Sorry it took a while to update, I take total blame for that!
Raising his arms above his head and listening to the clicks that sounded from his stretching back, House groaned. He rubbed at his eyes before reaching his hand down under the covers and massaging his leg; surprising himself at the lack of underwear he felt. Opening his eyes tentatively he surveyed his surroundings, though quickly smiling to himself as the events of the few hours' previous flooded back in to his mind. He reached his arm over to the left, expecting to come into contact with a warm body; a warm body of a certain female who, arguably, had turned what was the worst night of his life into one he would definitely put down in the 'good' section of his memories. His arm, however, found nothing but cold sheets and upon closer inspection, no Cuddy anywhere. Pulling his arm back onto his thigh he inaudibly sighed and felt the pace of his heart speed up. It was real! It WAS real…It was certainly real, right? No way was it was a hallucination... Pushing his palm down into the angry indents in his thigh he groaned and reached over to the bedside table, picking up a bottle of pills and shaking them. It was only when he spilled two pills out into his hand did he realized they weren't his vicodin. These pills were nothing more than ibuprofen. His vicodin was gone; he couldn't take vicodin anymore. A shiver ran down his spine as the pain in his thigh flared up once more. The adrenaline from earlier had worn off and he was really feeling the effects of the detox, as well as the more... amorous activities he'd participated in.
He threw down two ibuprofen and rested his head back on the headboard, breathing as quiet as possible so he could hear if Cuddy was near. Holding his breath he listened hard, but he could hear nothing. No sounds, no movement, nothing. Cuddy wasn't there. House sat up in her bed and looked around for his underwear, it was downright awkward to be alone and naked in his boss's home. Picking his boxers up off of the floor he steadied himself before lifting his leg, the pain combined with the dizziness in his head and the churning in his stomach wasn't a good combination and he breathed in and out steadily, fighting back the nausea that overcame him. Slipping on his boxers and a t-shirt he rubbed his hand over his face and shivered, the after effects of the detox were still affecting him and he felt like complete shit. His stomach jolted as a sharp pain ran through his abdomen and he regretted taking the ibuprofen on an empty stomach as he jumped up out of the bed and limped as fast as a man with a dizzying headache and a bum leg could into Cuddy's en-suite bathroom. He threw himself down onto the white tiles floor and emptied his stomach contents violently into the porcelain bowl, at that point not quite caring if he made a mess. The pain in his stomach rivaled the pain he felt in his head and he grabbed at his leg as he heaved and gagged, coughing violently. Shivers ran down his spine and he felt the warm trail of tears run down his face. He felt mentally exhausted and incapable of doing anything other than rest against Cuddys toilet and heave. House flushed the toilet and rested his back against the cold bathtub, shivering as a sudden wave of syncope and tiredness washed over him and he passed out, curling his hand around the bathroom rug on the floor for warmth.
Cuddy pushed her foot down harder on the accelerator pedal as she drove down the highway to Marina's house. She was so grateful to the nanny for being able to look after her daughter overnight but all she wanted now was to collect her and get home. Not that she didn't trust House alone in her home; she just didn't want to leave him. He would probably be in pain and after the morning they'd both had, she didn't want him to feel used. She laughed to herself at the thought that House would think she'd used him, hell anyone would think that he'd be happy with that. But Cuddy knew, she knew that he would be disappointed if he woke up to find her gone. Somewhere underneath that rough exterior there was an insecure man, and even further under was a heart. A heart that had physically, as well as emotionally, been broken far too many times. The loud beep of a horn shocked Cuddy out of her reverie as she jumped and focused her attention back on the road, her heart pumping and adrenaline surging as she pressed her foot down on the break just in time to avoid smashing into the car ahead.
"Woah" Cuddy said as she exhaled and felt her heart rate return to normal and the residual adrenaline keep her senses on high alert.
Cuddy kept her mind clear and her eyes on the road the rest of the journey to her nanny's house, thinking of House was quite literally dangerous and she didn't quite fancy getting into an accident.
