get my rat's nest combed out good enough to tie back. I wasn't anything like Kate, and being he wasn't getting a divorce from her, apparently she was what she wanted.

Jasper walked up beside me, scaring the shit out of me.

"She doesn't hold his heart, I know that much," Jasper said, watching the couple in front of us. They hadn't kissed yet and I didn't know if he just didn't want to or if he didn't want me to see how much they were in love.

"Don't placate me, Jasper; he doesn't love me, which was obvious. He never wanted to divorce her, and now it looks like he never will."

"Don't be so sure. Many don't know I'm still going through my divorce." My head whipped around to look at him. I never knew Jasper was married.

"She thought she was pregnant; parent's wanted me to do the right thing. Alice knows, but I don't talk about it with the guys. It's not like any of them can relate. Plus, she was gone before this gig ever started."

"Alice never said anything about it to me," I said. I was completely and utterly shocked that Jasper had been married. Here it was I had assumed everyone was perfect except for Edward.

"I asked her not to tell any of you girls, but felt like if she was going to be with me, she had to know."

"Do you have a kid?" I asked because he had said something about marrying her because she was pregnant.

"Yeah, Jackson … he's three," Jasper said, once again bowling me over. I had never heard anything about any of this, and I thought Edward was his friend. I worried about Alice instantly. She was walking into a readymade family with an ex wife, or soon to be. Jasper pulled out a picture of him and a little boy with light blonde hair and brown eyes.

"He's cute," I said.

"He hasn't met the guys and like I said, I don't run around airing out my business. So, no one knows … well except Alice and now you, but don't say anything. In a couple of hours, I will be on a plane back to LA and no one needs to know about my personal life."

While talking to Jasper, I no longer focused on Edward and Kate, and when I looked up, they were no longer in the lobby. I turned and smiled at Jasper. He smiled back; it was his way of getting my mind off what was happening in front of me. In that moment, I think I loved him too.

"You're staying in our room tonight," Tink said, grabbing my elbow and leading me down the lobby hall to the elevators.

~AASS~

Jasper and Tink were heading out first thing in the morning, and tonight the band was having a dinner for Jasper as a going away party. However, everything was going to be low key because of Kate. The princess wasn't about to party like a rock star, and she couldn't hang. I thought it was ridiculous that all the guys in the band were going to act like they did nothing just to appease her.

I watched as Alice ran around the room getting her outfit together to wear for the night. She was going to the dinner too. Edward had asked that none of the girls left be brought to dinner, but Tink and Rose told him to kiss their asses. I guessed Edward was worried that I would show at the dinner and tell his lovely fucking wife about how he fucked me. I wasn't going to do something like that; he should have known me better by now.

"You know you could come to dinner. Rose and I could blow off the boys and sit with you. We could sit next to them to drive Edward crazy."

"Nah, I would only start crying when I see them having fun together. It's better this way. Plus, I'm thinking about heading out with you guys in the morning. I don't think I can stay and watch them together."

"That sounds great. The label is paying for the trip … private plane … so you don't have to buy a ticket," she said, winking at me in the mirror of the dresser.

"I need to sleep so I can be ready to leave."

"Okay, we shouldn't be gone long, and if you need anything, don't hesitate to call. It's the restaurant downstairs," she said, looking over her hair and face before grabbing her purse.

"Have fun," I said sarcastically. I didn't know how fun having dinner with Edward and Kate was going to be.

"Always," she said, opening the door and walking out. Jasper had been waiting outside the room on her. It took her longer than he liked to get ready, but he waited. He leaned in waving at me before they left.

I stretched out on the bed. Counting the titles on the ceiling wasn't all that appealing, but it was something to do. It didn't take long before my mind drifted to Edward and Kate. Kate was my primary focus; she looked prim and proper in her attire. She looked sophisticated and high classed. All the things I wasn't, but what if I could be. I shot straight out of the bed and rushed over to Tink's things. Tink had always been the most fashionable of the group. Surely, she had something I could wear to class things up a bit.

Twenty minutes later and Tink's clothes spread out around the room, I found the outfit I wanted to wear. Allowing Edward to see that I could be just like Kate, I didn't know what I would accomplish, but I had to do something besides lay here and pine away for him.

