Chapter 11: The Day of Goodness
Summary: Anti-Cosmo is two years old, which for Anti-Fairies is not a very good thing. (There's a lot of jumping around in the beginning, just a heads up)
"In conclusion, if someone didn't know about the alphabet and I was forced to teach them, I would snap the necks of 26 humans and rearrange their limbs in order to make their corpses into the 26 allegedly different letters of the alphabet," Anti-Cosmo said. He was at the front of the classroom with red and black scribbles behind him which were supposed to be a picture of his plan.
Anti-Wanda and Maria started clapping while Blaine looked horrified and Dillan looked actually interested. "That's a great plan," Anti-Wanda said.
"I love alphabet!" Maria said.
"But that's not all!" Anti-Cosmo continued, "To make sure the idiot that doesn't know the alphabet learns it, I'll do it about a hundred thousand more times. Coincidentally enough, that would take care of the entire human race. Fairies would have no reason to go there and it will be ripe for the taking of me! I will be the crowned ruler of the world! All will bow to Anti-Cosmo! Mwahahahaha!"
"Alrighty then, that was quite a presentation, now take a seat. Maria, you're up," Ms. Magister said.
Anti-Cosmo stopped laughing evilly. "But I'm still not done."
"There's more?" Blaine asked looking slightly more horrified.
"Well, there isn't anymore. Anti-Cosmo, sit down or I'll poof you down," Ms. Magister threatened.
"I haven't gone over the correct ways to worship me when I become ruler, or how my future son will be forced to die because I'm unforgiving. You can't just-" Anti-Cosmo started to complain, but then stopped for seemingly no reason. He started talking again, but his British accent was more prominent than usual and his cheeks were suddenly rosier. "I'm deeply sorry, Ms. Magister. I shall do as you wish and take my seat now." Anti-Cosmo smiled and took a seat next to Anti-Wanda. He stopped smiling shortly afterward though. "Wait, I didn't want to say any of that! Why is this happening? I haven't even done anything stupid lately!" Anti-Cosmo said in his normal voice.
"Maria knows," Maria said. "Anti-Cosmo is old."
"I'm not old, I'm only two. You're older than me," Anti-Cosmo said.
"Oh, you're two? Have you ever heard of the terrible twos, or the terrific twos?" Ms. Magister asked.
"No. That sounds like-" Anti-Cosmo's voice changed again, "an absolutely marvelous concept. I would adore it if you enlighten me on it, but if not, that is perfectly adequate as well." He smiled.
"Right. It's when a fairy turns two, they turn evil for a while. It lasts only 12ish hours. Anti-fairies get the opposite effect and turn good, although it does have the anti-fairy delay, so Cosmo has been evil for a while now," Ms. Magister explained.
Anti-Cosmo's smile faded while she was talking. "But I don't want to be good! I can't rule Anti-Fairy World when people have the knowledge that I once was nice! I refuse it!" Anti-Cosmo complained.
"Have fun completely rewriting your DNA then," Ms. Magister remarked.
"I don't know what DNA is, but I remember being two. It was weird," Anti-Wanda said.
"Anti-Fairies are always weird," Blaine mumbled barely hearable.
"So anti-fairies remember it after the fact? Of all the things that I've forgotten, why must this infinitely stain my memory?" Anti-Cosmo whined. "Life is unfair and also terrible. Being nice is-" the anti-fairy froze for a moment then smiled. "-Absolutely marvelous! I wanna be nice forever and ever. Random acts of kindness cost nothing, but bring the greatest reward."
"What's the reward?" Anti-Wanda asks.
"The best reward of all, my dear friend: the reward of being nice!"
"Wait a second, you can't trick me. That was what you had to do to get the reward. The reward can't be the not reward," she said.
"Oh, but it can! And I would never try to trick you. You see, niceness is its own reward. It has unique properties like the number zero, so it is possible," Anti-Cosmo explained.
"Uuuh, hu… What does that mean?" Anti-Wanda asked.
"Well," Anti-Cosmo started.
"Don't," Ms. Magister interrupted. "We're learning the ABC's right now. The many different properties of zero will probably never be taught since you don't need math to be a godparent, but you do need reading I guess."
"Of course. Sorry for the interruption. Please, continue," Anti-Cosmo said and smiled innocently at his teacher.
