Chapter 11: Thank Goodness
save us from the wicked
Whispers traveled through the crowd gathered in the heart of Emerald City. For the past three years, it was all anyone could talk about, at the forefront of Ozian anxiety: the Wicked Witch of the West.
In a relatively short amount of time, she'd become more of a legend than an actual person, her name and face unknown. When people spoke of her, they could only picture that green-and-black figure in the sky, on a broom, sometimes cackling to herself. Popular, Wizard-supported artists had latched onto this, drawing unflattering caricatures of an old, green, warted woman, and had given permission for them to be used on various anti-Animal propaganda.
The Wicked Witch of the West, for all the fear she struck into the hearts of Ozians, had managed to bring everyone closer together. Her appearances, swift as they were, created more gossip throughout the land than any subversive Animal activity before her.
So far, two things had been of main importance to the people of Oz: the Wizard and their fear of the Wicked Witch of the West.
That day, a third would be added to the list: the Wizard's spokesperson, Kai Upland, was going to make his first official appearance as new Captain of the Guard.
As much as the Wicked Witch of the West had risen in infamy, Kai had risen in popularity, as he was first introduced to the people by the Wizard as the first sorcerer to work alongside him personally, and as a spokesperson to spread hope in light of recent events. He was almost something of a legend himself, though more accessible to the people; they talked of his accomplishments ("He was made a sorcerer during his first year out of university and graduated a year after that!"), his character ("He's so kind and charming to everyone"), and, of course, his good looks ("Isn't he handsome? It's so lucky he's a bachelor!"). Just as he had been during his short days at Shiz, Kai was well-loved among the citizens of Oz, their shining savior in times of need.
When Kai walked out on the press balcony of the Wizard's Palace with Press Secretary Hou-Ting behind him, there was a loud cheer, to which Kai smiled humbly.
"Thank you," he said into the microphone, his voice low and clear, "for taking time out of your day to come celebrate this joyous occasion with me. I'm honored to be your new Captain of the Guard." Another cheer arose, and he paused accordingly. "I know this has been a terrifying time in Ozianhistory, but I want you to be rest assured that our Wizard is more than a match for the Wicked Witch of the West."
The words left a bitter taste in his mouth, even as he smiled. In the beginning, Kai had tried to spread some form of the truth, but there was no one who would believe anything other than what the Wizard said. Faced with being left to the same fate as Jinora, as a fugitive, cowardice had taken over him, and Kai had gone along with the Wizard's plan. And now, even though he regretted his choice to do so - regretted not leaving with Jinora when she had offered, because he had just been too scared; Jinora had always been the brave one - he found himself unable to leave. The crowds adored him, looked up to him. He had made something of himself. Something good.
But every time he thought of Jinora - which, after three years, was still far too often - it was difficult to breathe. Perhaps staying in the Emerald City, full of green, had not been the best choice. Kai wasn't sure what he was more scared of: that he wouldn't forget the way her laughter sounded, the way her lips had been so soft and warm against his, or that he would. He didn't know which was more painful.
"I became Captain of the Guard to find her," Kai said. "I can promise you I will."
And he meant it, though not the way he was sure the citizens of Oz were taking it. After a few months under the Wizard's direct authority, he came to learn that becoming Captain of the Guard - leading the very group that was now bent on hunting Jinora down - was the only way he could seek her out while staying under the radar. It was possibly the only kind of rebellion Kai had left in himself after years of working in the very same system of oppression that had caused his best friend to take to the skies, but somehow, it made him feel rooted in who he was before that first meeting with the Wizard so many years before. It gave him a sense of humanity in the face of all the fake smiles and delicately worded press conferences. Jinora had always brought out the best in him. Even after three years, probably miles away, just the memory of her kept him grounded.
As the cheering died down, the rumours began. Again.
It wasn't the first time he'd heard any of them. The most popular ones were that she had a third eye that always stayed awake (untrue), that she could shed her skin (untrue), that rebel Animals often aided her (true), and that pouring pure water on her could melt her (most likely untrue as well). The first few times he heard people talk about her in such an ugly light, he often lashed out and lost control, accusing everyone around him of being empty-headed. Eventually, with some reigning in (along with some very effective threats from Madame Hou-Ting), he had learned to hold his tongue, to force a smile anyway. Somehow, his silence only fueled his anger. Sometimes, he wondered how he could live with himself. If he even wanted to anymore.
He cleared his throat into the microphone. "Thank you again for coming. I know it's just a formality, but I'm still honored that so many of you came to celebrate with me. I - "
One voice pierced through the crowd, interrupting him. "Captain Kai! How does it feel?"
