**GINORMOUS, EXTREMELY IMPORTANT A/N**
First of all, I am so sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long. So many things happened in my life and real life is just more important than fanfic ;)
During this time, I have come to the conclusion that I need to leave fanfic. I have completely quit reading already. However, I have been sitting here contemplating what I am going to do with MeV. I have had three chapters just sitting here – one beta'd (this one) but the other two not. I really love this story, but I don't have enough readers to force myself to finish the story. HOWEVER, don't fear, I won't leave you hanging. I'm going to post the other two chapters I have and the ¾ of one I have written and then I'm just going to post the last "chapter" as a summary of sorts so that everyone will know the ending. To be honest, it's only a summary of 2 or 3 chapters, lol. What I have written is so close to the end seriously. It's just that fanfic has taken up so much of my life and my family misses me! :(
On a good note, my husband is healthy again! He has been sick for years and he is finally feeling a thousand times better. This is another reason I am quitting fanfic. I know many of you won't believe what I am getting ready to say – and that's okay – but God is totally the reason hubs is better, so I need to get my life back on track and make HIM my number one focus once again.
I less than three you all (lol) and have enjoyed this journey tremendously. Thank you each and every one of you for reading, reviewing, rec'ing, alerting, and PM'ing. I have all of my reviews saved because they mean so much to me.
As usual, thanks to my rocks – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, and WhatObsession17! I have made such a strong friendship with you guys through all of this fanfic writing nonsense, lol. I am so glad to be friends with you all!
SM owns, of course (If not, I wouldn't be behind on my electric right now! lol)
Patience is a Virtue
Edward watched Bella as she put on the clothes Alice had left for her. He couldn't explain it, but something was wrong with the way she was acting. At that moment, he would have given anything to be able to read her mind. He could tell the gears were turning, and the expression on her face told him that he would not like what she was thinking.
Once he had slipped on his boxers, he stepped to her and cupped her face between his hands. "Hey. What is it?"
Bella scoffed. "You don't think this is all sorts of fucked up? We fucking hate each other, Edward. We totally just gave in to our stupid hormones just to get off! I don't do that kind of shit! I don't just fuck guys. In fact, this will be my very first walk of shame. Though… it's kind of weird since it's not the next morning and… well, I'm not leaving your house to go home. Regardless, I've never had one-night-stands before. I can't believe I lost my head like that."
Bella's admission pissed Edward off. Here he had thought they had made some leeway with their relationship; that they were finally going to quit behaving like some angry, horny teenagers. Apparently he was wrong. Very wrong.
"Well, I don't do that kind of shit either!" he yelled at her angrily.
Bella cocked an eyebrow.
Well, she's got a point there, Edward thought to himself.
"Okay, so maybe I do… but… I thought this was different. YOU were different. I just…" Edward decided maybe it was best to not admit to any of his feelings. Obviously, Bella didn't feel the same way. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. You're right. We hate each other. It was a mistake."
But to Edward, it wasn't a mistake. The mistake was telling Bella that it had been.
Bella dressed quicker than Edward, and she immediately ran toward the house. However, she didn't go to the house. She couldn't face anyone. What she had just done was the hardest thing ever. She wanted nothing more than to tell Edward that she wasn't that way. That it did mean something. But she couldn't take the chance of being just another conquest of his. She was fairly certain that Edward truly did hate her, and she couldn't fathom the thought of him being honest with her once she poured her heart out. So she did what she did best – she ran.
8o8o8o8o8o8
Edward, may I speak with you? Carlisle thought quite loudly as Edward entered the house.
"Do you mean speak or do you mean think?" Edward asked sarcastically.
"Forgive me. Yes, we can speak verbally," Carlisle said from his office.
"Fine, whatever," Edward snapped. He didn't mean to take his anger out on Carlisle, but he was now more confused than ever about his relationship with Bella. He wasn't looking forward to speaking to anyone, especially Carlisle, who could read him like a book.
He stepped into the office where Carlisle was seated behind his desk, writing furiously on a tablet. Without looking up, he motioned for Edward to have a seat.
He continued to write and Edward was beginning to think he wasn't going to speak at all. He was getting nothing from his mind, he was simply thinking of what he was writing.
