Xin swore, jerking the controls in a frenzied attempt to avoid the sudden bursts of searing energy scourging the void around us. The hairs on my neck stood on end from the sensation of power, pure and unbridled energy, screeching about the empty space around us. My own attentions, however, were far more focused upon our boarder.

He was a tall man, dark skinned and possessed of a serpentine arrogance etched in to those features which still remained. A grotesque mass of scars criss crossed the right side of his face, the still weeping pucker of a gored eyeball seeping milky white pus across torn meat. Ragged red links of what had once been chain-mail of a Jaffa – though to call the melted and battered iron husk armor seemed overly congratulatory. He looked up at me, hissing in surprise and confusion as he realized where he was.

I hardly had time to recognize throbbing sensation of being around a another of the old gods before Xin gasped in horror, "Apophis!"

"Who are you to speak to the name of the great god Apophis as an equal?" reverberated the angry deity, glowering at me with his weeping sore of an eye-socket.

He spoke in third person – just great. Creatures which insisted upon referring to themselves in the third person were always a pain to deal with for their egos if nothing else. Well, if all else fails I fund that a well placed bit of snark went a long way to deflating the egos of a supernatural nasty, "Oh me? I'm the god of magic and this is my Tok'ra arch nemesis. We're currently plummeting through a minefield of almost certain death on a craft that will last five minutes at most."

"Three," Xin corrected me, weaving the ship's controls up and to the left.

"Three," I repeated. "Now you can be a nice little godling and not get in our way so that we can survive this mess or start a ruckus and possibly get us all killed in the process. Your choice."

"I will not be spoken to in that manner by anyone," Snarled Apophis, his good eye flashing in fury.

"Then it pleases me to be the first," I sighed, "You're actually going to start a fight on a crashing ship aren't you?"

"Bow before me!"The god bellowed in fury, flexing his wrist to draw a concealed blade as he charged. I dove from my chair, astonished by the speed with which the god had crossed the ship. Sparks flashed across the cockpit as he swung down, slicing across my enchanted duster. His eye widened in shock as the edge of his blade bludgeoned my side rather than goring me, giving me time to pop him one across the jaw with the butt of my staff.

His head whipped back from the force of my newly enhanced strength, spitting a couple teeth as he eyed the Zat'nik'tel on the floor. It had fallen from my duster as I'd rolled, skittering to a point between us. I flipped my staff, pointing the flowering bud towards his chest. "Don't even think about it."

"You gain nothing by killing me," The man growled. "Join me and there will be rich rewards for you in the new order to come."

"I have you at gunpoint and you're telling meto surrender?" I laughed at the absurdity of it.

"Sokar is no more," Apophis hissed in sibilant baritone. "My serpent guard are spread across his entire fleet. Even as we speak they are seizing his ships for my ascension. My victory is assured."

Lash snorted in a distinctly non-angelic sound of disgust. "Do not trust this one, my dear host, Apophis was ever the god of lies and betrayal. Within the pantheon of usurpers he is nearly as treacherous as Sokar or Anubis – though not as brutal."

Colluding with Apophis was not high up on her to do list. For once I agreed.

"Generous," I jibed sarcastically, "But I have a counter offer."

I continued, cutting him off before he could even speak, "No – no, I'm the armed space god here. You willnot cut into my threatening monologue," I smiled as the god's eye's flashed in fury, " Like I said. I have an alternate deal. I kick your ass six ways from Sunday, cut off your head and ride off into the sunset as though we've never met."

"You cannot command the Serpent guard without me," Hissed Apophis. "They only pretend at loyalty to my usurper – they long for their true god and the time of his rebirth and ascendancy. I will restore the time of Apep, the glory before Anubis' betrayal. Do you not desire our return to glory?"

"What? Join me an we will rule the galaxy as Wizard and snake? Read my lips Appy-may. " I thumbed the activator to the staff's blast function, preparing to dispatch the god. "I. Don't. Care. Let them do whatever they want. Me? I'm going to take my football and go home because I'm not playing any more. Go rip it out from a different blockhead because this one isn't kicking to day Lucy."

My peanuts themed riff cut off when a bolt of superheated plasma collided with the cargo ship, busting against the craft's hull and briefly overloading the ship's internal gravity. My knees buckled the internal gravity adjusted by ninety degrees, heaving me against the wall. I fired a burst of flame from my staff, missing Apophis as we sped through the air towards the wall.

