Chapter 11 - The funeral
A few miserable days had passed and it was the day of mums funeral. All I wanted to do was stay in bed all day and not face the world, I wasn't ready to say goodbye for the last time. I go to my wardrobe and pull out a long black dress and place it on the bed, I stand staring at it for a while when Uncle Casey walks past my room dressed In his smart black suit.
"You okay Mads?" Uncle Casey asks with a. Concerned look on his face
"Um yeah sorry, I was in my own little world" I say forcing a smile
"Why don't you go and get your dress on and I'll make you some breakfast" Uncle Casey insists
"Thanks" I say grabbing my dress
"I'll leave you to it" He says closing the door behind him
I put on my dress and quickly brush my hair, I couldn't face doing anything else. I walk out of my room and into the kitchen where everyone was sat waiting.
"Come sit down, I made you your favourite, pancakes" Casey smiles
I go over to the table and sit down and look down at the pancakes, I hadn't eaten properly in days but I still couldn't face it. I pick up my fork and begin to push them around on my plate, I wanted to eat them because Uncle Casey made them but I just couldn't face it.
"It's okay if you don't want them" Uncle Casey says sitting down next to me placing his arm around me
"Sorry" I croak
We all sit waiting till it was time to leave, everything seemed to be happening so fast although I want the funeral to be over, I wasn't ready for my last goodbye.
"The hurst is here"Uncle Kyle announces
"Are you ready?" Dad says walking and squatting down in front of me
I look at dad and take a deep breathe before slowly getting up, he grabs hold of my hand and we walk together outside where the hurst was. As I finally catch a glimpse of the hurst I walk towards it and stand beside it looking through the glass to see the coffin where Mum was laid.
I still couldn't quiet believe that she was in that coffin, the thought of her in that small dark coffin on her own made me feel awful. I just wanted to climb in there with her and tell her it's okay and I was never going to leave her nor forget about her, but I knew I couldn't. I feel a single tear roll down my cheeks, I quickly wipe it away not wanting anyone to notice, until I realise Dad must of. He squeezes my hand tighter
"Its okay" Dad says as he wipes another tear that had escaped my eyes
Dad hold back onto my hand and leads me to the ute, we both get inside and make our way to the church following the hurst.
Brax's POV
As we reach the church I look over to Maddie who was sat quietly in the passengers side, staring at the coffin in the back of the hurst. I could tell she was going to lose it soon, there's only so much a young girl could take. There was so many things I wanted to say but I knew that nothing I said could take the pain away of loosing her mum.
"Shall we go inside" I ask
"I don't know if I can do this" Maddie says looking at me whilst shaking like a leaf
"It's okay, we're get through this"
"I don't think I can, I'm scared Dad"
"I'm here for you, I'm not going anywhere. I will be here for you every step of the way, I will never leave you, okay?" I promise
She was so fragile right now, her small face was stained red from crying and she still had Scarlett's favourite cardigan close to her.
"I'm not ready to say goodbye forever"
"I know, no one ever wants to say goodbye forever, but you've got to think your mum wouldn't want you being upset"
"She's going to miss out on so much, I should of taken her places or done something special for her" Maddie says on the verge of tears again
"She would be proud of you,for everything you have done. So don't for a second doubt yourself" I say firmly
"I miss her so much dad"
I lean over and pull her close to me, I wasn't very good at all this emotion stuff but all I wanted was to be there for my little girl and right now that's all that mattered.
We get out the Ute and walk into the church and sit down, I sit one side of Maddie and Casey sits the other whilst everyone else sits behind. I look around to see that the church was beginning to fill up with old friends, and few people I didn't recognise but it was nice to see a nice turnout for Scarlett.
Maddie's POV
My heart was pounding, I knew that soon I had to get up and do my eulogy for mum. I wasn't sure I couldn't even get out of my seat as my legs where like jelly. For the whole service I hadn't really taken much notice I kept my head down and choose not to listen because if I did I would be a mess and not be able to get up and do the eulogy.
" and now we will here from Maddie, Scarlett's beloved daughter" the vicar announced
I stand up out of my seat and stand frozen on the spot looking at the coffin for a moment it felt like the world had stopped and it was just me and mum.
"You don't have to do this, if you don't want to" Dad whispers
"I do this is what she would of wanted" I whisper back
I walk next to the coffin and run my hand down it, I stay staring for a while before turning around to face everyone.
"For all of you who knew my mum, knew she was an amazing woman. She was strong,independent and had a heart of gold. She would always be helping others even when she could of been doing with some help herself. I have so many amazing memories of my Mum that I will always remember and keep close to my heart. we both did everything together and were so close and had never been apart more than a couple of days. Although sometimes we may have fought it was alway because she had my best interest at heart, she was a one in a million mum and you could never get such a special person in your life like that again" I say forcing a smile
"I can only hope now that she's in a place where she is free of pain and suffering" I croak
"I'm going to miss her so much, I love you mummy" I cry
I walk over to the coffin and lay my head down on top of it and place my arms around it as if I was hugging her again.
"I love you so much mum, I don't want to say goodbye yet, I'm not ready. I need you in my life I don't want you to leave forever" I sob
Casey POV
She was in pieces, a complete mess. Brax didn't even know what to do he sat shocked watching his daughter crumble into pieces. I get up and stand beside Maddie.
"You've got to let go now" I whisper
"I can't" She cries
"Let's go outside and get some fresh air" I say pulling her off the coffin and wrapping my arm around her propping her up
I walk her out of the church and sit her in the ute, I look across to her she looked so fragile, her eyes where blood shot and her whole body was shaking.
"I know your hurting right now but it's going to get better, I promise" I reassure
"You don't know that" She snaps
"I know it can't be easy and you can't think like that right now, I just want you to know I'm here and I understand"
"How can anyone possibly now how I'm feeling right now, I've just said goodbye to my mum forever" She says getting out the door slamming the door behind her
I quickly get out and begin to follow her.
"Maddie stop" I beg
"just leave me alone" she shouts
" I don't want you to be on your own right now"
" well I don't want anyone to be with me, I just want to be on my own and think for myself instead of having all these people around me 24/7 asking me if I'm okay, I can't deal with it anymore" She pleads
