Thank so much to my guest readers and reviewers (especially, Ilu, your reviews absolutely made my day!)

Moving on, I do believe you wanted angst. Oh fear not, angst you shall have.


Goodwin told the story only once, as she told Beka she would. To the most senior member of the evening watch. Nyler Jewel.

She explained how Beka had been training, running along the riverfront. Goodwin had been searching for her to alert her to a change in the watch schedule. This placed her conveniently nearby to watch as Beka darted across a bridge. Suddenly a plank loosened and Beka fell into the rushing water of the River Olorun, catching a piece of tunic on the way down as evidence to her fall, of course. Goodwin whistled for the nearby dogs and they searched the river for hours. When night finally fell it became apparent that Beka had not made her way to shore and Goodwin finally returned to the Kennel.

She explained that she could not tell the story again, and asked Jewel to take over as Watch sergeant for a time... to allow her a sabbatical to grieve. Jewel took some notes for the official record and then Goodwin disappeared, as impossible to contact as her trainee now was.


Ersken opened the door to the boarding house, drenched with rain and river water, hardly managing to navigate the stairwell up to the rooms he and Kora now shared. The moment he opened the door Kora tensed.

"Ersken... What... are you alright?"

"She's gone. An accident, after everything an... an accident."

"What are you talking about."

"Beka, she's gone."

Kora crumpled and Ersken went to her side wrapping his arms around her and mumbling platitudes he didn't believe as she wept. His tears were already spent, long since lost in the rain in hours of searching leaving behind only a numb shocked disbelief in their wake.

When Kora finally calmed she whispered Rosto's name in Ersken's ear and he winced.

"Does he know, Ersken?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head silently and Kora pulled herself to her feet. "He should hear from us... in private... he needs to hear it in private."

Ersken nodded and the two of them made their way to the dove. Kora slipped up to the dais and whispered into Rosto's ear, "Get everyone out we need to talk."

Rosto turned and opened his mouth to ask her what she was talking about (I can't just get everyone out...) but he cut himself off when he saw her face. Her eyes were rimmed with red giving away the tears the rainwater disguised.

"Clear out," he roared, eyes flicking rapidly between Kora and Ersken. "Potential raid imminent. I suggest you all get your affairs in order."

The Dove couldn't have cleared quicker if the building had caught fire.

Ersken waited outside, wanting to ensure the privacy of the building. He positioned himself at the door, staring out into the rain as Kora walked into the back room with Aniki, Phelan and Rosto. All was completely silent for several minutes before an explosion of noise from the back room made Ersken jump. Splintering wood and a loud cry without words. Silence fell again and then another explosion of sound, this time something shattered.

Ersken finally left his post and entered Rosto's room. Rosto was turned away but spun towards him as soon as he heard the door open. "You're certain, Ersken? How can you be certain? Maybe-"

"Goodwin saw her fall. The river has been so high with all the rain, but the rocks-" Ersken was surprised by the chill of his own voice and fell silent.

"Where is she? I want to see her. I need to, I need to see her-"

"I'm sorry Rosto. We searched...we couldn't find her. Maybe in the morning light-" his voice caught and Rosto turned a way from him.

"Get out," he finally muttered, sinking against the windowsill.

No one moved for a moment.

"I said GET OUT."

Kora pulled Ersken out of the room Aniki following closely. Phelan stayed behind for a moment and Ersken heard hushed voices. Finally Phelan emerged too, staying just outside the door where he sank to the floor. They followed suit, unwilling to leave Rosto completely alone despite his request. Periods of silence intermingled with explosions of destruction for hours until finally it seemed Rosto had nothing left to break. Phelan was the first to stand again, turning towards the door and pushing it open slowly.

Aniki followed and Ersken finally pulled Kora to her feet. "None of us should be alone right now," he whispered in her ear and they too went back into the room. It looked like an earthquake had rocked the room, everything was shattered and broken into pieces. Rosto was seated by the window, his hair was disheveled and one hand rubbed continuous circles on his forehead. Phelan sat next to him on one side and Aniki on the other. Kora and Ersken settled behind him.

"Why won't you just leave me alone." Rosto finally asked, voice soft and broken.

Phelan sighed, "Because you don't want to be alone right now, Rosto. Not yet. I remember."

There were no more words for the rest of the night. No one slept or spoke until finally the sky outside began to brighten.

