Chapter 11
I can't believe I did that.
I'd say it was about time if you ask me.
What was I thinking?
That she looked sexy and the only thing you wanted to do was kiss her?
But still, I shouldn't have kissed her.
Why? I think it's exactly what you should have done.
No, I can't handle this.
Yes you can. You're just thinking about it too much.
Well what else am I supposed to do?
Um just let it be? Just relax and go with the flow.
I feel crazy.
No, you feel like you don't have control, and you don't.
But I need control. I need the comfort of knowing.
You need to learn how to let it go and live again.
No, you're wrong.
No, I'm not and you know it.
Monday after school, Puck strolls up to Lia's front door and rings the doorbell. A few seconds later Julian answers.
"Hey Puck what's up?" he fist bumps him.
"Sup, is your sister home?" he asks.
"Yea, she's in her room." Julian steps back and lets him in.
"Uh, where is that exactly?"
"Upstairs, and all the way back." Julian chuckles.
Puck smirks and nods before heading up the stairs.
Her door is open, and she's lying on her bed, face down. Puck knocks on the door frame and Lia looks over her shoulder. She smiles at him lightly and motions for him to come in. She sits up at the end of her bed and pats the space next to her for him to sit as well.
"Are you ok?" he asks.
She sighs and nods her head slowly.
"Are you sure? You were being a little quiet today, and that's not like you." He says a little concerned.
"I guess I have a lot on my mind." She shrugs.
"Does this lot have to do with Quinn?"
She looks at him and raises an eyebrow as if to say 'how do you know?'
He smirks, "I've noticed that you've been acting differently around her, like you're trying to avoid her. Did something happen?"
She's silent for a minute, debating whether she should tell him about what happened yesterday.
He puts a hand on her shoulder, "It's ok, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"No, it's fine…It does have to do with Quinn." She exhales slowly. I – I kissed her yesterday. We kind of got into a little argument, well she was kind of yelling at me, so I got angry and just kissed her. I kind of freaked out after I realized what was happening."
"Why? I know you like her, and it's kind of obvious she likes you too."
"You think so?" she asks a little hopeful.
"Yea, totally." He grins.
"But regardless, I – I'm not sure if I can handle this. I haven't felt anything or connected to anyone, except for my many, many sexcapades since Jackie. I'm scared to let her in, you know? I don't know what I'd do if I did let her in and she leaves too." Her voice is a little shaky, and he feels for the girl.
"I completely get what you're saying. But do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering what if? If you don't take a risk and let people in then you're gonna be alone for a very long time." He says sympathetically.
"I know." she sighs.
"It's ok." He wraps her in a hug. "You have people who are here for you if anything were to ever happen." He assures her.
She tightens her grip around him and squeezes her eyes shut, feeling absolutely safe in his embrace.
"Thank you, it means a lot." She says as they pull away.
He smiles sweetly at her. They continue to sit there in silence until Puck notices something and starts to squeal.
"No effin way dude! You have a Super Nintendo! How come you haven't told me about this!"
"I don't know, it hasn't really crossed my mind. I forget it's there sometimes" She giggles.
"Are you kidding! How can you forget that one of the greatest game systems that hosts the greatest game of all time is just sitting there? Please tell me you have Super Mario!" he pleads like his life depends on it.
She chuckles, "Of course, I have Super Mario World and Super Mario All-Stars."
His mouth gapes and his widened eyes sparkle comically. He looks like something out of a cartoon. Lia just laughs at him and gets up to turn the game on. She hands him a controller, as he beams and his eyes water at the tune of the title screen.
The next day at school, Lia once again tries to avoid Quinn. For the most part it's easy, except they have one class together, plus glee, and lunch. Today, Lia decides to skip lunch and hang out in the choir room. She figures it'll be a lot quieter in there than in the lunch room, and she could use the quiet to relax. Her heart and brain have been going at it again, and she needs a break.
When she gets to the choir room, she sits at the piano and basks in the much needed silence. She closes her eyes and evens out her breathing to calm her slightly racing heart and ease her brain into peace.
When she feels content enough with the calm state of her organs, she lets her fingers find the keys in front of her. Still with her eyes closed, she begins to play anything that comes to mind. The soft, rhythmic melody flows through the room and into her ears, eliciting a peaceful smile.
"That's beautiful." She hears and her eyes snap open.
"Uh, thanks." She answers.
"Can we talk?"
Lia sighs, accepting defeat and nods, getting up to sit in one of the burgundy chairs. Quinn slowly follows suit and sits next to her, but puts a comfortable amount of space between them.
"About…the kiss," Quinn begins.
"I'm sorry." Lia whispers, her eyes on the floor.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Are you sorry?" Quinn asks, her eyes never leaving the dejected girl next to her.
"I…I practically threw myself at you. I forced it, and I shouldn't have."
"You didn't force anything, and I'm glad you did it."
Lia looks up at Quinn, "Really?"
"Yes." She smiles. "I…I like you Lia." She hesitantly touches Lia's hand.
Lia looks down at their hands and smiles softly at the warmth.
