A/N this is one of those that I'm not happy with but I'm trying to get this fic done so here it is. One more post and this is over.

Hospital beds have been a part of Sam's life since birth. He was born in one of the many beds of Lawrence Memorial hospital in Kansas. His mother spent 16 hour in that bed before he entered the world the way most children do, screaming and red. He doesn't remember this. After the fire, John never took them to the hospital unless it was something he couldn't take care of at home. When it was bad enough for a hospital visit, John always got them in and out of the emergency room as fast as possible, no over night stays.

The first hospital bed Sam remembers was in Blue Earth Minnesota. He was all of 6 years. A vengeful old ghost set into John, Cable had to drag him to the hospital. After the nurses drugged John up on the good stuff, Cable called father Jim to go pick up Dean and Sam.

Father Jim went round and collected the boys from the motel and drove them over to the hospital. It was late, the head nurse didn't want to let them in. Dean bated his long lashes and sniffled, he pinched Sam's arm till Sam cried. The head nurse caved and escorted them to the room. Dad looked broke in a way Sam had never seen him look. He crawled into the bed and cried for an hour curled against his dad side. When Sam awoke he was back in the motel room, Dean curled around him Father Jim asleep in the chair next to the bed.

Sam at 22 was use to hospital beds. He had never lost anyone in a hospital. There where darker things to be found under motel beds. Hospitals were nothing to be scared of just a pit stop before heading for home. At times they could be seen as a vacation. Hospitals were a part of the job. You got hurt in this game and sometime the first aid kit didn't cut it. Sam always figured if any of them, John, Dean, himself, were to die on the job it would be instant not locked up in an over bright hospital. He figured he'd never live long enough to make it to the hospital so there was no fear to be found in the sterile white halls, the smell of clean fluids, the sight of an IV cord. Winchesters were strong, they could take anything you hurled their way, the bigger the odds stacked against them, the more likely there where to beat them. Sam always assumed the fact that you made it to the hospital was half the battle. Hurt like the hunt was half mind over matter.

The first time Sam feared a hospital bed, Dean was laying in it, face as pale as he'd ever seen it making jokes about the fucking snuggle fabric softener bear. His brother was dyeing.