l
-11-
After a full week staying at Keiichi's house, the small group finally went out to buy a couch. They went to a 'Virginia Furniture Store' in the heart of Norfolk, and from there Keiichi resigned himself to his fate. "Okay Belldandy, I'm leaving you in charge of what couch we get."
Belldandy whirled to face him in surprise. "You're what?"
Keiichi grinned. This was going to be either really fun or a horrible disaster. He was hoping on the former. "You heard me," he chirped. "You said you wanted to help out too, right? Well, now's your chance. You need to pick out a good couch."
The woman stared at him as though he'd just spouted gibberish. "Um… what kind of furniture do you want?" she finally asked.
Keiichi shrugged. "Don't care," he said. "It's going to be your couch, so make sure it's something you like."
Again, a look of mass confusion blanked out her face. "What do you mean it's 'my couch'?"
"Exactly that," Keiichi replied as he nodded. "This is something for you. As in, pick out something you like, because it will be your possession, not mine. Your couch, to sit on or sleep on or burn to the ground if you so please." He paused, thought about it, and then said, "We'll also grab you a fresh set of blankets for the bed, too. Again, make sure it's something you want, and don't worry about the price tag—I'm not hurting for change."
"A couch for me," Belldandy repeated, staring at him as though wondering if she misheard or he misspoke, and the look of disbelief didn't fade when he nodded in agreement. "Ah…" She looked to Urd and Skuld for help, but they'd already caught on to Keiichi's intentions and were playing along.
"It's all you, Sis," said Skuld. "Want to go around and see what looks good?"
Urd grinned at her and whispered something in Belldandy's ear. The woman jerked back when Urd was finished, then stared at her sister, aghast. Urd gave her a thumbs up. "Go and have some fun, Bell. When's the last time a man let you cut loose and go shopping?" She waved her hands in a shooing motion, and catching the hint, Skuld grabbed Belldandy and pulled her away, leaving Urd with Keiichi.
"What'd you tell her?" Keiichi asked.
Urd just smiled. "You'll see," she replied. "Think of it as her way of seeing just how sincere your offer is." She grabbed him by the arm and started to drag him in the opposite direction. "Now come on. We should have you order some other things while we're here."
"Like what?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Urd rolled her eyes. "Keiichi, I swear, you're worse than a cave man sometimes. How about something like a dining room set? Maybe a coffee table? Dressers? A recliner? A bookshelf? Some actual furniture?"
"Oh." He was starting to wonder about his offer to pay for whatever Belldandy chose. All of a sudden this seemed like it was going to be a very expensive outing. "Right."
XXX
Belldandy picked out the most godawful, ugly-ass, grandmother couch Keiichi had ever seen. But it was also pretty damned comfortable, he'd grant her that. The man sank into the couch with a sigh, bouncing on the cushions before lying down on the length. It was firm enough not to feel like he was being devoured but soft enough that it didn't feel like he was lying on a cluster of planks. "Not bad." He hoisted himself up and off, then gestured to Urd. "Lay down on it," he said. "Is it big enough?"
Urd raised a brow at him but did as requested. There was about three inches of extra space between her feet and the far arm. "Sweet. It'll do for a bed, too."
"A bed." Belldandy sent him an accusing look, and he grinned.
"Not for tonight, no," he reaffirmed. "But sometimes, say we have extra company for whatever reason, like the he guys or Lind, and they need to stay over, we can grab a few extra blankets, a spare pillow, and you've got some place to sleep when beds are slim." He stared at her with a smile, then added, "You ain't never lived to you've slept on a buddy's couch."
"I see…" Belldandy pursed her lips. "Then will this do for you?"
"Will it do for you?" Keiichi fired the question back at her. "It's your couch, not mine. I'm just pointing out things that are good to watch for with a couch is all."
The goddess frowned, then eyed the couch once more. It was a deep shade of pink that reminded Keiichi a bit of chewed bubblegum, with a floral pattern sewn in shades of gold and green at random intervals on the back and the tops of the cushions. It looked like something his grandmother would have owned back in the fifties, and the idea of such a piece of furniture resting in his own house made him laugh. He'd already been married once, and he'd stopped feeling self-conscious about the appearance of his furniture long ago. It'd be fun, and it'd drive the guys from Team 12 nuts if any one of them had to spend the night.
Belldandy glanced back at him, and Keiichi smiled once more. She looked back at the couch, still uncertain, then back at Keiichi. "You'll actually let me buy this." It was more a statement of disbelief rather than a question, and at his nod again her attention continued to drift between the couch and Keiichi. Behind her and well out of her range of sight, Urd and Skuld were watching with growing amusement, as though Belldandy was enacting out the most entertaining scene they'd ever witnessed. If he was one to judge, he'd even go so far as to say the two were making bets on whether or not their sister would not just choose a couch, but this couch.
Urd looked like she was rooting for her. Skuld's face was pink, and she bit her lip, shaking her head as she tried to fight back a grin. Finally, Belldandy set her face in a determined line, her gaze fierce. "Then I wish to buy this couch," she said. He recognized the tone. It was one that said, this is it, your last chance. You either give up this farce now or we're taking it home.
"Sounds good," Keiichi said. "Let me go track down a sales rep." He turned, pretending not to catch the look of utter shock on the Norn's face as he walked off, whistling. He also pretended not to notice Urd pounce on her sister as he rounded a corner, nor the startled squawk from Belldandy.
"You're freaking adorable sometimes Bell, you know that?" Urd crowed, and as Belldandy began to protest, she said, "Nope! Deal's set! This Ugly Beast is going home with us!"
He was relieved no one was around to see him double over in laughter.
XXX
The day passed into evening. It took some effort, but somehow they managed to get the 'Ugly Beast', as Urd so fondly dubbed their new couch, into the bed of the truck, held down with cables and some wooden planks. Keiichi had never been so grateful to have a trio of otherworldly beings at his side. He didn't think he'd get it through the front door of his house any other way.
They'd also ordered additional furniture as well; a solid wood dining set for the dining room with four matching chairs, a couple of small dressers for the guest bedrooms (where the Norns stored their clothes, Keiichi had no idea. The SEAL had never seen the sisters bother with laundry before) a La-Z-Boy of a bright red to match the Ugly Beast, and a larger, queen-sized bed for the guest bedroom Belldandy currently inhabited. Keiichi would move the current twin-sized bed into the other guest bedroom after the new bed and mattress arrived, and would use the comforter set Skuld had helped Belldandy pick out to go with the new bed, officially making it 'Belldandy's room' rather than what Urd had deemed as 'temporary lodging'.
It was a lot of furniture, and the resulting bill had hurt to look at, but it hadn't hurt as badly as Keiichi thought it might. The mention of Belldandy having her own room and bed and blankets had brought about another of those rare 'almost-smiles' to her face, and Keiichi conveniently forgot about his aching wallet afterwards.
Skuld had requested they stop at a store to grab a quart of milk—whole milk—on the trip back home, and after they'd finally maneuvered the Ugly Beast through the door and into the house, Keiichi had been treated to Chai 'as it should be'. The SEAL didn't care for it much either way, truth be told, but then he'd never been a big tea drinker anyways. He drank it regardless, and Belldandy seemed relieved when he complimented her on its flavor.
Dinner was a simple affair that night, yet what came after it was another new experience Keiichi could add to his 'Big Book of Weird Norn Shit' that night. Urd broke out the Sake he'd gotten per Skuld's suggestion and poured everyone a small glass after dinner. She set a small porcelain glass down beside everyone and filled each cup close to the rim, yet no one drank. Instead, as the goddess returned to her seat, Belldandy got up in her place, brewing more Chai with the black tea Keiichi had gotten and the various spices and milk that went along with it. A strange, peaceful silence had fallen upon the Norns, and sensing there was more happening than just what was visible, Keiichi fell quiet as well, curious but unwilling to break the strange mood that had befallen the sisters.
It was a meditative silence, reflective in a manner that exuded calm. Urd stared into her cup, Skuld's gaze drifted out a window, and Keiichi's own eyes found themselves following the ebb and flow of Belldandy's dress, watching the way the folds of the material would press against her body, hinting at the form concealed within, and then in the next moment flow out, obscuring the possibilities nestled there but letting his imagination fill in the details. It was hypnotic, he realized; a shifting dance that would have been regular and ordinary any other day, yet in this strange mood and in this strange light, it pulled him to and fro, up and down, back and forth like a man on a ship and leaving him with the strange feeling that he was swaying, swaying, swaying to the dance of the sea and her melodic songs.
