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Mention of the events in 'Time Is On My Side'.

Sam reveals what he did and Dean's little friend shows her hand and he realises who it is.

Chapter 11

"I couldn't help you if I was dead too." Sam was sitting on a chair in the middle of the floor, his brother leaning over him, his rage barely under control.

"I didn't ask you why Sam, I asked you what. What did you do?" Dean thought he already knew the answer to this but he wanted to hear his brother admit it. Admit that he had gone behind his back and done what he'd asked him not to.

"I'm sorry. We were running out of time, you were going to die Dean, I was desperate. Hell you did the same thing for me." Sammy tried to deflect some of Dean's anger back on him but his attempt was feeble.

"Oh no, don't you turn this on me. You were already dead when I had my moment of crass stupidity." Dean's face was inches from his, the veins on his neck standing out with his temper. "I had you die in my friggin' arms Sam. I had your blood on my hands." Dean put his hands on either side of Sam's face pulling him in. His eyes were wild. "I didn't think about what I was doing, I didn't sit and plan to sell my soul, it was my only option. I had no choice. You were dead and I couldn't live with that. I acted on impulse, didn't think it through right. This…this is so not the same." Dean straightened up and walked over to the door, leaning on the frame, needing to put some distance between him and Sam.

"I asked you a question Sammy. What did you do?" Dean tried to keep his voice calm; hide the fact that he wanted to take Sam and shake him. He turned and faced his brother, lent against the doorway, arms folded, one leg crossed over in front of the other, his stance defensive.

"Sam?"

Sam hesitated and then walked over to where his laptop sat on the table. He opened the bag it was in and pulled out what looked like bundles of photocopies. Dean stepped forward and pulled them from his brother grasp. Dean recognised the pages, couldn't believe that Sam had copied the damn books. He felt his anger start to boil again. "I knew it. You knew that I wouldn't let you try this didn't you, that's why you copied them, why you didn't make your usual huge fuss when I made you bury them? You stupid, stupid ass, did you think this was the answer, really? Do you think this would solve everything Sam? I can't believe you were actually dumb enough to attempt this."

Bobby was watching the exchange, lost; not really knowing what the hell Dean was talking about. "Ok, I've got the highlights but can you fill in the gaps? What the hell did your brother do? Why can't he die?"

Dean sighed. "Remember Doc. Benton, dad hunted him down a few years ago, cut out his heart?"

Bobby nodded, a vague recollection coming back to him. He remembered the heart bit if not all the actual story.

"Well he didn't die; he had discovered a formula for immortality. Sammy here tracked him down and we buried him alive with his journals to stop them being used"….Dean lifted the sheaves of paper in his hand…"but not obviously before Sam photocopied the same damn journals and used the formula on himself anyhow. Am I right, did I miss anything?"

Sam shook his head, scuffed his feet on the floor.

"What, cat got your tongue Sam?" Dean stuck the papers under his brother's nose.

"So did you make me immortal too? Is that how I came back?" Dean grabbed Sam's shirt and shook him. "What did you do to me? I told you I didn't want this, what the hell did you do to me Sam?"

"Dean." Bobby stepped forward and tried to pull Dean off of his brother but Dean pushed him away. "No Bobby, I want to know what this idiot did. I'm only gonna ask one more time Sam and then I swear I'm gonna start swinging. What did you do to me?"

"I didn't do anything to you." Sam looked up at him with a desperate look in his eye. "We couldn't beat her Dean, we both knew that. I couldn't help you if Lilith killed me and you wouldn't let me talk to Ruby so….." Sam looked down at the floor, wishing that it would open up and swallow him.

"You made yourself immortal to try and save me from the pit? Are you completely insane? I told you not to do this Sam, why didn't you listen to me?!" Dean was pacing the floor now, his hand to his forehead. "So if I'm not immortal how did you get me back?" Sam looked down at his feet again. "For god sake's Sam answer me!"

"It was your amulet."

Dean looked down. "My amulet?"

"There was another formula."