I walked out of the room, feeling good about myself. I left my hair loose, hanging around my face in curls and put on a minimal amount of makeup with a little lip gloss. Thank God, both Tink and I not only being the same size in clothes, but also in shoes. I slipped into the form fitting black shirt, pulled the black shirt into place, and slipped the blue jean jacket onto my arms. The black heels in her closet matched the outfit perfectly.

Climbing on the elevator, a man fell over his feet while he was looking at me, and I knew I had something great going for myself. When I left the elevator, the lobby was practically empty, but I saw the restaurant and headed straight over. I slipped by the hostess and spotted the group having dinner. I couldn't move from where I was standing. Edward had his arm around the back of Kate's chair, both of them were laughing and talking. I could feel the tears burning in my eyes. It was a knife in the back. How could he be that cold hearted?

Edward looked my way. The look on his face was classic. All the color drained from his face, his eyes had dilated, and became bigger as he looked at me. I guess Kate noticed this look and looked in my direction too. Her look wasn't all that nice, and in that minute, whether he had admitted it or not … she knew. I could see it in her eyes, the hatred. I could feel her eyes burning a hole in me, but before I could approach the table or even turn and flee the scene, Jasper walked over to me quickly.

"Bella, what are you doing?" he asked, grabbing my elbow and leading me out of the restaurant.

"I had to show him," I replied stupidly as the tears slipped over the rims of my eyes. I brushed them away quickly, but Jasper still noticed.

"He knows … baby girl trust me, he knows," Jasper replied, kissing my forehead.

"Go up stairs, watch some TV, or take a sleeping pill. I will send Alice along shortly and then we can forget about this tour. Okay?" he asked. I nodded, pulling away from his body and walking out of the lobby toward the elevators. I didn't hold back the tears.

Just as the elevator doors were about to close, someone stopped them. I looked up and saw James, standing there smiling. He quickly entered the elevator.

"Eddie done playing with you already?" he asked, smirking at me. I didn't like this situation at all.

"We're not split up. He just needed to take care of a few things first," I said, trying to stand straight and give off the look of confidence, even though at this point I didn't have any. I still acted like nothing could bother me.

"I bet you know you're not the first one to be in this situation." I didn't move a muscle.

"You want some of these to make you feel better?" James asked, holding out a handful of pills. I knew what they were, Quaaludes. My mother had taken them before to help her sleep. Figuring that I could sleep instead of lying in bed and counting the titles again, I let down my walls.

"How much?" I asked.

"Twenty," James replied. I reached into the purse I had with me and pulled out all the money I had.

"Fifteen," I said showing him it was all I had.

"Fifteen and I tell Eddie to give me another five."

"Whatever," I said because at this point I didn't care. James handed me the pills. There were about twenty of them, and even though at the moment I knew I didn't really need twenty, I knew they would come in handy the next couple of days to help me get over things.

I slipped out of the elevator and over to my room. I quickly used the key and entered. I sat on the end of the bed looking at the pills I still had grasped in my hands.

What's there to live for?

No one cares about me.

No one wants me.

Walking over to the faucet in the bathroom, I pulled a cup from the plastic and filled it with water. I looked in the mirror one last time before I threw ten pills in my mouth and swallowed. Wiping my face with the wash cloth trying to remove the mascara that had run down my face from crying; I looked like a mess.

I had walked into the room, when there was a knock on the door. I quickly opened it to see Jake.

"Izzy," he said entering the room as I held the door open for him.

"Have a drink with me," I said heading toward the mini bar in the room and pulling out the liquor bottles. I opened them sucking down the alcohol quickly causing my throat to burn. I coughed as the liquid slide down my throat. Jake walked over to me and was patting my back; I turned around, falling into his arms giggling.

"Izzy, what is wrong with you?"

"Dance with me," I said.

"There's no music on," he retorted.

"Just dance with me, we don't have to have music," I said, swaying my hips to the beat in my mind. I cling to Jake's arms, not being able to stand any longer.

"I have loved you from the moment I saw you," Jake said.

Jake kept talking and talking … I couldn't … keep … up …w …it… his.

A/N: Okay, so something terrible has happened … never fear the story is not over. However, where could it go from here? I don't know if the next chapter will be Jake's outtake of what happened or if I will continue on with Edward. I have to see what I have up my sleeve. Sorry, this chapter was a little shorter than the last couple, but I tried to fill it as much as possible.