Ms. Magister knew that she should be grateful that Anti-Cosmo was going through the terrific twos since she got an apology for an interruption rather than complaining about how fundamentally flawed the school system is, but after being his teacher for over a year and a half it, was more off putting than anything. She also knew how overly nice and annoying anti-fairies could be when they're two, so she'd much rather not have to deal with him . Ms. Magister smiled as an idea came to her. "Hey, Anti-Cosmo. You're so good at apologizing right now, aren't you? Well, I'm sure that you've done things in the past that warrants an apology. You have my permission to go be incredibly nice elsewhere. Here, you can even have this if you promise to give it back in nine hours exactly." She poofed up an average sized black starred anti-wand.
"Oh," Anti-Cosmo mumbled. He was smart enough to tell that Ms. Magister didn't want him there, but he was also suddenly nice enough to not want her to be unhappy. "Okay," He said. "And I seldomly swear to return the wand in nine hours exactly. And much thanks for the offer." Ms. Magister handed him said wand.
The first thing Anti-Cosmo did with his new, actually useful wand, was to poof up a tray of lemon squares. "Would you accept a lemon square as a thank you for the wand, the year and a half of quality education, and for just being so great to begin with?"
"Okay," Anti-Wanda said and took some and ate it with her feet.
Ms. Magister stared at the two-year-old. "There's a reason I'm trying to get rid of you."
"Yes, right, sorry, farewell for now, and thank you once more," Anti-Cosmo said. He handed the rest of the tray to Anti-Wanda, which she happily accepted, and poofed out of room 720.
"Cupid, there's a little boy here to see you. He says he has to apologize," one Cupid's baby workforce told his master.
"Um, okay, send him in I guess," Cupid said. He started drinking the coffee in his hands. When seeing Anti-Cosmo appear in front of him he spit the coffee out in surprise. "You?!"
"Greetings God of love; I am Anti-Cosmo," Anti-Cosmo said, speaking fastly, "Although I have never interacted with you in the past because I used to find you overly bright, and love filled, and therefore horrid, but it has come to my attention that when my counterpart became myself for a minute he poisoned you with hate in order to invoke love in your counterpart in order to get me unbanished from Earth. I wanted to thank you for your cooperation and say sorry for putting you through it in the first place. So long." Anti-Cosmo poofed away.
Cupid tilted his head slightly in confusion. "The little boy left," The same baby-like workforce member from before said.
"I see that," Cupid said. He twirled the coffee in its cup then looked at his employee. "And you, find my 'to do' list. It says 'next love day ruin Anti-Cosmo's love life', I need you to change it to 'next love day maybe ruin Anti-Cosmo's love life'."
"Kay."
Charles walked with Carter disguised as a green squirrel beside him. "So this one kid asked if I wanted to play with them, but I can't handle playing, or talking to random people, so I screamed and ran away. That's a normal response, isn't it?" Charles asked.
"Umm… no. How would you ev-" Carter started but he was cut off by a bottle falling in front of them. Charles screamed in fear of the sudden object and jumped into a nearby bush.
"I can't deal with bottles descending rapidly from the sky. I wished you'd go kill it."
Carter sighed. "You didn't need to wish for that, it's against da rules to wish for death, a bottle is already dead, and it's just a bottle with a letter inside."
"What does the letter say?"
"Let's see." Carter cleared his throat and started reading "'Dear Carter Cosma, Sorry for manipulating you. Sincerely Anti-Cosmo.' Speech to text paper, I'm assuming."
Charles came out of the bush. "Oh, okay." He started walking with Carter again.
"Greetings Anti-Cupid," Anti-Cosmo said as he poofed in front of said Anti-God.
"You!?" Anti-Cupid growled at the sight of the anti-child.
"Would it delight you to know you're opposite had a similar reaction to me?" Anti-Cosmo asked.
"What do you want?"
"I want to apologize for technically getting you poisoned, even though it wasn't really me, for taking full advantage of your love for me while it lasted, and getting Anti-Binky to hate you more than he did before. My apologies. Farewell," Anti-Cosmo said and poofed away.
Anti-Cupid rolled his eyes. "Stupid kid. I'll give him something to be really sorry for."
"Then Amleth started saying he wanted to let my blood and I cried," Charles said.
"You know I was there, right?" Carter asked
"Really? Why didn't you do anything?"