Apophis yelped in shock as a ball of blue white fire seared the bulkhead, hot enough to cause rivulets of metal to spatter outward. I could see bone where a bit of the metal collided with his already mangled face. He howled in inhuman fury, cursing me in a sibilant language neither Lash nor I recognized.

Loosing track of what is up and down is not a totally new thing for me. There are parts of the Nevernever that will take reality and toss it totally akimbo, but even for me it's not normal to suddenly find that up is down. When gravity fails me, I find that it's useful to just tuck into a ball and raise my shields. I held my staff out, centering my magic to provide a cushion of air within my protective bubble to dull the eventual impact.

Apophis grabbed the s-bend of metal skidding across the floor, ducking into a kneeling crouch as he sent bolts of lightning across the small room. The gravity shifted back, crashing me against the floor within my bubble of protective energy. Lightning rolled across my protective dome of energy, skirting across the cockpit and hitting the command console in a shower of sparks.

Xin swore, beating at small fire starting in the ship's flight control computers. He pulled a canister of something from beneath his chair, spraying it at the fire in an effort to beat back the blaze. Crystals burst in small pockets of crystalline shards, tossing shrapnel across the room. I felt the razor sharp bits pinging across my coat – smiling as they sliced the exposed bits of Apophis' flesh. The charging god swung at me with his blade, bringing the black metal down on my translucent dome of protective energy.

To my amazement the blade sliced through my protective magics, crushing the spells as though they weren't there at all. My magics had been supercharged since melding with Heka, more powerful than I ever remembered them but it rendered them inert .The shimmering edge of the blade whispered with a slight hum of enchantments as it whisked past my face, sparking against the haft of my staff.

I kicked him, using my magic to put a little extra oomph behind it as I connected boot to groin. The god's eyes bulged as I used the momentum of that to poke my staff in his chest and yell, "Forzare."

The befuddled god slid across the floor, somehow managing to keep his footing. He spat blood upon the ground, green light shimmering across his blade. His chest puckered inward at an odd angle, exposed bits of rib about his sternum poking through his chest. His eyes flashed in curious malevolence, disturbingly calm about my own use of magic and his own injuries.

"Hell's bells - Where did you get that?" I recognized the power in the blade. I'd seen it – or rather something similar to it – only weeks ago. White Council Wardens carried silver blades enchanted to allow them to channel magic through them, powerful weapons I'd previously believed to be the exclusive purview of the White Council.

"Apophis is without a Hok'tar but not without knowledge. Each of the great system Lords hordes a portion of what once was." Apophis sneered, his hand tightening around the Zat in predatory anticipation as he circled to my right. The ship bucked again – shrill klaxon screeching that the ship's shields had failed. "We believed Asgaurd menace had stolen the last viable bloodline in our final war. How did you find one that survived their purges?"

"Magic," I replied mockingly.

"Another rival who fancies himself amusing," Apophis smiled as the ship's computer screeched a warning about imminent something or other. "When you get to the next life do me a favor – inform the fates that I am not amused by you or Colonel O'Neill"

"Tell them yourself," I barked, catching Xin's frenzied attempts to beat back the fires out of my peripheral vision. "Looks like we're going down together."

"No, we are not." The god grinned with malicious glee.

"Enslaver!" Xin looked back at Apophis in horror, "Do not allow him to move or we will die here!"

Apophis leapt backwards, stepping into an alcove that closed around him like an iron casket before dropping down with a hiss of pressurized air. A freaking escape pod, he'd taken the freaking escape pod.

Hang on a second, "We have escape pods?"

"No." The Tok'ra growled. "We had one escape pod .I was using it's internal transponder to transmit a phony friend or foe signal to distract the defense grid away from targeting us directly."

"And now that it's gone." I swallowed, suspecting his answer.

"The guns will have no reason to target the pod heading for the surface and every reason to target us." He looked at the burning computer interface. "Perhaps if I can re-route power to the cloak."

He reached for a black box, pulling his hand away when the flesh sizzled like a strip of fresh bacon on the stove, too hot to touch.

"No!" Screeched Xin. "Not now!"

"Xin! We have to get out of here," I grabbed the Tok'ra dragging him back towards the teleporter.

He struggled against me, his scorched fingers still reaching towards the blazing computers. "No! If we can't get the main control systems working we can't activate the ring transporters. I don't have a mobile command module."