His body felt like it was rocking with the ocean's current by the time Belldandy finished the Chai, and as her sister prior, the goddess produced large mugs for everyone present, filling them all in a manner almost identical to the still untouched Sake before retaking her seat. And then Skuld stood. As Keiichi guessed, she moved to the freezer and withdrew the small pint of ice cream he'd bought for her. Just as Urd, just as Belldandy, as though by magic she pulled four tiny bowls from the cupboard. Four tiny bowls like four large mugs and four ceramic cups, none of which Keiichi owned in his household possessions and yet seemed to somehow sprout with the needs of the Norns.
She grabbed an ice cream scoop from one of the drawers-of course she did, he didn't own one-and placed first one perfectly round ball of ice cream in each bowl and then a second in each bowl before finally a third…and then she paused, and somehow produced a fourth little ball for everyone present. Four cups, four mugs, four bowls and four scoops. Four was the magic number this night. Not three; no Trio of Norns, not Three Furies, nor three Fates, or Gods. No Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit or Maiden, Mother, and Crone here. No boys and girls, Keiichi of the holy trinity of one-Mortal, Man, and Warrior-was here to join the fun, and that Holy Trinity was now an Unholy Four.
Make way, make way. Today's the day Ol' Keiichi's comes to play. And with a start the SEAL realized, as Skuld passed out the bowls, that he was expected to participate as well. Like it or not, joking or not, he had become part of this strange ritual, whatever it was, and with growing apprehension the man met Belldandy's eyes. I don't know what to do.
And just as easily a response came, as Belldandy met his stare with a level of calm and kindness he'd only seen in his dreams and in the pictures Urd had shown him in what felt like another life. You do. That gaze said. You always knew. From the moment Urd stood up to the moment Skuld sat down. Four, three, two, one-Ichi-Keiichi.
And indeed he did, for as soon as Skuld took her seat Keiichi was up, up and moving around the TV stands with a fluidness that on a normal day was absent from his body. Yet this was no 'normal day', no sir-ee Bob; there was a disconnect between his mind and his body today; a strange feeling that he was a tool guided by different hands than his own, not fully in control of his own actions. Yet where there should have been fear instead there was peace. Ia Ia, Waka Waka, come on home and shake 'dem Tatas. Everything was good and everything was fine, just like that potion had done after it had passed his lips and slid down his throat. Except it was different this time, it was right, and as he opened the cupboard he found exactly what he was looking for, and that was four tiny plates. Tiny little plates he'd never seen except perhaps in his dreams, and they were perfect for what he had in mind.
He distributed them in a tiny little square upon the counter, then went into the pantry, withdrawing a small little bag from where he'd hidden it behind the cans of expired food. He observed the contents inside for only a moment, then closed the pantry behind him and returned to the plates. He stared at the porcelain, and thought, four little plates with four tiny dates, tearing open the plastic and placing a single date on each plate. He went clockwise, from the top, and named off the individuals who'd own the plates once they were ready. Urd, Belldandy, Skuld, Keiichi. Four, three, two, one. Crone, Mother, Maiden, Man. Fire, Air, Water, and Earth. His mind was buzzing now, humming with a strange energy that tingled and made the air seem electrified. The SEAL stared at the plate for Belldandy, then the plate for himself, the two resting opposed to each other. Air and Earth are wrong. Air and Earth are right. His head felt fuzzy, and that rocking motion still filled his body. Crash-swish…crash-swish…crash-swish…
He grabbed the plates, two with each hand, and headed back to where they were seated, for the first time recognizing the fact that they'd maneuvered the tv trays into the same square Keiichi had produced with his plates, Urd at the head, (She faces west towards the setting sun) Belldandy next, (She is cast in high noon's glory towards the north) followed by Skuld (who is east with the rising sun) and finally Keiichi himself (and he is cast in shadow, watching the glory of the gods in the sky above). He deposited them in the same order as he'd arranged the plates and placed the dates, then returned to seal away and store the remaining fruit.
He took his seat and looked over at Belldandy. That strange, peaceful 'feel good' mood had yet to fade, and all he could think was everything is good. Life is good. He stared at the goddess across from him and smiled at her. He felt mellow and relaxed, and judging by the expressions shared by the three sisters around him, they seemed to be in a similar state of being. Belldandy gave him another 'almost-smile', and this one bridged a little bit more across her face; not an 'almost-smile but a 'near-smile'. It stayed like that on her face as the goddess leaned back with a content sigh, and then Urd spoke.
"Mine is the fire of the spirit that burns through the night." She announced. Keiichi looked over to her, finding a peaceful, content smile on her face. "Through thick and thin it sheds the darkness and destroys the poisons, bringing warmth even as it scalds. This I bring in offering, and may its heat guide you when darkness sets in."
"We accept this offer in thanks." They said it all at once, Keiichi included, and together the four of them grabbed the tiny cups and took a sip. To Keiichi if tasted not so much as the sake he'd had whenever he was back home, or even the shitty generic brand he'd gotten in the same store as Skuld's ice cream, but fire; pure, liquid fire that heated his throat and made his eyes water. The man almost thought he saw smoke rise from his nostrils, and he could smell fire-not sake, not smoke, but fire on his breath.
Keiichi what the hell is going on? Some tiny piece of him screamed. He recognized it as the voice of reason, which had slowly been fading more and more into obscurity with every day spent amongst the Norns. What the fuck are you doing?! What are they doing?! What's going on?! He didn't know and didn't care. The calm had set about him like that potion from before, and that feeling that everything was right, everything was fine, did not ebb. Ride the waves, Jankey-Baby. Ride the waves. What did that even mean? Go with the flow. Some part of him told him. Don't think about it. Just let it happen.
They finished their sip, and placed the cups, still mostly full, down beside the mugs, arranged in that same square with Urd at the top and Skuld on the bottom, Belldandy and Keiichi on either side for everyone at their makeshift 'table'. As Urd leaned back Belldandy straightened, her expression once more one of peace and kindness. "Mine is the breath of life that flows through the world," she murmured. "Upon its currents the world shifts and turns, spreading the warmth of the fire and the cool of the water and the fertile earth without discretion. This I bring in offering, and may its dance soothe you when darkness sets in."
"We accept this offer in thanks." They took the mugs with both hands but did not drink. Instead they brought it close and inhaled, and Keiichi smelled hot spices and earthy scents that moistened his nose. Yet there was more, too. Scents he couldn't explain, scents he recognized but couldn't name, scents from all across the globe that he knew in the instant of a breath -animalsplantsmenwomenelementslightdark—and then were lost to him as he exhaled. I just inhaled everything on this planet. He thought to himself, his head woozy as it tried to sort through the information overload, and then he was placing the mug down, Belldandy was leaning back, and Skuld was leaning forward. Oh boy, here we go again! Another wave coming Keiichi, hang ten Bro!
"Mine is the waters that traverse the body." She stated. "Come hot or come cold, from the sky or from the earth, it nourishes all and grants growth for all. Life for you, water for your crops." She looked at them all with a large, exuberant smile on her face, and to Keiichi it seemed as though her eyes glittered with starlight. "Let its currents aid and nurse you, providing you with relief when darkness sets in."
"We accept this offer in thanks." They took a small scoop of ice cream, only it wasn't ice cream anymore. Keiichi wasn't going to let his eyes fool him into believing it was ice cream, because it was white like snow with a tint of blue like a glacier. He'd gotten her a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie. He opened his mouth and took a bite, and oh lordy it felt like he was eating an iceberg, tasting the currents that seeped from a freshwater stream before melting into the heated water of a geyser as the iceberg melted on his tongue. The chill dug icepicks into his brain, and as it faded he could taste the barest hint of salt as an aftertaste. Salt and minerals from the waters found deep underground or within the ocean's current, and he wanted to gasp but couldn't.
