CHIKUEYI - METABOLISMS
Mary, Lightning, and Calamity were sitting outside the coyote's house. "House" was a relative term, since it was actually a cave carved out of a rocky hill. The cave was several hundred metres from the nearest house, which was also a considerable distance from the next one, until the houses increased in number as they approached the more populated centres of Heroica Nogales, Sonora. The landscape was practically the same as they had seen in Hermosillo, with the exception of a few sporadic deciduous trees planted along the street. Calamity's cave had several openings carved into it that served as the main entrance and bedroom windows, and it had a few boulders in the front yard instead of a lawn. Behind the cave was a wire fence, and beyond it was the United States.
The three toons were sitting on the boulders, waiting for Beeper and The J.A.M. When the Questor and Businessmouse arrived, the young Genius was sleepily, but happily, waiting for them. Explaining the whole spiel to him, and the bet between the roadrunner and the jaguar, brought the coyote to full alertness, and naturally, he agreed to help his human friend.
She looked at him as he nervously scanned the southern horizon with his night-vision binoculars; his ears low, and his short tail softly thumping on the rock. She looked down and saw the white cane on the sand, and beside it was Lightning speaking to Sneezer on his cell phone, also trying to explain the whole unworldly mess to him in his broken English.
The humanmaid sighed.
The hot chocolate and beef soup that her coyote friend gave her were clearing her eyesight and basically reviving her a trifle, after all the madness of this day. Still, she had to make a considerable effort so that exhaustion didn't overcome her, not now, not yet, and just sitting there doing nothing wasn't helping much. True, she did need some breathing time, but she wasn't sure how much she could afford with all this madness. She looked up at the night sky, and way in the west was the moon. Being so late, or so early, it looked like a half-closed eye. Examining the rest of the dark blue dome, she was amazed at the amount of stars she could see, along with the Milky Way. There were too many lights in Acme Acres, Mexico City, Guanajuato, and Hermosillo to truly see them, but Heroica Nogales, and Nogales, Arizona, were small towns that didn't have much light pollution.
How long had they been waiting? Twenty minutes? Thirty? An hour? Did The J.A.M. catch Little Beeper and eat him? Were they all right? Did they lose their way and run past Nogales and were now lost in Arizona?
No. She pushed down all those negative thoughts and tried to relax. Looking up again, she tried to identify some constellations, but her astronomy education hadn't been that in-depth. Pushing down a huge yawn, she turned to her canine friend and was about to ask him if he had some industrial strength coffee—
—with a "toing", his ears shot to the sky, and his tail wagged. The African-American turned to the southern horizon, and could just barely see a faint dust cloud approaching. "Lightning!" she called to the murid. "They're coming!" He looked south and also sighed with relief. This whole shenanigan was just about over. She then turned to the canid again and—
—saw that he was standing, his ears were flat, and his tail was tucked in?
"Something is definitely wrong," he signed, handing her the binoculars.
Fear pounced on Mary again as she took the device. She looked through them and for a moment could only see a green desert, until she focused on Beeper. Zooming in, she saw what had startled her friend.
Beeper's face was filled with panic and terror, unlike any he had ever experienced before. And the female, too, paled when she saw his face. On the bird's back, she could see that he was missing a lot of feathers, and that his primary tail feather had been sliced in half. And to top off the picture, he was holding up a huge sign that proclaimed:
"HE WANTS TO EAT ME!"
She couldn't believe it. The J.A.M. had actually caught up to Beeper, and was swiping his feathers right off his back! But—The J.A.M. never ran long distances without his ankles disintegrating! And hadn't he told her before that his warps were simulated? How could he be as fast as Beeper?
Her questions were answered by more movement in her field of vision. Zooming out a trifle, she thought she saw the jaguar appearing and reappearing all around the roadrunner. Was that how he was doing it?
A tap on her shoulder made her turn away. The canid was beside her, also frightened, and holding a sign, "What do we do now?"
The Questor had to think fast. Without the binoculars, she saw that the racers had now cut their distance from the horizon to the cave by half. They had less than a minute to go, if they kept up that speed. Turning back to the Genius, she replied, "Have Beeper stop right next to your front door. I'll take care of my 'boyfriend'." She looked back at the approaching toons, weary, yet with resolve.
Little Beeper couldn't believe it either. He could feel the jaguar's claws slashing his feathers off, and from the way he was warping and unwarping all around him, even in front of him, he knew that The J.A.M. was toying with him. He could only hope that Calamity had seen his sign and had something planned to save him from a definite death. Looking up, he saw the latrans' cave ahead.
And right in front of the door was a huge sign that ordered:
STOP
Mary Melody's heart raced as she waited behind the large boulder. Hearing the characteristic zoom rising in pitch, she reached behind her, and prepared herself.
This had to be timed perfectly.
At the sound of the 'klong', it will NOT be lunchtime, she thought, gritting her teeth.
Little Beeper zoomed up and suddenly halted next to Calamity with a "toing".
"NOW!"
(UNWARPOUNC—KLONNNNNNNNNGGGG!)
