CHAPTER 11: MELEE
"I don't believe it." Olec said in a hushed voice. "It is a cartoon. There is a cartoon car in front of us."
Robert didn't even look at the Finnish wizard. He just gawked at the Mach 5. Inside the cockpit, Speed Racer himself whipped his head back and forth, an incredulous expression on his smooth round face.
"My Dad told me how he messed up this spell one time on a DVD and let loose characters from this cartoon on Hogwarts." Harold Thomas took a couple hesitant steps toward the race car. "But seeing it for real . . ."
Somehow, Robert managed to glance over at Harold. Dad and some of his extended English family had mentioned that story to him a few times. Dean Thomas had been watching an episode of the old cartoon Animaniacs when he tried to make the scene fill his entire dorm room. Instead, Yakko, Wakko and Dot were accidentally released into the real world and caused several hours of havoc before being sent back into the DVD. Wakko even ate Dad's autographed photo of Boston Bruins legend Ray Bourque. Dad had never forgiven Dean for that.
A whirlwind of noise filled the air. The crash of wood. The screech of tires. The roar of an engine. Another cartoon car shot out of the wreckage of Yildun's Marvelous Muggle Emporium. Yellow with black stripes, a pointed nose and a raised back. The number 9 was emblazoned on the hood. The second car pulled up next to the Mach 5. A tall man in a white jumpsuit and a black mask leaped out of the car.
"Racer X, how did we end up here?" Speed asked as he jumped out of the Mach 5 and scanned Hogsmeade. "One minute we're racing in the mountains and the next we're here. How is that possible?"
"I don't know, Speed. This is all very strange. Let's ask the inhabitants where we are."
Robert held his breath as both animated figures strode over to him and his friends.
"Excuse me. My name is Speed Racer and this is Racer X. Where exactly are we?"
Robert's mouth fell open. Speed Racer was talking to him. A cartoon character was actually talking to him.
"Um, you're in Hogsmeade." Cynthia Weasley managed to find her voice. "In England."
Speed's eyes widened. "Ahhh, England? That's impossible. How can we be in England? We were racing in . . ."
"You! You lot!"
Everyone turned in the direction of the shout.
"Oh bloody hell," grumbled Hugo.
Jovanny Yildun lumbered toward them, huffing and puffing as he reached Robert and his friends.
"You did this! You destroyed my store!"
"You're barking mad!" Cynthia yelled back.
"Mister Yildun." Rose stepped forward, speaking in a calm voice. "No one here had anything to do with . . ."
"Don't lie to me, you little wench!"
"Back off!" Robert surged forward, fists balled.
"Don't talk to my sister like that!" Hugo jumped to Robert's side, teeth bared.
"I'm calling the aurors!" Yildun roared. "I'll see all of you put in Azkaban for this!"
"What's going on here?" demanded a new voice.
Robert and the others turned. A tall man with receding red hair marched purposefully toward them.
"Uncle George," Albus blurted.
"You put them up to this, Weasley!" Yildun pointed at George Weasley, then at his store. "Look what they did to my shop!"
"You're daft, Yildun. I heard all the commotion from down the street and thought I'd see what was going on." George eyed Robert and his friends. "What a surprise to find you lot in the middle of it." He said that with a sly grin.
"Surprise my arse! They cast a spell on a Speed Racer DVD and let them loose to wreck my store!" Yildun jabbed a finger at Speed and Racer X.
George turned to the two cartoon characters. His head moved back in surprise. "Oi, I remember you two. You helped us fight the Stacyx."
Speed canted his head in bewilderment.
"Well, nice to see you again." George turned back to Yildun. "Look. Why don't you just go back to being . . . sane, all right? My nephews and nieces and their friends aren't in the habit of destroying shops."
"Liar! It's not enough your father tried to ruin my life, now you're out to do it!"
"You're out of your gord, Yildun."
Robert cranked an eyebrow. He couldn't imagine someone like Arthur Weasley intentionally trying to destroy anyone's life.
"Out of my gord, am I? We'll see about that when I have the Ministry of Magic lock you all up!"
"Excuse me, please." Racer X stepped between Yildun and the others. "We have to get back to our race. It's very important. If you could just . . ."