Once she'd collected Rachel and paid Marina, they made their way home with Rachel jabbering away about her night away from home in the backseat. The sound of her little voice filled Cuddy's heart with warmth and she felt an overwhelming love for the child. Her daughter was her life. She once felt as though she would never ever bond with her, not like a biological mother would with her child, but now she would literally give her life for the little girl. This was the reason she didn't want to get too close with House. Although, it might have been a little late for second thoughts now. Rachel deserved someone who would care for her and love her as a father would love his child. House… wouldn't do that for her. House wouldn't accept her. House… House didn't like her for all she knew! Focusing her attentions back on the road, they made their way home, Cuddy trying hopelessly to forget the huge mess she may have brought upon herself.
House rolled onto his back, feeling himself wake up as the cold tiled floor and a jabbing ache in his side pushing him back into consciousness. He opened his eyes slowly, not wanting to face the light just yet. The ache in his head and his leg had reduced significantly but the diminished pain was replaced by a throbbing ache in his left side, just above his hip. He rubbed his eyes and opened them fully, allowing him to easily find out the cause of the ache in his side. Above him stood Rachel, a lollipop in her mouth and a pointed finger poking into his abdomen.
"Hi" she said, the lolly swirling in her mouth as she spoke.
House mumbled something; the only audible word to be heard was 'kid' at the end.
"I gots you some water." She said as she handed him a sippy cup a quarter full of water. "When momma sick she asks for water"
House smiled at her, her cuteness was pure… sickening.
"Are you sick?" she asked, sitting herself down on the fluffy bathroom rug opposite him.
House nodded. Was he sick? God, yes. He was so sick. Sick of everything; sick of pain, sick of being confused, sick of the damn cold weather, sick of the scar, sick of little girls that get in the way... the list was endless. Looking up at Rachel's puppy dog blue eyes he rethought his last 'sick of'. She wasn't too bad, yeah she got in the way, but she was a good kid. God knows he'd met other kids her age and they were nothing more than psychotic hyperactive sticky monkeys. Compared to them Rachel was...bearable.
"Where's your mother?" House asked, taking a sip of the water. He grimaced when he tasted how warm it was. "Where did you get this?" he groaned, wiping his hand over his mouth.
"Momma is in the kitchen. She making lunch and I gots it from the tap. She says I'm not allowed to touch the red tap but shh" she said, giggling as she placed her finger over her lips.
House smiled at her and placed the sippy cup down on the floor. He could hear Cuddy walking around in the kitchen, her heels clicking on the laminated floor as she hurried herself around. In one way he was glad she was back, but he didn't want to face the awkwardness he knew would arise when she realized he was awake. Especially now the kid was home.
"Do you know what time it is?" House asked, hoping Rachel was advanced enough to tell time.
"Thirty o'clock. Lunch time" Rachel said confidently. Apparently she wasn't advanced enough.
"Thirty o'clock. Right." House said, humoring her. Rachel sat back against the wall, crossing her legs at her ankles in exactly the same way Cuddy did when she was relaxed. House mirrored her movement, knowing he would have to get up soon.
"Why are you in momma's bathroom? Are we going to funedral again?" Rachel asked, fiddling with her jacket zipper. Why she was content to stay with him House had no idea, she should have ran when she first saw him, not stay, and definitely not offer him some water.
"No, we're not going to a funeral. I had a... tummy bug." Rachel looked at him with wide eyes, sympathizing best she could. She'd had a tummy bug before, and it wasn't nice. It hurt a lot and she felt awful. "Cud- Your mom helped me to get better."
"Did she give you hugs? When I have tummy bug momma give me hugs because they are magical an make you better."
"Magical?"
"Yeah! Mommy medsun. Makes your tummy better"
House almost snorted with laughter. "Your mom definitely has magical medicine. I guess she gave me hugs" House thought back to the early morning and smiled. "She gave me lots of hugs"
"Good" Rachel whispered.
Cuddy finished chopping apple slices and stopped in her tracks, she could've sworn she'd heard voices and a giggle coming from the other room.
"Rachel?" she called out, knowing her daughter would be playing somewhere. After she received no answer she went back to her food prep, before being distracted again with the sound of voices. She'd explicitly told Rachel not to go into her room, knowing for definite House wouldn't appreciate her young child waking him up or annoying him. It was only when she heard a low voice accompany the giggles did she stop.