The humanmaid struck out with a large frying pan with both hands, right when the onça unwarped. As was expected, his pounce was stopped cold in mid-air, leaving his facial likeness on the cookware. Both mammals vibrated for a moment, then she planted her feet on the ground again while he fell back, unconscious, and with stars glittering all over his face. "Negrita" glanced at the pan, surprised when she saw that it even copied her "boyfriend's" fangs. Throwing it away, she turned to the other Mexicans. "Are you okay, Beeper?"
The avian was panting for the first time in his life, and his legs were shaking so much that his canine friend had to steady him. Both stared at the unconscious feline, and he signed at her, "You want us to help THAT?"
Holding his shaky wing, she replied, "Yes. But you must understand that that is not the friend you originally knew! Someone destroyed his life and turned him into a monster!"
Beeper flopped to the ground, "You had just better be right, Mary."
"And all of this had better be worth it," added Calamity, nearly snarling.
"It is," she replied with tired eyes. "None of you will remember this. And what we have waiting for us is much better than all we've accomplished. He helped us follow our greatest dream, the real him."
"Sneezer, Sweetee, and Professor Coyote arr comeeng," piped Lightning, putting away his cell phone. "Do joo teenk he'll stay out colld onteel dey get heerr?"
She looked down at the jaguar. His tongue was hanging out, and he still had stars glittering over his face. "I don't know. But let's hope he gets a good night's sleep. I know we'll all need one tomorrow, or should I say 'today'?" They let the panther rest, and took care of the shaky roadrunner. After a bowl of birdseed and a quick step out of frame, he was as good as new, save for some residual panting. The Questor sighed again. Looking at the Street Fighter sleeping on the sand reminded her of their last date in his lair. She was amazed that even now he looked cute when he was sleeping, or perhaps that was just a cat thi—
"I see we're all here, Mary."
Gasping and whirling, she nearly brandished a mallet, but stopped when she saw who had arrived. Wile E. Coyote, Sneezer, and Sweetie Bird were now in front of Calamity's cave as well.
"MARY!" piped the tiny toons, as they ran/flew over to hug her.
Again, she embraced them as best she could due to the size difference. "Boy, am I glad to see you two!"
"Lightning called us and told us the whole thing, yeah he did!" squeaked the American mouse. "I then called Sweetie, and then Professor Coyote, who took us here with a scene change. We're with you all the way, yes we are!"
"Whoa, no wonder you were just suddenly here!" She held both toons in front of her, and looked into their eyes. "Guys, I know that you two were planning to transfer to New York. If you still wish to study in Carnegie or the Smithsonian, just say so, and I'll call off the—"
"HEY!"
The humanmaid was startled at the canarymaid's shout, so she hushed and listened to what she had to say. "Mary, Sneezer here just told you that Lightning told us the WHOLE THING, AND that we were with you ALL THE WAY! The Smithsonian can wait, if we still do comedy. Besides, I was only transferring because HE WAS!"
Sneezer blushed a trifle, and added, "Um, yea, Mary. The Carnegie Institute is great, but they don't do a lot of comedy, nope-nope. And if we still stay with comedy, then we'll help you with your boyfriend! Um, where is he, huh-huh?"
She nodded to their right, and the three newcomers finally saw the reason for this whole mess. "He doesn't look THAT MEAN," piped the American bird.
The toon in question, however, decided to wake up at this point. "…ay————¿qué —— —— pasó?" he mumbled, rubbing his aching face.
"Joo lost," replied the Mexican mouse.
The jaguar looked up and saw the roadrunner, and the newcomers, and suddenly back at the roadrunner. "How de —— deed joo rrecobber so —— fast?"
The avian looked back at him and signed, "Education works wonders." For a moment, Beeper wanted to finish that phrase with "Chilango", but thought twice about it.
The African-American saw the onça stand without much shaking of his legs, obviously showing that he, too, had a quick recovery time. And for a moment she thought that he appeared to have slimmed down somewhat, but dismissed that as a trick of the darkness.
The J.A.M. examined the newcomers for a second, spat, and turned to her, "Let me —— guess: morr of my —— frennds?"
"Yes. And you wouldn't believe how much they care about you that they're willing to give up their success here and return to their previous lives. So try to have a little respect for them, okay? I'm sure they all more than respect you."
The panther didn't reply, so he just turned away again to examine the area and light a cigarette. Wile eyed him with curiosity and disgust for a moment, and spoke, "Very well, since we're all here, and since no one objects to Mary travelling in time to restore the original timeline, I guess we'll begin working on the time machine. Calamity, do you have the blueprints?"
"Yes." The "bit-players" gathered around a boulder, produced some flashlights, and began discussing among themselves as the young canid pulled out several large rolls of blue paper.
Until the felid tapped his shoulder and asked, "Oye¿tienes algún —— venado o algo más para comer? Tengo —— hambre."
The canine smirked in disgust and signed, "No," without looking up.
The feline insisted, "¿Mapache¿Rata¿Serpiente¿Preferiblemente todavía —— vivos?"
He whirled to him, ears flat and hackles raised, "¡NO¡Y mucho menos VIVOS!"
"Cal? What's going on?" asked the Questor, noticing the altercation.
"He's hungry. And he wants live prey."