Five gallons of dark brown paint
Three gallons of light brown paint
Two rollers
Eight roller brushes
Paint thinner
Two pair of coveralls
I hope this works…
Suddenly, Carlisle stood from behind his desk. "Would you like to go with me to pick up some supplies? We can chat on the way if you don't mind?"
Edward really wanted to get away from the house, so he didn't even think twice about his answer. "Hell yes!"
As Carlisle turned the key in the ignition of his Vanquish, he burst Edward's bubble. "I will have to stop just outside the city limits and run the rest of the way. We can't have you coming in contact with humans just yet." He smiled politely.
"Of course not," Edward replied dryly. "After all, I'm not Bella."
Carlisle pulled out of the garage and glanced at Edward. "Edward, that's not what I meant. You are not the exception, you are the rule. Bella is the exception."
"Exactly. Bella is an exceptional vampire," he said mockingly.
Carlisle sighed. "Look, I have been around for a very long time. I have been around many, many vampires. More than you will likely see in your… um… lifetime?" Carlisle wasn't quite sure of what word to use so it came out more like a question.
Curious, Edward dropped his attitude and asked, "Why have you been around more than most?"
Carlisle chuckled darkly. "Well… it's a long story. Are you sure you want to hear it all?"
Nodding emphatically, Edward answered, "Of course!" Carlisle didn't know it, but Edward had loved to listen to the stories in his head as he went through memories occasionally, but they were never complete. This would be his chance to finally hear something in its entirety. He was a little more than excited about it.
"Well, I grew up in London in the middle of the seventeenth century. My father was a pastor. He led hunts for witches, werewolves, and vampires to 'destroy the world of evil'."
"Wait," Edward cut him off. "So, you were a human when you found out about vampires?"
"Yes, I was. In fact, when I was a little older, my father put me in charge of the hunts. I had never seen them, and to be quite honest, I wasn't sure if I believed in them. Sure, my father would tell me stories of his personal raids upon them, but having never seen them myself, it made it rather difficult to wrap my head around."
"Tell me about it. After becoming one, I had a hard time wrapping my head around it." Edward realized he had interrupted Carlisle again, so he hung his head. "I'm sorry. Continue."
Carlisle smiled. "It's okay, son. I can completely understand your curiosity."
Edward felt a strange sense of belonging when he realized Carlisle had just called him son.
"So, my father had given me orders to seek out these 'abominations' and destroy them. I wasn't too keen on killing like my father had been; however, I had found a coven of vampires and decided to set a trap. I managed to trap one and began chasing him down. The plan backfired on me, and he turned to attack me. I had three other men with me, so the vampire merely incapacitated me, killed two others and then took the third and ran away."
"Shit, that's crazy," Edward mumbled.
"Tell me about it," Carlisle chuckled, repeating Edward's phrase back to him. "So, once I… well, I guess you'd say 'woke up', I knew immediately what I was. I was horribly ashamed. I knew I couldn't go back to my father. I mean, for goodness' sake, he killed… my kind… and it was incredibly difficult to accept that I was now included as a 'kind'. I didn't want to be what I had become. I didn't want to feed from humans. I didn't want to have to run from my father. So I tried to kill myself."
Edward's head snapped up. "But you… you're still here. It didn't work?"
Carlisle chuckled darkly. "We are nearly invincible. Nothing I tried worked."
"What… what all did you try?" Edward had never even thought about suicide when he was trying to refrain from killing humans. He wasn't sure why he hadn't thought about it, and hearing that Carlisle had been unsuccessful made him grateful that he hadn't.
"I jumped from a very tall building, I tried to drown myself. I even tried to kill myself by starvation."
"You jumped from a building and survived? How… what happened?"
Carlisle actually snorted as he spoke. "I landed on my feet… they actually went about six feet into the ground before coming to a stop. And drowning? Yeah, well, we don't even have to breathe, so I was under the water for hours and hours before I finally came back out, drenched and humiliated."
"And so… starving didn't work. How… many people did you kill before you found out about animals?" Edward felt awful for hoping that Carlisle's number was bigger than his, but at that moment, he needed encouragement.
But he didn't find it in Carlisle's answer.
"None." Carlisle noticed Edward's expression and immediately continued. "Like I said, I tried to starve myself. By doing so, I had to take myself away from human population. I went far away from the city. Eventually… and I don't know how long it took, but it felt like ages… but, the hunger became so strong that when a nearby herd of deer came too close, I pounced and drained two of them so quickly I hadn't even realized what I had done. However, I had come to the conclusion that I could survive on animals. I felt like less of a monster by abstaining from human blood."