"Shit" she whispered under her breath and felt her heart drop. It wasn't that she was scared to go and see House, not at all. She just wasn't ready to face him after what had happened, which was understandable, sleeping with a detoxing employee when he was vulnerable and had voluntarily put her in a place of high superiority over him didn't scream romance. Not at all. She felt bad, felt like she'd taken advantage of him.
Throwing the knives and chopping board into the sink she took a few deep breaths before walking down the hallway and into her bedroom, hearing the voices become louder and clearer with every step she took.
"No no no, I already told you! When Spongebob gots stuck in wock bottom he hafta talk" Rachel stopped and blew a raspberry. "Like" and another one "This." She blew a huge raspberry, showering herself, and a part of House with saliva.
"Rachel!" Cuddy all but shouted from the bathroom door.
Both House and Rachel looked up at her, like two children who had been caught doing something bad.
"Rachel, I've told you it's very rude to blow raspberries! Lunch is ready, so go wash your hands" Cuddy said, her voice becoming less and less mad as she ushered Rachel out of the room.
Turning back around Cuddy looked down at House and smiled, he reciprocated a faint boyish one back.
"Hey"
"Hey" he replied. He tried to lift himself up using the bath as support, groaning as his leg gave way, partly from the pain of not having his meds, and partly from having been sat down for so long.
Cuddy realized his struggle and held out her hand. House grasped it tightly, curling his long fingers in between her knuckles, almost completely covering her small hand. Slowly, but surely he got up and stretched, clicking his back and neck.
"Did Rachel wake you? I'm sorry, House. I told her not to come in-" Cuddy apologised.
"It's okay." He interrupted her panic. "I guess it's a good thing, any longer sleeping on that bathroom floor and my back would've turned to stone"
"Why were you on the floor?"
"Was sick"
"Oh"
They stood in awkward silence, both not quite knowing what to say or do. Should they talk about it? Should she pretend like it didn't even happen? How would he feel? Was a relationship even on his mind… did SHE want one with HIM? The awkwardness was soon ended as Rachel came stumbling back into the room, making as much racket as a small child does.
"Momma, want lunch" she said, her hands on her non-existent hips.
"Sure baby" Cuddy said with a smile, she looked up at House and left the room, knowing that they would definitely have to talk, seriously talk, and soon.
House limped into the kitchen, leaning on his cane heavily. He'd gotten changed into his jeans and a black band t-shirt and his hair was wet and dripping down his back, causing the collar of his shirt to turn a darker colour. Cuddy fought against the maternal urge to tell him he'd catch a chill, instead using her doctor's reasoning and offered him a seat at the table.
"Do you fancy some lunch?" she asked.
House's stomach churned. He hadn't eaten since yesterday lunchtime and he was definitely hungry, but his stomach was still delicate and he feared any food he ate would soon be seen again all over the kitchen floor.
"No" he said as he watched Rachel dip her apple slices in peanut butter.
"House, you have to eat something"
"I'm not hungry"
"How about some peanut butter and celery sticks? Those aren't too heavy on your stomach"
"Vegetables? Eurghhh" He made a sound of disgust, which made Rachel giggle. "Definitely not"
Cuddy rolled her eyes and placed her hand on her hip. "Then you're having a glass of oralyte."
"Cuddy, I'm not a child." House said, beginning to feel frustrated.
"No, but the lines under your eyes and your pale complexion tell me you're at least a bit dehydrated and you haven't eaten in a while. You need to keep up your...strength" Cuddy slowed as she realised Houses intent stare at her, his eyes glossy blue, causing her to blushed.
"Fine, I'll have a peanut butter sandwich" He gave in.
Cuddy turned around and set to work on making House's lunch. House rested his back against the chair and watched Rachel as she dipped her apple into the peanut butter dip, licked the peanut butter off and then discarded the apple.