"Hey, a —— carnívoro's gatt to eat. Dat —— rrace took a lot of —— enerrgy." Standing closer, and in the light, Mary noticed that her "boyfriend's" abdomen really had deflated, for some reason.
And he was eyeing the tiny toons now.
"Uh, J.A.M.?" she asked, leading him away. "Why don't we go into town and see if we can find you some—um—real food, okay?"
He was surprised to see her holding his arm and pulling him away from the group. He held back from retaliating, for some reason again. So, he just took a drag from his cigarette, spat, and replied, "I —— guess I donn haff a —— choees." He picked up his white cane, donned his sunglasses, and allowed "Negrita" to lead the way, while the rest worked on the time machine.
The "couple" walked/padded into the dark streets of Heroica Nogales, and as they approached the streetlights, Mary saw that The J.A.M. really did lose several kilograms. His abdomen was almost flat, and his t-shirt hung from his chest and not his stomach. In fact, he seemed more muscular now, especially his legs. He looked like a true street fighter now.
"J.A.M., how did you lose weight so fast?"
"¿Eh?" he spat, glancing at her and his abdomen.
"Yeah, when we were in your hideout, you looked as if you had just eaten a horse!"
"I had."
She gasped at that, but forced herself to continue, "And—and—and right now, you look as if you haven't eaten in a week! That never happened to you in the other timeline. What's up with that?"
He took another drag and chuckled, "Eet woodn't haff —— happenedd eef I had neberr eaten a —— horrs! Joo see—"
"¡QUIETOSSSSSSSSS!"
The "couple" froze, as the sound of multiple rattles filled the night air. Shadows moved around them, and moments later the humanmaid saw that they were surrounded by several huge rattlesnakes, nearly as long as she was tall, and all were clad in black leather and red bandanas.
He spat in disgust, "Oh ——! I —— woodn't haff let dees happen eef I hadn't been —— tokkeeng to joo, Negrita!"
"W-what do we do now?" she stuttered-whispered, glancing nervously about.
He thought for a moment, and replied softly, "Donn't —— move."
"Muy bien, cccccccccieguito," hissed the apparent gang leader. "Danosssssss todo lo que tienessssss, incluyendo tu —— guía, y te dejaremossss ir." Mary counted at least eight snakes all around them, poised and ready to strike.
"¿Quieren todo lo que —— tengo, incluyendo la —— Negrita?" asked The J.A.M., nonchalantly, ears up, and spitting out his cigarette. A few snakes nodded, but he just smiled, "Pues tendrán que —— quitármela."
(WARP!)
The cane and sunglasses fell.
Suddenly, the Questor realised that she was alone in the middle of a snake gang! Had he abandoned her?
(UNWARPCRACKWARP!)
All the reptiles gasped when they saw one of their own fall dead for no apparent reason, save for his head bent at a painful angle.
(UNWARPCRACKWARP!)
And it happened again. The remaining ophidians frantically whirled around and drew pistols with the tips of their tails.
(BANG!)
"¡ARRRGG!" moaned one, as his pistol was suddenly shot off his tail. At the sound of the gunshot, the female dropped to the sidewalk. Firearms were rarely used in the Looniversity, but now more madness was thrust in her face (UNWARPCRACKWARP!) quite literally, as another snake dropped dead, his surprised face inches from her own. Instinct was taking over her, and slowly she reached into her pocket to retrieve her own weapon. She stopped her movement as the remaining gang members fired randomly about, trying to kill the elusive "cieguito" (UNWARPCRACKWARP!) but they couldn't seem to hit him.
Now, only four rattlers were left. "¡JÚNTENSSSSSSSSE!" ordered the leader. The four converged around the humanmaid, facing and aiming in four directions. If the jaguar attacked, at least one would be able to see him coming. She couldn't risk drawing her gun out now, lest one of them see her and retaliate.
"Parece que no estoy tan —— ciego¿verdad?" asked the onça, almost ethereally, since the source of his voice could not be determined. The gang was clearly afraid now.
"¿QUÉ ERESSSSSSSS TÚ!" asked one in desperation.
Ethereally, the jaguar growled, "Tu peor pesadilla, ——."
(UNWARPCRACKCRACKCRACKCRACK!)
Mary didn't even have time to say "oof". But her best guess of what had just happened was that The J.A.M. unwarped on her back while he broke the rattlers' necks in rapid succession. After the last snake fell, he stepped off her and let her stand.
Dusting herself, she groaned as she caught her breath, "I thought that someone as evil as you wouldn't be much into saving lives."
He spat but didn't turn to look at her. "Sabeeng —— libes? Je je, Negrita I was sabeeng my —— monee and getteeng sommteeng to —— eat."
Good answer, as she knew he could never be that noble in this timeline. "Of course. What was I thinking?" she asked sarcastically.
He turned and picked up his sunglasses. "Je je, joo akchooally tott dat I was sabeeng JOO?"
"Well, it would be something that I would have done, regardless of what you were. I guess that intentions really do matter—what?" She noticed that he was staring at her with anger, evidenced by his flat ears, bared fangs, and reddening fur. "J-J.A.M.?" Oh no, was he going to finish her off now? He spat, continued to eye her with rage, and prepared to pounce. She cowered down, "I—I didn't mean to insult you or anything, but please don't kill me! Don't eat me! Don't—AAAAAAHHHHH!"
