Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, special thanks to my lovely beta reader Polymnia Glamour. As I said before, I've decided to change the rating now. There's already a bit of some mature content in this chapter - no, not overly graphic sex - but if you're uneasy with sexual content, you should proceed with caution.


Chapter 11

Getting Bloody

Sirius was worried, always worried. He worried about James, who was really in a hell of a situation. He suspected that James had received a horrible letter today, possibly from an enraged reader of the Daily Prophet. James had not told anyone who the letter was from and what was written in there. He had just gulped when he had read it and then had hastily pocketed it. But Sirius was just as worried that people would find out the truth. Because then Remus would be in the same situation as James was now. The absurdity of the situation was enormous. On the one hand, Sirius wanted people to find out the truth so James would not be in trouble anymore but on the other, he did not want them to find out because then Remus would be in trouble.

And then even Professor Ötzli decided to discuss werewolves in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Maybe their teacher had hoped to calm everyone down and get to the facts to stifle all the rumours that were running high around the school. There were really the most ridiculous rumours: Some people claimed James had bitten Lily and turned her into a werewolf, too, and that was why she suddenly seemed to be friends with him. Others actually thought Professor Dumbledore wanted to spread lycanthropy and thus allowed werewolves at his school. Then of course there were the people who thought werewolves were unusually aggressive and even dangerous in their human form. James found Sickles on his chair or desk on a daily basis. Remus had joked that he should probably inform everyone who really was the werewolf so he would get all the money. But of course they all knew that James deserved the money for what he was going through.

Whatever Professor Ötzli's original intention had been to discuss werewolves in class - it backfired completely. Only five minutes had passed (in which they had covered the basic facts: things everyone knew already, like what werewolves were and how you could become one) when things got out of hands.

It was Snape who started it all. Sure, that slimeball would exploit this situation and torment James. Sirius felt the strongest urge to strangle the Slytherin when he asked innocently, "Professor, shouldn't we learn how to defend ourselves against werewolves? After all, this is Defence Against the Dark Arts, so we should be prepared on how to, ah, eliminate werewolves."

A vicious tremble ran through Remus' body. He had been tense ever since Professor Ötzli had announced they would discuss werewolves today but so far he had pretended to listen dutifully and take notes. Now, however, he grabbed his quill so hard that Sirius was sure it would snap any minute. He put his hand on Remus' knee and squeezed it reassuringly. Remus pressed his lips together and continued scribbling on his parchment with new fervour. He was almost the only one who did so. Most students stared expectantly at Professor Ötzli, curious to see how he would react.

"Well, at first you need to know the facts," said their teacher. "You need to know with what you're dealing before you decide to fire curses."

"Certainly a bloodthirsty monster is enough of a justification to fire curses?" Snape said smugly.

Peter raised his hand. Seldom did he participate voluntarily in class. Sirius just hoped he would not say anything stupid that gave them away...

"But werewolves are human, too," Peter said, his voice shaking a bit because he was not used to speaking his opinion in front of so many people. "They're just wolves sometimes. But they're still human. Inside."

Sirius smiled encouragingly at Peter. He was almost proud because Peter had the nerve to stand up against Snape.

"Oh, very convincing," Snape sneered. "I'm surprised by the logic in it. They're human. But wolves. But human. But wolves, too," he mimicked Peter. Peter blushed furiously and tried to disappear behind his book.

"Just shut up!" Lily said shrilly. "He's very obviously much more intelligent than you, not as prejudiced as you. He can make his own decision but you just believe these prejudices everyone tells."

Peter looked genuinely surprised. He certainly had never dreamed of being called more intelligent than Snape. James was gloating. Snape's jaw was working furiously but he really kept quiet now. But instead, other people spoke up.

"Yes, it's all nice saying werewolves are human, too, but everyone knows they hunt humans. So I'm hopefully justified to defend myself if I get attacked?" It was a Ravenclaw whose name Sirius didn't even know. He had never before said something in class. "I'm allowed to defend myself against human beings that attack me, too, right?"

"But it's not the werewolf's fault if they attack someone!" Sirius said hotly without raising his hand first. "They don't want to kill but they can't do anything against it if they're in their wolf form!"

"That's rubbish," said a Hufflepuff girl, who was known for being really smart. "Just saying it's not their fault, it's making things pretty easy. Murder is always murder. Saying they didn't want to do it... Well, if they really didn't want to do it, they wouldn't do it. Human beings have a free will. If you imply that werewolves don't have a free will, then you just confirm that they're not human."

