Down down down we go….though oddly, going up, by the end of this chapter
Kratos sat wordlessly, staring out at the dark rivers of Waterfall. Sans sat next to him, eying the young man. The hybrid had barely told him anything, simply coming to find him and then asking if he could spend time with him. Sans casually drank from a bottle of ketchup, and that seemed to break the ice, oddly enough.
"Remember that one time you were teaching me to dodge?" Kratos said, not looking at him. "So you just pelted me with tomatoes?"
"Er, yeah," Sans chuckled slightly. "You weren't very good at it."
"I hate tomatoes now. I can't stand looking at them."
"So should I put the ketchup away?"
Kratos sighed, finally looking at the skeleton.
"Sans- I need to know-…did you used to be human?"
"Woah, kiddo, what kind of question is that? Where did that come from? I mean I know you're going through a lot but-"
"You told me you could see my sins. So you still see them, don't you? So you know what happened, don't you? Do you remember everything you told me or just…?"
Sans sighed, chugging the ketchup.
"You told me about resets, you know about them, right? So…"
"Kid I don't know-"
"I'm not stupid, Sans!" Kratos snapped, glaring at him. "You said you were human, the times match up, I remember how you'd look at mom-"
He cut off, his voice choking up. Sans looked at him but Kratos couldn't meet his eyes, his shoulders shaking.
"Please- I need to know, I- Asriel and Chara- humans- I just-" the russet eyes began to swell with tears, which he shut tightly. "I need to know if you hate me."
Sans frowned.
"What? Kid-"
"You know what I did! I know you do! And even before that- if you were, why didn't you say anything?! Why didn't you- why didn't you come back to Mom, why didn't-?"
He broke down into trembling sobs, bringing his paws up to grip at his head. Sans hesitated, the bags under his eyes seeming to deepen. The skeleton put away his bottle, gently putting a bony hand on Kratos' shoulder. Kratos didn't respond at first, so Sans settled for waiting for him to cry it out.
"…I don't hate you, kid."
Kratos didn't respond.
"Look, your mom- by the time I worked up the courage she had married Asgore. She was happy, you were happy, I didn't want to-….what was I supposed to say? 'Hey, Tori, I died a bit but I'm back now! Yeah I'm just bones but you had cremated me so, y'know'-"
"She cremated you?" Kratos interrupted, looking up at him.
"…Yeah, kid, that's why I'm…y'know, bones?" Sans sighed.
The skeleton lifted up his shirt, revealing his ribcage. It wasn't pretty, the bones were scarred, knit in several places, and very, very badly burnt. Kratos stared and Sans chuckled weakly, putting his shirt back down.
"I can't really explain how I'm a 'monster' now, it's complicated. Look-…is this really what you want to talk about it right now? I know you want to know, and I guess I owe you answers. Still-…what happened is what's really bothering you right now, right?"
"…I-"
"Kratos!"
The pair looked up to see a slightly winded and flustered Sydna racing down the path at them, in full armor.
"Captain Sydna?" Kratos frowned. "What-?"
"Oh thank God I found you before- look, Kratos, you need to come with me. Right now-"
"Woah woah, cap, what's going on?" Sans asked, getting to his feet.
"I need to escort Kratos back to his mother. Sans, I don't have time for this."
"What's going on?" Kratos asked, now on his feet too. "Where's Mom? What's happening?"
"Listen, you need to come with me- the king- he-…he declared war on humans. He decreed any humans found in the underground must be killed on spot."
Sans' eyesockets went blank and Kratos stared, his face pale.
"W- what? No- he wouldn't- why?!"
"I know it shocking but we don't have time." Sydna snapped, grabbing Kratos' arm. "I need to get you to your mother somewhere safe-"
Kratos' eyes widened and Sydna swore loudly. The captain had been lifted off her feet, her soul now blue and several strange skulls were poised at her, glowing balls of energy in their open mouths.
"What the f-?!"
"Sans?! What are you doing?!"
The small skeleton had a hand outstretched toward the fish-woman, his left eye glowing bright blue.
"Sorry, Syd, but how exactly do we know you ain't gonna hand him over to Asgore yourself, huh?"
"What?! Are you kidding me?!" Sydna snarled, attempting to break free of his magic. "Look, I told Tori I'd protect her kids, I've already failed with two of'em, I'm not going to fail again!"