He pounced, however, but only to shove her down to the sidewalk. When she looked up, she saw that he hadn't attacked her, but a remaining snake instead, who apparently was about to strike her from behind. She had to turn away; however, because the panther had retaliated with a strike of his own, effectively engulfing the snake's entire head in his jaws with a sickening crunch. A slurping sound made her nearly empty her stomach, because she knew that he was eating the reptile as if he were a noodle. In fact, a few moments later he was eating the entire gang! Disgusted, she stood and walked away a bit, letting him finish his "dinner", or "breakfast" in this case, and trying to ignore the pain she had on her left shoulder and lower back. Several minutes later, when the slurping stopped, she felt a tap on her shoulder.
"Enjoy your dinner?" she asked annoyed, arms crossed.
"No," he spat. "Dey needed —— lemmon. Snakes are bery —— salty." Turning, she noticed that his abdomen was swollen again, and he was holding the snakes' few possessions of leather, bandanas, destroyed guns, and his white cane.
"Souvenirs?" she asked, frowning.
"Somm. I took de —— gonns dat steel worrkedd. Joo want de —— ledderr?" She wouldn't even begin to think what he wanted her to do with leather. So, she just turned and walked off. He shrugged, spat, and followed her, throwing away the leather, metal, and bandanas in a nearby dumpster. "Joo're —— welcomm," he growled, ears low.
Eventually, they found a 24-hour store. Once inside, they bought snacks and a soft drink for her, and raw meat for him. The clerk, an old male owl, refused to sell the jaguar, a minor, a bottle of tequila and cigarettes, which gave the humanmaid some relief. It was cut short when the onça offered to pay triple for his items, and the clerk agreed with a huge grin. So, he was right: it was very easy to bribe an authority. Shaking her head, she followed him to their booth, which consisted of stools around a small table next to the large window, a good place as any to have their "breakfast". In a short time, the female noticed that her "boyfriend" had smoked two cigarettes and consumed one-third of the tequila, and though his eye was bloodshot and his breath reeked of alcohol again, he didn't appear to be drunk.
"Well, before we were so rudely interrupted, you were going to tell me how you appeared to gain and lose weight so quickly?"
"¿Eh? O, jess," he spat, taking another drag. "Joo see, when I was takeeng —— karatte, I lerrnedd —— ways to control de —— body. Weet —— practice, I lerrnedd to —— improob my —— metaboleesm and queeckly use oll de —— enerrgy een meat and alcohol. Normally, when a —— carnívoro eats and rests, de —— meat torrns to —— fat and mossle, bott eet takes a —— long time forr fat to torrn to —— enerrgy. I lerrnedd how to —— speed dat opp. De morr I —— eat and dreenk, de morr —— enerrgy I haff to —— fite!"
Shivers crept on the African-American. Not only was he evil, but he had altered his metabolism to become a super-efficient fighter? "Is—is that how you were able to keep up with Beeper?"
The Mexican laughed and spat, "Jess. Dat was so —— eesy. And dat ees also why I —— eat whoeberr I —— fite," he finished his cigarette and ground out the stub.
This was too much for her, so she changed the subject. "Um—I noticed that you have the heads of several people on your gold chains. You mentioned Darwin, but who are the others?"
He glanced down at his shirt and pulled out his chains again. "Ah, oll of deese are —— famoss peepoll." He held them out one by one. "Darrween—Karrl Marrx—Engells—Staleen—Lenneen—Heetlerr—Robbesspierr—Napoleón—Mussolini—General Tojo—Marrshall Tito—Saddam Hussein—Anton LaVey—Osama Bin Laden—Idi Amin—Mao Tsedong—Fidel Castro—El 'Che' Guevara—De Uneebomberr—El —— Sub-comandante Marcos— Santa Ana—Porfirio Díaz—Luis Echeverría…" On and on he named them, dictators and despots, fascists and communists, terrorists and Satanists, all of them people who had caused mental, spiritual, and physical devastation, both in reality and in toonity, and apparently his "hall of fame" included shady characters from Mexican history as well. He lit up another cigarette and stated triumphantly, "My —— heross. Eempresseev, don't you —— teenk?"
The Questor just shook her head, propping it on the table. There was one more thing she needed to know, or that she already knew and it had broken her heart, but that she had to hear directly from him. "J.A.M.—ever since—um—you began all this—well—back in my timeline, both of us are saving ourselves for the honeymoon, but I need to know—um—well—how—um—how many females—how many females have you—have you—?"
"——?"
She winced and frowned. "I was going to say 'had', you pervert!"
The Street Fighter spat and chuckled at that, almost as if he liked being called a pervert. "Well, Negrita, now dat joo —— mention eet—let's see—" He took another drag and tilted his head as he searched his memory for a summary of his exploits, smiling and chuckling occasionally as he did, and counting off on his paw digits. She wanted to slap him every time he smiled, chuckled, and even licked his fangs occasionally, but held herself back. Finally, he laughed, "Je je, I teenk I —— lost count!" She shook her head in tremendous grief, rubbing her face. "Jess: mammals, berrds, and —— rreptiles. I teenk I even—je je—'had' a —— pangoleen once!"