"That's different!" Sirius protested. "It's just different when they're in their wolf form! They really can't control it but that doesn't make them less human the rest of the month!"

"Exactly!" Lily backed him up. Sirius' eyes almost popped out of his head because this was the first time that he and Lily shared an opinion. "Okay, so maybe werewolves aren't human during full moon and don't have a free will then but if you kill them, you kill the human that he will be the next day, as well. Then you are the murderer."

"Murderer?! If I try to defend myself? Murderer?! This is ludicrous!"

And so it went on and on. Professor Ötzli tried several times to calm them all down but people were shouting and sometimes they clapped or cheered when they liked what someone else had said. They quoted statistics about murders committed by werewolves, the others demanded human rights for werewolves, then someone said werewolves weren't human but beasts because they were enlisted in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. They 'discussed' (ranted, screamed, argued) werewolf camps and other security measures, the prejudices of the wizarding world, Death Eaters, the Ministry, responsibility towards civilians...

James and Remus were the only ones who did not take part in it. Both of them looked rather sick when they heard ideas like establishing separate schools for werewolves, where they should be properly educated and trained to stay away from human blood. Yes, the general agreement in the class was that werewolves had a right to life but not a life among 'normal' humans. Because everyone knew that werewolves were easily drawn to dark magic, and even if it was - maybe - just because they were treated so badly, there should be measures to ensure that innocent wizards (and Muggles) were safe.

Sirius participated loudly and only paused for a moment when Remus stood up abruptly, exchanged a few words with Professor Ötzli and literally fled from the classroom. Sirius would have liked nothing more but run after him and cheer him up but he knew it would look even more suspicious. Fortunately, soon afterwards the bell rang to signify the end of the lesson. Most people continued arguing but Sirius, James and Peter left immediately. James seemed to know where Remus had gone. He led the way towards a boys' bathroom. When they burst inside, Peter screamed. Sirius heart stopped altogether.

The sight that met them would later haunt him in nightmares. There was Remus, feebly braced over the washbasin. He was covered in blood, fresh blood. It was all over his face, his hands and his shirt.

Blood. Everywhere.

Worst of all: He was pointing his wand directly at his own face. The hand that was holding the wand shook violently. Sirius would have fainted if it had not been so important that he stopped this.

"No," he whispered, his eyes glued to Remus' bloodstained face. "Don't, please don't, Remus, don't do this." He could not control his voice at all; it came out flat and barely audible.

Remus slowly turned to him. His eyes looked so tired... When he lowered his wand a little bit, Sirius jumped forward (ignoring James' cry of, "Sirius, what are you doing?!") and knocked the wand out of Remus' hand. Remus yelped and they landed together on the hard floor tiles. But Sirius did not care in the slightest that he hit his elbow really hard as long as the wand was far away from Remus.

"What were you doing?" he shrieked and suddenly he had his voice back. He was trembling all over and grabbed Remus' collar to shake him roughly. "Are you mad?!" He had tears in his eyes, his voice cracking with emotions. "What do you think you were doing? How – how could you do this?! W-W-What if we'd come too late?!" He felt like vomiting. He pulled Remus into a bone crushing hug and kissed him again and again and again.

"Sirius, stop this, I'm fine." Remus tried to entangle himself from the embrace but he did not have a chance. "You'll get yourself all bloody."

"Get myself bloody?" Sirius choked between kisses. "So what? I don't give a damn about getting myself bloody right now." He pulled Remus tighter and stroked his hair, his shoulders, his back, his face... "Never do this again, okay? Please, promise me that you'll never try this again."

"O-Okay, I promise. You can let go off me now."

But Sirius did not let go off him. James put a hand on his shoulder and tried to subtly move him away.

"Sirius, calm down, he really is fine."

"He's fine?!" Sirius shouted at James, and he had never been this angry at his best friend before. "Fine?! Then why's he covered in blood?!"

"It was a nosebleed, nothing more," said James and he even chuckled a bit. "Really, Sirius, why are you always so overdramatic?"

"Nosebleed?" Sirius echoed faintly.

"Yeah, just a nosebleed," Remus confirmed.

Sirius leant back a bit to have a closer look at Remus' face and, indeed, there was still blood trickling out of his nose.

"Let me." James crouched down next to them, swished his wand and the blood stopped flowing.

