A/N: Fluff! This is pure fluff, and it makes me smile. More fluff to follow as we see the first couple of months of parent flailing. Oh how the fun will be had. :D

Also, baby-proofing the Avengers, something that should probably be explored. Yes?

I don't own The Avengers, Loki, Iron Man, or anything of the like. Just the thoughts inside my head. And taking some personal freedoms with mythology and lore.


"How does one baby proof the Avengers?" Loki asked his brother two weeks later as they walked to the elevator from the lobby of the Avengers Tower.

"There are to be no weapons in certain rooms," Thor started, looking up as he tried to remember Tony's exact words. "No unusual show of strength unless required, no lightning, no target practice, no experiments, and no throwing things. Throwing things could lead to someone getting hit, and either crying, or very angry doctors."

"I fear to see what he has done to the Tower itself," Loki muttered.

"Welcome back Mr Odinson," JARVIS sounded in the elevator. "Would you like me to inform Mr Stark that you have arrived?"

"Oh, please don't, I want to surprise him." Loki realized that he had even missed speaking with JARVIS. "Where is Tony?"

"He's contemplating in the aptly named 'Gender-less' room," Loki raised an eyebrow slightly. "It is the room directly across from yours, sir."

"Thank you JARVIS." The elevator reached the main floor and the doors opened.

"I shall return to my own quarters, brother," Thor told him and smiled as the doors shut. Loki shook his head and headed up the stairs to the bedroom he shared with Tony and looked across the hall. There was a room, painted a kind of emerald green with a very ornate furniture set. Tony had his back to the door and seemed to be lost in thought.

"Should I move the dresser to the other wall?" Tony was trying to figure out the room layout and Loki raised his eyebrows. Stepping inside silently he looked around the room. A dark wood crib, with elaborate carvings, sat against the wall opposite the door with what a changing table next to it. On the next wall was a dresser, that was open and slowly being filled with gender neutral clothes. On the wall opposite that were two rather comfortable looking rocking chairs, while various toys were stacked against the wall by the door.

"That's where it was previously, sir," JARVIS's voice filled the room. "You had decided against that."

"I've already moved it three times, Tony," Steve's voice sounded from one of the chairs. He was rubbing the spot between his eyes. "I don't think that the baby is going to complain until he or she can talk."

"I'm not sure what to do, I've never had to plan for an incoming baby, specially not my own," Tony groaned a little.

"I do not think that the furniture layout will be a life or death situation, sir." Was JARVIS mocking him?

"He is right," Loki agreed and smiled when Tony and Steve whipped around. He laughed when Tony threw his arms around Loki's neck, hugging him close, or as close as his stomach would allow. Tony captured his lips quickly and Loki moaned a little into the kiss. "That is what I think I missed the most about you being gone."

Tony smirked widely. "No other god could take my place." He took a step back and placed a hand on Loki's very large stomach. "And how is the little bundle of Stark?"

"Very anxious to get back home," Loki sighed a little, a smile on his face. Tony took his hand and led him over to the other chair and let him sit down. "Your tiny Midgardian clothes look weird," Loki said as he inspected the room. "But I highly approve of the color of the room."

"JARVIS told me that the red and yellow would keep the child up all night, and I certainly don't want that." Tony leaned back and put his hands behind his head. "How much longer until we start arguing who's going to be getting up to change the diapers?"

"Just a couple more weeks," Loki told him as he rested his head back, closing his eyes. "Unless the good Captain would like to volunteer his services." Steve's eyes widened a little as his face turned a little red.

"And exactly what will we be doing when that magical moment comes?" Tony glanced over at Loki. He was a god, and he was a man. There was no doctor that would know what to do in that situation.

"Yes, that predicament." He sighed a little, having had the same conversation with Frigga. "It will not be pleasant for me. We will have to go to one of your mortal hospitals, and I shall have to give birth under the guise of a female." Tony glanced over and Loki could feel his smirk.