Woo-hoo! That was a good one! The voice of insanity whooped. Who's next. Oh! You're next, Janky-Baby! Think you can give these girls a wave like theirs? Keiichi doubted very much he could; he was a man, not a god, but they were all waiting on him expectantly, and like it or not, he was expected to contribute. You've come too far now to back out like a bitch. Time to man up and show 'em what you got, Buddy Boy.
He looked down at the assortment of cups and bowls and plates before him, his eyes drifting to the dates. He pursed his lips, then leaned forward, all at once shy and scared, like a little boy placed in the spotlight on a school play. The Norns, all three of them, watched him without comment, but there was a peace in their face, a kindness to their expressions that encouraged him. It doesn't matter what I say. He realized. So long as it's got meaning behind it. "Mine is the fruit of the earth…" He trailed off, cleared his throat, nervously (like a nervous student when he'd given speeches at Ceremonies and Graduations) then tried again. "It is the fruit of hard labor and reward…grown by the earth and, ah, shared among friends."
Dates… he'd discovered dates during a deployment to Al Udeid. Qatar was a waypoint for various deployers heading for Afghanistan or Iraq, and the surrounding area was largely safe for Americans. He'd gotten the opportunity to go shopping off-base at one of the local stores, and had bartered for a box of imported Iranian dates with one of the locals in the nearby city. They were as sweet as candy, he'd discovered, and had shared the goods among his Team and with additional acquaintances without care. Anything from Iran was banned from American import, and for many of them it was a once in a life time opportunity to sample an Iranian export.
He had a lot of fond memories of that time. Shoot, that had been the last time he'd seen Urd, dressed and disguised as an Airman with her silver hair tied up in a tight sock bun. I shared the dates with her too. He thought. We were having our two nightly beers together-just the two of us, because Urd didn't want to be seen by the rest of the Team. I gave her the last of the dates that night. The look of surprise, and then genuine gratitude she'd displayed to him that night had been endearing, and the sense of comradery they'd shared late into the morning hadn't faded even after she'd left. He'd felt at peace with himself for the first time in what had felt like ages back then, and it had lasted all the way until he'd come home. It was one of the best deployments I'd ever gone on. Easy going and relaxed, and all with good company.
Now, those fond feeling returned to him, and he felt a wide smile spread across his features. "It is product of comradery born upon the earth's surface, soil, and sand." The words were coming easier now, he found, and part of him even started to wonder why he'd been scared in the first place. This was easy. Like planting seeds. "When food is scarce and the nights are long and cold, when there's no fire and you're afraid to draw breath, let this hold the fright at bay and remind you you're not alone when darkness sets in." He looked at them, hopeful, and saw large, joyful smiles on the faces of everyone present, even Belldandy.
He returned it with his own, and just as enthused the Norns announced in great, pealing voices that rang in his ears "We accept this offer in thanks!" As one they took a single date, and as he bit into the fruit it was everything Keiichi knew it would be. Sweet and sour, savory and spicy, moist and dry all at once. He swallowed with them, and all at once the ceremony, the ritual, the mood was broken: Urd rose from her chair with such suddenness that her chair crashed to the floor. She was at his side before Keiichi could blink, laughing and hugging him tightly. Skuld leaped forth with a smile like the Cheshire Cat, wrapping an arm around his neck in a headlock as she gave him a noogie, like she was an older sibling and he the younger who'd just won a football game. Then came Belldandy, at a slower pace but with a rush all the same, and as Urd and Skuld pulled him up and out of his own seat she embraced him with such force and emotion that he found himself lifted off his feet. She beamed up at him; they all did, but of everyone's Belldandy's was the brightest, the kindest, the one that stole his heart and set his dreams dancing.
"Did I do good?" He squeaked, and for a moment all three sisters paused to observe him, then burst out in a laughter that was its own music to his ears. I could listen to that for the rest of my life, he thought, and laughed with them.
"You did wonderful, Keiichi." Urd assured him.
"What was it though?" Keiichi asked, and Belldandy lowered him to his feet. She did not release him from her embrace.
"Yggdrasil," Skuld said. "That was what a direct link-up with Yggdarsil feels like on a shared network, Keiichi." She socked him in the arm good naturedly. "That's why I wanted you to get those items. We needed to link up with Yggdrasil to help purify Belldandy, and hot damn if you didn't go and fucking join us!"
"Wait…what?" Keiichi looked at them all, his smile not fully understanding but happy all the same. Happy because they were happy, Belldandy was happy, and he'd done something to help make that so.
"When we're on another dimension, Yggdrasil is the system that helps sustain us and maintains our bodies to our higher selves," Belldandy explained. "If we don't have the opportunity to properly connect, than the bodies we inhabit begin to decay, first on a spiritual level, then on a mental and finally physical aspect." She held him at arms length, his hands in hers. "Keiichi, I haven't had the opportunity to link up to The World Tree in almost ten years."
"Belldandy was in a toxic environment." Urd stepped in now, her face bright with relief and joy as she tossed an arm around Keiichi's shoulders. "Normally that's okay so long as it isn't for an extended period of time. We bath to help purify ourselves and ensure the link is still strong with the Yggdrasil mainframe, and that keeps us safe in mind, body, and spirit." She shook her head. "But after ten years of that kind of environment…eventually the link starts to corrode, and that corrosion starts feeding down the line to the deity it's connected to. At that point, it doesn't matter how much the god involved purifies herself; it won't be enough because of the corrosion, and eventually that deity will become corrupted and loose their status as a god entirely."
"So what did I do?" Keiichi asked, his smile still the 'I have no idea what's going on' face of a clueless man.
"You helped," Skuld said matter-of-factly, as though those two words alone explained everything. "It won't solve everything…but it's a start. It's a big start, and the fact that you not only trusted us, but contributed to it goes a long way, Magilla. You helped, you joined in, and the corrosion is stopped. It means Belldandy can start healing for real now."
"It does?" He looked at them all, and in that moment found himself in awe by their presence. The Norns were literally glowing. Not the glow of healthy skin, but a glow of an aura, one he could see and which shined upon their brows clear as day on a sunny morning. I'm in the presence of the divine, he thought. And for the first time since meeting Urd, that fact, that reality, hit him like a ton of bricks. I'm in the presence of the divine, and I'm helping.
He was doing a good like none other, and with a laugh, this time he embraced Belldandy, then laughed harder when the goddess didn't recoil at his touch. Does this mean she trusts me? Some shy piece of him wondered, and he looked up at the goddess, for the first time seeing the pure, unadulterated love in her face.
It does. That same voice responded. You bet your ass it does.
XXX
Belldandy still decided she was going to stay up all night. "I said I would, for your own aide," she explained.
"But you need to rest," Skuld replied. "Please? The reconnection with Yggdrasil is still new and weak. Sleep will help strengthen the bond."
For once Urd held her peace. Instead her eyes remained glued on Keiichi, following him as the man brought up his laptop from downstairs with an external hard drive. Keiichi tried to ignore her gaze. Urd, I don't know what you're expecting me to do, but stop it, he thought. I'm not a mind reader, despite my earlier performance.
Whatever had connected their minds so easily, that 'shared network on the Yggdrasil Mainframe', was gone now, and that eerie sense that he was not in control of his own actions was gone, replaced with 'Keiichi' once more. The man found he was both relieved and disappointed. While it felt good to be 'himself' again, the peace and the feeling of 'rightness' had dissipated soon afterwards, and with it so too had that elusive, mystifying, goddamned fucking beautiful smile. I'd kill for that smile. He found himself thinking at one point, and then laughed at his own thoughts. Love made monsters of all men, it seemed, and Keiichi was no different. Don't matter. Just means I got to work twice as hard for Heaven's Grace, he decided, and smiled at the challenge. It wasn't even an entire loss, either. Belldandy decided she was going to stay true to her word and that meant Keiichi would stay true to his and join her.
I get to stay up all night with the woman I love, he thought, and despite himself he couldn't hold back the silly, puppy-like glee at the prospect of being alone with Belldandy for a full night. It really is like a slumber party. Mom and Auntie are upstairs asleep and I'm downstairs with the girl I like, sneaking peaks at her breasts and trying to be discreet and get a kiss. Shit, I'm no better than Keigo right now.
"Oi, Loverboy, ground control to Major Tom, do you read me?" He blinked, then started as he focused on a pair of bright violet eyes an inch from his nose. "You listening?"
