Going through stages of I hate this chapter I love this chapter I hate this chapter. Right now I think I love it. That may change.

Disclaimer: Castle returns on my dad's birthday ( (or it does if you're in Europe (it is also Elvis Presley's birthday. JSYK).


He doesn't hear from either Kate or Harry for another week and he finally, out of sheer desperation, he marches down to the precinct and catches the lift up to the Homicide floor. He's surprised that Kate isn't there, but he does find Esposito meandering out of the break room. "Hey, Esposito, right?"

The man nods, fixes Castle with a disapproving glare. Doesn't trust him, okay. He's a cop. He can deal with that. "I'm looking for Kate. And Harry."

"Upstate. Took Beckett's dad up to get some fresh air. Away from the city, you know."

"Ohh, right. It's just…"

"She didn't tell you? No, she wouldn't. Don't take it personally. But she should be back in the next couple of days." Esposito replied, pushing past him.

"Do you have her cell number?"

"Shouldn't you have it?"

"I – I do, only she's not answering it. I just wondered if she had another. Like, a private one."

"I'm not going to give it out to you. I don't know you."

"Understandable, alright. Well, if she gets in contact with you, can you get her to phone me? It's not important… I just want to know how she's doing."

Esposito smirked at him, look far too amused for Castle's liking. "But you don't want to know about your own daughter? Dude."

Castle floundered, stuffing his hands in his pockets just so they had something to do. "I figured that if something was up with Harry then she'd tell me. But you know Kate, she's private and doesn't let anyone know that she's hurting. And I trust her enough to tell me if there was something wrong."

Esposito grinned. "You like her. Don't deny it."

"Who wouldn't? But whatever, not the point. Just… pass on the message for me."

Esposito waved him away, heading towards his desk. "Sure, whatever. Now bugger off, I have work to do."


"Yo, Beckett."

Beckett sighs down the phone at him, tries to handle the tray of coffee and keeps the phone pressed against her ear with her shoulder. "Javi, I told you only to phone if it's an emergency."

"You didn't tell Castle you were going away. He just came in and bugged me about it." Esposito responds, clearly not bothered by the obvious breaking of the emergencies only rule. Or saw this as one. Kate wasn't quite sure.

"Don't see how it's any of your business, to be honest."

"It's not, but Harry is his. You should have told him."

Beckett put the tray down on the coffee table, poured the tea into a mug before handing it to her father. "I didn't have to tell him anything."

"Just… give him a ring, Beckett. Stop him from badgering me. Please?"

"Fine. Fine, whatever. But the next time he comes up to the precinct and starts bugging you, just tell him to piss off." Kate flops onto the sofa next to Harry, tugs on her leg slightly. "You didn't give him this number, did you?"

"No, Beckett. I'm not an idiot. And I don't have a death wish either."

"Alright, fine. I'll give him a call. And Javi, the next time that Castle comes for a visit and I'm not there, just ignore him. Okay?"

"Would that work?"

"I don't know, it's a new experiment."

Esposito sighed at her, exasperated. "What have you got against the guy, Beckett? You slept with him once. Can't be all that bad."

"I'm going to go now."


She waits until both her father and Harry have long since fallen asleep before dragging the blanket across her lap on the sofa. Her father's cabin doesn't look like much from the outside, but inside it's spacious, light and has a very homely feel to it. There's a niggling sensation at the back of her mind, telling her over and over again that she should have done this sooner. Practice has long since helped her silence that voice in the back of her head, but for some strange reason it's not being quiet today. She was going to phone him. She was. Only once they were back at home and she was in her own environment. She'll phone him when she wants to. Though, saying that, she'd rather she didn't have to phone him at all. She doesn't want to talk to him. Kate knows that she should have told him where she was going, and she's well aware that she's probably made a right pigs ear of the whole situation. Maybe if she had another chance, she would have done if it differently. Maybe if she'd had another chance maybe she'd never have slept with him, or at least been more adamant on birth control. She'd been too drunk that night. Too drunk on the too many drinks and too drunk on the way he was making her feel. It would have probably been a whole lot easier on the both of them if she'd just outright told him she was pregnant. It wasn't that hard to find an author, you just needed to wait for a book signing. But no, the stubborn streak in her refused to budge, and she was adamant that she could do things on her own, and even if she said so herself, she was doing a damn good job at it. But that didn't resolve the fact that she still needed to talk to him. Ugh.