"Are – are you even…gay?" Lia whispers, still looking at their hands.
Quinn's smile falls and her eyes find the floor.
"I – I don't know." she stutters.
They're silent until the bell rings.
"I gotta get to class. I'll see you later." Lia says not even bothering to look at Quinn.
Quinn opens her mouth to protest, but Lia's already gone. She sighs dejectedly before heading to her next class.
Why is this so difficult?
You have to figure your shit out.
What is there to figure out? I like her. It's that simple.
Not to her. She needs assurance, security, something to guarantee that you'll be there.
I will be there. I want to be there. I want her.
So show her. Telling her simply isn't enough. She needs proof, and actions speak louder than words.
You're right.
Aren't I always?
Quinn has a lot to think about.
What can she possibly do to ensure Lia that she wants to be with her?
She's not completely sure if she's gay or if she only feels this way for Lia.
But does that even matter?
Shouldn't her feelings for Lia be enough?
Why does she have to be gay or straight or whatever, why can't she just be and have feelings for someone, even if that person is a girl?
But that's it; Quinn is determined to prove to Lia that she's serious about her feelings.
Since lunch, Lia has been thinking of ways to loosen up and have fun again. She's still new in Lima, so she doesn't really know what there is to do. She decides to text Rachel to see if there even is anything to do in this ghost town.
Rachel is in her calculus class scribbling notes when her phone vibrates. She shoots a glance at the teacher sitting at her desk before checking her text.
Lia: Hey Rach, what fun things are there to do in Lima?
She raises an eyebrow at the sudden question.
Rachel: Um, nothing really, you would have to go out of town to find anything remotely fun to engage in. May I ask why?
Lia rolls her eyes playfully at how Rachel can never just give short answers.
Lia: Just askin. I wanna do somethin this weekend, like go out.
Rachel: Oh. Well Lima is pretty boring. You would definitely have to look elsewhere for fun activities.
Lia: K thanks :) u comin over after glee?
Rachel: Yea sure.
Lia: Awesome, see u in practice.
Rachel: :)
Glee rehearsal is spent going over ideas for sectionals and arguing over who should get a solo, as always. Lia starts to get a little annoyed that everyone is being so selfish. The usual three divas are going back and forth, and everyone else is bickering about them bickering.
"I think we should have auditions for the solo, even though I'm pretty sure I'll win." Rachel stands in front of everyone with her hands on her hips.
"Only because we all know Mr. Shue favors you." Mercedes dismisses the idea.
"Yea, because if it was a fair competition you'd be no match for me Dwarf." Santana jabs.
"You're not all that anymore Rachel, so don't be so sure you'll win without favoritism." Kurt adds.
"Face it Rach, you're a dimming star, and you just can't hack it anymore." Mercedes continues.
Lia's annoyance turns into anger at what they're saying to Rachel, and even more at how Mr. Shue is letting them.
"Hey! What the hell is wrong with you guys!" Lia shoots out of her chair. "Are you seriously trying to shake her confidence just to make yourselves feel better?" Lia seethes and makes her way up to Rachel.
"I can't believe you guys! You're always ganging up on her and it's not fair." She then snaps to the teacher. "And then you just sit there and let them! You're a teacher, an educator; you're supposed to help students."
Everyone goes wide eyed as Lia practically puts Will in his place. He's actually shocked and a little embarrassed that he's being reprimanded by his student. He just sits there while Lia fumes in front of him.
"So are you going to say something to them or am I going to keep having to?" she snaps at him.
"Whoa!" he finally stands. "You're being very disrespectful, Lia."
"Oh, you mean like how they all are to Rachel? I'm actually surprised you didn't let me go on any further, seeing as you let them do it." She crosses her arms.
"That's enough. Go to the principal's office."
"And tell him what exactly? That you're not doing your job?" everyone gasps, and she raises an eyebrow, daring him to push her further.
He pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut.
"Both of you, take a seat, now." He says through clenched teeth, and Lia smirks victoriously.
Her and Rachel take a seat next to each other and wait to see what he's going to say. He sighs in defeat, and goes on about sectionals. Lia looks at him incredulously for not addressing everyone's attitude. He just asks what ideas they have, which got them nowhere before, was he not listening?
"Seriously guys, sectionals are coming up fast. I need you to take initiative and get us moving." He chides.
"Ok, you want us to take initiative? I'll do it since everyone else just wants to sit around doing nothing and then have the audacity to celebrate when we win." Lia spits.
"We're having auditions for the solo. Whoever wants a chance to sing at sectionals will sign up." Everyone goes to protest, but she shoots them a death glare and they snap their mouths shut.
"Everyone who wants it will have an equal opportunity to audition, and then we all will vote on who they thought was the best, along with Mr. Shue. And you can absolutely not vote for yourself. Mr. Shue will then count out all the votes and the winner will be our soloist for sectionals. End of story." She commands.
"That was so hot." Puck murmurs.
"Was that enough initiative for you Mr. Shue?" Lia asks, her arms crossed over her chest, and her eyebrow arched in finality.
His mouth is slightly agape and he manages to clear his throat, "Ye – yes, Lia. That's exactly what I'm talking about."