Carlisle noticed Edward's dejected demeanor and paused. What's wrong? he thought.
"I couldn't resist, Carlisle. I hated what I was doing, but I couldn't stop myself. Eleven times. Twelve if you count Bella. Hell, of course we have to count Bella. Your boys are the only reason I stopped."
Carlisle sighed heavily and pulled off the side of the road in order to give Edward his full attention and look him in the eye. "First of all, we don't count Bella. You need to talk to Emmett about his encounter with his singer, it might help ease some of your guilt."
"His… singer? I remember… when I met him and Jasper, they said something similar… what was it? Something cantante…" He scratched his chin as he tried to remember the words. There was so much going on at that time, and he wasn't actually paying attention to what was being said, especially since he was so overcome by the desire to take Bella.
"Yes, la tua cantante. It's a phrase often referred to when discussing someone so irresistible to one of our kind. I hadn't been sure it was real until Alice saw it in one of her visions. There are rumors about singers, but I had never met who had come across theirs before Emmett. They claim that every vampire has one singer. That human's blood sings to them only – like the Sirens Odysseus encountered. Many vampires have gone to the ends of the earth looking for their singer. Legends have said that a singer's blood gives great power to the vampire to whom the blood sings. Of course, I now know this isn't true, now, but the legend still goes around. Anyway, I'm getting off topic here. My point is that you can't hold yourself accountable for how you responded to Bella. The fact that you were – and still are – a newborn would make it impossible to deny yourself human blood, let alone your singer's blood. You need to quit being so hard on yourself."
"Carlisle, I appreciate your attempt at consolation, but the fact of the matter is… I was weak. I… I still am. I've… I've always been weak. I will always be weak."
Carlisle placed his hand on Edward's shoulder. All men are weak when it comes to love, son.
Edward gasped and laughed humorlessly. "Love? What are you… I don't know what you're… That's absurd."
Smiling, Carlisle put the car back into drive and pulled back onto the road. "We seem to have gotten off topic a bit. I was trying to tell you why Bella is the exception. After I found that I could survive on animal blood, it took much effort to desensitize myself to the smell of human blood. Two hundred years, to be precise. I was finally able to walk among humans with no desire harm them. In fact, I had a much stronger inclination to help them. I had seen so much death and destruction throughout my time interacting with humans, that I had hoped to help rather than hinder the human race. I began every aspect of medical training from that point on. Still, at that point in time, I had only met the occasional vampire. That was until I began studying in Italy. The Volturi are native of Italy, therefore the country is riddled with them – more specifically, Volterra. Aro, their leader, had caught wind of an aberrant vampire who worked among the humans. He sent for me, and unfortunately, you learn fairly quickly that when a member of the Volturi sends for you, you have no choice but to succumb."
Carlisle turned onto a gravel road and parked once he was hidden from the road. "I'm afraid I can't take you further than this, but it's a short distance for me to run, so I won't be gone long. Please stay here, Edward. You will only bring yourself more sorrow if you try to follow me." Carlisle looked at him pleadingly.
Edward rolled his eyes. "Of course, Carlisle. I couldn't do that to you. I'll stay here. And we'll continue this conversation, right?"
Nodding, Carlisle grinned and said, "It would be my pleasure." And then he disappeared.
8o8o8o8o8o8
Meanwhile, a little over sixty miles away, James had caught the scent of several vampires. Most of them were newborns, but one in particular – a promiscuous female – beckoned to his more carnal desires. The time he had spent around the Cullens – particularly Bella – had been harrowing on his sexual appetite. Especially with how much he had lusted after Bella.
She was a beautiful, sexy woman, and on more than one occasion he had wanted to ravage her. When she turned him down, it had been a huge bruise to his ego, but he had still planned to wait for her. At least for a little longer.
That was until he had his run-in with Edward. It was obvious Edward had some sort of feelings for her, but the signals she gave as to whether or not she reciprocated those feelings were rather mixed. As it turned out, James just needed to get away and clear his head. He needed to think without the interference of meddling vampires.
He tracked the scent of the female vampire that had caught his attention, finding her in some seedy bar, pulling a male human behind her by the hand.