He takes a while to answer, and it occurs to her that Castle is probably leaving her hanging on purpose. It wouldn't surprise her, and she knows she deserves it, but jeez, he's taking his time. He picks up, finally, with a very sharp sounding "Kate."

"Castle, look you can't just march into my work place and demand that my colleagues phone me. They can't waste time trying to get hold of me just for anyone who walks in off the street."

Castle snorts, and it's angry and hurt. "Remind me who is the one who ran off somewhere upstate with my daughter? Do that all you want, Kate, but please just let me know beforehand?"

Kate sighs and pulls on the loose thread of the green blanket. A bit gets stuck in her nail and she pulls it free with a grunt. "I'm sorry. It was a spur of the moment thing and I was so caught up with getting our stuff ready."

"Understandable, but you've been there a week already and you haven't got in touch once. Hell, Kate. Even a stupid text message would suffice."

"I'm sorry, okay."

He sighed, and she could practically hear him rolling her eyes. "Are you really though, Kate? Because all I'm hearing right now are a load of words with not a lot of meaning behind them. Don't tell me you're sorry if you're not."

"Castle-"

He swore down the phone at her, and Kate refrained from throwing the phone across the room. "Kate, look, I'm trying to make this work. I am. I want to have a relationship with my daughter where I don't have to worry about where she is, or why I can't get hold of you, or her. I don't want to be left pacing around my apartment for hours on end wondering if something has happened to you or her, and nobody knows to tell me. And I don't want to take your daughter away from you. Believe me, it's the last thing I'd want to do, but we need… this needs to be a team effort. I need to know."

"I'm not used to this, Castle. It's always been Harry and me. That's how it's been since I first discovered I was pregnant. I'm not used to having someone else there. I'm not used to having to let someone else know where I'm going. I'll get used to it, and I really am sorry."

"Alright. Fine." He sounds dejected, and Kate knows he doesn't believe her. Hell, she's not even sure if she believes her. "Just promise me you'll call when you get back?"

"We'll be back tomorrow. Going to school with Harry day after." She hesitates, chewing on her bottom lip. She shouldn't, but it's practically shreds anyway. Another minute won't hurt. "If you're not busy, you're welcome to come with us." She huffs a laugh. "Harry would love to show both of us off."

"Doesn't sound like a nice place, if you ask me."

"It's not, not really. I mean the teachers themselves are decent. I can't fault them. It's just… well, you saw. She doesn't do making friends properly. And I'd do anything to help her with it, but…"

"I can help."

"Yeah, I know. You're paying for her education. But there's no point pulling her out of there now and putting her through the trauma of going somewhere she doesn't know. And I'm not doing it to her."

"No, I mean – I don't have a nine till five job. I can write whenever the heck I want to. If it helps having a parent there with her… I mean, it's not every day of the week, right? I can spare a couple of days."

"You've got Alexis too."

"She loves spending time with my mother. And vice versa. And I have babysitters. If it helps Harry, then I'm willing."

Kate feels slightly taken aback. She doesn't know why, she'd always known that family is important to Castle, and he would do anything for Alexis, and now Harry, but he's willing to give up two days just so Harry isn't miserable at school. Oh, why did she have to end up with one of the good guys?

"I – thank you, Castle."

"Anytime, Kate. And you'll phone me when you're home?"

"Soon as I'm in through the door, if it makes you feel any better."

He laughed, deep and rich, and something flutters in her chest. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." She repeats, holding the phone to her ear long after he's hung up.