"Can't say that it'll be a bad thing to see that Loki come around again." Loki shook his head. Steve coughed a little and looked away

"I'm going to leave now if you're settled with the layout," Steve pushed himself up and smiled at Loki. "Good to have you back."

Loki sighed a little as Tony dragged him down to the lab again for another ultrasound. He had only been back for a week and Tony was starting to hover again. "I understand that you are worried, but don't you think that three times is a little much?"

"There's no such thing," Tony commented, squeezing his hand a little as they entered the lab.

"If you were having regular check ups like mortals would, you might be considered a high risk pregnancy," Banner spoke up as they entered and Loki raised an eyebrow. "And if that were the case this would almost be normal." He looked up at Loki and smiled a little. "Tony asked me to be here."

"Like you didn't jump at the opportunity," Tony snorted.

"I would be remiss to not be here for something like this," Banner smirked a little and looked back to the screens he was sitting in front of. "I've also been curious to see how your device works," Banner added when Tony pulled out his ultrasound machine as Loki sat down.

"I feel like I might just be here for you two to experiment on," Loki commented.

"Observe," Bruce replied with a smile. "Never experiment." Loki shook his head a little as Tony used the little wand over his stomach, letting it process out a picture.

Tony grinned as the hologram started to appear, and whistled appreciatively. "That is gonna be one good looking baby."

"Baby girl," Bruce added. "Which could possibly be the worst gender with you two as parents." He looked up to see two sets of glaring eyes. "Are you telling me you two didn't think of this?" He was met with silence. "Tony, how many upset fathers have you met in your time?"

"That was back in high school," Tony defended. "And maybe a few back in college."

"What made these fathers so upset?" Bruce continued.

"Well, they shouldn't have been upset," Tony said, trying not to grin like a college freshman. "They're daughters had slept with Tony Stark in his prime. It should have been taken as a compliment, because the girls were rather-" He stopped and Bruce swore that his skin paled a few shades.

"Thank you Doctor Banner," Loki looked at the man. "Now he's never going to let our child out of his sight, or possibly out of this building."

"Like you would be any better," Bruce said with a smile on his face to the god. "Any guy-"

"Or girl," Tony quickly added, his mind still in college modes.

"-that ever came over in hopes of dating your precious baby girl would have Tony sitting there, polishing the arm of his Iron Man suit, and you would probably try to scare him off with illusions." Banner shook his head and looked back at the screen to look through the scan. "And if you two decide to have another, and it's a son, you two will probably train him to be as scarey protective as you."

"This is assuming that any mortal gathers up the courage to want to court her," Loki said. "I'm sure it will be no secret who her father is with her last name, and they will know that to court a Stark is to court with danger from Iron Man."

"This child has no hope for a future," Banner muttered. "Have you two come up with a name-" He stopped when he saw Tony shaking his head quickly. "On the bright side you look like you're about a week out from having a new addition to the Tower," he changed the topic. "She looks about as healthy as I can see from a mortal standpoint."

"So I shall only have to put up with Tony being my shadow for several more days?" Loki asked expectantly. "By the Norns," he sighed a little.

"I'm not your shadow," Tony protested weakly.

"You're a proper mother hen, Tony," Bruce told him. "We're even taking bets to see who freaks out first when Loki goes into labor." He grinned as Tony tried his hardest not to pout.

Steve walked into the kitchen, catching Tony as he was making breakfast. While Loki was back in Asgard, Tony had started to learn how to cook to distract him. JARVIS had suggested it would be a good thing to know with a child on the way.

"Hey Capsicle," Tony greeted without turning around from the two pans on the stove. One crackling with bacon, the other with scrambled eggs. "You usually don't come up from the training room until after I'm done with food."

"Well, I wanted to talk to you actually," Steve sat down at the kitchen island. Tony glanced back at him with a raised eyebrow. "Gotta get a few things off my mind."