As soon as she caught sight of James, she dropped the human's hand and bared her teeth in warning.
Only loud enough for her to hear, James whispered, "Why settle for a human, when I can give you what you really desire?"
The gorgeous redhead licked her lips, glanced down at James' bulging crotch, and grinned.
8o8o8o8o8o8
Barely thirty minutes had passed when Carlisle returned to the car. He smiled and nodded. "Thanks for staying, Edward. It means a lot."
Edward scoffed, "I told you I would. I keep my word, Carlisle. I may be a lot of things, but a liar isn't one of them."
"Well, I appreciate that. And I never took you to be a liar, it's just that… well, I wasn't sure you wouldn't try your luck at resisting the humans. I was just worried you would attempt to prove yourself. I'm sorry for doubting you."
"God, no. I know what that scent does to me. I can remember it like it was minutes ago. I won't temp myself like that, you can bet the bank on it. But… I have to know. If you thought there was a good chance that I would go… why did you leave me here? Why did you trust me?" Edward asked sincerely.
"Well, Edward, we all have to learn on our own. We can't just take someone's word for it. It would be wonderful if we could learn from others' mistakes, but it's just not the case. We grow from our own mistakes. I had hoped you wouldn't need to see for yourself, but it was your decision to make, not mine. I'm not your ruler, your father, or your boss. I'm your friend. I will never demand for you to follow my rules. I will simply try to help you to lead the life I lead if you so desire. You are always free to go. Free to live your own life. But I will always be here for you."
"But… what if I'd have –"
"Alice would have called me and I could have stopped it. I assure you, no humans were at risk," Carlisle said with a smile.
Edward smiled back. "Thanks, Carlisle."
"Anytime, son."
Smirking, Edward said, "I thought you said you weren't my father."
Carlisle chuckled. "Well, I'd like to think of myself as a father figure to all of you. I feel like you are my children. And I mean that in the kindest way. But, I would never order you around like a father orders his children."
Edward nodded. "I never had a good father figure before, so… well, thanks."
As they drove back toward the house, Carlisle continued his story about his time with the Volturi. He wouldn't discuss what his role had been, but he explained to Edward how many vampires he had come in contact with and how freely they fed from humans because it was their instinct, their nature. He told him that fighting their instinct was not natural, it was not easy, and by no means would any vampire ever look down on those who were unable to avoid temptation. Especially one that hadn't been taught any other way.
Edward felt measurably better after their trip, but he still had the issue of Bella festering in the back of his mind.
Would I be able to persuade you into helping me paint the barn on the back forty? Carlisle asked silently.
With his hand on the door to exit the vehicle, Edward quirked an eyebrow at Carlisle. "Barn on the back forty?"
Carlisle snickered. "Excuse my nomenclature… eh… lingo. I tend to revert back to my younger years sometimes. I forget that you young ones haven't spent time on a farm. 'Back forty' is just another word for the very back of the property. We have a barn back there, and it's looking rather shabby, so I thought it would be nice to liven it up. I thought we could bond in the meantime." Carlisle grinned.
"That would be a nice reprieve of the daily monotony I'm used to."
Stepping out of the Vanquish, Carlisle looked at Edward questioningly. "Would you like to drive?"
Edward's eyes bulged and he gestured to the extravagant sports car they just stepped out of. "This?"
Carlisle pushed a button on the garage door remote and said, "That," nodding his head toward the John Deere Gator XUV.
"Hell yeah!" Edward nearly shouted.
8o8o8o8o8o8
"Not that I'm complaining in the least, but you seemed to be trying to fuck someone out of your system, just now," the redhead said to James as she righted her dress.
James sighed. "I guess you could say that. I just… well, I think I just wasted a few weeks of my time with some freaky vampires."
"Well, I don't normally do this, but… well, would you like to go somewhere and talk? My name's Victoria."
"James," he said with a cocky smile. "Sure, we can go talk. It'd be nice to get some of this crap off my chest."
Victoria led James to an old abandoned warehouse outside the city – a place where she spent her time when the sun was out. James paced as he told her about the Cullens and their strange way of life.
"Wait. There were newborns there? Like… HOW new?" Victoria asked.
"Well, the male was 'older' than the female. Apparently the male tried to drink from the female and the Cullens stopped him from killing her. I never found out how they knew, but… well, they seem to know things before they happen, but it's not all the time."