"Aren't you supposed to eat the apple too?" House said lightly. Considering everything, he should have been in a god awful mood, but for some strange unknown reason, he wasn't. Maybe Rachel had slipped him something in the warm sippy cup substance or he was actually going insane but he felt...content. His thigh was aching with an intensity he'd not felt since just after the infarction and his head still felt foggy and his stomach was rolling but he felt, dare he think it, happy. Perhaps he was still riding the post-coital wave, or the fact that he felt comfortable in the two ladies' presence but for the time being he wasn't going to think. Wasn't going to over analyze the situation, he was just going to take the day for what it was, not think about what could happen or what had happened. He wasn't going to get his hopes up either.
Rachel dipped a thoroughly sucked apple slice into her pot of peanut butter and offered it to House. House looked at the apple, the tip gnawed by teeth marks and he was sure the little drip down the side was drool not juice, and declined. Though he was touched by the offer, Rachel really was being the epitome of 'cute little girl' today.
"Here" Cuddy said as she gave House his sandwich.
"Thanks" he replied, taking a small bit out of the bread.
"Rachel, eat your apple!" Cuddy said, picking up on Rachel's little trick.
"Don't want no apple"
"If you don't eat your apple you won't have cookies"
"Noooooo!" Rachel screamed, as if it was the worst thing in the world.
House squeezed his eyes shut at the high-pitched wail and reconsidered his last thoughts.
"Eat three slices of apple and you can have one cookie. Eat all of it and you can have two" Cuddy negotiated.
Rachel frowned and picked at her apple slices, slowly nibbling them down until they were gone.
Once dinner was over and House had certainly had his fill of domesticity Cuddy allowed Rachel her cookies.
"Can I have a cookie, mommy?" House said, trying to avoid the awkwardness that dared to follow.
"Sure" she said as she handed Rachel two cookies and gave the pack to House.
"Oatmeal raisin? Seriously Cuddy?" You promise the kid cookies and you give her the most healthy thing you can find..." House said with mock disbelief. Turning the packet over House read the nutritional information. "Oh my god and they're low fat too…Cuddy, I'm offended." Cuddy laughed and took the packet off him.
"If you don't want my cookie then fine" she said as she playfully spoke back, stopping in her tracks when she realized the other meaning to the word 'cookie'
"Oh I want your cookie, Cuddy" House said in that voice, he used which was a mixture between a growl and a whisper.
They both looked at each other, daring the other to speak, but again, they were interrupted by Rachel as she shouted "Cookie!" loudly before devouring the biscuit. Cuddy stared at her child, laughing helplessly at her, where as House merely looked at his sandwich he had been handed before. The kid. He thought deeply to himself.
Not too long later, Rachel had been put down for a nap, House was laying on Cuddy's sofa fighting off a bout of shakes and nausea and Cuddy was typing away at her laptop, not being able to stay away from work, even on her day off.
Sighing Cuddy closed her laptop and placed it on the floor.
"House" she called over to him.
House removed the pillow that was placed over his head and looked at her.
"Cuddy"
"House...what's going to happen?"
House flung his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. She wanted one of those chats.
"Well I'm pretty sure the sun is going to expand, eventually getting so big it reaches the earth's orbit where we'll be completely engulfed into the flames and well…yeah."
Cuddy wasn't amused with his attempt at deflection. "I meant in the near future. What's going to happen with the vicodin, the detox, the rehab?"
"Woah, woah, woah. Rehab?" For a second he thought she was about to bring up the previous night and the fiery activity, however on second looks he actually seemed more ready to talk about it than her. He knew she was avoiding the conversation as much as he was, if not more.
"House, we need to get you on a program. Remove your psychological addiction as well as your physical one"
House knew she was right, of course she was but still...he hated the idea of him as an addict. It was true though, he was an addict. But constant reminders of that fact only annoyed the fuck out of him and having the woman he liked and in a deep complicated and convoluted way wanted to impress, blatantly pointing it out to him, well it down right hurt.
"I don't need rehab. The shakes are almost gone, the nausea is manageable and with the pain meds you've given me the pain is just above manageable. I'm fine. Don't need rehab."
"House, you can't be serious...If you want this, want to be clean then you have to get some help, and not just from me. Sure, I can help you medically but we need to get people specialized in these things to help you. I just…can't. I'll try my best, I promise, but you need someone with the expertise." House frowned for a second, those words in his mind held more to them than she had intended to give away. She wasn't planning on anything between them.