"So you messed with this crap twice?!"

"I found it by accident when I was looking for the last piece for the other one. He used it for bringing back the people he operated on if they died to soon on the table, so that the organs wouldn't be wasted. He used the formula and a personal belonging of the person he wanted to bring back and then he just needed a saline mixture and the belonging to touch their skin to bring them back. It was amazing Dean how he'd worked it all out, the guy was a genius." Sam's voice had way to much awe in it for Dean's liking. "I wasn't sure it would work, what with your soul being in hell, my tears where the final trigger, and then…. and then I woke up and you were gone….and I didn't know what to think."

Dean laughed. Bobby and Sam look at him. "That's why you were so damn worried that I was mad at you, why you thought I'd left because of you, you thought I'd figured it out somehow." Dean's stare was cold and hard as he closed back in on his brother. "Tell me Sam, what would I have been if you brought me back and my soul had stayed in hell? Huh? What kinda monster would you have made me?" Sam opened his mouth but no words came. Dean was on him again. "Didn't think of that did you? It still didn't work right though Sam, don't you get it? Maybe it was something you did that attached this thing to me and now…now, because of you, I've got to go back there to get rid of her. No way round it, isn't that right Bobby? Nice work Sam, great rescue!" Sam was wilting; he almost appeared to be shrinking under his brother's attack.

"Dean!" Bobby could see the distress in Sam's eyes at his brother raged at him. Dean was destroying him. Dean turned on Bobby with such a look of menace on his face that he struggled not to step back. Bobby touched his arm. "Enough, Dean. He's had enough."

"Son of a bitch." Dean turned to head for the door; Bobby tightened his grip on Dean's arm and tried to stop him, and he felt his anger drain. "Its ok, I'm not leaving, I just….I just need a minute…alone." Dean took Bobby's hand off his arm and walked outside.

He sat down on the porch with a sigh. He laced his fingers together behind his head and pulled his head down onto his knees, rocking gently. Part of him was so angry that he wanted to go back and check just how immortal his brother really was and part of him want to go and apologise, take back his angry words, check that Sam was ok. He did neither. He just sat there wondering what he and his brother had done to deserve this train wreck of a life.

He knew she was there before she even touched him. "Go…. away." She ran her hands along his back, up to his shoulders and pulled him upright against her. He thought again how strange it was that someone he couldn't see was so solid when she touched him. He felt her head rest against his, her breath on his face.

That was quite a show. You're very handsome when you're angry do you know that? I was going to join in but you were doing so well on your own, the pain you inflicted on your little brother was quite something, so much better than anything I could have done. I could almost taste the blood on his soul from all the cuts your tongue made. "Stop it." His soul doesn't hold a candle to your own though…she touched his face, he felt her lips brush his… yours is exquisite, did you know that, it's so filled with pain and despair and remorse; I could worship at its altar forever and never get tired. He did what he did to save you and you threw it back in his face. The pain that it caused, it was delicious. "Shut up!" All this hurt that little Sammy's going though, you caused it, you couldn't live without him, you brought him back and this is how it ended up.

Dean's voice was angry again but he kept it low. "What do you want from me? You can't kill Sam now; you can't kill me and you can't make me go back with you? So what do you want?"

I want to destroy your brother, I thought I had. I took you from him, brought him to his knees, but he's stronger than I thought, so much stronger than me. He's smarter, devious. He bested me once, almost destroyed me; I won't let that happen again. Your right I can't kill your brother, but I can use you to destroy him. Think of all the things I could make you say or do to him, how many ways I could get you to hurt him. You've got him half way there already. You can destroy someone without them dying Dean; you above everyone should know that.

He felt her hands on him and wished he could see her. He'd teach her about pain and remorse. He watched as the air changed in front of him, the pale flicker of something there. For a single moment his thought gave her substance, she was there visible in front of him and then she faded, but that moment was enough.

"It's you!" Seeing her face opened the floodgates and his memories from hell threatened to drown him as they washed through him.