"A what?" I dragged him back, hitting the door to the cargo hold as a burst of energy tore the cockpit from the ship entirely.

"A wrist mounted command computer for Sokar's ships." Xin looked down at my arm, and back up at me in disgust. "That you mule headed boor."

"My watch?" I held it up.

"How are you still alive?" Xin tapped the runes on it with his wounded fingers, "How do you even dress yourself?"

"Less complaining – more teleporting us off the on-fire ship," I replied – highly irritated that I had not in fact been able to clothe myself that day without Amun's assistance. I have enough trouble tying a necktie, let alone fiddling with the complex ceremonial garb of an interplanetary deity. It wasn't my fault that there were a lot of buttons in strange places and confusing knots.

Stupid space gods and their Buck-Rogers-esquely annoying sense of fashion.

"What is your password?" Xin twisted the runes with an errant flick of his fingers.

"Password?" I replied.

"Yes, the password." Xin hissed in exasperation.

"What password?"

"What do you mean what password?" Xin howled. "The password for your wrist device. The command password that is capable of saving us from a fiery demise. The only thing keeping us alive!"

"Oh, that password. Of course that password – It is … uh," I paused in confusion, "I don't know the password."

"How do you not know your own password. Everyone knows their own password! No-one forgets the password to their emergency teleportation code," Xin's face turned an interesting shade of purple. "It's one of those things like 'how to breathe.' You don't freaking forget them if you're planning on living through the day."

"I'm not everyone else!" I sighed. "Bob, any help?"

"I am a mystical spirit of knowledge – not tech support!" Bob protested in mock irritation.

"Not the time for it Bob! You were the one who helped me set this thing up in the first place." I yelled at the skull. "What is the password?"

"The password is 'password 1' be sure to use all lowercase letters." Bob replied in mocking parody, "Thank you and please call again."

"You're insane." Xin muttered as he typed the code into the device in apparent disbelief that it functioned, "You're going to die and take me with you on your way."

"I like the company," I smiled as the metal rings rose around us, bathing us in white light.

I felt the warping sense of being compressed through space at time as the light carried us down to the surface of Delmak – to a familiar room of marble pillars and greenery. The personal palace of Heka – my palace. The wrist device must have been programmed to seek out safe harbor rather than the closest possible teleportation point. "Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

"My lord Warden," A thrilled woman's voice echoed across the chamber. The buxom priestess Muminah rushed before me, falling to her knees and kissing the ground before me. "I told them one as great as you could not be felled, even by the smiting of Netu itself."

"Get up," I sighed, grabbing her by the crook of the arm and helping her to stand. "We talked about this. No more bowing – we don't bow."

"Yes my lord Warden," Muminah still averted her eyes from my own, staring determinedly at my chin. "As my lord commands."

"Requests, Muminah – not commands." I sighed in exasperation. "I keep telling you that I am not a god."

Xin looked at me as though I'd grown an additional head. "What?"

"I am not a god." I repeated.

"Of course you aren't." Xin replied in confused reverberation. "I know that. Its the core belief my entire people. But nobody just shouts that to a room full of servants in Goa'uld territory – least of all a Goa'uld Lord."

"I've never been especially good at following the rules," I shrugged, following Muminah down the stairs from the teleporation platform to where Ul'tak stood with the elder Jaffa.

"My lord Warden." Ul'tak saluted me in the traditional way of the Jaffa, slapping his fist across his chest. "I bear grim tidings. Does my lord wish to discuss them in private..."

He left the word hanging, a carefully unspoken question of Xin's loyalty and reliability. The Jaffa would never outright question one of the gods in front of his lord, but he wasn't stupid. The old gods were treacherous. I waved my hand idly, "Ignore Xin. He's just a Tok'ra met earlier today."

I'm not sure who looked more alarmed by that proclamation, Xin or my Jaffa. Ul'tak sputtered, caught between befuddlement and revulsion, "It is Tok'ra?"

"Yes, but he's friendly. He's here with my permission for the moment. Perfectly harmless." I looked at Xin. "Isn't that right Xin?"

"Yes," Xin observed the hate filled gazes of the assembled Jaffa with mingled fear and confusion. "Positively friendly even."

"Good," I handed Bob over to Muminah, relieved to not be hefting the additional weight. He hummed contentedly as the priestess cradled him upon her bosom. Ignoring his mutter of "best case ever" I approached the holographic table. "Give me the low down."