"Sans! Put her down!" Kratos grabbed his arm. "I know her, she won't hurt me, I trust her!"
Sans eyed him a moment, then dropped Sydna back onto her feet. The woman quickly recovered, pulling Kratos along by his arm.
"We need to go. NOW."
"Where are we even going to go?! Where's Mother?!"
"I'll take you to her. Sans? I know you're going to follow anyway just stay out of sight unless we need you."
Sans was already gone. At least, he appeared to be. Kratos stared at the spot he had just been, then was pulled along by his friend's mother.
In a blur of winding tunnels Sydna led him out of Waterfall, into the snowy area of the underground on the outskirts of their small 'world'. In the snowy woods he was brought to his mother, who threw her arms around him the instant she saw him.
"Kratos! Oh thank goodness, you are not hurt! Quickly, come with me, we have to leave."
"Mother-"
"Not now." Toriel cut him off, dragging him off by the arm. "We will talk once it is safe."
Kratos cast one last glance back at Sydna, who said nothing, watching them disappear into the dark sylvan. He thought he saw a brief flash of blue, then nothing.
As far as he had known, they hadn't been underground long enough for this area to have been built and abandoned. So it was shocking, to say the least, when his mother showed him the ruins. 'Old Home', it was called. Apparently, this had been the capital when he had been young, it was this city they had lived in when his mother had met Asgore. They had moved it shortly after its creation, as apparently there had been concerns that humans would come down and attack them. Fearing this, the capital had moved to the city where he had grown up, where Asriel had been born, where Asriel and Chara had died…
He didn't recall this place at all; aside from some froggits and the occasional whimsum, the entire place was abandoned. It would be safe here, his mother had told him. No monsters from the outside would venture in here, none would come for him. It may have been 'safe', but it was by no means a happy place here.
Toriel had snatched Chara's body away, burying it in a distant corner of the ruins, a spot where the sun broke through a hole in their dark tomb. She had wanted her to sleep under the stars, his mother said.
It was a miserable existence. They lived, yes, and Sydna as well as several other monsters Toriel trusted smuggled supplies and the like to them, little by little. They had made a home for themselves here, but…it was an empty life. Toriel wept when she thought he was not around, and when she wasn't weeping she listed about their small new 'home', busying herself with tidying and the like. They had not spoken to each other much, he didn't know how to bring anything up to her, or what to say. She did not try and start conversations with him either. They both wallowed in misery together, avoiding each other as much as they hovered around each other.
He didn't know how long it had been, days, weeks, before they had their first real conversation. They were sitting at the table, quietly eating. He glanced up and met his mother's eyes, red irises meeting red irises, just a second. Kratos quickly tore his gaze away, and not an instant later he heard his mother choke down a sob.
The young man twitched, looking back at her. She never cried in front of him, if she could help it…
"I- I am sorry, my child- I-" she covered her mouth with her paws, tears welling up. "I am so sorry, this is all my fault! I could not help Chara, I could not protect Asriel, I could not protect you! I was so foolish!"
She slumped, covering her face with her paws as her shoulders shook with the weight of her sobs.
"I thought Asgore was kind, I never thought he would do something so hateful and stupid!" she shook her head. "I was a fool not to see it. You and Chara, I thought- I thought-"
"Mother…" Kratos said quietly, slowly reaching a paw out to her.
Toriel sprung from her chair, scooping Kratos up and hugging him tightly to her, sobbing.
"I could not protect your brother and sister, I could not protect your father, I could not give you a life you deserved! Oh Kratos, my sweet, dear child, my child…I am so sorry…so sorry…"
Kratos said nothing, returning her hug and closing his eyes. Would she still love him, he wondered? If she remembered what he had done, would she hate him? Asgore had declared war on humans, had he not done the same thing? When he had slaughtered that village, when he had decreed he would wipe them all out? But he would never tell her, he could never tell her, it would just upset her meaninglessly, he would bear the burden, bear his sins, his guilt, so she wouldn't have to know of it. She had enough problems.
There was one thing he could tell her, though, one thing he would deserve hatred for.
"Mother…I can go through." He muttered.
Toriel hushed a bit.
"What?" she pulled back from him a bit, staring down at him.