He paused for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Then, he smiled that careful smile that he'd spent the past three years perfecting, and said, "I couldn't be happier. Everything I could have dreamed of and more has come true. Thanks to our wonderful Wizard, I simply couldn't be happier."
Well, not simply. He had to make some hard choices along the way, leave behind some of the things - the people - he'd valued most. The woman he loved. Along the way, he wasn't sure if he'd given up a part of himself in the process, a part that he could never get back.
"Yes, I couldn't be happier," he said again, "because happiness is what happens when all your dreams come true." His smile faltered, as the day he had chosen his path, and Jinora had chosen hers, came hurtling into his mind. The day some of his dreams had died."Well…" his voice cracked and he felt tears prick at his eyes. "Isn't it?" He swallowed hard and plastered on a smile. "Yes," he said once more, "happiness is what happens when all your dreams come true. Thank you for coming, and thank you for allowing me to be your Captain of the Guard. Your support means everything to me."
He bowed politely before turning to leave, and the shouts of "Thank goodness for Captain Kai!" pierced his ears as he departed.
Kai hastily wiped his eyes. Here he was, the most beloved person in all of Oz, except maybe the Wizard, with the world at his fingertips. His family was proud. His friends were proud. Everyone was so damn proud that he'd made something of himself. Yet he had never felt like more of a failure.
"An excellent performance today, Captain," Madame Hou-Ting said, her lips drawn into a smug smile. The mockery underlying her words made him narrow his eyes.
"A pleasure, as always," he said, giving her a strained smile. "Now if you'll excuse me."
He made his way out of the Wizard's palace, all the while smiling and waving at anyone who greeted him.
He was tired of it. Tired of performing, tired of lying, tired of all the fake smiles that everyone believed. When was the last time his smile had been genuine? He suspected it was the day that had changed everything, when he and Jinora had come to the Emerald City, swept away in each other and their happiness, before they had learned the horrible truth. He was in his prime, and never had he been so tired in his life.
For one unguarded moment, he found himself wishing to see Jinora smile just one more time.
there are bridges you crossed you didn't know you crossed until you crossed
There were few things Kai genuinely enjoyed anymore, but one of them was coffee at Korra's house. She had been the Captain of the Guard before retiring and giving the position to him, and had been his mentor when he had been training for the job. He could remember his first day of training, Korra remarking how he had a mean right hook. Kai had shrugged, saying he'd have plenty of practice, and it was true: more than once a boy had deserved a punch in the face for saying something about Jinora. Korra's wife, Asami, knew Opal as well, through her engineering, and the BeiFong family had partnered with Future Industries many times for projects like the yellow brick road, and the Emerald City. During his time under Korra's mentorship, he'd become fast friends with both her and her family.
"Uncle Kai!" came a voice from the kitchen. Before he could respond, he was tackled with a hug from a little Polarbear Dog who smiled up at him with shining black eyes.
Kai chuckled softly, returning the hug. "It's always good to see you, Naga." She pulled out of his hug and proceeded to bring him up to speed on the goings-on in the household, including how much she'd grown that week and how many cookies she'd eaten two days ago.
"Naga, your lunch has been sitting on the counter for half an hour," a tall woman with long, black hair and warm, green eyes said, walking in from the kitchen behind her. Asami bent down at eye-level with Naga, and couldn't seem to suppress the smile playing at her red lips as she said in a stern voice, "You need to finish your vegetables this time. Okay?"
Naga pouted and nodded at her reluctantly. "Can I eat next to Uncle Kai, then?" she asked meekly. When Asami nodded, Naga squealed and threw her furry little arms around her neck quickly before running back into the kitchen to retrieve her neglected meal. "Thanks, Mommy!"
Asami laughed as she stood back up, and for a moment looked fondly in the child's direction, before turning to Kai.
"Sorry about that," Asami chuckled. "She really loves seeing you."
"Hey, don't worry about it," Kai replied with one of the few genuine smiles he could manage anymore. "She's a great kid. You and Korra have done really well with her."
Asami smiled appreciatively, before sitting down on the couch opposite him and taking a sip of the coffee before her. "I still can't believe it's already been seven years since we adopted her. They grow up so fast."
Kai simply nodded, taking a quick sip of his coffee. It burned his throat on the way down, but he was so used to feeling nothing he welcomed the sensation. "And how's your company doing?" he asked.
