Everything was the same back in Stars Hollow. The first day was hard, evidently you can't hide anything too long from Miss Patty and Babette, no matter how hard you tried. I spent several days telling them: yes I'm pregnant, and no I don't know who the father is, and no I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. It was kind of exhausting, but also quite relaxing and familiar after the chaotic days I spent in London.
I had made the decision to stay in Stars Hollow, or at least the States, until the birth. All the long flights and changing of time zones were really taking a toll on me. My mom had welcomed me home with open arms and Luke hadn't waited a second before baby proofing the whole house. I felt so safe and happy back home, but there was a problem. Logan hadn't stopped calling since I left. I knew that he wanted to be able to give me space, but he just couldn't do it. It was sort of nice knowing that he missed me, but I had to make a decision.
I spent the days home, at Luke's or at the Inn, writing. I had come a long way on the book, but I was worrying about the ending. Where did I want to end it? It would be philosophical ending it with the pregnancy since it'd be a circular plot, our wouldn't it be enough? Maybe a better ending was yet to come, but it was difficult to just sit around and wait for it. It was a dilemma, but I wrote and planned meanwhile.
A week after my return, I finally woke up with determination. I had made a decision about my future. I was going to call Logan that day and tell him. It had been unfair to make him wait this long already. I sat down on our porch and called him. It was ten o'clock at home so he'd be at work. It rang two tones before he picked up.
"Rory?" He sounded surprised.
"Hi, Logan."
"You called." I felt so bad for him in that moment, I hadn't even thought about how he must be feeling.
"Yes, I'm sorry for waiting so long. But I've come to a decision."
"Before you say anything, Rory. I just want to say that I know what I did was wrong, I put you in a horrible position. But I love you. And I will respect your decision, but I miss you so much and I hope that we can put the past behind us." He took a breath. It had been a rehearsed speech. My heart ached for him.
"Logan. Firstly, I'm going to be living in Stars Hollow until the birth."
"Yes, yes. That's sounds very reasonable." He was really nervous for my next words.
"And… I don't think we should be together at the moment."
"But…"
"No, wait. I don't think we should be together until we can both begin the next phase in our lives. You just got out of a really serious relationship, and I've been a bit lost lately. Before we can be together, I need to finish my book. I have to sort everything out and move on before I can commit to something. I have some stuff to figure out. Does this sound… OK?"
"Yes." He was crying again. How could I even breath when I was hurting someone I loved so much? I knew I was doing the right thing, and that it had taken a lot of work, but it hurt so extremely much. "I understand. I don't agree, but I understand. I miss you, Rory."
"I miss you too. We'll keep in touch, right?"
"I wouldn't want to miss a single thing," he smiled and wiped his tear. "I demand updates."
I laughed a bit. "I won't spare you any details."
"I love you."
"I miss you."
"I'll be waiting for my invitation."
"I'll be writing constantly from now on."
"I hope so. Bye, Ace."
"Bye, Logan."
We hung up. That went surprisingly okay. I knew it'd be hard, but I also knew that it was right. We had to be ready before we could commit. Otherwise it wouldn't end well, and I needed for this to work. Because I loved him. So much. Now I'd just had to write. All day, every day. To finish this book and enter the next phase of my life with the love of my life, and our baby.
