Has Britta reached an All Time Low? ;) enjoy!
"Fucking paparazzi," I mumbled as I finally reached the door of the hotel. They had followed Alex's car here and were having a frenzy taking pictures of me. I already wanted to go back to Arizona, where I wasn't followed and photographed. But in a way it was sort of flattering. At home, I was a wife, mother, and friend. Here I was a celebrity; I was someone's hero or enemy. Here I could be anyone I wanted.
I pulled open the door and stepped inside. The lobby smelled like vanilla candles and a beautiful water fountain sat in the far corner. Alex was at the front desk already, flirting with the receptionist. He looked over at me and smiled. Leaning over the counter, he whispered in the girl's ear and she shook her head. She shot her fingers across the keyboard and handed Alex a small envelope.
"Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work," I rolled my eyes as I stepped up next to Alex at the counter. The girl, whose name tag informed me, was named Amanda, smiled at me. Her lips were stained a deep red and she had a freckled right under the bridge of her nose. She looked oddly familiar. We both exchanged a few glances, but neither of us said anything. I had to remember where I saw her before.
"I'm not planning anything," Alex replied, "I just checked you in, now let's go."
"Hold on a second," I put up my hand. It was all coming back to me. The red lipstick, the golden blonde hair, I'd definitely seen this girl before. "Did you used to work at Fearless Records?" I asked.
Amanda shook her head and I watched as her recognition of me spread across her face. "Yes, wait…you're not. Britta!" She ran from around the other side of the counter and pulled me into a hug. "Gosh, it's been forever!"
"I know," I laughed over her shoulder, "how've you been?" Amanda stepped back and gave me a once over, "I've been fine; forget about me…how've you been? You still with Kennedy?"
The back of my throat began to dry. "No, I'm not." I shook my head. "I'm married."
"You're married, and not to Kennedy?" Amanda asked in astonishment.
"Yeah," I shook my head, "I married Eric Halvorsen. We actually, we have a son."
"You're kidding!" she exclaimed, "Britt, that's awesome."
Amanda and chatted for a bit before Alex's impatience grew past waiting for me. After hugging her once again, I gave her my number and followed Alex down the hallway to the elevator.
"Small world huh?" Alex smirked as the doors of the elevator shut.
"Yeah, I can't believe I saw her here, she used to work at the label I interned at. She was there when I met Kennedy," I explained.
"That's funny," Alex leaned against the elevator wall and stuck his hand in his pocket.
"What's funny?" I asked, watching the numbers raise and the light skip from floor to floor.
"I mean, look where she is, and look where you are. You started off at the same place…"
I thought about what Alex said long after we found the room. It stuck with me. Amanda was in the same position I was, and somehow I got out. It didn't seem fair. What had I done differently? What if Kennedy had fallen in love with her instead of me? Where would I be right now? The whole situation scared me. I didn't want to think about it, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking about it. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about Kennedy. The more I thought about Kennedy, the more I missed him. Missing him was bad, I had to move on or else the dreams would come back. Maybe a few nights away from Eric wasn't helping, but going to hurt. The more time I had to think and miss Kennedy, the better chance I was going to have the nightmares. The thought of not having Eric there when I woke up scared me more than any bad dream.
"Hey you alright?" Alex asked, rubbing my shoulder.
"I'm fine," I replied. I tossed my bag on the bed and kicked off my shoes. "What did you whisper to Amanda when we were down there?"
"Oh nothing," Alex snickered. "See ya neighbor!" Jogging away from the single king sized bed Alex unlocked a door in the hall between the bedroom and the bathroom and pulled it open.
"You did not!" I yelled, "you got us connecting rooms? You suck!"
"Now we can have sleepovers!" Alex giggled.
"No!" I flopped down on the bed. "No sleepovers. No alcohol. I'm here to help you guys record and then I'm flying to Boston."
Alex rolled his eyes; "Eric's got you on a short leash. It's a shame, you deserve better than that. You should be with someone that trusts you."
"Okay, Alex," I huffed as he closed the door. I grabbed the pillow and smashed it into my lap. "Eric doesn't have me on any leash," I whispered, "I don't trust myself. He deserves better."
A few minutes later Alex returned with a freshly opened bottle of water. He took a sip and sat at the end of the bed.
"Alex," I looked at him, then at the counter. "You know those waters cost like four dollars right. And you have to pay just because you opened it."
"Who cares," he shrugged, "I'm not paying for it."
I laughed and sprawled out on the bed. "Gaskarth!" I moaned, "why am I in LA?"
Alex crawled up next to me and patted my hair. "Because you love me and want to help my poor little band with our record." I shook my head, "right right." Alex chuckled, "and you want me…"
"Ugh," I slapped his arm, "I don't want you, bud sorry."
"Well then who do you want?" Alex asked. I didn't know whether he was serious at first. I watched his eyes, but his expression didn't change. He tucked his hands under his head and waited for a response.
"I want Eric, Alex…he's my husband." I pulled my legs up into a tight ball. This bed was incredibly comfortable. The whole room was comfortable. It wasn't too flashy, but not run down either. It reminded me of the hotel we'd stayed at the night before Warped.
"Are you sure?" Alex hesitated before he asked. "What do you mean 'am I sure?'?" I exclaimed, "of course I'm sure, he's my husband."
"Britt, how long have I known you?" Alex ignored my response and continued with his rant of pointless questions.
"A long time Alex," I rolled my eyes, "since The Maine toured with you guys ages ago, that's how long."