"I think the last time you did that we were ready to knock each others heads off," he said, thinking back to how fantastically they didn't get along on the Hellicarrier last year.

"Uh, yeah," Steve scratched the back of his head a little. "That's part of what I've been thinking about." He watched as Tony took the bacon and put them on a paper towel, then opened the over door and put them with other pieces that he was keeping warm. Peeking over Steve saw that there was already a plate of pancakes and waffles in there.

"Just remember who has the spatula, and is making your food," Tony waved the metal spatula in the air.

"I know I wasn't the most supportive when, uh, your, uh," Steve still had a nineteen forties mentality sometimes. "Well, when you and Loki," his hand flapped around nervously.

"Became bedroom partners?" Tony offered, knowing that the Captain's face must be getting red.

Steve coughed a little and continued. "Well, after watching you and Loki I can see that my words were not true."

"Elaborate," Tony smirked with his back to Steve. He was going to relish this moment.

"You don't just fight for yourself." Steve knew this would happen. He had tried to mentally prepare himself for this talk with Tony. "I used to have to look at Iron Man as separate from Tony Stark, but I think I was mistaken. I'm starting to understand this time better now, and admit that I may have made a mistake."

"I gotta say that probably took some courage," Tony nodded a little as he turned to look at Steve. "Thanks, Cap.' Steve nodded once and Tony spied that he was still wringing his hands a little. "What else did you wanna talk about?"

"Well, it was just a thought really," Steve shrugged as he talked, feeling more nervous about this than before. "Mrs Potts niece and nephews call you and Loki Uncle, even though you're not related to their parents, right?"

Tony raised an eyebrow and nodded. "Pepper somehow got me to come to a dinner with her and I met her brother and his wife. They seemed like good people so I let Pepper keep me informed about them." He turned back to shut off the stove as he finished the last of the bacon. "I'd even let Pepper bring the kids here when she was babysitting them. Just kind of started getting closer to them I guess. Stuff happens when you least expect it." Tony shrugged and grabbed a glass of juice he had been drinking while he cooked.

"I was wondering what your daughter was going to call us? The rest of the avengers that is." Tony almost coughed on his juice when Steve had rushed his words out. He would have laughed but could see that Steve was pretty serious about the topic. So he handled in a truly Tony Stark fashion.

Tony around to the other side of the bar, took Steve's hand then got down on one knee and looked up at the quickly reddening hero. "Steve Rogers, will you be our daughters first Uncle?"

Steve was blushing pretty hard and pulled his hand away. "Tony-"

Tony started to chuckle as he stood up. "Sorry, had to. But I'm serious," he shrugged a little as he started getting out plates as he knew that JARVIS would be alerting the rest of the team to food. "I want you to be one of her Uncles. We're not having Godparents because there are too many of you to choose from." Tony looked back at Steve, his face as serious as Tony could get when not in his Iron Man suit. "You're good peoples Rogers, and our kid needs at least one good example in her life."

Steve smiled at Tony and nodded as the sounds of feet could be heard converging on the team kitchen. "I'd be honored Tony."


Tony's eyes shot open when he heard a scream. A decidedly female scream, and one that was in his room. His eyes were wide and he sat up straight looking around, until he felt movement in the bed next to him. Looking over he saw that there was in fact a woman in his bed, but this woman was tall, had long black hair tied back, and what he assumed were green eyes if they weren't screwed shut in pain.

"I didn't think that you would shift so quickly," Tony muttered a little as he turned to check on her.

"I do not think this is the time for you chit chat, Tony. Get me to a damned mortal hospital." Most definitely still Loki. Loki's hands were wrapped around her stomach tightly in pain. Tony leaped from the bed and grabbed the bag that JARVIS had recommended they make, to keep their cover as a mortal couple.

As Tony tried to get Loki up and to the elevator that would take them to the garage, he decided that it was way too early for this. No one should have a baby at three in the morning.