"Nope!" The SEAL chirped, and smiled as the goddess groaned and leaned back from him. "Drifted off, totally missed it. What'd you say?"
"I said you're as lovesick as a teenager," Urd grumbled in distaste. "Listen Jank, take tonight in stride, okay? I know you don't understand a lot of what we did back there after dinner-if you understood any of it-"
"I didn't."
"I figured." She sighed and sent him a look, but he could see the hint of a grin on the corners of her mouth. Ah, that fabled Norn Almost-Smile. Truly he must be blessed to have witnessed not one, but two such legendary expressions from two of the three deities within a day of each other. "Just know this, Jank. We did a lot of good for Belldandy today. At the same time however, don't expect too much from her tonight. Rome wasn't built in a day, and what we did only repaired the link with Yggdrasil. It didn't change anything regarding her actual experience with the Fucknugget-"
Keiichi laughed abruptly. "Fucknugget? Is that what you call him now?"
"Focus Keiichi," siad Urd as she bopped him on the side of his head with her hand. She tried very hard to sound annoyed, but he saw that the Almost-Smile had evolved into a Near-Smile now, so she obviously wasn't too annoyed with him. "She'll still have nightmares, Jank, and she's still going to be the same stubborn woman we've all come to know and love, but that doesn't mean you can't still try and make her laugh. Show her Monty Python, tell her stories from your deployments, but keep your filter on, play games with her and be prepared to get your ass handed to you."
She paused, her gaze thoughtful, then nodded. "Actually, yeah. If all that fails, start playing some games on your computer or something, and don't tell me that giant beast isn't some gaming laptop with a bunch of emulators on it." She pointed to the black laptop under Keiichi's arm. "Play some kind of competitive game with her. Put it on its most difficult setting and let her loose. The Belldandy I know and love was insanely competitive, and I'm willing to bet this one is no different. You just need to loosen her up a bit."
"I got it," Keiichi nodded. "Never knew she was into that sort of thing. I tried playing chess with her a while ago, but I didn't really get anything from her."
"Show her some stupid movies and silly videos," Urd suggested, ignoring his comment. "It might lighten her up a bit and have her take a game more seriously. Let her beat you a couple of times to see that you won't loose your shit on her."
"Okay, that sounds like a good idea," he nodded, and Urd pat his shoulder. "Are you going to get some more rest?"
She nodded tightly. "Since there's now two vacant beds, I'm stealing yours while Skuld takes Belldandy's. If I'm lucky I'll sleep like the dead and won't wake up for half a decade, but who can say?"
The SEAL nodded. He was well-versed in sleep deprivation and the deep sleep that came when the head finally hit the pillow. "Sleep well, Urd." She nodded at him, and the man scowled, making her pause. "Before you go…"
"What's up?"
"Back in the dining room, after we did that…thing. You mentioned that Belldandy was being corrupted," he said. "What did you mean by that?"
Urd's expression fell into a careful neutral, and the woman observed him in a long, heavy silence. At length, she spoke. "What happens to corrupted data?" She asked.
"You lose it," Keiichi said. "If you can't recover it, then that data is gone forever." He frowned at his own words, brows furrowing together as he meditated on the meaning. "You mean-"
"Good Night Keiichi," Urd interrupted. "You did a good thing for my little sister today, and for that, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek; a small peck, a sisterly kiss, yet one that startled him by the sheer gratitude and affection that came with it. "Watch out for her tonight for me." She straightened and winked at the SEAL, then proceeded towards the stairs. "I'm trusting her to you in my stead."
He watched her depart in silence, then returned to the living room with Belldandy and Skuld. For a moment he paused in the threshold, observing the duo in a new light. Neither of the Norns noticed him. I never saw it. He thought. Since she came here there was never any signs that anything was wrong. Not like... not like that. It'd been a week since she'd come to his house though, and they'd done nothing in that week. Nothing until...Nothing until Skuld gave me that task. Was it that nightmare that gave Belldandy away? Or did Skuld just notice something that none of us did? The goddess in question was trying to convince Belldandy to go knock it off, cut it out, go to sleep because 'its for your own good'. The great and terrible 'Theys' of the world make their inevitable return. Keiichi thought, and shook his head. Belldandy looked no closer to backing down now then she had before their little 'link-up', though she certainly seemed more vocal about it.
Vocal and glowing. He thought, listening with half an ear as Belldandy argued back just as hard. Urd's right. There's a life to her now that just wasn't…present before. It's like a fire that was reduced to smoldering embers, and was rekindled because someone had the sense to feed it.
Deciding to save Skuld from loosing any more face, Keiichi stepped into the room. "Give it up, Poodle, you aren't getting anywhere this round." The goddess scowled at him, and he smirked. "It can't do any harm to let Belldandy try, can it?" he inquired. "I mean, she's a grown woman! I'm pretty sure she can decide for herself what's good for her or not." He sent a meaningful glance to the Middle Norn, who almost sighed with relief.
Finally, someone who listens to reason. He almost heard the words in the sigh, and Skuld grit her teeth, sending him another glare that would have peeled paint if he was a house.
"One of these days, Magilla—"
"You'll curl your hair and start yapping, and then you really will be a poodle." Keiichi finished for her.
Skuld turned scarlet. "Oh, that's it motherfucker, it's on."
"Skuld!" Belldandy snapped, and the younger Norn flinched. Keiichi started too. That was a new tone. "Honestly, I love you, but I grow sick of being treated as a despondent dependent!" The middle Norn fixated a glare on her sister, and Keiichi could almost see Skuld's hair stand on edge. "Please, allow me a moment to think for myself for a change, as it has been so denied to me for the past ten years! With how you act, it's almost as though Mother were here herself and scolding me as a child once more."
The flush on Skuld's face deepened almost to a dark shade of purple, and the younger woman froze, mouth hanging open and gaping like a fish out of water. Keiichi's brows shot up in surprise, wondering what he'd just witnessed as Skuld finally managed to shut her mouth. "…I'm going to bed now." She said, her face showing a flush of embarrassment so great it could not be withstood. She passed Keiichi with such a rush the man half-expected to see her legs blur like some old Looney Tunes character. The man kept himself well out of her path, just in case the character she was emulating was Taz, but Skuld didn't even spare him a second glance.
He let out a low, appreciative whistle as the goddess hastened up the stairs and out of sight. "What was that about?" he asked, then followed with, "…What do I have to say to get that kind of response from her?"
"I'd prefer not to say." Belldandy grimaced. "Please, can we focus on something else?"
"Sure." Keiichi reasoned, and just like that felt a silly grin fall on his face. "So, what would you like to do first?" he asked. "We've got games, movies, television shows, whatever trips your trigger." He'd set up one of the cleared TV stands from earlier next to the flatscreen, and it was there he sat his computer, opening the laptop and connecting an HDMI cable to one of the outputs. The man turned the tv on, and Belldandy watched with a start as a screen identical to the laptop appeared.
Keiichi logged in to his computer, and with a happy little chirp the screen changed to his desktop, displaying a large picture of four people in the background. Belldandy recognized one of them as a younger Keiichi. The others she guessed were his siblings. One was so young that he was still a boy.
"You have a movie genre you like?" Keiichi asked.
Belldandy blinked, and with a start tore her gaze away from where she'd been examining the faces on the screen. "Sorry, no," she said. "Movies…never held much appeal for me."
Keiichi looked over his shoulder, his gaze thoughtful. "Do you mind me asking what kind of movies you watched?"
Belldandy pursed her lips, for a moment looking uncomfortable. Then she sighed. "I suppose…samurai movies were something…" What was he to her now? Her ex? Aoshima? Master?"
"That something Fucknugget enjoyed?" Keiichi asked, using Urd's latest nickname for the man in question.
Belldandy's jaw dropped in surprise, her eyes wide. "I'm sorry?!" she cried. "Are you referring to-"
"Your ex?" Keiichi continued. "The Buttplug? Ass Wagon? Dick for Brains?" Belldandy's jaw dropped, and Keiichi paused. "…Would you prefer I called him by his real name?"
"I—no, I-" A fresh wave of horror descended on her. "No! I mean, yes, I mean-" She stared at him, her hands pumping up and down as her cheeks darkened.