"There are limits to my patience host," Lash hissed in irritation. "I cannot translate everything with ease."

"Groovy, you keep that totally tubular translation going hoochie mama." I replied in intentional recalcitrance.

"I can still hurt you my host," Lash sighed in amused exasperation.

"Whom are you speaking with my lord Warden?" Ul'tak asked, staring at the blank bit of wall I was addressing.

"Don't worry about it." I sighed, "Just tell me what's happening."

"After Sokar's flagship was destroyed with you aboard all the Goa'uld started battling for control of the planet." Ul'tak pointed to a huge crater on the planet's southern pole. "The worst of the debris struck the farmlands, causing earthquakes and volcanic activity round the globe. What of Delmak is not embroiled in battle is already consumed by fire."

"How quickly can we everyone off world?" I sighed. "I assume we have enough space for everyone on the flagship."

"Sure we do.," Cackled the ancient Jaffa. "But we're not going anywhere. Least not so long as the Necropolis Guard control the palace."

"They won't believe him to be dead," Xin muttered in agreement, "Sokar picks – picked - his soldiers purely based upon their loyalty and fondness for cruelty. They'll need to be slain or subdued before anyone can take control of Sokar's holdings. We have to assume the defense grid will shoot down anyone trying to get off world."

"Can't we just go through that ring thing – uh – the Chappa'ai?" I looked at my generals. "That would save us going through the grid."

"And force us to go right into the heart of Sokar's citadel, at the lowest point past several thousand Necropolis guardsmen." Xin shook his head. "Even if we had the clearance – which we don't, you'd have to assume that by the time we reach it the Necropolis guard will know that you survived the assault and come to the obvious conclusion."

"Oh crap," I ran my fingers over the stubble covering my scalp, "They're going to think that I'm the one who killed Sokar."

"There aren't many who could get close enough to Sokar to pull it off," Xin agreed. "Coincidentally did you?"

"Did I blow up the moon?" I stared at Xin. "We barely escaped that alive? Do you think that I'm crazy enough to blow up a planet while I'm still in the blast radius?"

Xin raised an eyebrow, "You're shouting that you're not a god in a room full of Jaffa before claiming a Tok'ra as an ally and set your millitary override password to 'password."

"Oh shut up," I growled, as much to the giggling angel in my head as to the Tok'ra.

"It is safe to assume that we have only a short window of opportunity before the perimeter guns are turned upon us." Ul'tak interjected. "I can lead a cadre of my men to take the nearest barracks – if it is destroyed the connection to the defense network ought to be disrupted long enough for us to safely depart."

Xin nodded, "I have a virus in mind that could do the job if you get close enough. It would take only moments to encode it upon a crystal."

"Fine. Give him what he needs," I nodded. "And get me my armor."

"My lord?" The Jaffa looked up at me in confusion, turning to the other generals as though unsure if he'd heard me speak properly.

"What? You thought I was going to sit this one out?" I waved my hand at the human servants peeking out from behind pillars and doors to catch a glimpse of me. "Just sit back with these people and let someone else do my dirty work for me?"

"It is the custom of the enslavers," Xin interjected sarcastically.

"Enslaver this – enslaver that," I rolled my eyes. "Just call me Mr. Evil and be done with it already."

"You are altogether too similar to another acquaintance of mine." Xin sighed. "He also is mistakenly convinced of his comedic savvy."

"You wound me Xin," I put my hand over my heart in mock pain. "How ever shall I continue?"

"Insane," Xin muttered, taking the crystal offered by Ul'tak. "Completely insane."

I turned my back on him – trusting Ul'tak to keep him in line for the time being. Muminah stood at attention, her eyes full of adoration as she hugged Bob to her, "My lord Warden is truly great to have bound the Tok'ra demon to his service."

"What can I say, he took a liking to me and just followed me home." I deliberately kept my gaze above her neck line as I asked, "What happened to Amun?"

"He arrived hours ago – restored to vitality by the god of hell." She blushed. "His person – was restored in tact. I hope my lord does not think me too presumptuous, but I gave him permission to continue in service to you without the ritual sacrifice usually asked of Heka's Lo'tar. However he is prepared to self-excise the tribute if necessary."