House unknowingly nodded, drowned in thought. What she was saying about the drugs and the relationship between the both of them was total truth but somewhere, he just didn't want to accept it. He didn't want to accept he was an addict, nor that he needed help. If that was the case, he wasn't worth her whether or not she wanted to be with him.
"What do you think I should do?" he asked plainly.
"I think I just made my views pretty clear. I want you to go to rehab, I want you to be serious about this and I want you to be clean. I want you to be happy, not high"
"I didn't do vicodin to get high, Cuddy." he snapped.
"Don't piss about House, maybe you didn't do it to get high, but don't for once tell me it was just for the pain. I understand your pain must be immense, but using drugs to fight emotional pain, to conceal your feelings…it's not healthy."
Cuddy stopped herself, not wanting to be too hard on him. Getting up off the couch and sitting herself down on House's couch, she placed her hands on his shins, he initially flinched at the contact but relaxed as he felt the warmth from her palm through the blanket.
"I can get you on a program at the hospital. It can be outpatient if you really wish, but please House, please consider seeing someone about this."
House dug his palm into his thigh, focusing his attention on the pain that was increasing in intensity there instead of Cuddy's words and nodded.
"Okay"
"Okay?" Cuddy smiled, not getting her hopes up just yet.
"I'll do it if you promise that I'll have meds that will help my pain, and if it'll be on an outpatient basis."
"I can do that" Cuddy said with a smile, squeezing House's leg.
"But..." House began. "If I'm to be going home tonight, we need to get rid of the pills there. I want to be clean, but I know where all of my stashes are and I know that I'll take them. I won't even know I'm doing it until it's too late."
"I'd collect them all up for you, House. It's just. Rachel and I'm working tomorrow and..."Cuddy stopped, trying to think of a way they could clean House's apartment of drugs.
"Wilson" House said quietly. He didn't want to go home, to be honest, he wanted to stay with her, or at least have some company…preferably someone who was not going to lecture him on his future, like such a friend called Wilson might do.
"He would do it." Cuddy nodded. "Damn, he would decline a three way with Beyonce and Lady Gaga just for the opportunity to get rid of the vicodin at your place"
House smiled as he imagined a three way with Beyonce and Lady Gaga, his smile soon faded, however, as the image of Wilson with them filled his mind and he grimaced a little, trying to get himself to erase the image from ever appearing in his mind again.
"Do you want to call him?" Cuddy asked
"Will you?" House really didn't want to face Wilson right now.
"I'll do it now. You look exhausted, go and have a nap and I'll call Wilson. He'll probably need to speak to you though, about where your secret secret stashes are hidden."
"Fine" House said as he curled onto his side into the sofa and closed his eyes, trying to get a few extra hours of sleep.
House was awoken from his sleep by the high pitched wails of an infant and a jabbing into his chest.
"House…House, wake up! Rachel, please be quiet, honey. Mommy will make you some juice now."
House groaned. "Juice?" he said, sleepily.
"House, wake up" Cuddy said again, strongly.
"I'm awake, god shut that thing up!" he growled, Rachel instantly looking at him, a hint of terror in her eyes. Catching the look on her face, House wanted to slap himself, the detox was sapping at any strength left he had to control himself.
"House, Wilson is here. He wants to talk to you"
House felt the familiar feeling of dread tighten in his stomach.
"Hi, House" Wilson said as he sat down next to House.
"If you're sure about this, I'm definitely prepared to do it. I just need a key and I need you to be totally honest with me. I need to know exactly where you have the vicodin, all of it." Wilson said seriously.
House proceeded with giving Wilson his key and once he'd gotten there, told Wilson where he had his secret stashes hidden.
Wilson finished about four hours later; he had a large medical waste bag full of at least fifty separate bottles of pills and a couple of vials of morphine. The sight of it filled his heart with worry and sadness, to think this is such a huge part of his best friend's life filled him with endless sadness.
Putting the bag into the boot of his car, making sure he wasn't seen by anyone he made his way to the hospital to properly dump the pills into the medical waste bin, hoping that with it, the addiction would leave too.