That was plainly insane. "A pangolin?" She eyed him with disbelief.
"Dey haff —— scales, right?"
"Th-that's beside the point. But again, what I want to know—and what you need to think about—J.A.M., how many of those females—let you—um—'have' them—out of their own will?"
"¿Eh?"
The female knew that the concept would be practically impossible for him to understand, but she pressed, "Yes. How many of them—well—wanted to be with you? How many of them stayed by your side without you needing to restrain or threaten them? How many kissed you without you asking for it? How many of them just held your paw because they loved how good that felt? How many looked into your eyes and wanted to never look at anything else again? How many ran their hands through your headfur because they loved making you purr? How many were willing to die for you? How many—how many—" she sniffed, "—loved you?"
The male removed his sunglasses and remained quiet throughout her questionnaire, taking a drag or two, and eyeing her with contempt. And he remained quiet after she finished. Another drag, a spit, some more tequila, and then he replied with a voice that sounded very, very tired, "Negrita, I —— tolld joo beforr: —— lobb dossen't exeest. Eet deedn't —— exeest when I was a —— cobb, eet deedn't —— exeest when I was een —— school, eet deedn't —— exeest when I was takeeng karatte, and eet deedn't —— exeest when I left homm. No —— female wanted to get closs to me becoss of my —— eye, so I had to—je je—make —— teengs happen." Her thoracic cavity seemed to connect with her throat as he spoke. Growing up without love would be devastating for anyone. "Eef joo donn't —— beleeb me, oll I haff to —— do ees say dat de —— anserr to oll joorr —— queschonns ees CERO!" he suddenly roared, ears flat, making her jump back a trifle.
But then, she frowned at him, and replied with a tone that almost sounded like a growl, "You're wrong."
He took another drag and raised both ears and an eyebrow, "Je je, I'm —— 'rrong'?"
"Yes. Contrary to what you grew up with, today you have seen two mice, one female canary, one coyote, one roadrunner, and one female human give up their successful careers in order to give you your real life back!" He just stared at her. "And though you may be a complete distortion of the boyfriend I knew, I'll have you know that if we can't get the time machine to work, then I'll be more than willing to take you in with us—and yes—(gulp)—I'd bring myself to love you, regardless of who you are or what you did! And have you noticed that I haven't tried to run away from you, despite what I know you're capable of doing to me? When was the last time a female hugged you the way I did back in Thermos—Hermit—"
" Hermosillo."
"That place! J.A.M.—if no one has ever loved you, please understand—please get this in your head: there are those who love you now. There are those—who are willing to die for you."
The panther spat and smirked again, and produced a wad of bills. " Dees can —— get me oll de —— frennds I need. Dees can —— get me enny —— female to comm to me weetout —— keednappeeng herr. Dees can get me oll de —— 'lobb' joo say joo haff!"
"The difference is that you don't have to pay us one cent," she retorted. "Did you ever realise that?"
He sat back, putting away the money. "¿Qué? Joo meen no one ees —— payeeng joo to do dees?"
"Not one cent, J.A.M. That's the difference between me and any female who will take your money."
"Orr maybe joo'rre josst —— crazy," he took another drag.
Bleep it, why won't he accept this? "To you, yes, I suppose I am. True love can do that to you. You go crazy because the one you love has been turned into a monster."
"Je je, joo'rre —— smart, Negrita. Bott I donn't —— teenk dat I cood ever be like joorr —— boyfrennd. Heerr, I haff oll de —— females I can —— buy!" He spat and chuckled again, leaning back to drink more tequila.
Mary sighed and shook her head, wondering if she would have an impossible task before her if the coyotes failed. But she had to try. "J.A.M., I know it's impossible for you to believe or accept this, but all of what you're doing—is just plain immoral, and illegal—and—and—it can destroy you in the long run. If we can't get the time machine to work—do you think—do you think—that you could—well—stop with the females?"
The J.A.M. lowered his ears and raised an eyebrow, "Stop?"
"If you are so strong now, do you think you could use your strength to control yourself and just leave females alone? It's not impossible, you know—"
"Je je, joo might as well —— ask me to —— stop eeteeng!" Again, she shook and lowered her head as he laughed his heart out. Perhaps he was beyond help in this timeline? If he was, then the time machine had just better work. But if it didn't—the only option here would be to get him to marry her so that at least his 'activities' would be legal, though marriage was something she had considered to be in the latter future and not right around the corner— "Joo kno, joo shood —— try eet." She suddenly looked up at him, with incredible anger. "I —— bet dat eef joo stay heerr weet me —— long enoff, joo'll —— teenk deeferently. I can —— make joo a —— bikini weet de —— ledder from de —— snakes—and den—weet a leetle —— museec—joo'll —— see what joo'be been —— meeseeng." That was the most repugnant proposal she had ever received. Even Montana Max, as evil and greedy as he was, never gave offers of this type to Elmyra, much less to anyone else. Her fists trembled with rage. "Den joo can see eef joorr —— boyfrennd ees —— worrtt eet, jess? Je je je—" At this point, her self-control snapped under the pressure of his repugnant laughter, the cigarette smoke that he happily blew on her from his nostrils, her anger at this entire lunacy, and her desire to slap him for all he had done.