Only then did Phelan finally stand and usher everyone out of Rosto's room.

"Leave him be for a while," Phelan said as they left the room.

A while turned out to be not very long. Members of the court began to show up again and Aniki made some explanation for the raid that didn't happen... she couldn't remember what she told them afterward, but they seemed to believe her. Rosto emerged eventually, eyes a little harder and quite a bit colder.

The funeral was a massive affair but simple. Quiet and without pretense, she would have liked that, Rosto thought numbly. The Lord Provost attended and spoke for Beka, his normally calm and dignified solemnity cracking around the edges as he spoke. There was another group that he didn't recognize, except for one face. Dale Rowan. From that he extrapolated that they must be others from Port Caynn.

Dogs from Port Caynn had also showed up and several from other distant districts. But that wasn't the strange part. Interspersed with the dogs were the Rats. Rosto, Aniki and Kora , of course, and even some of theirs from the court. Reed Katie, Brian and Fiddlelad looked nervous in the company of so many dogs, but were there nonetheless. There was even a contingent of rats from Port Caynn, including no less than the Rogue herself, Fair Flory.

Only one face was missing. Goodwin was nowhere to be found.

The show went on in a haze of automation. Phelan brought Achoo to live with him, she wouldn't follow anyone else's orders so the Dogs had no use for her now. Rosto disappeared into the comfort of what was expected. He did his duties, he played his part and he always made sure the door was locked before he fell apart. Every morning he would look out to the courtyard where she used to feed her pigeons. Kora was there now, feeding the birds with stale bread, but they wouldn't speak to her.

Rosto kept himself too busy to think. Easier with the city falling apart. Like any bright star, the city mourned for Beka and then moved on, its attention captivated by the concerns of the present. Trying to feed themselves and protect their children was enough to distract anyone.

The disappearances were worsening and the city had no one to rally behind now. The slave market was nebulous and the dogs, in need of someone to blame, began to show up in Rosto's court more frequently. He had no hand in the slave markets, he never had, but he knew the whispers. Of monsters that stole children from their beds and took them across the river to the bitter cold of Scanra.

"I have to go deal with this," Rosto finally told Aniki one day, "while I still can."

"You don't mean... go back?"

"How else?"

"Rosto... you left ... enemies there. Why not send someone else? Let me go. You know I've no love for slavers."

"I'll not hide from them. The Rogue there is putting my position in jeopardy. I have to deal with that myself."

"You shouldn't go alone."

"And yet I can't leave Corus without leadership. You must stay here. No one will challenge you, it's a wasted risk, of no validity when I return."

"You will won't you, come back?"

Rosto sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It had become a habitual motion in the past two weeks leaving it in a constant disheveled state. "Stop tiptoeing around me Aniki, you've never been one to speak indirectly."

"Tell me you will come back and I will believe you."

"If I'd intended to take the black god's choice I'd have done so before now Aniki. There are easier ways."

"Bold Brian then, and Fiddlelad and there are others that can be trusted."

"And I need them here. More rushers is just more mouths that can be bought. I'll take Brian and Fiddlelad, that's all."


It was good to get out of the city anyway, Rosto reasoned. She was everywhere in that city, in her city. In every damn pigeon and in the spinners that were rapidly growing out of control in the streets. He kept seeing her around corners and in every crowd. In the glimpse of a dog's uniform out of the corner of his eye ... this city would drive him mad.

Still, Scanra wasn't exactly his choice for a change of scenery. Indeed, he had hoped never to see the Vassa again... even from the southern side if he could help it. Now, here he was, back in a city he knew too well...

Rosto took a deep breath before entering the hall. It was just like he remembered it ornate and gaudy. Gold and gems on every surface a testament to the riches of the Rogue-King. Pushing the door open he stalked inside making directly for the dais. As a visiting Rogue he was something like visiting royalty from another land. As the southern Rogue, the deserter, most of the hall turned to watch him in uneasy silence as he entered.

Only another Rogue had the right to ascend to the dais without asking permission, so as he stepped up to the throne Bold Brian and Fiddlelad waited a step behind.

"Bjorn, it's been a long time."

"Rosto the Piper." Bjorn leaned forward slightly as he spoke, "I had heard rumors you would be paying us a visit, to be honest I didn't believe a word of them. I never thought you a fool... How are you enjoying the southern sun?"