"Thanks," Remus mumbled.

"You're an idiot, Moony," said James. "Why didn't you heal it yourself? You gave Sirius and Peter almost a heart attack." Peter was leaning weakly back against the wall. His face was chalk white. Sirius supposed he must look just like that. His heart was still beating terribly fast.

"It didn't work," Remus said embarrassedly, "the counter-curse. I didn't manage to do it properly."

"Counter-curse? Why?" Sirius asked. "Who cursed you?"

"I," James answered. He stood up to water a bit of toilet paper and handed it to Remus so he could clean up his face.

"You. You?!" Sirius could not believe his ears. How could James do this?! "Why, in the name of the fucking Flobberworms? I thought you'd finally understood when you heard what they all said in the lesson but you're still so --"

"He asked me to do it," James explained and fetched more toilet paper.

"Oh, sure, because Remus is masochistic and likes to have his nose bleeding."

"Because I needed a reason to leave the classroom." Remus rolled his eyes and carefully wiped some of the blood on his chin away. "Really, it would've looked pretty suspicious if I'd just run away."

"And you were too preoccupied shouting at everyone else," James added. "How statistics that said that if a hundred werewolves' committed twenty murders it meant one werewolf committed twenty murders and ninety-nine werewolves were innocent."

Sirius tried to grin but it did not work. His lips were quivering too much - as did the rest of his body. It seemed that his heart had to beat this fast to make up for the time it had stopped earlier when he had seen Remus' face full of blood.

"I-I think I'll have to go to the loo," he mumbled and moved towards the cubicles on wobbly legs. It took him some time to lock the door as his hands were shaking that wildly. He pressed his forehead and palms against the cool tiles in order to still his shaking but it did not help much. His breathing came shallow, he tried to focus on it and counted, one, two three: breathe in, one, two, three: breathe out. He felt so queasy, as if he would throw up any minute. Maybe that would be a relief, to get it all out... But he remained leaning against the wall for support, willing the horrible images out of his mind. For a moment there, he had thought... No, don't think about it; don't think about it at all.

He heard James' and Remus' soft voices, they were talking to each other about what had made Remus run out of the classroom.

"You shouldn't worry so much about what they say," James said.

"Easy of you to say," Remus mumbled. "It's not as if people suggest you are locked away to rid the world of your bloodthirsty presence."

James chuckled briefly. "But they do. They think I'm the werewolf, so they're only talking about me."

"Yes, but you know it's not true. You know what they're saying doesn't apply to you."

"It's the same with you."

Remus snorted. "Not really. I am a werewolf, so it's not as if I can say it's all just a big misunderstanding and it has nothing to do with me."

"It doesn't apply to you any more than it does apply to me. It's just because you choose to believe it."

"It's not about choosing to believe them. I'm a werewolf, you're not, and that's all there is to it."

"No! I know all the insults they're throwing at me are wrong, so I don't let them get to me. But it's the same with you! You know it's not true what they're saying about werewolves, so why do you let them get you down when you know they're wrong?!"

"But --"

"If you're going to tell me again that it's different because I'm not a werewolf, I'm going to hex you a nosebleed again. There is no difference. It's all in your head!"

Sirius thought James was pretty harsh with Remus, even though he was partly - or mostly - right. Another part of Sirius was jealous of James. Because of the natural way he dealt with Remus' lycanthropy. He did not treat Remus any differently just because he was a werewolf. He had not rejected Remus for it or had been wary when he had found out but in return he did not allow Remus any privileges, did not grant him the right to act differently because he was a werewolf.

Sirius envied the openness with which James could talk to Remus about anything werewolf-related. With Sirius and Remus, it was different. They mostly avoided the topic and if it came up, things would get awkward or Sirius would get over worried or overprotective because he felt he had to prove again and again that he was fine with Remus being a werewolf. Sirius did not have the nerve to joke about anything that had to do with werewolves. James could do it, and he seemed to understand some things about Remus much better than Sirius did. The harder Sirius tried to be normal about it, the worse it got.

"Hey, Sirius, you still in there?" Remus knocked lightly against the cubicle's door.

"Yes, yes. I'm -- fine." Of course he wasn't; his heart was still beating too fast.

"The others have already gone to lunch. Don't you want to come, too?"

"Not hungry," Sirius mumbled.

"Sirius. Please open the door," Remus said softly.