"It's fine," Asami said, "though we've been having a little trouble getting a project off the ground." She sighed, setting her cup down. "I have five blueprints for the remodeling of the Animal Adoption Center ready to be looked over, but I can't seem to get clearance to actually go ahead with it. I mean, I'll take any project the Wizard needs me to take around Emerald City, but the adoption center's in shambles." She shook her head and sighed. "Maybe becoming a mother has made me soft, but I have been trained to look for problems that need to be solved. Right now, that's the biggest one."
Kai slipped his hand into his left pocket, feeling for Jinora's bumblefly comb. Asami's compassion always reminded him of her. Of all the belongings Jinora had left behind, there were only two he couldn't bring himself to return to her family: the comb, and her copy of The Sky Dancers. He had reread the book so many times he was pretty sure he could recite it almost all from memory. It felt like as long as he had the comb and her book, he hadn't truly let go of her. Of what they had.
"So, how has your work been going? Any luck finding her?"
The question stopped him in his tracks. Before he could find the right words to answer, the front door opened loudly and a hand was ruffling his hair.
"Kai!" He was hugged from behind by a strong, dark-skinned woman with short hair.
He almost fell over from the impact. "Korra!" he exclaimed. She always greeted him like that, but it still always surprised him.
Opal had slid in next to him while Korra had been busy pouncing, so he nearly jumped at the sound of her voice. "Sorry we're late!" she said, hugging him (more gently, he observed gratefully). "Korra came to pick me up on time, I just had a hold-up in the lab."
"Normally I would have whisked her away then and there, but who am I to rush someone with a bun in the oven?" Korra said with a cheeky grin. "Besides you know how Bolin is, always worrying about his wife."
Kai nearly spit out his coffee. "Wait, you're pregnant?"
Opal laughed, a little embarrassed. "I wasn't going to formally announce it for a couple more months, but Bolin can't keep his mouth shut." She smiled apologetically. "Among the bunch of us, you're actually the last to know."
"C-congrats," he managed to choke out.
Now knowing that Opal was pregnant, it suddenly struck Kai that they were getting older. Opal's hair was a little more windswept, she was a little taller, with a kinder look in her eyes. Kai wondered how Jinora had changed. Was her tongue just as sharp, her eyes just as beautiful? Or were they sad now?
He wondered, if she hadn't left, or maybe if he had gone with her, if they would be in Opal and Bolin's places now.
His throat went dry.
"Kai, are you alright?" Opal said, her smile gone, her eyes shining with concern.
Kai couldn't lie to them. "Not really… I just - I just need some air, is all." He pushed himself up from the table and went out to the back porch. It was a cloudy day with a cool breeze, and he could imagine Jinora on her broomstick, soaring through the clouds.
He took a deep breath. How was it, after three years without so much as a single word or glance, he was still so hung up on her? Would he just be hopelessly in love with her for the rest of his life?
Kai glanced up at the sky, deciding that he had been out there for long enough, and turned back into the house. He could hear the three women talking, when Jinora's name caught his attention - hardly anyone used her real name anymore.
"I'm just worried about him," Asami was saying. "I mean, it's been three years since she left and he's still searching for her and hasn't let up at all-"
"You never got to see the way he looked at her," Opal said gently. "Love makes people do crazy things. If anyone can find her, it's Kai."
"Maybe she doesn't want to be found," Korra said sadly.
Kai swallowed hard. "Maybe you're right," he admitted, stepping into the room. They all looked sheepish, but Kai waved his hand dismissively. As he took a seat, Opal put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry about Jinora, Kai," Opal said, squeezing his shoulder. Kai managed a weak smile.
"Who's Jinora?" Naga walked in with her plate in her paws and took her seat next to Kai.
The adults paused for a moment, not sure which words to use for the small Polarbear Dog child looking at Kai with wide eyes, chewing her food in the most unassuming way. Kai cleared his throat.
"She's the greatest person I've ever met," Kai answered, his eyes stinging. "But not everyone understands that, so she's hiding from the people who don't understand. So we have to keep her a secret, okay?"
Naga nodded. "Okay," she said seriously. "I promise."
Kai thought of the last time he made a promise with someone: in a cozy private suite with a second bed stuffed in last-minute, between a green girl and a boy who had no idea how much he would love her, and he thought of how they had both broken their promise, in the end. How about a promise that we'll make sure we're not lonely now.
He gave Naga an empty smile and ruffled the kid's hair. "Thanks, kiddo." He pulled the comb out of his pocket and looked at it longingly.
The sparkle of the comb caught Naga's eye. "Oooh, pretty!" she cooed. "Where'd you get that?"
"From a good friend," Kai said, pocketing it again. He didn't want to look up and see the pity in Opal, Asami and Korra's faces. "I'm hoping to give it back to her someday."
