This is an emotional chapter but I feel like I really failed it, to be honest. I did my research on the earth quake that Damon, Lexi, and their mom was in even though I didn't get way too into it and am probably messing stuff up a little but oh well. wikipedia . org/wiki/ 2002_ Mindanao_earthquake Or you can google 2002 Mindanao earthquake. Sorry I couldn't do this chapter much justice! Also, is there any particular direction you would like to see this headed in for the next few chapters? I really would love your input on this (because I seriously need to figure out what I'm going to do now lololol). So please, please, please review! The more reviews I get, the earlier I'll update.


Elena wasn't sure how she ended up there but she had somehow landed in front of her mother's grave. When her parents had first died, Elena was often found near their burial ground—it was a way to help her cope. But it faded away and she didn't visit as often after a while (which was a good idea, according to Aunt Jenna, because if it got any worse she would have signed Elena up for counseling). Over the years, she found that she visited her parents during times of hardships or distress. She would come and ask them for advice despite their lack of response. She just felt better about everything and felt as if they were really listening. It usually helped too, because she could figure out what her mother and father would say and that would help her decide. Although it was helpful for Elena to come visit her parents' graves, it was incredibly painful. Not only did it mean that she had to remind herself of the fact that they were gone forever, but that her life wasn't exactly going in the direction she had hoped it would be going in.

She felt a little pathetic for going to her mother's grave just because she had boy problems but to be honest, Elena never really had the chance to talk about boys with her while she was alive. She never had any issues. Elena was a popular girl and all they really had to talk about was sex and being safe. That was pretty awkward. And even when she did have small problems, she didn't talk to her mom about it. Bonnie and Caroline were always there. It was a teen thing—perfectly normal. But Elena wished she could change it so she had a chance to talk to her mother more.

What's done is done.

Elena clutched her jacket tighter around her slim body before setting a bouquet of flowers down on the ground in front of Miranda Gilbert's tombstone. "Hey, Mom." She spoke casually. "I know… Long time no see. I have a lot to fill you in on. See… I kind of came here for help. With boys. Well, a boy, actually." She paused, wondering how to phrase this. It felt as if Miranda was standing right there in front of her looking impatient.

"Well, Elena, spit it out!" She could almost hear her say.

"Mom… You don't even realize how hard it is without you here, okay? Caroline says she doesn't talk to her mom much about boys but she talks to her dad about them… But I guess it's sort of the same thing. But it's just so hard… Knowing that you're not here to listen to me rant or give me advice… It's so hard knowing Dad's not here with the shotgun." She stifled a laugh, her eyes watering a bit. "I wish…" She began regretfully, "That I had been different when you were alive. I wish that I had been closer to you. I wish I could have had all those experiences before you died. I remember people told me that our relationship would only get better as I got older. That when I was older, you would seem more like a best friend than a restricting mother." She smiled a little bit. "But I never got to experience that. I feel like a whole part of my life is missing and I can't do anything to bring it back. And I'm sorry for everything that I couldn't do for you." A stray tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'm always here, Elena. Always." She knew that's what she would say. And in a way, she was right. Even though she was gone, she was still there.

"I.. Stefan cheated on me… Again… But this time I knew before I actually saw him with her… And I tried to get him back by cheating on him with someone he used to be close with…" Elena started. "But I ended up developing feelings for him. The guy I was sleeping with—who by the way is my history professor—I know, Mom, pretty fucked up." She laughed. "Mom, I care about him a lot… And I know I don't just like him for the sex—even though that's really great—awkward, moving on… I just… I've hurt him so many times now and I just don't know what to do any more."

Elena pursed her lips together and stared at the flowers on the ground. "I'm scared that he won't want anything to do with me after everything that I've done. He's been nothing but good to me. Just… Tell me what I should do, Mom, because I don't know."

"Well, you could start by actually telling me all of that yourself." Elena heard a familiar voice behind her. She jumped, gasping and turning around to realize that it was none other than Damon standing there. How long had he been there for?

"Damon?" She could feel the blush creeping onto her cheeks. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It didn't really matter how much of it he heard because he had obviously heard enough.

"Hey." He grinned at her.

"I…" I don't know what to say. Elena stared at him, still at shock. How could he be here right now? Why did she have the most rotten luck on the planet?

"So you do care about me?" He pressed.

"Of course, I do."

"You must be really good at hiding it because I felt like you were feeling the exact opposite." He smirked.

"You don't know what I feel." Elena snapped, suddenly feeling very angry at his cockiness.

"And you don't know what I feel." Damon replied then on a more serious note.

"And what's that?" Elena asked.

"That you're so different from anyone I have ever met. I care about you more than you can imagine, Elena. I feel like… I can forgive myself and be happy when I'm around you. I feel like you're my savior. Like when I'm with you, nothing else in the world matters."