Keiichi laughed. "Okay, I get it," he said. "I get it. We just won't speak about him, okay?" He turned back to his computer, connected the hard drive to a USB port, and pulled up the connected drive. "You ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?" He asked. "That was the first Monty Python movie I ever saw. I didn't get it at first, because the humor was so different from American humor, but it grew on me after a while." He smiled at her, and for a moment Belldandy felt her heart flutter in her chest.
"I have not," she admitted. On top of his love for Samurai movies and martial arts movies, Aoshima had a strong dislike of anything Western, probably due to his ties to the Yakuza. The only thing he ever allowed that had even a hint of Western influence were the business associates working with his front company, and the types of girls he enjoyed for his…hobbies, and even those were for a business venture. Slavic girls in particular turned out to be a very marketable stock, she'd had the misfortune of learning. Belldandy had taken steps to put an end to that as quickly as possible.
"Well, you're in for a treat." Keiichi said, turning and rummaging through his virtual files before opening one marked Monty Python. He double clicked a video file, and second screen popped up and expanded, revealing the opening credits. A large, gleeful smile on his face, the man snaked over to the Ugly Beast, where he let himself fall onto the cushions. "Read the subtitles, read the opening credits, read as much as possible. Trust me, it's worth it." Thundering music began to issue from the flatscreen's speakers, and Belldandy looked at him in question. The smile did not fade. If anything, it attempted to grow larger still, and the Norn was reminded of an eager little boy showing off his prized possessions to the lady he had a crush on.
He's adorable when he smiles like that, she thought. Despite the mass of muscles and the hardness of experience, despite the scars and gruff, scruffy appearance he portrayed after having not shaved for a full day, when he smiled like that his entire appearance changed. The hard SEAL that was the man who'd rescued her a week ago vanished, and in its place was the gentle youth she'd watch grow up ten years prior. No wonder he was married, she thought for a moment. With a smile like that, he'd steal the heart of even the goddess of love and war, harlot though she is.
She turned back to the screen, contemplating the wisdom of perhaps, maybe, just maybe edging a little closer to him, and then began reading the text as it appeared on screen.
And it was of course at that point that all such romantic thoughts fled her being as she caught some of the subtitles that appeared on screen. "Wait..." She blinked, wondering if her eyes were deceiving her or if perhaps there was something wrong with the language transceiver that allowed her to speak with Keiichi. Unnoticed by her, Keiichi was watching her with absolute glee, almost beside himself with excitement as he watched her reaction. "Why are there Swedish subtitles." She paused, staring in confusion as 'Wik' appeared at the bottom of the screen. Her brows furrowed in concentration, and a heavy frown slid across her face. "See…the…loveli…lakes?" Wait, that wasn't Swedish. That was…well, Belldandy didn't know what it was, but it certainly wasn't Swedish.
"What?" The Norn looked back at Keiichi. Yet the SEAL did nothing but smile that same silly smile and pointed back to the screen, and with growing bemusement Belldandy returned her attention to it. 'A moose once bit my sister.' Scrolled along the bottom, and the woman's jaw dropped as an entire paragraph detailing the event appeared on the next credits line. "What?!" The music fizzled out on the next scene, and a message apologizing for the subtitles and detailing those responsible being sacked appeared. "What on earth-" The music began to start up again, this time with high, musical chimes, another strange 'subtitle that was not' appeared, and then the music faded a second time, detailing the sacking of the sackers. Again it started up again, and Belldandy was not blind to the credit detailing an individual who'd trained a moose (perhaps the one that bit the sackee's sister) appear with some absurd long name. I wish a moose bit my ex-husband rather than that individual's sister, she found herself moose credits appeared on screen, followed by a third and final fizzle out of the message detailing the sacking of those responsible for subtitles, credits, and directors, and the music that started next was wild, chaotic, and accompanied with flashing red and yellow backgrounds and the mentions of llamas.
Belldandy looked at Keiichi in astonishment. "This is the movie you wanted me to see?" Was this how all Western movies started? This-this absurdity?!
Keiichi just stared at her. "It gets better." There was laughter in his voice and his eyes danced with mirth, and uncertain of what to say, Belldandy turned back to the movie. Oh…oh, it was going to be a long, long night.
It got better. Keiichi said it would and he was right, just like the man who'd somehow recovered from being turned into a newt. Belldandy even recalled the exact moment it got better while she was sitting next to him. King Arthur and his crew armed with coconuts had approached a palace, a huge, impenetrable fortress lined with large, towering stone walls. Belldandy had immediate thoughts of Aoshima and his own modern-fortress, and the memories had been an unpleasant trip down memory lane. Keiichi seemed oblivious to how the European castle's appearance soured her mood, but Belldandy had done nothing in the past ten years if not learn how to internalize her own thoughts and emotions. Keiichi seemed to honestly be enjoying the movie, glancing at her every couple of minutes as though ensuring she witnessed some scene of absurdity, some bit of madness or some piece of depravity that seemed to be the entirety of the movie. She didn't want to spoil it for him with her own distaste as she took a trip down memory lane.
And then the French appeared.
Atop the castle walls they stood, harassing King Arthur and his band of knights as they attempted to storm the palace, launching every poor insult in the book they could think of at the English with such terrible accents that Belldandy had to snort back a laugh of her own. Bad as it was, the way the Frenchmen were portrayed somehow brought to mind Aoshima's horrible attempts at English, and the way his business partners would snicker and bite back laughter during meetings conducted in his front market. The fact that they then had the horrible sense to throw all their livestock and then what appeared to be sewage at the English only helped solidify the mental resemblance of the man's poor decisions in his life, and she had to bite back laughter in the hopes that Keiichi didn't notice.
If he did, he pretended not to. She appreciated that.
There was a black knight, too. A black knight who's prowess marveled King Arthur, and despite herself she found her eyes straying to Keiichi, recalling his rescue of her that fateful night and the black stealth armor he'd worn to protect himself. Of course, that image was shattered after King Arthur cut off the Black Knights arms and legs, and she had to make a mental note to scrub the comparison from her mind. Keiichi roared with laughter beside her, and against her hardest efforts she felt a small, tiny smile squirm upon her face.
The sudden musical interlude with the Knights of the Round Table had been unexpected, and, after the rest of the movie had progressed, Belldandy again found herself snorting when the knights dancing on a table cut away, showed a brief image of a thin, deprived prisoner strung up and clapping gaily, then returned to the knights. "Oh goodness it's my life in a movie." She buried her face in her hands with a moan that wanted desperately to be a laugh, and Keiichi laughed beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. She didn't pull away. Thank Yggdrasil for small blessings.
"Let's not go to Camelot. 'Tis a silly place," King Arthur said, and Belldandy found she agreed with him wholeheartedly.
Let's forget about Aoshima. 'Tis a silly man, she thought to herself, and smiled into her hands.
There was a wizard named Tim with a pass time for explosions. "You sure that's not Skuld's dad?" Keiichi whispered to her. "And Urd's? They both seem to have a penchant for blowing stuff up."
"You're incorrigible," she moaned, but the grin did not fade. She'd not gotten it to go away since Camelot.
A terrible White Rabbit was defeated with a Holy Hand Grenade. "Think Lind uses those?" Keiichi winked at her.
"I doubt that poor woman even knows what a grenade is," she replied. "You'd have better luck finding such a thing in Skuld's inventory."
It riled a chuckle from him, and towards the scene with the Bridge of Death, Belldandy found herself leaning into Keiichi. "Wait, is the 'Old Man from Scene 24' blind in both eyes?" She whispered, and then grimaced as she watched first one knight, then another get thrown over the bridge with a boooing.
"Yep," Keiichi replied. Like all the times prior, he pretended not to hear the snort that arose when King Arthur answered a question with a question of his own, and watched as the old man himself was cast over the Bridge of Death with a similar boooing to the knights.
"This movie is ridiculous, Keiichi." It was small, but there was a hint of laughter in her voice.
"I know," he replied. "But that's what makes it so entertaining."
The night was still young by the time the movie was finished with an abrupt and final ending. The police coming in and arresting King Arthur and his knights was baffling, and as it had started, so too did it leave Belldandy staring gape-mouthed at the television. "That's it?" she cried, looking for verification from the man at her side. "Honestly? There's nothing after? Nothing at all?"