More car engines roared. The witches and wizards lining both sides of the street watched in awe as more cartoon race cars sped out of the remains of Yildun's shop. Rounded dark-colored ones. They all skidded to a stop in front of them. A tall man in a cape and a helmet with a lone feather jumped from the cockpit and stood regally on the hood of his car.
"Speed Racer, what sort of trickery is this?"
"This is none of my doing, Captain Terror. I'm as much in the dark as you are."
"You lie. I suspect you are afraid the Car Acrobatic Team will defeat you and you wish to drop out of our race."
"I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of anyone."
"Why do these people talk so fast?" Lily asked, observing the cartoon characters. "And so melodramatically?"
"You know, kids . . ." George began herding them toward the Post Office. "I think we should step to the side and let the make believe people settle their own differences."
"What about my store, Weasley!?" Yildun shouted over the arguing Speed Racer and Captain Terror.
"You got a bloody wand, don't you? Use it to fix your shop!" George turned away and muttered under his breath. "You git."
He then looked around at the kids. "You guys didn't have anything to do with all this, did you?"
"Of course not." Cynthia sounded indignant. "We were just looking through some DVDs to find something for Boris. Then that great pillock goes mental on us, making a big deal about our last name."
"Yeah, Uncle George." Robert looked up at him. "What's his problem with the Weasleys? Did your Dad really do something to him?"
"He's exaggerating. What is it the Muggles say? Making a mountain out of a . . . well, not a gnome hole? Help me out, what is . . ."
A grinding mechanical noise emanated from the large hole in Yildun's shop. A squat black vehicle with tank treads and two big guns on its roof rolled onto the street, followed by a couple dozen animated men in blue uniforms and helmets carrying stubby assault rifles. Another blue-clad man stood atop the vehicle, his face covered in a hood. On the chest of each man was an emblem of a red cobra.
"Ahhh, such a quaint little town," the hooded man hissed. "Let's burn it to the ground! COOO-BRAAAAA!!"
"COOO-BRAAAAA!!" The troopers shouted. They raised their weapons and fired.
Blue flashes of light zipped through the air. People screamed and ran. Bolts struck the outer walls of the Hogsmeade shops with electric snaps.
"Get down!" George yanked out his wand and shoved Cynthia and Lily to the ground with one swipe of his arm. He cast a Shield Spell as the others flopped on their bellies.
Robert's heart nearly pounded through his chest. He felt cold all of the sudden. Still sweat coated his skin. His wide, unblinking eyes watched as laser bolts saturated the air. Witches and wizards screamed and nearly stampeded over one another. Several hurried into the shops. A few stood their ground, casting Shield Spells or Stunning Spells. Two COBRA troopers fell when struck by red bolts.
Robert trembled. Cartoon characters or not, this was real! People were shooting up Hogsmeade.
People were shooting at him!
Another thought punched through his terror.
Rose!
He started to look over his shoulder when the guns of the vehicle opened fire. A nearby storefront vanished in a geyser of flames. Flaming pieces of wood spiraled through the air. Robert covered his head with his arms. Seconds later, he hesitantly raised his head.
The Mach 5 roared straight at the COBRA combat vehicle. Just as its guns lowered, four jacks popped out under the race car, lifting it into the air. The hooded man standing on the vehicle shrieked in terror and jumped off, the Mach 5 missing him by inches. It hurtled toward a cluster of COBRA troopers, all of whom scattered as the car slammed onto the ground. Speed Racer twisted the wheel of the Mach 5, spinning donuts and throwing clouds of dust onto the troopers. Racer X then drove up, jumped out of his car and knocked out two bad guys with quick karate chops. He picked up a fallen laser rifle and blazed away at the COBRA troopers.
Flames licked several store fronts. Smoke wafted over High Street. A vehicle from the Car Acrobatic Team caught fire. Several members of the group dragged wounded teammates out of the line of fire.
"You dare attack the Car Acrobatic Team?" Captain Terror shook his fist in the air. "You, men of COBRA, shall rue the day you crossed paths with us!"
Captain Terror jumped in his car and gunned the engine. The car shot forward. Two COBRA troopers bounced off the hood. Robert jerked at the sickening dull thud of metal on human flesh.
They're just cartoons.
But the noise sounded so real, as did the mangled, bleeding bodies of the COBRA troopers.
The COBRA vehicle spun around, training its guns on Captain Terror's car. Two blue bolts burst from the barrels.