"I still detest small talk."

"You're back in my court now, Piper, if I wish to engage in small talk you'll just have to oblige me."

Rosto's jaw tensed and he lowered his voice to a low growl audible only to the small group around him. "One thing hasn't changed, Bjorn, I don't want anything to do with the Scanran throne. However, if you insist, I could challenge your competence right now over the fact that you've let your problems spill over onto my territory. Would you like to see if I've slowed down at all? Or ... we can drop the pretense and talk like civilized people."

Bjorn's smile fell slightly and he leaned back on his golden throne. "All right, Piper, no need to get terse. We're old friends are we not?"

"Never." Rosto smiled without warmth and continued, "You've let your slave markets get out of control," Rosto said quietly. "People are disappearing in a steady stream into the mountains and beyond. It threatens the stability of my throne. You know I can't allow that to continue."

"I would never knowingly jeopardize another Rogue's throne, Rosto. I was, of course, not aware that you had a slavers problem on the boarder. I must admit myself puzzled, you know we don't have slavery here."

"I know that used to be true, but I've dealt with my people already, Bjorn, you must deal with yours."

"I do wish I could help you with your problem but I've no dealings with the southern slavers. Perhaps ... a talk with one of my district chiefs from the borderlands? TOK," he cried suddenly.

A tall man with a sallow face hurried forward with a slight rusher directly behind him. Rosto couldn't see his face but he noted it as strange. Perhaps this Tok was a coward and felt the need to have a personal body guard? If so...why would a body guard keep himself completely out of the line of the potential threat. He raised his eyebrows as he turned to speak to the chief.

"You run the southern borderlands?" He asked, still trying to glimpse the cove standing behind him. He was standing with his back to them, the hood of his cloak pulled up... watching the crowd? Perhaps Tok had an enemy in the court?

"Aye, majesty."

"What do you know of the slave markets in that region."

"Nothing majesty, I know better than to deal with slavers that take people against their will. Causes too much discord. It's against the Rogues law, besides..." he finished with a slight bow towards Bjorn.

"I am aware of the Rogue's law," Rosto said coldly. "I am also aware that slavery in Scanra is something of an anomaly. Something that if I were a district chief I would probably notice. How are they feeding them, I would wonder... You will take me to your district and I will look into it myself."

Tok glanced at Bjorn for a moment before responding "Of course, majesty," and turned to go. As he turned Rosto caught the slightest glimpse of the rusher at his back and ice pooled in his stomach.

Ice...

Ice eyes.

His eyes bore into her back but the mot didn't turn again. Beka? Of course it wasn't Beka, Beka was gone, and he was finally cracking. He shook his head trying to pull his eyes from the rusher but suddenly she was forced to turn slightly when Tok spoke to her.

Her eyes drifted past the man she was speaking to and Rosto felt his legs turn to water. Beka. He'd know those eyes anywhere. Beka? He was frozen in place, staring across the short distance. He wanted to run to her, but he couldn't, his feet were stuck solidly to the ground. There was a pleading look in her eyes... In sudden realization he tore his eyes away.

Bjorn did not seem to notice Rosto's distraction...Those brief moments of eye contact had felt like they had taken hours but in fact it was mere moments before he'd recovered. He spoke easily to the Rogue making preparations for the trip, and he must have sounded composed because Bjorn didn't so much as raise his eyebrows, but his mind was spinning, and it felt like the greatest of physical efforts to not allow his eyes to drift once more to her.

Her? Could it be? Perhaps he really had finally cracked. He couldn't count the number of times he had thought he had spotted those icy eyes in a crowd, or that particular shade of dark blonde hair. On closer examination the eyes were always too dark or the hair too light. It was never her. It couldn't be her.

But he had seen her. He was certain...No more than 10 feet away. Those eyes. It had to be her. It had to be her, or he was finally mad. Madness didn't seem such an unlikely option at the moment.

He finished his conversation with Bjorn and returned to Bold Brian and Fiddlelad. They had been offered rooms in the court for the night and a rusher led them back there. He finally gave in, and his eyes drifted over to where she had stood. Tok was still there. Beka was gone.

Beka is gone. Get a hold of yourself, he thought angrily. It was just another mot, with too dark eyes and too light of hair to be my Beka. Another not-Beka my mind is contorting into what I so desperately wish to see. That is all. Pull it together.