"I can go through. The barrier." He said, not meeting her eyes. "After Asriel- I went to the barrier, I was mad, I tried to hit it and I went through. I can go through, I could have gone after him, I could have protected him. Mother, I'm so sorry, I could have protected-"
He choked, he didn't realize he had been crying.
"I could have protected him, and I could go through. I could go through right now, I could get the souls and-"
"No."
She pulled him tight again.
"No, my son, no. This is not your burden to bear, you have no responsibility in any of this, you have no obligation to do such a horrible thing for a kingdom that would kill you."
"But I could."
"No." she repeated more firmly. "You would only make more sadness, you would only make more suffering. No, my child, do not soil your soul with such sin…"
He closed his eyes, trembling. He already had. Even if he confessed, would she even believe him? No, he couldn't put her through that, even if she did believe him.
"But…you can leave? Truly, my child? You can pass through?"
He pulled from her this time, looking up at her. He met his mother's eyes- his eyes, he realized- and nodded slowly.
"I can."
She stared at him, her shoulders shaking, her fur damp with tears. Her eyes began to well up again and she took a deep breathe, looking away.
"Then you should go."
He felt as if he had been slammed in the chest with a blunt object. His eyes widened and he choked out a response.
"What? I- you want me to leave? Mother…?"
"I do not want you to leave, of course I do not, I want you with me always," she smiled weakly, tears slipping afresh from her eyes. "But I want you to be safe, I want you to be happy, I want you to live, I want you to be free. Down here…down here you are trapped, even outside the ruins. If you can go to the surface, if you can find your own way, your own life, if you can find new experiences and friends and-…then I want you to go, Kratos. I want you to live."
He shook his head, trembling.
"But what about you? Mother I don't want you to be alone."
"And I do not want you to be miserable. There is nothing left here for you but despair and danger, loss and betrayal."
She bent her knees, crouching down more to his height so she could look him in the eyes.
"I want you to find happiness. Use the gift you have, my child, use it and go live your life."
He clung to her, his tears wetting the fabric of her gown.
"I will be fine, my child," she whispered softly to him, her paw stroking his hair. "You can visit me whenever you wish, I will always be here for you."
So it was not a few days later, he stood in the patch of sunlight where Chara had been put to rest. He looked up at the hole in the rock, at the patches of sky, his throat tight. A pack of supplies his mother had put together sat on his back, and he bore the tear stains of his mother on his shoulder. His eyes were red from tears as well, but he was determined to carry this through. His mother was right, there was no future for him here. Perhaps there was on the surface, perhaps even there was a way to free his mother, if he could find it…
He took a deep breathe, gathering his courage as he scanned the walls for a path to climb up and out. Locating a passable route, he headed for the wall of the cavern.
"You're not coming back this time, are ya?"
Kratos twitched, freezing in mid-step. He turned, staring at the skeleton that stood behind him in the dappled sunlight. Sans looked even more tired than usual, his posture hunched, his eyes downcast.
"…I will, someday." Kratos replied limply.
"Ah, well…okay. I got something for ya, just be careful, okay?"
Kratos blinked and Sans tossed a chunk of metal at him, the young man quickly catching it on reflex.
"What is this?" he blinked, staring at it.
It looked like a beam of metal, nothing special, or functional, even.
"Made it for ya, just need you to do the finishing touch." Sans chuckled softly. "Channel your magic into it, should make it more interesting."
Kratos hesitated but did as he was told. For a moment, nothing happened, then suddenly the bar began to glow bright red, morphing shape as if it was being molded by an unseen potter. Kratos' eyes widened as the metal forged itself into a sword of glowing red and gold, pulsating with fire magic, even the blade's shape was reminiscent of a flame.
"Adapts to your magic," Sans scratched his 'chin' lazily. "Should be useful. So…take care, okay, kid?"
Kratos stared at the blade, then at Sans. He crossed the distance between them in a second, throwing his arms around the small skeleton. Sans tensed but then relaxed, patting his back.
"Be careful, kid."
Kratos said nothing, but nodded.
When the half-breed pulled back, Sans was gone. Kratos was left alone in the cavern, the fire-sword still in his paw. He took a deep breath to calm himself, then went about securing the blade to his side with a bit of rope. He'd have to find or make a better sheath, in time. With one last look to the way he had come, to the doorway that lead to the entire world he had known, he finally began his ascent. To the barrier, to the surface, to the future.