"Reversio!" George bellowed.
The bolts looped back around and streaked back toward the COBRA vehicle. They struck the gun barrels. A fireball tore the vehicle in half.
The laser fire petered out. Robert trembled, watching Speed Racer and Racer X pointing laser rifles at the surviving COBRA troopers. They were backed up by a handful of witches and wizards.
Robert's brain told him to get up. Fear kept him rooted to the ground. Probably a good thing. He doubted his legs could support him right now.
"You in charge of all this?" George stomped over to the hooded man, who rested on one knee.
"Please, please!" The COBRA Commander raised his hands. "Don't hurt me!"
"Oh, you're a brave one without your bully boys, aren't you?"
The COBRA Commander's hands shook as George drew closer, wand at the ready.
"Who are these people?" Speed kept his rifle leveled at the defeated troopers. "Are they friends of yours, Captain Terror?"
"Speed Racer, you are a fool. They attacked us as well as you. We have a new enemy . . ."
A female scream split the air. More engine noises came from the shattered store.
"What now?" Albus asked in a shaky voice.
More COBRA troopers surged out of Yildun's shop.
"Speed! Look out!"
Both Racer X and Speed dove behind their cars as the newscomers sprayed the air with laser fire.
"You fools!" COBRA Commander's body convulsed with laughter. "My reinforcements have arrived! Your doom is at hand. COOO-BR-"
"Shut your gob!" George launched a Stunning Spell into the cartoon character's chest. He collapsed in a heap.
Now vehicles rolled out of the store. Three of those squat tank-like things, along with several sleek open cockpit cars with large wheels and dual-mounted guns on either side. A bubble-shaped flying craft hovered over the COBRA troopers, with a single pilot and a big gun mounted underneath.
The whine of laser fire engulfed Robert's ears. Sweat drenched his clothing. He wanted to get up, to run.
Fear pinned him to the ground.
"Run! Get out of here!" George hollered at them. He then sprinted toward the battle.
"Uncle George!" Rose cried out.
He sensed the others around him get to their feet.
C'mon, Robert! Move it!
The non-stop whine of lasers and the thump of explosions wouldn't let him rise. On the ground he was safe. On the ground he wouldn't . . .
Thunder slammed into his skull. He felt himself yelp, but couldn't hear it.
Slowly, reluctantly, he turned his head.
The Post Office had been reduced to a charred pile of rubble.
"Cynthia!" Rose cried out.
Robert gasped, the stench of smoke and burning ozone filling his nostrils and lungs.
Cynthia Weasley lay on the ground, unmoving.
"NO!!" Robert pushed himself to all fours and hurried over. Rose and Hugo were already at her side, with Rose shaking her older cousin's shoulder.
"Get her out of here!" Efram Longbottom hollered as he cast a Shield Spell. Laser bolts bounced of the energy field.
Robert started to get to two feet. His legs shook so bad he fell back to all fours.
"I will take her." Olec grabbed Cynthia in a fireman's carry. Blood trickled down her cheek. The Finnish wizard groaned and jumped over the pile of debris. The others joined him. Olec gently laid her on the ground. A never-ending barrage of laser bolts streaked overhead.
"Cynthia! Cynthia!" Rose's eyes glistened as she gripped her cousin's shoulders.
Cynthia's head rolled slowly side-to-side. She moaned groggily. Robert closed his eyes and sighed. She was alive. Out of it, but alive.
"Look out!" Lily screamed.
Robert followed her terror-filled eyes. He shook violently.
The COBRA assault pod hovered over them. The pilot eyed them evilly as the craft's huge gun pointed right at them.
"Wingardium Leviosa!"
Several smoldering wooden boards erupted from the pile. They slammed into the assault pod. The pilot howled as the craft wobbled and flipped over. It bounced on the ground and smashed into a burning store across the street.
Gaping, Robert swung his head to the right.
James Potter knelt beside the wreckage of a Car Acrobatic team car, gripping his wand and smiling.
"You lot need any help?"
"James!" Rose hollered. "Get over here. Cynth-"
Laser blasts pelted the wreckage James used for cover. He stuck his wand over the rear of the car and cast Stunning Spells at a squad of COBRA Troopers.