He couldn't pull it together. He, Fiddlelad and Bold Brian had elected to share a room for security, despite the jibes of 'they sure do have strange ways in the south.' Bold Brian and Fiddlelad slept contentedly on their cots and Rosto stared out the window endlessly. He still remembered that first night in excruciating detail. Waves of anger and desperation, but there was nothing to be angry at. No vengeance to give him comfort. He had thrown everyone out, broken most of his belongings and still they returned. His friends... to sit with him in silence for the longest night of his life. He was furious with them, and grateful to them at the same time. After that night he had thrown himself into his duties, closing off his emotions and just trying to get through each day. Nights were torture. He rarely slept and when he did he dreamed of chasing her along the bridge, catching her just before she fell and holding her close (Don't do that to me, Beka, please, you can't leave me.) Then he woke alone and for a few moments he wasn't sure what was real. He thought he had saved her, for a few precious moments until reality came crashing down on him again.

He let his head fall into his hands in frustration. He couldn't sleep tonight. Not with Fiddlelad and Bold Brian sleeping just a few feet away. They would wake when he cried out from his dreams...they would know his weakness. So instead he stared out into the street, trying to convince himself that what he had seen was real. That she wasn't dead... just lost.

A flash of gold in the street below caught his attention. That deep golden blonde, like her... just like her. He stared intently, willing the delusion back into existence ... even if it was just a delusion.

There.

There it was again, peaking out from an alleyway.

It was probably just an orange girl who had noticed his gaze lingering on not-Beka. Still he stood and peered out into the darkness. It appeared again and before he could think too hard about it he had slipped out the window, climbing gracefully down onto the street.

This is crazy. He had enemies here, and he was playing right into their hands.

Still he raced onward through the streets in pursuit of a memory. Finally he reached the area he had seen her and slowed to a walk. It was probably a trap, but he continued on. Suddenly a hand slipped over his mouth and he turned instantly, pushing away and ready to face his attacker.

Ice eyes and dark golden hair greeted him and his hands fell limp to his sides.

"Rosto...Please, don't yell. We need to talk ... no one can know."

"Beka?" he whispered... he had never quite believed in ghosts. Not the kind that stood in front of you and spoke like the living... Still here she was. She was spirit...but she wasn't. She had touched him. "Oh gods, Beka. I've finally cracked..."

"You've not cracked Rosto," she whispered carefully.

He took a step forward raising his hand to her cheek and watching her in fascination before suddenly pulling her into a desperate hug. She couldn't breathe but she let him hold her tight anyway.

"Cooper...Beka... I ..." then suddenly he cut himself off with a string of words she couldn't understand.

"Rosto what-"

"I fell asleep... I wasn't supposed to fall asleep. Gods, I don't care," he raised his hand and cupped her cheek before pulling her into a tight embrace again. "Beka I miss you so much. I have to tell you before I wake-"

"Rosto, you're not asleep, listen to me-"

"A loose plank, puppy. What the bloody hell? How could you leave me alone like this? I can't do this alone, puppy." He tried to tighten his grip but Beka pushed him away.

"Rosto! Listen to me! You really think a loose plank could do me in? This is no dream and I need your help."

He studied her for a moment before finally his eyes widened. His hand returned to her cheek, fingers lingering over her skin. Drawing her in he kissed her forehead before dropping to her lips. Softly so softly, afraid she would vanish if he were too harsh...

"You were dead," he said softly.

"I had to be, otherwise people would talk. It's not that far north that …"

"Beka, I … I thought you were dead," he repeated as if somehow not sure she understood his meaning.

"I know... I couldn't tell anyone or it would risk everything…" he didn't respond, still staring at her as at a ghost and she trailed off. "I'm sorry Rosto."

"You're sorry?" A flicker of fire sparked in his dark eyes. "It's been weeks. I mourned for you, Beka, I...we still are…still were… Gods…" He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

"Rosto, I had no choice-"

"You always have a choice, Beka. No one makes Beka Cooper do anything. You chose to … to let us grieve for … for weeks…would you have ever told us or were you just going to start over somewhere-"

"That's not fair, Rosto, you know that. It's a job. When it's done I would have come home, I would have explained-"

"BE-" She cut off his cry with a hand over his mouth and pushed him deeper into the alley

"Quiet, Rosto! Please be quiet... I took a new name here. It's Mishka here."