"That's it," Keiichi said. "Nothing but a bunch of loons apprehended after escaping the loony bin, and this after murdering that one old guy."
She stared at him. "I…was wondering about that…" she mumbled. "That…that was by far, the strangest thing I have ever seen." She paused, and then frowned. "I feel so…unsatisfied." She looked at him again. "No holy grail? Just like that? Not only did they fail but there wasn't one in the first place?" Even the ending battle was anticlimactic. She…how was she supposed to feel after that? It's like sex with Aoshima, some stray piece of her thought. Anticlimactic and disappointing. Right towards the end it even becomes pitiful. She flushed at her own thoughts, surprised that such a thought would even transgress through her mind in such a manner.
"You good?" Keiichi looked down at her with a grin.
"Ah, yes…just a strange thought is all," she said uneasily. He looked at her in question, but with her silence he didn't press.
"How about we try something else." He rose from the Ugly Beast with an enormous groan and stretching his arms above his head. His shirt curled up around his waist, and Belldandy risked a quick glance at the flash of abdomen, catching a hint of muscle beneath the skin. Her eyes darted up to the man's face before he caught her staring, and letting his arms drop Keiichi headed back to his computer. "You want to try some videogames?" he asked. "Help ease out of the silliness of Camelot and its knights for a bit?"
Belldandy pursed her lips. "What did you have in mind?" she asked. Games of any type were something Aoshima held a great fondness for...in particular when he was winning. He lost his temper when he was losing, and people-good people-tended to get hurt when he lost his temper. Keiichi she knew wasn't that same type of person, but the memories, like so many other things, spoiled the mood.
Keiichi planted his hands on his hips, staring down at his computer and then over at a black gorilla box that he'd come to use as a storage container. "Well…" he started. "I was originally thinking of introducing you to Mario Kart, because it's a fun multiplayer game, but then I thought better of it. That games makes enemies of the closest of friends and family 'cause it's got this weird 'boomerang' or 'slingshot' mechanic to it."
"I…don't know what that is," Belldandy admitted.
Keiichi looked back at her and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't either," he said. "It's something Keigo tried to explain to me once-Keigo's my little brother, by the way-and he said that it's got this habit of giving the best items to people in last place, so that right towards the end people who absolutely suck at the game can make this amazing comeback, usually with a blue shell or a lightning bolt that just annihilates whoever's in first. It ain't real' fair, so I figured we'd better try something else."
He closed his laptop and unhooked it from the HDMI port, then moved to the black gorilla box, popped it open, and withdrew a small rectangular box. "I heard you like challenges though, and…let me see here, I know Keigo left it here during his last visit…ah, here we go." He took out a plastic case, and her curiosity getting the better of her, Belldandy leaned over from where she sat atop the Ugly Beast.
"What is 'Dark Souls'?" she asked.
Keiichi looked over his shoulder at her with a slow smile. "A challenge," he said simply as he connected wires to the console resting before the television. "I'm not really good at it myself. Keigo called me a 'filthy casual' once, but I don't know or care what that means." He gave a tiny half-shrug. "I'm not that into videogames-I prefer hobbies that keep me up and moving-but Keigo and Aiko play them, and that one war game I got-what was it, Battlefield or Call of Duty?-either way, they play that too, and we can all play together online, which is real fun, even though I can't hit the broad side of a barn with the guns in those games."
He pried the plastic case open. A name was written in kanji at the top of the disk, and Keiichi smiled before showing it to Belldandy. "Keigo was born in America, unlike my old ass. He thinks kanji is the coolest thing since the invention of a freezer, and he's always tagging his stuff with the characters that make up his name. Somehow this makes him 'super popular' at school, and kids are always hounding him to write their names in kanji too." He smirked and shook his head. "It's cute. Kid eats that shit up, the dork."
Removing the disk from the compartment, he slid it to the front of the console, and Belldandy watched with a single raised eyebrow as the machine ate the disk and the display on the flatscreen once more changed. He grabbed a black controller and scrolled over to a monitor depicting the videogame on screen, then selected it before returning to the couch. "So, want to make your own Black knight?"
He offered her the controller, and biting her lip, Belldandy took it, hesitation seeping into her features as she took the offered item. "My own…knight?" Tis but a flesh wound! Rang through her head in the voice of the Black Knight, as she stared at Keiichi pensively. "What do you mean?"
"Exactly that," Keiichi said. "I don't know much about the game, to be honest. I never made past the tutorial. But from what I know of it, you create a knight or some other medieval guy and then go fight off all these monsters and stuff. There's something about a fire, a bunch of zombie-looking dudes, some dragons, all sorts of stuff."
Belldandy stared at him. "Uh…huh."
"Just try it," Keiichi urged. "It can't hurt, right?"
"I supposed…" Belldandy trailed off, looking down at the controller held in her hand, then at the television. The controller felt large and awkward in her hands. It was at the start menu for the game, which held an ominous darkness to it which seemed fitting for a game entitled 'Dark Souls'. Looking down at her controller, the goddess experimentally pressed a button, and was rewarded as the screen gave way to a New Game and character creation model.
"I can create an avatar?" she asked with a start, and beside her Keiichi nodded.
"You can make it look like whoever you want," he said.
"I see." She stared at him, then back at the character model. After further experimenting with the controls and gaining a feel for how the game handled, Belldandy began to customize her character.
Two hours later.
Keiichi didn't have the heart to tell her that the man she was trying so hard to design in his own image wouldn't be seen all that often. Most of the game would be seen from the character's back, with the virtual avatar adorned in some kind of armor. The character didn't look exactly like him, but it was probably as close as the game would come to it's own digital Keiichi, and he had to give Belldandy credit for her effort.
"You didn't want to make…you?" Keiichi asked, watching as she named her avatar, hit yes, and the game rolled through its introduction.
"No," Belldandy said. She watched the screen with mild interest. "I am no knight."
Keiichi raised an eyebrow. "And I am?"
Belldandy looked him dead in the eye. "You are," she said. "You are my knight. The knight who saved me."
Keiichi fell silent, for a moment at a loss of what to say. Belldandy looked back to the screen, and deciding that for now silence was the better answer, Keiichi did as well.
The screen shifted to a coffin, and the lid slid open, displaying a hollow-eyed would-be Keiichi as the Undead crawled out. "Wait…this isn't the character model I made." Belldandy's brows furrowed together, and she looked to Keiichi for an explanation. The man shrugged his shoulders. Lips pursed in confusion, the goddess once more turned her attention to her avatar, moving him around with the joystick and testing out the abilities he had. At some point, she started to head down the only path available to her, and as she moved patches of red appeared on her path, detailing the controls when prompted.
The goddess seemed to catch a feel for the controls quickly enough, and by the time the first opponent appeared on screen, a hollow-eyed zombie like her own character, she disposed of it with relative ease. Same with the next several opponents, though some sort of monstrous ice dragon had caught her off guard and eaten up a chunk of her health. She was quick to ensure a repeat event did not happen afterwards.
"This does not seem so bad," Belldandy said. She looked up at Keiichi, and on her face was an expression he'd never seen before. It took him a moment to recognize it for what it was; Competitiveness.
You said this would be a challenge. Where is it? I demand entertainment, he imagined her saying, and smirked. "Git Good," he said, leaning back as Belldandy leaned forward, face heavy and dark with concentration. Oh sweet Summer Child, don't you feel it in the air? Winter is coming.
There were a couple of instances where Belldandy was startled by some hollow-eyed opponents dropping out of no where upon her, but she'd learned to dodge early on and was quick to switch out any old gear for new, better gear. Keiichi watched it all in relative silence. He'd never seen this side of Belldandy before, and he couldn't help but be entertained by the vast array of facial expressions the Norn ran through without thought. There was the deep, 'I see nothing but the game' concentration. The startled 'Where the hell did this fucker come from' shock. The 'holy shit I almost died' look of relief. And the one Keiichi himself was well-versed in when he'd attempted to play the game: 'Roll, roll, roll, roll bitch!'