Sirius didn't want to. He needed more time to compose himself. What had James called him? Over-dramatic, yes, that's what he was. Over-dramatic, unable to control himself, deranged... Sure, what would you expect from someone coming from a family like that? All that inbreeding... no wonder he was a bit loony. Bad genes.

"Sirius?" Remus said again.

Shutting oneself away in the toilets was probably even loonier, so he finally opened the door and stared defiantly at Remus. They locked gazes but none of them said anything. Sirius could not find the words, did not want to express his fears. His fears that all of this would be too much for James and Remus. His fears of living in a world so full of prejudices. His fears of losing Remus. He tried to hold Remus' steady gaze but he could not do so much longer and lowered his eyes to the floor.

"Sorry for making you worry like that," Remus said. Sirius felt a thumb caressing his cheek. He took a deep breath to compose himself.

"Do you think insanity can be inherited?" he asked, still speaking to the floor.

The thumb caressing his cheek paused for a moment in its movements.

"I honestly don't know," Remus finally answered.

"Okay." Sirius looked up briefly to see Remus staring intently at him. "Okay," he said again, and then they were kissing. It was messy because Sirius had to come up too often to breathe, because he accidentally bit Remus' tongue and made him wince, because Remus stumbled backwards against the cubicle's door and made their noses collide rather painfully and because Sirius' shaking hands could not caress Remus' face properly. And yet they could not bring themselves to stop.

They tumbled backwards against the wall and leant against it for support. Sirius grabbed Remus' face forcefully to crash their mouths together again. He closed his eyes to lose himself in the sensations, to forget everything else for a short blissful moment. Remus allowed him to fully control the kiss... No, not the 'kiss' - it was breathless snogging now. Remus' hands ran down his sides, came to rest on his hips and pulled their bodies still closer together. Sirius could not suppress a low moan. He was rapidly becoming aroused. He opened his eyes to see Remus' face flushed a deep shade of red. From pleasure and excitement but probably also from embarrassment because there was no doubt he could feel Sirius' arousal.

"I'm not sure this is the right place," Remus breathed against Sirius' lips.

"Yeah... 's not... I mean, a bathroom's not really..." But they did not stop rubbing their bodies against each other.

"What if someone... you know, wants to go to the loo?"

Sirius' thoughts were a bit blurry, which had much to do with Remus' hands on his hips. Where is my wand? he wondered fuzzily. It should be in my cloak. But where is my cloak? Oh, it must've landed on the floor. Remus was still wearing his cloak, so Sirius pulled Remus' wand out of it (and used this opportunity to rid Remus of his cloak) and sealed the door. He needed three attempts until the Locking Charm finally worked.

He turned back to Remus, who leant against the wall, his chest heaving and falling rapidly and red blotches on his cheeks. Sirius smiled and leant in to brush Remus' hair out of his eyes.

"Be careful not to step on anything," Remus said.

"Hm?"

"Our wands. They're on the floor." Remus gestured down.

"Oh. Yeah." Sirius kicked them aside, and then Remus pulled him into another warm and wet kiss.

It was soon becoming too much. Sirius' breathing was too quick, his heartbeat was racing and he was shaking – but for altogether different reasons than before. Remus' hands squeezing his buttocks made him almost come in his pants. Somehow, his hand found a way into Remus' pants. Remus gasped and jerked violently at the touch.

"This okay?" Sirius muttered breathlessly.

"Ah... Yes, yes, it's... mm, fine." Remus was fumbling at his belt, trying to return the favour.

And then Sirius was already coming and Remus followed soon afterwards, and Sirius was trembling, and feeling dizzy and light-headed and confused and so very much in love.

He rested his head against Remus' shoulder and Remus' arms wrapped loosely around his waist. They were silent for some time, regaining their breath, coming back to reality, to sanity.

"Let's go back?" Remus finally suggested. "The others are probably wondering where we are."

"Okay."

Remus picked up their cloaks, put his own back on and dressed Sirius, too. Sirius caught Remus' hands in his and squeezed them tightly. When their eyes met, Remus' smile was radiant.

"You should smile more often," Sirius said. His voice sounded odd, a bit hoarse. "You're beautiful when you smile."

Remus' smile grew only wider at that, and so did Sirius'. They kissed again. Three times, four times, maybe five times. But then they really went back, hands clasped together all the time.

"Sirius? Er... Hi?"