(SLAP!)
And slap him she did.
The Questor's heart raced again, fuelled by anger and terror, because she thought that now he was going to "have" her right here and right now—
The Street Fighter just turned back to her slowly, ears up, smiling and straightening his cigarette, almost as if he was daring her to slap him again. And was he? Weren't his feline reflexes fast enough to dodge the slap?
Did he let her slap him?
From the smirk on his face, Mary deduced that he had received blows much worse than what she had just delivered. In fact, despite the fact that she did slap him hard, she noticed that his fur had barely ruffled. And that her own hand seemed to be stinging, for some reason.
"Okay, —— forrget de —— bikini, je je je." She was ready to slap him again, regardless of the consequences, if it was just to remove that repugnant laugh, perverted smile, and stinking cigarette from his jaws. And the humanmaid was right; his lifestyle was already taking its toll on the jaguar, because a pimple had just appeared on his right cheek—
—and it was moving?
At this point she suddenly remembered a scene from a movie—she couldn't remember the title—about two people who were talking in a booth next to a large window, as they were, and a red dot appeared on one of them—
Suddenly realising that it was no pimple, she threw herself over the table, knocking over the tequila, and pushed him backward on the floor. "LOOK OUT!"
If only for a moment, the onça was surprised that for the first time in his life a female had thrown herself at him out of her own free will while not in a fight. Then he felt angry because the bottle fell and now all his precious tequila, and his cigarette, were on the floor—
(ZAPCRASHBLAM!)
That thought was stopped with a flash of light and the window next to them suddenly shattered and cascaded in shards to the floor. Some groceries next to them exploded and fell on the floor as the laser blasted on them. The male tried to stand, but his "girlfriend" held him firmly on the floor, pushing him against the short brick wall that was under the window. Lasers continued to fly over them, and a few exploded on the edge of the wall.
D-Boy had found his target at last. Hiding his airbike just out of town, he ventured into the city, homing in on the evil vibes. Now, perched on the roof of a building across the street from the store, he had picked his target with a pinpoint red laser generated by his right index digit. He frowned when the humanmaid threw the Anathema down, and was rather disappointed when he realised that in Mexico most buildings were made of bricks and not wood or sheet-rock. He had to be careful, though, since the other toon was apparently shielding the Anathema. He couldn't use any high-power beams right now, lest he damage the store more than he already had. Still, a low power energy blast to the brain should be enough to kill the evil feline.
"—— GET DE —— OFF ME!" growled the jaguar dangerously, ears flat and tail swishing.
"Bleep it, do you want to DIE!" growled the humanmaid back, almost as dangerously.
"He can't —— keel me eef he can't —— see me! Joo —— kno I'm too —— fast forr heem!"
"You don't know that! Beeper is Beeper, but he and the snakes were able to sneak up on you! I don't know how this other toon found you, but he doesn't want to fight you, he wants to KILL you!"
"Dat's —— why I haff to —— keel heem fersst!"
"NO! NO ONE HAS TO DIE ANYMORE! I CAN CHANGE ALL THIS!" His reply to that was a very threatening growl, accompanied by his fur and eye turning blood red, and showing a remarkable dental exhibit. Mary would have run just at the sound of that, but she had to keep him down. Then, she felt something wrap itself around her waist. She thought that it was the clerk because she was holding both of the onça's arms down, but suddenly she was thrown off him and back on top of the table. The J.A.M. immediately whipped himself to all fours and (WARP!) disappeared. Quickly, the female got up, but her "boyfriend" was gone. She looked back to scold at the clerk, but stopped when she saw him cowering behind the counter. She deduced that the only way she could have been thrown off would be by the onça using his tail. Then, she realised that she was in clear view for whoever was shooting, and apparently, he/she/it wasn't interested in her.
She, however, was interested in him/her/it.
She drew her own gun, checked to see if it was loaded, removed the safety, jumped out the window, and hid behind a parked car.
D-Boy suddenly glanced everywhere, since it seemed that the Anathema was appearing and reappearing all over the place. He was moving too fast to get a fix on him! (UNWARP!) But suddenly, there he was, standing in the middle of the street. The wolf lit the red dot on the jaguar's forehead and—
(WARPZAPBOOM!)
—missed?
Huh? Where did the Anathema go—?
—and why were his hackles rising—?
DUCK!
(BANGBANGBANGBANG…!)
Now that both Questor and Street Fighter had identified the Sniper's position, they fired back.
"ITAI!" he whine/yelped as a bullet nicked his left ear. He dropped flat on the roof as more bullets zoomed dangerously close to his head, and some ricocheted off the short rampart. He whined as he pressed his paw on his ear, trying to push the intense pain away. Still, with his other ear, he distinctly heard two sources of gunfire, so he waited until the shooting stopped. If he was correct, one was a professional, and the other was a rookie.
The humanmaid didn't have night vision, but the store's light behind her helped her more or less see that there was someone on the roof. Still, for a moment she thought she was just shooting shadows, though the panther was shooting at the same spot. But from where?