"Good. Now that that's decided, I believe this rehearsal is over. I expect there to be a sign up sheet on the bulletin board tomorrow." And with that, Lia stands and motions for Rachel to come along.
"Well, I guess that's it for today. See you guys tomorrow." Mr. Shue dismisses, still in shock.
"I think she's been hanging out with Rachel a little too much." Kurt whispers to Mercedes.
"Yea totally." She agrees as everyone gathers their things and head out the door.
When Lia and Rachel make it in the hallway, they burst into laughter.
"That had to be the most hilarious thing I have ever witnessed." Rachel chuckles.
"I know. Did you see Mr. Shues' face? It was priceless." Lia says through giggles.
"It was, especially when you confronted him about not doing his job. Thank you by the way." Rachel says, completely serious now.
"What for?"
"For sticking up for me. No one has ever done that before." Rachel says, her eyes finding the floor.
"It's nothing you wouldn't do for me." Lia smiles and pulls her into her side as they walk out into the parking lot.
Rachel kisses her on the cheek before getting into the car.
On the drive to Lia's house, they brainstorm on what to do for the upcoming weekend. It's October; too cold to go swimming, so that's out. None of them are old enough to go clubbing, so that's a no. There aren't any good concerts around, so that's out of the question. Then an amazing idea pops into Lia's head.
"Oh my gosh!" she shouts.
"What? What's wrong?" Rachel panics.
"I just thought of the greatest idea ever!"
"Really? You almost give me a heart attack for that?" Rachel deadpans.
"Yea, it's totally brilliant!" Lia says giddily.
"Well spit it out already!" Julian speaks from the back seat.
"Camping!" Lia bounces in the driver's seat as they pull into the driveway.
"Excuse me?" Rachel gasps as they get out the car.
"We can go camping this weekend! The whole glee club! It'll be so much fun!" she can barely contain her excitement as they enter the house.
"Um I don't think so Lia. I mean me and the outdoors don't really mix well." Rachel winces just at the thought of sleeping outside.
"Oh come on Rach, it's not that bad. I promise it'll be fun!"
"I don't know."
"Please? Please, please, please?" Lia gets on her knees in front of Rachel, clasps her hands together and looks up to her with a pout.
Rachel tries so hard to resist the pout and pleading eyes, but she finds herself giving in.
"Ugh, that face is just so impossible to say no to." Rachel confesses.
Lia smirks smugly. "How does it feel?"
"Whatever. But I guess I'll give this camping thing a try." She sighs.
Lia beams. "Yay! You're the best!" she hops to her feet and envelopes Rachel in a big bear hug.
"We have to inform the glee cub ASAP. Oh! And I have to research some campsites." Lia continues as she rushes up the stairs to her room.
Rachel and Julian are just staring in the direction Lia took off in, in pure shock.
"I've never seen her so excited before." Julian says, never looking away from the stairs.
"Me either." Rachel murmurs.
Rachel then walks upstairs and finds Lia sprawled out on her bed with her laptop. She's really serious about this camping thing and Rachel wonders what she's just gotten herself into.
"Oh, Rach look! There's a great campsite over in Delaware, OH. It's Alum Creek State Park and only an hour and a half away! What do you think?" Lia glances over her shoulder.
"Uh that's great I guess." She smiles nervously.
"Awesome! I'm going to text everyone now." She rolls over onto her back and takes out her phone.
Rachel just plops down next to her.
As Lia's pounding away at her phone, the doorbell rings.
"LJ! Quinn's here!" Julian calls up the stairs.
Rachel turns to Lia and she blanches a little.
"Shit. I forgot today was Tuesday." She mumbles.
"Would you like me to leave?" Rachel asks as she gets off the bed.
"No! No, you don't have to leave." Lia almost shouts.
A few seconds later, Quinn appears in the doorway.
"Oh, hey Rach. I didn't know you were here." Quinn offers a small smile.
"Yea, Lia here was just organizing a camping trip this weekend, isn't that right Lia?" She shoots Lia a knowing smile.
"Ye – yea. Would you be down, Q? I was just texting everyone to see what they think." Lia asks.
"Um, yea I think that would be cool." She smiles genuinely.
Lia smiles back as her phone starts to go off with everyone's reply.
Kurt: Will there be a place where I can perform my nightly skin exfoliating rituals?
Mercedes: Oh hell to the no. My weave can't handle the outdoors.
Finn: Yea tly cmping is fun!
Puck: Will there be beer?
Santana: Only if Britts and I can share a tent.
Brittany: Will there be ducks there? :)
Mike: Totally I'm down.
Tina: Yea that sounds fun.
Sam: Awesome, I've always wanted to go camping.
Lauren: If there's decent food then I'm down.
Blaine: As long as there's a place to do my hair.
Artie: If everyone else goes I'm dzown yo.
Lia chuckles at the replies.
"For the most part everyone's down. I'll gather more info and present it to everyone tomorrow." Lia beams.
"Sounds like a plan." Quinn grins.
"Great." Rachel mumbles under her breath.