"And you'd say we're friends right?" He batted his eyes.
"Yes, Gaskank, we're friends." I replied, not quite getting his point.
"Okay good. We've been friends for a while right and…well, I'm the same Alex, but you're a different Britta," he replied.
"What do you mean?" I wrinkled my brow. I didn't feel like a different Britta. I was still me. Okay, so I was married and a mother, but I'm still me, I didn't change. Did I?
"I mean, the Britta I met was wild and exciting. She laughed and sang and just lived. The Britta I knew was happy. She was never stressed or worried about anything. I miss that girl," Alex explained.
"Alex that was the 18 year old Britta. I was dumb and naïve and I was ignoring the real world. That Britta's not me…"
"That Britta was happy. That Britta was…" Alex cut me off.
"That Britta grew up, that Britta got married and started a career. That Britta had a baby, and bought a house. The old Britta, she had fun, but she's gone."
"You're not listening," Alex shook his head, "I understand you're grown up, Britt. You're 21, you have a baby. But, you're stressed all the time. You're worried about Eric this and Eric that. When do you ever do anything for yourself…?"
"I'm here aren't I?" I exclaimed, "this is for myself."
"And…you're stressing already about getting home on time. You're not having fun."
"Alex, I've been in LA for a half hour…"
"Look, all I'm saying is, you're worried about Eric's trust problems, and stressing over just being here in general. I miss the you that wouldn't care what anyone thought. You, you were so happy…you were in love. With Kennedy."
Kennedy? He was going to bring up Kennedy? Wow, Gaskarth. In a huff I sat up and leaned against the headboard. Alex stood and faced out the window. An awkward silence drifted between us for a few seconds until I finally spoke.
"Do you ever wonder why I have trust problems Alex? It's because of Kennedy! He was my everything, of course I wouldn't think he'd hurt me, but he did. He broke my fucking heart, and yeah, it's kinda hard to trust someone like that again. But I've finally found someone I can trust and I'm in love. I don't understand why you can't just be happy for me."
Alex whipped around and slightly kneeled on the bed, "trust me," he began, "I am happy for you. I just want to see you happy."
"I am happy!" I laughed, "you're not getting it, I've never been happier. I've got so much going on right now, and-and none of it matters because every day I can wake up and say 'hey I'm Mrs. Halvorsen.'"
Alex smiled, "Whatever you say."
"Did Kennedy put you up to this?" I asked, tossing a pillow at Alex.
"No," he shook his head and shoved the pillow back at me, "I just…I talked to someone. Never mind."
"No who!" I hopped off the bed, "who did you talk to?"
"It's not important," Alex started for the door, "let's go. I need a drink."
"Alex," I looked at the stereotypical hotel alarm clock, "it's three thirty…"
After Alex picked up a six pack we headed to the studio to meet up with the guys. When we pulled in Rian was standing outside talking on his phone. I waved but he didn't see me. We hopped out of the car and I ran up behind him. "Boo!" I jumped on his back and he jumped, nearly dropping his phone. "Hold on hon," he said into the receiver. He smiled wide and pulled me into a hug. Over his shoulder I could see into the studio. Jack was running around wearing a bra over his shirt. Whose bra it was, was a mystery to me and most likely Jack.
"Didn't think I see you again anytime soon," Rian said over my shoulder.
"It's been forever huh?" We pulled apart and I waited for Alex to catch up. Rian placed the phone back up to his ear. Alex waved the six pack in front of his face and pointed towards the door. Rian motioned for him to go in, "I'll be in in a sec," he mouthed before we stepped inside.
"Who's got him all love struck?" I asked, once the door was closed.
"Cassadee," Alex rolled his eyes, "whatever that is."
"Cassadee Pope!" I exclaimed, "legit?"
"Legit as shit," Alex replied through barely moving lips.
"I'm sorry this is such a struggle for you," I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
"It's whatever," Alex shrugged, "I really liked Kara, but it's his decision, not mine."
We stepped in the glass studio and a few random faces were scattered across the room. Jack came racing over, still wearing the bra, and grabbed two beers. I searched the room for my favorite muscle boy, but I couldn't find him. "Where's Zack?" I asked.
Alex placed the beer on the table and took a seat. He cracked one open and sighed. "He's with his "girlfriend" back in Maryland. He's flying in sometime next week. Right now we have a temp replacement to work on some rough tracks but…I don't know. If he shows up, he's still in the band."
"Sounds juicy," I sat down across from Alex and grabbed a bottle from the box.
Alex eyed me and soon a small smile swept across his face. "I thought you didn't drink anymore."
"I thought you missed the old Britta," I shot back, popping the top of with the bottle opener on Alex's key chain.
"Touché," Alex winked, "I'm corrupting you already."
I rolled my eyes and took a generous sip. I hated beer. "So tell me about this replacement. Is he good? How'd you meet him?"
"He's not exactly a he…" Alex began.
"GET BACK HERE WITH MY BRA!" A female voice came booming around the corner. Feeling as if my brain shifted from the sudden jolt, I snapped my neck to the other side of the room. Jack took off running and a familiar face came bursting into the room.
"You ass!" They yelled, "I can't believe you went in my bag and took my bra, you're such a…"
I jumped out of my seat as I focused on the girl. The bright green eyes I'd seen so many times stared back at me. Her auburn hair was lighter and crinkled into beach waves. The nose. The lips. The piercing. It was all there.
"Lacey," I whispered.
thanks for reading!! :)