"Mishka?" he laughed, a hint of madness in the sound.

She glared, "What's so funny?"

"Where'd you get that idea?"

"I don't know… I think Aniki called me that one time."

He laughed again.

"Rosto?"

"It means little bear…not little exactly, it's … it's an affectionate term. Like when I call you puppy."

"Well good, you won't have any trouble remembering it."

He stared at her and the confusion finally cleared from his eyes. "Tok... you're here about the slavers too."

"Yes, the dogs have nothing, we needed information, we had no other options left."

"You could have told me, I could have helped. We need somewhere we can talk...Damn it, Cooper I could have helped." Rosto shook his head and grabbed her wrist leading her through the alley and out the other side and towards the docks.

"Where are we going, Rosto?" Beka whispered trying to keep up.

"To see if I am fortunate enough to still have a friend in this blasted country."

Slipping from shadow to shadow along the docks they finally reached a small fishing vessel that Rosto seemed to recognize. "We're in luck, potentially. Follow me." He slipped up the gangplank and opening a hatch to a room below. He descended first looking around and Beka followed. Rosto lit a lamp and she discovered they were in a small office or bedroom, perhaps a bit of both. Rosto indicated she should sit down at the desk and he leaned against the wall as she looked around the room.

"Rosto, where are we-"

"This is a friend's home. Or it used to be. It will at least give us a few minutes out of sight to speak. How long have you been here? Ever since you...left."

"Yes, almost three weeks. It wasn't supposed to take this long. I took up with Tok, was gaining his trust."

"You...took up... with Tok?" Rosto repeated, eyebrows raised.

"Really Rosto, you're going to do that? I've essentially become his personal body guard ... I didn't realize that the sarden scut prefers never to set foot in his district."

"I could have told you that, love. I could have told you a lot of things. When did you decide this Beka... that night on the roof? Did you let me leave knowing you were going to put me through this-" He paced back and forth not taking his eyes off her for a second as he paced. (Don't give him time to fall apart.) Beka bit her lip and stood, walking over to him and forcing him to stop pacing by grabbing his hand. She could feel his hand trembling and she let her head fall into his shoulder. He immediately wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, Rosto," she mumbled into his shoulder, "I was just... I was afraid, Rosto. I was so afraid Nilo would be next or Will or..."

Rosto sighed, and pushed her away slightly indicating she should sit back down at the desk. "We've no time... tell me what you already know."

"You know about the rumors of people being taken north, when I got here I heard similar rumors on this side of the border. I impressed Tok quickly but unfortunately my position with him has mostly left me cracking wrists at gaming tables for the past couple weeks."

"I'm not surprised he prefers to stay here. The borderlands are not ...pleasant. Here on the coast there is food coming in from fishing vessels and... well raiders, not to mention the taxation by the Rogue on the surrounding district areas. Many have access to food here. On the border lands they can eat only what they can take from the river and their neighbors. That's what's so strange about this whole mess Cooper. There's a reason I left this land, among other things people can't feed themselves here, much less slaves."

"So where are they taking them?"

"I don't know, I suppose slave labor could be used on fishing or pirate vessels. Or perhaps they are just making port here on there way somewhere else... East to Galla perhaps."

"Apparently I owe you thanks, Rosto, looks like we're finally moving south. But please remember... I told Tok I'd never met you."

"Oh come now puppy, how would I know you? You're just a lowly rusher," he taunted with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. "You best remember that too, there will be questions if you don't show the proper respect for my position."

Beka glared and Rosto laughed, "Best get that out of your system now, Mishka."

There was a sound above deck and Rosto put his finger to his lips covering the lamp and throwing them into darkness. Beka heard him make his way toward the ladder but then a sudden light from behind Rosto temporarily blinded her. When her vision returned an arm had snaked around Rosto's neck and a large fishing knife was pressed into his skin. Apparently the owner of the vessel did not welcome guests after all...


There's not many of us Beka/Rosto types yet, so please, leave a review and make my day.

*Sigh* I really miss when there was still hope for them! It's not usually a big deal, the people you want together not working out...but I'll never forgive Tamora pierce for doing so via just ignoring so many amazing characters for the rest of the series. Such a waste of good character development. I want backstory! So I'm just going to make it!