Edward

I was nothing. Nothing.

Nothing to compared to her. And she was everything. Because she could do everything. And I could do nothing.

She was so strong and was the reason I was still alive. Even though the death-threat comes from her as well. But that doesn't seem to matter anymore. She told me. She told me that she did this for a reasonable reason. And that's what matters. I should have believed her from the start. I wouldn't have needed to become tied up to the bed in that uncomfortable position.

But not anymore. I'm free from them. I free in her arms. As she cocoons me in her warm blankets and hums for my calmness as I slip in and out of consciousness. She's so good to me. She tells me she loves me. And says that she knows I love her too, because she also knows that I can't say it myself anymore. I don't got the energy.

She's so good to me. She would never hurt me. The cool baths sting my skin, but then she says that I'll be alright and I'm not cold anymore. She wouldn't hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt me. Never. So it's fine and warms me. And I know it was all in my mind.

It worries me. How I think of these things. The way it makes me question her actions. I told her and she looked slightly concerned for a moment, but then proceeded to smile a little.

"Good. Very good, Edward. It's good that you told me. It was the right thing to do. Very good.Now I can save you from those doubts and misery. I promise you that it won't be a bother if you will remember afterwards that you were wrong for that little moment. Because you know that I would never do anything to harm you. How crazy is that? I would love you and then I would hurt you? Those things together would repeal themselves. I love you, Edward. So I cannot hurt you. Remember."

I remember. So I will punish myself for ever thinking like that, when I do. I say that was wrong, wrong, wrong. And I will never question her loyalty, love and care for me ever again!

But I do. But then I remind myself that I was so wrong. She loves me. She doesn't hurt me. She won't hurt me. And has never hurt me.

She gave me a piece of sellery yesterday. It was confusing. I don't eat. She told me that this was a prize.

"A prize for listening to me. I know, I'm spoiling you. But you deserve it", she said with a giggle and popped it into my mouth. But soon we realized that I could chew it down. It was tad disappointing, but it didn't really matter, because I didn't want it anyway.

But she shoved it down my throat after realizing I couldn't eat it by myself. I didn't understand, because it hurt my throat and a whimper escaped my lips. That tiny sound was the first sound from me for two weeks except from the rumbling in my stomach.

She hurted me. She couldn't do that! No, it must've been an accident. She didn't want to harm me deliberately.

"Did you know that sellery takes more calories going through the digestive tract than it has itself?", Jane said afterwards as she began to run her slender fingers through my tangled hair.

I didn't know.

How you learn something new everyday. "I will get a comb for this. Your hair is a mess", she commented and walked up the stairs. But she didn't come back.

WMWM

I slept through most of the day. Or night. I'm not sure which it was. Maybe I slept through several days, nights.

She came back downstairs and I would have smiled I could have. But she didn't either this time. What was wrong?

"I'm taking you upstairs now. Don't resist me. I'll carry you", she says with serious manners and quickly whips the cover off from me. She tucks her arms under my back and knees and hoists me up. Without noticing much more we are already by the door of her bedroom. The master bedroom that is. Why are we here?

She lays me on the soft, soft bed and I lower my head on the thick pillow greedily to have more touch of the silkiness of the covers. I hum brokenly in satisfaction.

"Edward. Look at me", she commands and I notice I have closed my eyes. I look up to her as she stands beside me. She fidgets. "I have something to tell you. I'm... I'm going", she says bluntly.

I become anxious. She's leaving? Where? Why? Shall I come with her? Does she want me to come? What's going on?

"I have another 'gig' with the archaeologists to... Well, the whereabouts don't really matter. I need to go. I've skipped so many other for you, but I cannot do that anymore. We got a big fund for it too. I need to make use of it. It's two years. We will be travelling everywhere... I can't take you with me. So, I'm leaving. But I will come back for you. And I'll be waiting to find you after it in the same condition. Don't change. You know how much effort it took to get to this. We have to remain that and worship it. Remember that!" she says strongly and stares at me fiercely. There's no more saying to that even if I could.

"But someone needs to take care of you during the time I'll be gone. I will call you father. He might think strange things about why you would be in this shape, but don't let him fool you. You're perfect like this." I want to nod. She's right. She always is.

Then she comes forward and kisses my lips lovingly, slow and affectionately. "I love you. Remember, I'll come back for you. Don't ever change", she whispers in my ear and the warm breath tickles my skin lovely.

She walks away for the phone and taps on the numbers and waits for Carlisle to answer. She gives me a smile, when he answers.

"Hello, Carlisle. It's Jane", her voice is teary. I don't get it. She's smiling at me and still does when her gaze falters on the floor beneath her feet. But her voice is broken and sad. Desperate far most.

"I, I've, you need to know something. It's about Edward. It's gone for so long... But I couldn't make him see... I tried. But he doesn't believe me, he won't listen! I don't know what to do. And I've got this new work task I need to do. It's two years. And I can't take care of him anymore. I need you Carlisle. Edward needs you. You got to understand. He's sick."

After a while she puts down the phone. With a sad smirk on her face she comes closer again. "I'll see you. Stay the same. I'll come back. And remember who is my own father. Aro Volturi. You know, I'll do anything to be able to love you. Remember. I love you", she tells me over and over again and gives me light kisses all over my face and rubs her hands all over my body at the same time. Gripping hard on my hip bone and another hand wrapping around my thigh she once again says: "Never change, Edward. You're perfect like this. Just like this. Just like this I love you."

And then she's gone.

And my father comes in. Halted by the doorway in state of shock, his mouth opening a little and eyes widening. A scared expression as a worried one penetrated on his face. He gasps and breaths: "Oh, my son."

And that's when I slip back into unconsciousness again.


Sorry it took this long to update again. I know that this chapter looks a little different to the other ones. I used a lot of Italic and Bold. Anybody guesses why is that?