"Yes, it's me." Her laugh hung in the air even as her image evaporated.

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Bobby knelt on the floor beside Sam, who had dropped to his knees when Dean had left.

"I did it for him, Bobby. I didn't know what else to do."

"I know, that's why he's mad at you, because you did for him. Dean's right you shouldn't have done it but that didn't give him the right to go at you like that, it just didn't."

"No, he asked me not to and I did it anyway Bobby, I deserved that."

"Sam, neither of you deserves any of the crap that's come your way lately, believe me. So tell me, how'd you do it? How'd it work?"

"The formula it makes an elixir that you drink over a couple of days. That's it, as simple as that. The formula's hell to figure out thought."

"So how'd you manage it then?"

"A friend at Stanford, his brother's a scientist; I sent him the bits I struggled with. I told him it was for my brother. I think they think it's for some sort of paper. I didn't enlighten them." Sam gave Bobby a weak smile.

"When did you work the whammy on Dean though, I mean you didn't do it before he died I take it, I think he mighta noticed?"

"No, I used it on him after the hounds, when I was tending to his wounds. I put the second formula in the water I washed him with then dipped the amulet in it and put it back on him. It took so long that I thought it hadn't worked, then I fell asleep and when I woke up he was gone. I forgot the salt mixture you see, there was so much going on Bobby I could barely think straight, but my tears, the salt in them, it was enough, that's what brought him back."

"So how did you know that you couldn't die? I mean how the hell do you test if you're immortal?"

"I didn't, I couldn't. That's why I summoned Ruby, sort of a Plan B, but then Dean would let me speak to her and I wasn't on my own after that. Lilith couldn't kill me though so I guess it worked…..unless Dean's right."

"About what?"

"He saw what happened before I died, he thought it was the demon thing"…. Sam looked at Bobby…. "and I let him think that."

"So really you're not sure if it worked or not, Lilith was the only test?"

"Well if you put it like that, but what I did to Dean worked so it must have."

"What if you getting Dean back was the demon thing too?"

Sam sat opened mouthed staring at Bobby. He had been sure it was the doc's formula's that had beaten Lilith, but what if Bobby and Dean were right.

"But Ruby said that I wasn't ready, that she'd have to show me?"

"Ruby said a lot of things, to a lot of people, doesn't mean they're true." It was Dean that had spoken. He walked over and put his hand down to Sam, pulling him to his feet. "I know who she is…it's not a Carona…. well she is but…….. it's Lilith."

"What?" Sam and Bobby asked the question in unison.

"She was outside; I saw her face, her real face, the one I saw in the house. I didn't pick her up in hell; when I died, I somehow took her with me."

Dean put his hands on his brother's shoulders.

"She wants to send me back to hell, keep me there, to hurt you, destroy you. It's all about you Sammy."

"So what do we do?" Sam looked at Bobby who shrugged "Don't look at me kid, I've got nothing."

"That's alright 'cos I do." Dean's smile was brighter than Bobby had seen it in weeks.

"So what's the plan?" Bobby wondered what Dean now knew that they didn't.

"We're gonna let her." Sam went to object but Dean silenced him. "I'm gonna take her right along in with me."

Bobby looked puzzled. "So how do we get you back out?"

"This marriage isn't a happy one; I aim to get a divorce on the other side." Dean's smile widened.

"Uh, huh, so I'll ask again, how do we get you back out?" Bobby's eyes were just full of concern.

"You don't, Sam will, you see, he's gonna follow me in."

"I'm what?"

"You can't die right? Doesn't matter if its formula or 'cos your hell spawn, she can't touch you. So little brother we are going on the ultimate road trip!"

"And how do we do that?" Sam's face was as puzzled as Bobby's.

"Know how I said that we couldn't just walk in? That's exactly what we're gonna do. I'm gonna get her to open the gate and let us do just that." Dean smiled at his brother, and Sam marvelled at the fact that his sure, confident sibling appeared to be back in all his glory.

"Oh, and I need your laptop!"

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