"Why would they save her, though? I mean… why would they stop him once he had already bitten her? It was over." Victoria wasn't resentful of what she was, but she knew that most vampires wished they had never been changed; that they had died instead. So, she couldn't understand why they would allow her to change instead of just die.
"I don't know. I never found out that much. But I know that they don't believe in hurting humans. And they are teaching them their way of life. The female has never drunk from humans. The male has, but they must have caught him early after he was changed." James shrugged.
"So, tell me. What has you so distraught?" Victoria asked.
"Well, the female, Bella, she… she had no mate. I… well, I've been alone for a long time, and I had a wild idea that I could possibly… I don't know…"
"Seduce her?" Victoria smiled slyly.
"Well, not exactly seduce… more like… convince her to be my mate. But… but I think she's fucking hung up on the male, Edward."
"Edward? Wait… what does he look like?" Victoria remembered the name Edward. It was such an uncommon name in this day and age. She remembered hearing a bartender asking about Edward a while back. When he explained to the patron who he was talking about, Victoria realized it was a guy she had fucked and bitten in the alley. She had expected him to come find her like she had advised, but he never did, and she hadn't figured out why.
As James began describing him, Victoria became angrier and angrier. Had she known he would run off to become some goody two-shoes holier-than-thou vampire, she would have made sure to be there when he had transformed. This was not what she had wanted. These vampires were a disgrace. A joke. An insult to all vampires. They were disgusting.
"How bad do you want that Bella?" Victoria asked snidely.
8o8o8o8o8o8
"I'm so glad you were willing to help me, Edward. It will be nice to have a companion to talk to. This job can be pretty boring alone," Carlisle said, smiling.
"Do you usually do this alone? Why, when you have so many others who live with you?" Edward asked, perplexed.
"Well, that's the thing. Jasper often helps, but I can tell it bores him." Carlisle chuckled. "I can't help but feel his boredom. I don't like asking him. I feel bad. As for Emmett… well, he seems to think that just because we can move at superhuman speed, we should do everything at superhuman speed."
Edward looked at him quizzically.
Carlisle chuckled and began gathering the paint and supplies. "One of the hardest things to learn in life is patience. You have to learn that sometimes if you try to rush things, the outcome isn't what it's supposed to be. If you try to paint too quickly, you will smear the lines, defiling what could have been perfect. The outcome, which would have been perfect and beautiful, ends up just being mediocre and second best."
Somehow Edward had come to the conclusion that Carlisle wasn't just speaking of painting. He couldn't help but feel that Carlisle was speaking more along the lines of Edward's relationship with Bella and trying to avoid cornering him. Despite Emmett being the one who had met his singer, it was Carlisle who understood him the most. After all, he was the vampire doctor. Out of all of them, he fought his destiny the hardest. Instead of feeding on humans, he saved them. Wasn't that what Bella was? If she truly was his singer, wasn't she some messed up destiny of his? The destination that every fucked up situation he had ever been in had led him to, including turning her. By fighting her all this time, hadn't he just been fighting the good that could come from it?
Carlisle continued, "Sometimes, even with our abilities, the world around us isn't moving at the same speed, and we have to slow down to meet it. We can't expect the world to rush forward and meet us just because we want it that way. We need to take our time and pay attention to all the small details."
Edward grabbed a paintbrush, lifted his hand and began stroking the air, snapping his wrist at the top and the bottom. "Thank you for your insight, Mr. Miyagi."
"Mr. Who?"
Edward laughed. "You don't watch much television, do you? Never mind. It's just… yeah, some old guy taught some kid pearls of wisdom through painting, and it just… I was trying to be funny, never mind me."
"Are you calling me old, Edward?" Carlisle asked with a serious face.
"What? No, no, I, uh…" Edward stopped when he heard Carlisle laughing.
"I'm three hundred and sixty-nine, Edward, I think you could say I am old. I don't take offense."
Rolling his eyes, Edward slapped Carlisle on the back. "Fine, OLD man, let's get busy."
Edward actually enjoyed painting that afternoon. He enjoyed feeling human again, committing to human manual labor. He only wished it wasn't just for one afternoon.
Thank you to those who continue to read even though I fail ;) I will post the other chapters very soon.