It didn't take long for her to come across the tutorial's boss. At first Belldandy didn't seem to think anything of it. She rushed in without hesitation, drawing the sword from a large goliath of a man called Iduex Gundyr, and then began swinging madly. She managed to score a couple of hits on the tutorial boss's form, and then Gundyr rose, the music changed, and the intimidating figure decided it was time to take a piece out of Sir Keiichi's ass. He struck Sir Keiichi with a large spear in hand, a chunk of Belldandy's health vanished, and with a scowl on Belldandy's face the Keiichi on screen retreated.
'Tis but a flesh wound! She darted in, attempting another strike, and succeeding with a small wound on her opponent. Yet this time she was not fast enough to avoid the immediate counter, and with a series of consecutive strikes Sir Keiichi fell dead to the ground. YOU DIED appeared in large, red letters, and blinking Belldandy leaned back, watching as her character respawned at a bonfire a small distance from Gundyr's realm. "…Hmm."
Keiichi watched her from the corner of his eye, and with a tight grimace Belldandy once more set out to the tutorial boss, disposing of respawned enemies and collecting additional souls along the way. She got a little further this time, taking the opportunity to roll like Link across Hyrule Field as she gained a stronger feel for the Gundyr's attack patterns, dipping in when an opening appeared and dipping out just as fast. After a good chunk of its health was gone, around three-fourths or so, the boss underwent some sort of ghastly transformation, and as half of its body bulged grotesquely into some sort of huge, oily black serpent, Belldandy yelped, Sir Keiichi was swatted like a fly, and as he fell dead once more the words YOU DIED arose on the screen.
"Okay…" The goddess licked her lips, then hunkered forward. "This time. This time for certain."
This is the most adorable thing I've ever seen her do, Keiichi thought, finding his eyes drawn less and less to his virtual self and more and more towards Belldandy.
It took a while; a good thirty minutes if Keiichi was to judge, but on the third go-around Belldandy defeated the monstrous beast, and the victorious smile that alighted her face was almost savage in its glee. She lit a bonfire and proceeded onwards after collecting the souls she'd lost in Sir Keiichi's prior lives. Then through the doors she went to the next area where, ten minutes later, off a cliff Sir Keiichi rolled as an agile opponent with a large, poisonous sword forced Belldandy back.
YOU DIED.
Belldandy stared at the screen, watched Sir Keiichi respawn near the fallen Gundyr's bonfire, and then sighed and continued on once more. Keiichi was tempted to ask if it was challenging enough for her yet, then noticed the Norn's scowl, and thought better of it. At some point she reached the Fire Link Shrine, where she lit a bonfire, met a strange, creepy NPC called Fire Keeper, and leveled up for the first time. At the High Wall of Lothric she came across her first dragon, and watched as Sir Keiichi fell to its broad arc of flames when she tried to dash through an opening.
YOU DIED
Following that she found a mimic. It proceeded to eat her as she stared at the moving chest in confusion.
YOU DIED.
Keiichi glanced at his watch, startled to see it was nearing one forty-five in the morning. Had they really spent so much time in the game? She's a persistent woman, I'll give her that. And a quick learner, too. The game had shown her its brutal streak and little by little she'd adapted and overcome the game's mechanics. She proceeded slowly, rolling in and then out of boxes, striking treasures chests to ensure they weren't mimics, and at times rolling and blocking for what felt like ages before growing comfortable enough with a new enemy's attack patterns to attempt a strike of her own.
When the goddess finally recovered the souls of Sir Keiichi's last death and reached a new bonfire, Keiichi announced, "How about we take a break for a while?"
Belldandy jumped, then looked at him, her eyes wide. She'd been concentrating so hard on the game that she'd forgotten the man sitting next to her. "But I'm not done yet."
Both of Keiichi's brows shot up in surprise. "Belldandy, you don't have to beat the game in one night," he said. "It wasn't designed for that."
"It wasn't?" She stared at him peculiarly. She looked back at the game, but Sir Keiichi appeared to be in a safe enough location where he didn't need to worry about monsters ending his delicate life.
Keiichi shook his head. "Nope. Most video games these days aren't. They're meant to be enjoyed in increments. You can come back to it later on, but I think now would be a good idea to take a break and try something else. What do you say?" In truth, that last death spawned a look on Belldandy's face that made Keiichi fear for his TV. The goddess looked for a moment like she was contemplating the wisdom of chucking the controller at the screen.
Now, she frowned, looked at him, then back at the screen. Evidently she must have realized a break was in order as well, for with a sigh she nodded and handed to controller over to Keiichi, who proceeded to end the game and turn off the console. "Good challenge?" he asked her, and with a small bit of reluctance, she nodded.
"Yes…good challenge."
Keiichi nodded. "I'm going to grab us some drinks, then we'll see what else we can do, alright?"
The goddess nodded in confirmation, and Keiichi went into the kitchen and retrieved two root beers from the fridge. Upon returning to the Ugly Beast, the SEAL offered one of the cans to Belldandy. She stared at it for a long moment. "Want me to grab you something else?" he asked.
The goddess blinked, then shook her head. "Ah, no, that won't be necessary." She took the offered drink, and with a sigh Keiichi plopped down beside her, digging out his phone and unlocking it. Belldandy peered over at him with a side glance, then popped open the root beer. It hissed and fizzled as the carbonation trapped inside escaped, and Keiichi looked over at her with a smile.
"So, which one of you got the Old Spice stuff at the store last week?" he asked.
"Urd," Belldandy replied, taking a sip as Keiichi balanced the phone on his lap before popping open his own can. "I believe her exact words were, 'I'll get all the men and the ladies this way'."
Keiichi choked on his drink, almost snorting out soda, and Belldandy looked at him in fresh concern, pounding his back as he coughed and sputtered. The man waved her off, as the coughing fit subsided into laughter. "She would say something like that," he rasped, then fell into a second coughing fit.
"Are you alright?" Belldandy eyed him with concern, and he smiled and nodded, the coughs fading somewhat as he turned his attention to his phone. He pulled up an app Belldandy had come to recognize from her socializing with the guards-YouTube-and resting the can between his legs the man tapped something into the search bar.
"You've probably never seen the Old Spice commercials then, huh?" he asked, and at Belldandy's blank stare he smiled. "Ready for more stupidity as introduced by yours truly?"
She stared at him in alarm. "More Monty Python?"
"Better."
The goddess stared at him. "I'm not sure if I should feel encouraged or frightened by that," she confessed, and Keiichi chuckled. He selected a video, and leaned over to Belldandy. Torn between the possibility of another absurd video and being closer to Keiichi, the goddess decided on the former and leaned towards the man as well. He tilted the screen a bit so she could better see it, and Belldandy stared in confusion over what she saw. "I…don't understand."
It was a large, shirtless black man on screen. He was yelling something about…Old…Spice? And there were explosions in the background and karate chops and yelling, so much yelling, all the yelling. "OLD SPICE BODY WASH PROVIDES SIXTEEN HOURS OF ODER BLOCKING POWEEEERRR!" he screamed, and then the camera switched to-Belldandy recoiled, her eyes wide. Was that supposed to be a tiger? With a human mouth? Why was it screaming? Why was the large intimidating black man screaming? Why were they both screaming over Old Spice body wash?! Why was the large intimidating, admittedly handsomely toned black man riding a stuffed fake tiger with a human mouth? Did-did he just flex his pectoral muscles?!
Belldandy tore her eyes from the phone and stared up at Keiichi. "Are you trying my sanity?" she demanded.
"Keep watching," Keiichi said, and sure enough the video moved into another…episode? Commercial? What in the Nine Worlds was this? Now the man was just standing there, screaming again about his Old Spice stuff and holding up the product he was advertising. It zoomed in on his armpit to what she assumed was a poor rendition of what mortals believed the inside of an armpit was. There he was again, the same terrifying screaming black man, and again it zoomed in, this time to that same man kicking back on a beach bed with some other man lying out next to him.
"What...?" The new man inhaled, commented on the freshness of it, and then the camera zoomed out, away from lounge chair man, away from armpit in armpit man, and back to the original man. "Keiichi, what on earth is this? Who is this man? Why is he screaming?!" Explosions erupted in the background of the next commercial. "Why are there explosions?!"