Elena was shocked by his confession—not the unpleasant kind of shock though. She actually felt a leap in her stomach and there was a silly smile on her face as she stared at him.

"What?" Damon asked, arching a brow.

"I just… I didn't know you felt that way…" Elena admitted.

"Well, that's why I told you, right?" He shrugged.

"What are you doing here?" Elena finally asked as the awkwardness began to creep in.

He seemed to stiffen up but he still answered. "I came to see my mom and sister." He held up flowers before picking a rose out of one of the bouquets and handed it to her.

"Thank you.." Elena smiled, taking it and automatically taking in the delicious scent.

He nodded and began to walk towards a different grave. Elena wasn't sure if she should follow him at first. He probably did want some privacy so she stayed at her spot until he looked over at her expectantly.

"Sorry… I wanted to give you privacy." She said, walking over.

Damon shook his head. "No, it's alright. It's probably a better idea to have someone here with me." He assured her. It was a better idea to have her with him. Whenever he came by to visit his mother and sister, his nights usually ended pretty nasty. He ended up going through nearly the same thing he went through the night they died. It meant heavy drinking and very depressing thoughts. Elena seemed to really lift him from that so maybe she would make a difference by just standing there.

He was surprised when she reached over and took his hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. "What happened?" She asked lightly.

Seeing the pain in his eyes made her regret asking that question at all. Maybe this was too soon. She didn't want him to tell her anything he didn't want to. But she knew letting it out helped—it helped her (even if her parents' deaths still haunted her today). She was just about to tell him that he didn't have to talk about it when he began to speak.

"It was nine years ago… And I was twenty one … Still very young and naïve." He started. "We were in the Philippines—Mindanao. My father was on a business trip and decided to take us all with him. It was Lexi's thirteenth birthday that day. And this place, Elena, it was so beautiful. She was so happy. It didn't even matter that our father wasn't really around. But then… That day, that earth quake hit. It was terrible. The death count was roughly fifteen which doesn't seem like a lot—but it was still people… It was still them. I tried to save them, Elena but I couldn't get to them in time. My mom saved Lexi and I and got killed—only Lexi still got crushed. I watched her die in front of me, Elena. I tried getting her out but there was nothing I could do—no one was coming. Not until it was too late anyway." Damon finished quietly, looking down at his feet.

"Damon, oh my god!" Elena gasped, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. At first he was non-responsive but slowly, she felt his arms snake around her waist and pull her tighter against him. "I'm so sorry." Elena murmured against his chest before pulling away. "You don't blame yourself do you?" She asked suspiciously.

Damon only stared at her, unable to reply.

"You can't blame yourself for something like that. It wasn't your fault. I understand how hard that must have been but you can't keep blaming yourself." She reached up and stroked her cheek.

"It was a lot easier to forget when you were around." He admitted with a whisper, closing his eyes.

"I'm not leaving you," She replied softly.

He opened his crystal blue eyes and Elena stared deep into them—getting lost. She could see the sorrow in there (something she had noticed even before now), she could see other things too, though. Like passion, and was there relief? "I'm sorry for everything that I have done." Elena whispered. "God! I probably made everything worse." She groaned, slapping her forehead.

Damon chuckled, shaking his head at her. "Shh." He said before leaning down and pressing his lips to hers. "It's okay." He murmured against her lips. "I was kind of a dick."

"Kind of?" Elena teased before kissing him back and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Now are you going to tell me what you were doing here?" He asked, arching a brow and pulling away.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you could tell." Elena smiled weakly.

Damon nodded. "Getting boy help from your dead mother." He smirked.

Elena frowned. "That wasn't funny."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." He apologized earnestly.

She broke out into a grin. "I was kidding! But yeah, that's exactly what I was doing."

She knew what he wanted to hear from her and she could tell he didn't want to ask. He didn't want to pry.

"My parents… They both died in a car accident when I was sixteen. Six years ago." She explained. "See, Damon, I know exactly how you feel when you blame yourself. My parents they died because I was careless and selfish." He furrowed his brow at her, but not speaking, just waiting for her to continue.

"I was out partying that night. And I got drunk. Really drunk. I called them and asked them to pick me up and they came, of course. But they were so disappointed in me. They were so angry, Damon. And… We ran into this car… Then fell off of a bridge. They died but I survived."

His eyes widened and suddenly, they were both embracing each other again. "I'm so sorry." He whispered into her hair.

"But I don't blame myself for it anymore. Because they wouldn't want me to feel that way. They would want me to be happy." She told him, leaning away to look into his eyes.

"I'm pretty sure your sister and mother would want the same for you."

He smiled lightly.

"Thank you, Elena." He told her.

She replied by kissing his lips.