They turned around to see Hestia Jones hovering behind them. She looked quite apprehensive.

"Hi." Sirius smiled at her.

She returned a brief smile and looked around quickly. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure. Do you want to talk to both of us or -?"

"Both of you is fine. But we should go somewhere more private."

They used the secret passageway again where Hestia had overheard them. Sirius hoped it did not take too long. He was a bit uncomfortable because he felt, well, sticky from the incident in the bathroom.

"I've maybe an idea," Hestia announced, "how to pretend Remus isn't a werewolf." She blushed slightly when she suddenly had both boys' full attention. "I mean, did you ever think of Polyjuice Potion?"

Sirius frowned and tried to remember what Polyjuice Potion was. Really, there were so many potions and ingredients - how on earth were you supposed to remember all their names?!

"That's the one that changes someone into another person, isn't it?" Remus said.

"Yes, it --"

"Hey, that's great!" Sirius interrupted her. "You're a genius, Hestia! Perfect, James just has to drink Polyjuice Potion and turn into Remus, then he's away during full moon and Remus is there." Suddenly he chuckled. "The only problem is that James will certainly give Remus a bad reputation during the few days he poses as him. Oh, and he will be so thrilled to act as my boyfriend." Sirius could hardly control his chuckles anymore.

"I think there actually is another problem," said Remus, who had not joined in Sirius' amusement. "If James changes into me, he sort of has my body and probably also my werewolf bite and that means..."

"Oh, I didn't think of that," Hestia admitted. "But... I don't think he'd become a werewolf. I mean, you keep your own brain and your own voice when you take Polyjuice Potion. I don't really know that much about werewolves but it's not just the bite, is it? It's sort of inside of you, isn't it?"

"Yes, you could say that," Remus mumbled embarrassedly. "But still, I don't want to take that risk. What if he transforms nonetheless? We can't be really sure of it."

"I can check it in the library," Hestia offered. "But there's still another problem: You need a month to brew that potion. We wouldn't be able to finish it in time. I thought maybe you knew someone to get Polyjuice Potion from?"

"That won't be a problem," Sirius said. "There's a shop in Knockturn Alley, well, it's the kind of shop where you'd get illegal potions."

"How'd you know such shops in Knockturn Alley?" Remus asked with a little frown.

Sirius became defensive immediately. "Because that was the sort of lovely place where my dearest Mum took me shopping."

"Oh," Remus and Hestia said together.

"Wouldn't the shop's owner tell your mother if you bought something there?" Hestia asked.

"No, he's reliable. If you tell him it's strictly personal, he won't tell anyone. He has a reputation to keep. Otherwise his shop wouldn't be running so well if he told the whole world who had bought which dark artefact. And he certainly doesn't want to lose me as his customer. I mean, I'm of age now, I have the money and I have the name for a shop like that."

Hestia looked a bit taken aback by his sarcasm. Remus looked at him with sympathy. Sirius scowled. He wished James was here now to crack a stupid joke.

"So you can buy Polyjuice Potion," Hestia said businesslike, "and I'll check again if it's safe to turn into someone who's a werewolf, okay?"

"Okay," Remus said. "It's really great that you try to help us. Thanks."

So it was decided. Remus and Sirius went back to Gryffindor Tower. On their way upstairs to their dormitory, they almost ran into their dorm mates, Chris McKinnon and Alex Cohen, who dragged their trunks down the spiral staircase.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked James and Peter when they arrived in their dormitory. "Where are Alex and Chris going? Something I missed?"

"They don't want to sleep in one room with me anymore," James said, rolling his eyes.

"They're idiots," Peter added. "They think it's too dangerous to be in a room with a werewolf."

"Idiots!" Sirius ranted, too. "Are they afraid, or what? Idiotic cowards."

"I won't complain," James said, trying to appear unaffected. "The whole dormitory is just to the four of us now. We have more place, we can plot in peace, we can be open about the whole werewolf-thing... It's really perfect."

So they all tried to pretend everything was really perfect. They drank numerous bottles of butterbeer, worked a bit on the Marauder's Map and informed James of the plan to use Polyjuice Potion to disguise Remus' identity. Needless to say, he made a big fuss about having to act as Sirius' boyfriend but in the end he agreed – under the condition that Sirius did not – under no circumstances – kiss him.


Author's Note: Cheers to everyone who guessed correctly with the Polyjuice Potion! Wanna predict what will happen next?