"Well, if he's gonna fight . . ." Albus' face scrunched up in determination. Squatting, he extended his wand arm over the pile of debris.
"Stupefy . . . Stupefy!"
His first three spells missed.
"Dammit!"
"Over there!" Harold Thomas pointed to a cloud of smoke floating over High Street. Robert could just make out a rather tall silhouette running toward them. But it didn't . . .
"Stupefy!"
A red beam shot from Albus' wand. It cut through the smoke and struck the silhouette. The person jerked and fell to the ground.
"Yeah! I got him!" Albus pumped his fist
"Nice shot, Albus!" Harold slapped him on the shoulder.
Robert broke into a smile. His eyes locked on the prone form surrounded by the smoke. The wind started pushing it down High Street. He quickly made out some details on the downed man. Like robes and . . .
Red hair?
"Al-Albus?"
"Yeah?" Albus still smiled, proud of himself.
"You . . . oh jeez, man. You stunned Uncle George!"
Albus' jaw dropped. "No. No way! No way did I . . ." He stared at the still form of George Weasley.
"NOO!!"
"Dammit!" Lily hollered. "Will someone get help for Cynthia?"
Rose turned to her. Lily's face contorted in a mix of anger and worry.
"You and Harold take her back to Hogwarts. We'll cover you."
"I want to stay and fight," Harold protested.
"Just do what I say!" Rose ordered.
Harold frowned, but crawled over to Lily's side. Together they picked up Cynthia and carried her off while Rose and Efram cast Shield Spells.
Come on, O'Bannon. Make yourself useful.
Robert clenched his wand tightly. He took deep breaths, trying to steady himself, instead hacking on the suffocating stench of smoke and dust. He tried to ignore it and peered over the debris of the post office.
Two of the futuristic-looking COBRA assault cars sped down High Street to his left.
An idea ignited in his brain. He knew just how to take care of them.
"Freezium!"
A white beam shot out his wand. Ice coated the dirt road. Robert smiled wide. Dad had been a master at the Freezing Charm. And now he'd . . .
The COBRA vehicles skidded to a halt, one just short of the ice, the other on it. The driver fought to straighten out his car.
The Mach 5 suddenly flashed by in his peripheral vision. Robert gasped as the race car spun around and around. He also noticed something else. Whirling buzzsaws extending from the hood.
Oh crap! Speed must have been trying to attack the COBRA vehicles when he . . .
No. No friggin' way!
The Mach 5 smashed into Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop. The wooden wall collapsed around the race car.
Robert couldn't move, couldn't blink. He stared in disbelief as the two COBRA vehicles made it across the ice patch and blasted two cars belonging to the Car Acrobatic Team. His eyes then moved to the debris covering the Mach 5.
I didn't mean . . . I can't . . . how could this . . .
A scream of horror sliced through his daze. Robert whipped around.
"What the hell are those things?" Hugo demanded.
Green bulbous creatures oozed out of Yildun's shop. Their tentacles flailed about them. Every time one touched a COBRA trooper, their bodies glowed blue and collapsed. The bad guys switched from shooting up Hogsmeade to firing on the monsters.
Their lasers had no effect.
"I think they're from that DVD Lily picked up," Efram said. "The Green Slime."
The monsters waded through the COBRA ranks, electrocuting more troopers. Several dropped their weapons and ran off.
The slime monsters continued advancing, heading toward the damaged stores, toward witches and wizards huddled behind what cover they could find, toward James behind the scorched car . . .
Toward Robert and his friends.
Suddenly one of the monsters burst into flames. Then another . . . another. Soon nearly all the creatures had transformed into macabre greenish-orange candles.
Several men and women hurried around the burning monsters. Elation filled Robert when he noticed the insignia on their robes.
They were aurors.
"Thank, Merlin," Efram said breathlessly.
"Uncle George!" Rose climbed over the debris. Robert and the others followed.
When they reached George, he was sitting up, grimacing and rubbing his mid-section.
"Uncle George!" Rose dropped to his side. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'll live." George looked up and gazed around at them. "Which one of you stunned me?"
No one spoke. But Robert noticed Albus studying something very interesting around his feet.
The grimace vanished from George's face, replaced by something else. A look that Robert had never, ever seen from him. A look he thought George incapable of.
George Weasley looked absolutely, positively pissed off.
NEXT: CONSEQUENCES