"Why not?" Keiichi grinned over at her, however Belldandy at this point was too bewildered to notice. "Hmm…maybe Terry Crews is more down Urd's path…" In the video the man flexed his pecks again, and Belldandy leaned back, eyes wide with something that looked like thinly-veiled horror and awe. Her hands began to tremble as she tore herself away and brought the can of root beer to her mouth, taking a long pull from it. As the fizzy liquid slid down her throat, she suppressed the urge to belch.
Whatever this stuff was (root beer he called it?), it was starting to make her feel a little good. Something almost like a buzz was stirring up in her mind, and Belldandy found she didn't mind it too much. It was kind of nice, truth be told. She returned her attention to the screen on Keiichi's phone. Now there was a man standing with a tennis racket. A tennis racket while standing on a whale. And he was batting balls with a tennis racket while standing on a whale. Now there were people taking his picture standing on the back of that same whale while he was hitting tennis balls with his racket. And now there were balls coming out of the whale's blow hole and he was hitting them with a bat while people were taking his picture while hitting tennis balls with his racket. And then he was blind-folded.
While wearing sunglasses.
And the whale was wearing sunglasses.
The whole thing made her head spin. Or was it the root beer? Don't know, might as well take another drink. Who knows, maybe my head is buzzing because it's about to explode at the command of Mr. Screaming Man. She felt an absurd little giggle slip from her throat at the mental image that accompanied the thought. Another pull on the can and it was empty.
Belldandy looked at Keiichi. He was saying something, but she was not quite sure what. That's because her focus was on his ear where the Screaming Man from before was peaking out. How did you escape the phone? she asked him.
"KEIICHI MORISATO HAS GOT THE POWEEEERRR!"
Can Keiichi flex like this man? she wondered idly. As the little man disappeared in a blaze of glory, her gaze fell back to the phone. Gone was the man, whale, audience. It was replaced by a Handsome Man wearing nothing but a towel and standing in a bathroom. "Hello ladies." Oh my, he had a voice like Apollo. Dark chocolate, she thought, and another silly giggle slipped out. "Look at your man, now back to me, now back to your man, now back to me." Belldandy found herself following his instructions as he called them out.
Keiichi.
Handsome Man.
Keiichi.
Handsome Man.
"Sadly, he isn't me," said the handsome man.
And I'm OK with that, was her next thought. I always did prefer mochi to chocolate. That earned a straight up laugh from the Norn, and for the life of her Belldandy couldn't say why. Her gaze fell back on Keiichi, who was still watching his phone, this time with a noticeably larger grin, and she felt her face flush red. In her eyes, that Handsome Man paled in comparison to her Black Knight.
As if the mere thought of him had conjured him, the Handsome Man seemed levitated up from out of Keiichi's short cropped hair. He was holding out his hand, palm up. Standing in it was a small bottle of what appeared to be the Old Spice body wash in the bathroom. "Hello Belldandy. Look down, now back to me. Where are you? You're on a couch with the man who saved your life. He may not be me, but he probably smells like me because he uses Timber."
In an explosion of hair, the Screaming Man appeared. He appeared to be running in place for some reason. "RRRAAAAAAHW! GUESS WHO!"
The Handsome Man looked... more annoyed than anything. "It's you again."
"IT'S ME AGAIN!" screamed the much more muscular Screaming Man. He jumped up into the air and landed atop the Handsome Man, causing him to be pounded back down into Keiichi's scalp. "GOODBYE!" He then focused his attention back to Belldandy, thrusting his hand out, which contained a different bottle of Old Spice.
"KEIICHI MORISATO IS TOO POWERFUL TO USE TIMBER! HE USES BEARGLOOOOOOOVE!" The disembodied head of Aoshima appeared next to him. He turned and kicked it. "BULLY KICK! EXPLOSIOOOOOON!" When he finished, both he and the floating head were consumed in a ball of fire.
"Hello again, Belldandy. I've missed you." The goddess's eyes are drawn down to find the Handsome Man was on Keiichi's shoulder. He was once again holding his palm up again, where the bottle was sitting once again. What appeared to be diamonds rained down out of his hand from where they were piled up around the base. "As you can see my large, screaming, muscular friend has saved the day even though he does not use Timber. But that's not relevant. What is relevant is how you feel. Is it the root beer talking or is it love. Is it sleep deprivation or is it affection. Look at me, I don't know. Lean in closer. Inhale deeply. Timber." Unsure of what else to do, Belldandy did as instructed, catching Keiichi's immediate and undivided attention. He turned to her with a start, and the Handsome Man continued. "Does he smell like me? Maybe, maybe not, but it's ok if he doesn't because you love him. You should tell him how you feel now because I'm on a horse."
Sitting on a small white horse, the small Handsome Man began to melt back into Keiichi. But just before he disappeared completely, the horse's head lifted up, revealing the Screaming Man. "BEARGLOVE!"
"Timber."
Her Black Knight stared into her eyes for a moment. A look of concern spread across his features. "Belldandy? Are you ok?"
The goddess felt herself sway as she got lost in Keiich's strikingly beautiful chocolate colored eyes. They really were mesmerizing to her. Its not like this was the first time she had looked into them, but for some reason, they held particular appeal to her right this instant.
"I love you," she blurted out, then let out a small hiccup. Keiichi froze. Whether it was from what she said or the uncouth thing she did in his face, she did not care. "I'm going to kissss you now," said Belldandy with a slur. She leaned in closer still. His lips parted, as if inviting her in, and she accepted.
Then her entire world went black.
XXX
Did I just get cock-blocked by sleep deprivation? thought Keiichi as he stared at the brunette goddess who was now laying on his chest, letting out a light snore. Damn... thankfully no one else was around to see that. Keiichi didn't think he'd live it down if word ever got back to his team, hell, Urd that a kiss had slipped past him because the love of his life chose that exact moment to pass out.
Sure, it was a good thing-a really good thing! Belldandy could finally get some sleep without feeling too bad about it-but still...damn.
Well...I guess it's not too bad. He decided, staring down at the woman that now lay passed out on his chest. Her breath came out in a deep and easy rhythm, without so much as a twitch to indicate she was even dreaming. Looks like I still get to spend the night with a beautiful woman on top of me. Turning off his phone, the man reached over, careful to ensure he didn't disturb Belldandy. He grabbed the now-empty soda can from where it rested between the Norn's legs, and shaking it, moved it to the ground away from their feet. He did the same with his own can, happy to be rid of the drink. Root beer was god awful, but it kept him from drinking in earnest, and for that he was grateful.
With both cans out and away from feet that could cause an accidental spill, Keiichi leaned back against the Ugly Beast, working to ensure he didn't awaken the goddess at his side on accident. Any of the Norns would have told him not to waste his time; when Belldandy crashed, she went down hard. The goddess did little aside from sigh and scoot into him at his movements, and when it became apparent that she wasn't going to awaken at his adjustments, Keiichi settled himself with his head against the Ugly Beast's arm rest. His grip gentle, he drew Belldandy up into the crook of his arm, lying her head on his shoulder to ensure her neck was supported.
The goddess murmured and burrowed against him. She was warm against his body, and Keiichi was grateful the a/c was on. He'd probably start to sweat otherwise. Doesn't matter. He thought, staring down at her and feeling the gentle heat of her breath against his chest. She could be a little ball of fire and I'd still endure it for her. The SEAL smiled down at the Norn, stroking her arm affectionately. After a moment's consideration, he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on her forehead. "G'night Belldandy," he murmured. "Pleasant dreams."
He hoped so, anyways. Deciding he was about as comfortable as he'd get on the Ugly Beast. The man turned his face into the back of the couch to block the living room lights from his eyes, closed them, and let himself drift off as well.
It would be the first time in many long, painful years that Belldandy would find herself with a restful sleep, the Aoshimas of the world chased away by singing mental patients, screaming men, and the gentle embrace of her own personal Black Knight.
And explosions.
A/N: At no point should any theme we introduce be considered an endorsement of any of the products portrayed or referenced. We just think their commercials are awesome! And now, apparently, so does Belldandy! BTW, our longest chapter to date. Expect at least the next 2 to be of similar length.
Comments of a Madwoman: Three guesses to which part Loopy Nena wrote. The first two don't count.
Loopy Nena is almost as fun as Sleep Deprived IdiAmeanDada and Buzzed Belldandy. Shit got weird man. Shit got real weird.