Sacrifice? Oh right – Amun had been a Eunuch. "Yes – that was the right decision. Wait... selfexcise?" I flinched in sympathetic pain for what Amun had avoided. "A freaking fantastic decision. The best one I've heard all year."

How many of my inherited servants had mutilated themselves in service to Heka? I shivered, even one was far too many. I shuddered – the only thing keeping me from becoming him was a layer of Mab's frost. An enchantment that would melt away in twelve hours or fewer by my count. I needed to get this finished – fast.

"Speak of the Devil," I smiled at the man carrying a heavy lacquered wood case into the room. "Amun!"

He was different than I remembered him. His cheeks were narrower, his face was covered in a dark hint of stubble and the muscles of his chest were more defined – no longer covered in the thin layer of pudgy flab which had previously covered his body. This was Amun as he would have grown up without Heka in his life.

It was the man who died for me without flinching. Whatever shame I felt for resurrecting him vanished upon seeing him in the room, alive and whole. It would plague me later on – I knew it – but if anyone deserved a second chance at happiness it was Amun.

I bear hugged him, whooping in joy as I lifted him from the ground and waved him back and forth. "Amun!"

Amun giggled in embarrassment, his voice now a thick tenor, "Thank you my Lord Warden. I will not squander this gift."

I dropped him, slapping his shoulder before opening the chest and exposing Heka's battle armor. "I know you won't."

Fortunately Amun only stripped me down to my silken undergarments before helping me into my armor. Being naked in front of a room full of observers once was enough for a lifetime. Though I supposed the court of Heka was essentially immune to nudity. Most servants seemed entirely comfortable in extreme states of disrobe – never mind the priestesses.

Me? I felt more comfortable behind the thick battle armor than I had in weeks. I activated the helmet, fitting my duster and cloak over the armor, observing myself in the reflecting pool. To my surprise the coiled serpents of Heka upon the featureless metal face were gone, replaced with an silver pentacle in imitation of the one I wore upon my neck. I ran my taloned fingertips over it.

"It seemed to me that a reborn god should bear the symbol he carries closest to his heart," Amun smiled at the reflection. "Not that of his former being."

I patted his shoulder in approval, taking the staff he offered me in my left hand as I walked over to the waiting cadre of Jaffa. "We ready to go here ladies? We've got tons to do and no time to do it in."

"Yes Warden," Xin spoke my title curtly – though not with as much spite as even moments ago. "We are prepared. And not a moment too soon."

The ground trembled, distant plumes of fire hinting at a massive explosion. The ancient Jaffa swore, "Aziel's forces approach. Hundreds of them. He is coming to avenge his former master."

"Damn," Xin swore. "Aziel was a lieutenant of Sokar, the one tasked with ensuring your loyalty. He has been planning your demise for two centuries. If anyone will have the override codes to turn your perimeter guns upon this palace – he will."

"Can the ship's shields protect us?" I asked Bob.

"For a while, sure" Bob replied. "But if we use any of the ship's guns the defense satellites will vaporize us from orbit. He won't need to outlast the shields, just keep us in place till someone gets control of the central computers."

"Bob," I smiled as an idea formed in my head. "When you went into Sokar's computer you got a whole bunch of passwords right?"

"Sure boss," Bob replied. "Everything he had."

"Would the codes to the artillery around this palace be in those?" I pointed out the window at the very guns which would soon be turned upon us.

"Uh," Bob's eyes flicked back and forth. "Yeah. Oh yeah! I love the way you're thinking bossman. Get me on your flagship and I can control them remotely."

"Bob – you have my permission to leave the skull so that you can enter whatever ship's system on my mothership you need to enter so that you can take control of those guns and protect the people in this palace till I return to the ship. Do what you have to do to keep them safe." Bob giggled with malicious glee, orange lights shimmering out from the skull in a giant cloud of orange motes of light. He seeped through the stone ceiling, up towards where I knew the ship to be. Ignoring the gobsmacked looks of surprise on everyone's faces I addressed Muminah, "Protect this skull at all costs. Get to everyone to the ship and let nothing happen to it."

"Yes my lord Warden," the perky priestesses bowed before rushing for the teleporter.

I clapped my gauntleted hands together, "Let's go out and greet our guests."

The ancient Jaffa whooped, in glee slapping Xin on the back as he shouted. "Come demon. We go to battle and glory."

"Insane," Xin repeated to himself as he unholstered his Zat. "I'm going to die following around a mad-person."