(BANGBANGBANGCLICKCLICKCLICK—)
Bleep, out of bullets. She sat next to the car and fumbled with the clips in her pockets, trying to learn on the fly how to reload this particular gun model.
The arctic wolf smiled for a moment when he heard a gun click, and the other go silent. And the Anathema hadn't moved. Silently, yet painfully, he rolled to a rear corner of the roof, and jumped down to an alley.
The J.A.M. expertly reloaded his two pistols, keeping his eye on the roof and staying in the shadows. He had the feeling that he knew who was up there, and wondered if either the crazy human girl or he had blasted the sniper's head off, since he hadn't tried to fire again.
The faintest thud reached his sensitive ears.
And a light breeze blew a particular scent to his sensitive nose.
Oh, ——!
(WARPZAPBOOM!)
D-Boy would have cursed himself by missing again, but curses weren't part of him. In fact, he felt sorry for the business whose wall he had just blown down and—
"CELESTIAL SHIELD!"
Mary finally managed to remove the empty clip from her gun, and was now trying to figure out which end of the new one went first. The laser blast and explosion made her drop the new clip, unfortunately, but at least she knew where the sniper was.
(BANGBANGBANGBANG!)
Not to mention her "boyfriend", but the bullets didn't seem to be hitting the sniper.
How the bleep do you load this bleeping thing!
The bullets were coming from different angles, but the source was the same, as he felt the Anathema zooming all over the place. The lupus tried shooting several power beams, but his target was simply too fast. He released his injured ear to fire with both paws, but he still couldn't hit him.
Bleep it, it was the wolf with the laser bazooka! Or a blaster pistol, at least, since he was shooting with both paws. And he was shielding himself somehow! How on earth were they going to defeat him now? The humanmaid peeked from behind the car, and noticed again that the wolf was concentrating on the jaguar, not her. Analysing the scene, however, she couldn't help but be impressed. The onça moved much faster than what she remembered, judging from the angles the bullets were ricocheting off the canid's shield, which she prayed was mechanically generated. The sniper, on his part, was simply too slow to get a direct hit on her "boyfriend". She then sneaked off to the shadows as well, fumbling with the gun and clip, and wondering if his shield only worked from the front.
Okay, no more Mister Nice Whitewulf. Being as impulsive as he was, he wanted to destroy the Anathema NOW, so he stepped out of the safety of the alley and on to the sidewalk, under a balcony. He should at least get a better view of his target here.
(BANGBANGBANGBANG!)
(ZAPZAPZAPZAPZING!)
As the female continued sneaking around, her blood pooled to her feet once again when the Sniper padded out to the light. He was an arctic wolf, though the left side of his head seemed to be red, and he had no weapons whatsoever.
He was shooting, and shielding himself, with some sort of superpower!
(ZAPZAPZAPZAPZING!)
(BANGBANGBANGBANG!)
The shooting continued, apparently randomly, but neither side could get a direct hit.
(BANGBANGBANG!)
Until the jaguar made the fatal mistake of shooting three times in succession from the same pistol.
The Anathema fired three times from the same gun, forcing himself to stay in one spot for more than three-tenths of one second.
Enough time for D-Boy to pinpoint his location, aim, and fire.
(ZAPBOOMUNWARPTHUD!)
"¡AAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGG!" roared The J.A.M. in pain as his pistols were blown off his paws, forcing him to unwarp and fall back on the pavement.
Triumphantly, D-Boy smiled and looked down at the stunned jaguar. Slowly, he raised his paws high, and lowered them to point straight down at the Anathema. His shield deactivated as he transferred more and more power to his paws.
Mary didn't know that fear and terror reached such high levels. Still, seeing her "boyfriend" flat on his back, stunned and unable to warp, while a super-powered arctic wolf pointed his arms at him—obviously powering them up due to the increasing light emanating from them—was enough to nearly drain her colour off for good. She tightened her fists, and doing so realised that she was still holding her own pistol, now properly loaded. But would she dare shoot someone who was about to kill someone evil? Would she kill, even though this entire timeline would eventually be erased from everyone's memory except her own?
She raised her gun, but her hands were shaking too much to get a proper fix on the wolf's head or chest.
Ohwhattodowhattodowhattodo—
The light coming from the canid's arms was lighting up the area considerably.
And the light attracted a few insects.
She looked above the lupine.
Her hands stopped trembling.
She aimed.
Dirt and small rocks appeared to be floating around D-Boy as his power level reached its peak. His face shone with the light that came from his arms, not with a hellish glare, but with a brilliance of angelic wrath and judgement.
"Your life of murder and destruction ends here, panther scum!"
(BANG!)
The arctic wolf glanced to his left, surprised to see an African-American humanmaid pointing a gun at him, or more exactly, above him. Either she was a tremendously bad shot, or—
(THUD!)
He winced a trifle when something fell on his head and rolled off. He dismissed that and was about to tell her to let him do his job—
—when a loud buzzing filled his ears.
Then, pinpoints of stinging pain filled his ears, snout, nose, the top and back of his head, the neck—
BEES!
And African ones, at that.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed/yelped/whined as he threw his arms about, unconsciously powering them down. Panic brought by his bee-phobia took over his brain and he continued to scream/yelp/whine in terror. The insects crawled inside his clothes and attacked there as well.
Mary couldn't believe what she had just done. She wouldn't wish this kind of torture on anyone, not even Montana Max, nor the toon who changed the timeline. And the canine screams of pain made her skin want to crawl out of audio range. She was about to grab The J.A.M. and run, but she couldn't leave the wolf like that.
She wasn't a villain.
Carefully stepping as close as she could without getting the bees' attention, she put her gun away and slowly brandished something behind her. "Hey, Terminator!"
D-Boy turned to see who had decided to mock him by compari—
(BONK!)
For a moment, his head was flattened, until the mallet was removed, and it bounced back into normal shape, except for a huge lump on top. Then, he fell on his back with the bees still swarming all around him.
The Questor put the mallet (with extra-long handle) away and ran before the bees noticed the other source of annoyance. At least now the "Terminator" would be unconscious during the bees' attack. She helped the Street Fighter get back on his foot-paws, though his legs were still a trifle shaky.
Suddenly the onça heaved himself toward the downed lupus and roared, "¡'ORA SÍ TE MATO, —— ————!" His "girlfriend" winced when she heard that, despite the fact that she didn't understand him, though she knew he was uttering mega-curses. She knew that French was a colourful language, but tonight she saw that Spanish had more than its share of Technicolor as well. From behind him, she put her arms around his waist and tried to drag him away. "¡TE VOY A APLASTAR LA —— —— CABEZA, —— —— ——!" He struggled to pull free from her grip, and was foaming from his jaws as he did. His fur was redder than ever, and his tail was puffed up and swishing like a seismograph stylus.
Another sound filled Mary's ears. "J.A.M., no!" she pleaded. "The bees will get you, too! And we have to get out of here before the police get here! Come on!"
"—— —— —— LOBO —— —— ———!"
"…J.A.M.…"
Suddenly, the male stood completely still, save for his tail. His growling stopped as well, as if to hear the female better, because she just had whispered in his left ear. Something overcame him, something that, incredibly, was much stronger than he was. Or maybe it was the fact that no female had ever whispered in his ear before, much less with a voice as beautiful as "Negrita's" was, and much less while hugging him from behind. For a moment, he heard police sirens as well, but dismissed that as a figment of his imagination.
"…Please, stop this…" Her whisper seemed to penetrate his brain, like a light in a dark cave. "…Let's go back to Calamity's. They must have finished the time machine by now. And if it works, none of this will have ever happened! No one will remember this…!" And she was weeping, driving her point straight to his putrid soul. "…For once in your life, just let this go! He can't hurt you anymore, and he won't hurt you anymore! He won't remember this. No one will—!—except me…"
His tail stopped twitching, his ears rose, and his fur returned to normal. He held her hands, as if to break from her grip, but instead he just stood there and held them.
It was an interesting, unknown, and scary feeling he was experiencing right now.
A strange sound softly rose from his throat, one that had lain dormant since he was four years old.
He was purring?
Suddenly shaking this nonsense out of himself, and remembering the pain in his paws, the Street Fighter spat. Turning a bit, he hissed, "I won't —— keel heem now. Bott when joo'rre —— gonn, I weel —— keel heem and eat heem. Joo can't —— stop me, Negrita. No one can!"
The Questor's arms left his waist, but she still gently held his arm. "You've been wrong before, J.A.M. Don't ever forget that." Here, several police cars, sirens blaring, fishtailed onto the street several blocks away. Well, at least they would take care of the wolf and the bees. Jumping again, she pulled down the scenery, and now both were back at Calamity's cave—
—and no toon was there.
Spanish/Japanese - English
...ay--------¿qué —— —— pasó? — ...ow--------what the ———— happened?
Oye¿tienes algún —— venado o algo más para comer? Tengo —— hambre. — Hey, do you have any —— deer or anything else to eat? I'm —— hungry.
¿Mapache¿Rata¿Serpiente¿Preferiblemente todavía —— vivos? — Raccoon? Rat? Snake? Preferably still alive?
¡NO¡Y mucho menos VIVOS! — NO! And much less ALIVE!
¡QUIETOSSSSSSSSS! — FREEEZZZZZZZZZZZZE!
Muy bien, cccccccccieguito. Danosssssss todo lo que tienessssss, incluyendo tu —— guía, y te dejaremossss ir. — Very well, little-blind-one. Give usssssss all that you have, including your —— guide, and we'll let you go.
¿Quieren todo lo que —— tengo, incluyendo la —— Negrita? Pues tendrán que —— quitármela. — You want everything that I —— have, including the —— black-maid? Well you'll have to —— take her from me.
¡JÚNTENSSSSSSSSE! — GATHER UP!
Parece que no estoy tan —— ciego¿verdad? — It looks like I'm not so —— blind, right?
¿QUÉ ERESSSSSSSS TÚ! — WHAT ARE YOU!
Tu peor pesadilla, ——. — Your worst nightmare, ——.
CERO — ZERO
ITAI — Japanese cry of pain
'ORA SÍ TE MATO — I KILL YOU RIGH' NOW
TE VOY A APLASTAR LA —— —— CABEZA — I'M GOING TO FLATTEN THE (your) —— HEAD
LOBO — WOLF