"You didn't wish for anything."
"Oh yeah…"
The two walked in silence until another bottle fell from the sky. Since there were no bushes around anymore, Charles jumped backward and got prepared to run. Carter walked up to the bottle and removed the paper from within. "It's for you," Carter said. He poofed into a green bird and handed his godchild the paper, then stood on his shoulder as he read.
"'Dear Charles McBadbat,'" the little boy read, "'sorry for exploiting your feeble human mind. Wait, that wasn't very nice, was it? Does he even know what feeble means? Oh yeah, speaking of which, sorry for making you faint with knowledge undiscovered by humans. At least you're not ignorant anymore. Sincerely Anti-Cosmo'." Charles looked at Carter on his shoulder. "I don't know how to deal with this? Do I reply? Do I feel happy because he apologized or sad because he called my mind feeble and forgot he gave me his vocabulary? I feel more scared and confused than anything. I don't know how to cope with feeling scared and confused. That's two too many emotions."
"Don't worry," said Carter as he poofed the letter away, "he probably thinks I ungranted all of his stupid wishes
"Why didn't you?"
Carter poofed into a squirrel again and jumped off his godchild's shoulder. "Let's just say that there's a lot of synonyms for 'deal'."
Since Charles was only given Anti-Cosmo's vocabulary and not his intelligence, his six-year-old mind didn't get what Carter was implying. "Okay," He said instead of questioning it. They started walking again.
Tannis got shoved out of the town's church. "Begone, you devil vessel!" the priest exclaimed.
Tannis glared at him. "I'll show you I'm right. Fairies are real, and we'll get the proof!"
The priest scoffed and slammed the church doors. Tannis trudged away from the church and a bottle fell in front of her. She lifted it and took the letter out. 'Dear Magic-Truther Lady, I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to say why, though. I'm also not allowed to put down my real name. Sincerely, Cosmo's opposite,' it said. A huge, insane smile spread across her face. "Negmagwaji," she hissed happily. "I knew I found your hiding hole. I will find you."
"Umm, sir…" Anti-Jorgen mumbled.
"What?" Anti-Binky asked impatiently. There were papers all around him.
"Well…"
Anti-Cosmo poofed next to Anti-Jorgen. The scrawny adult anti-fairy pointed to the smiling, rosy-cheeked child. "He wants to apologize…"
Anti-Binky stared at his second in command in silence. Anti-Cosmo ignored his ruler's look. "Greetings Anti-Binky, I'm sorry I tried to take over your job, steal your wand, and assassi-"
Anti-Binky groaned, cutting off Anti-Cosmo. "I don't have time for you terrific two spiel; I have a country to run."
"You're right sir. My apologies," Anti-Cosmo poofed away.
"And I'll deal with you later," Anti-Binky growled. Anti-Jorgen gulped in fear.
Anti-Schnozmo stood by the door to his classroom. He was on the floor since the still growing pile of homework all the other classmates keep throwing on him was weighing him down. Anti-Blonda poofed next to him. "You don't have to do everyone's homework, you know."
"Well, I can't stand up to them. Schnozmo would do that without a second thought," Anti-Schnozmo mumbled. "Maybe you could stand up to them for me."
Anti-Blonda laughed. "No, you bad role model. I came here to give you this," She said and added her homework to the pile. Anti-Cosmo poofed in front of the two of them. "And that's my cue to go," She mumbled and poofed away.
"Let me help you, my dear brother," Anti-Cosmo said and poofed the homework out of his hands.
"I-is that a normal anti-wand?" He asked, sounding scared.
"Indeed. Ms. Magister gave it to me. I have to return it in 7 hours and 43 minutes."
Schnozmo could hear the difference in Anti-Cosmo's voice, and realized that he wasn't smiling evilly, but actually kindly. That was debatably scarier in the anti-teen's mind. "Terrific twos?" He asked.
"Indeed again. I wanted to apologize for trying to steal your wand more times than I can count."
Anti-Schnozmo stared at him, waiting for him to continue. He could apologize for being manipulating, reckless, needy, annoying, or basically anything else, but they just ended up staring in silence.
"Anyway, " Anti-Cosmo broke the silence, "I have more apologies. See ya at home." The anti-toddler poofed away.
Anti-Schnozmo sighed. "He's not very good at being good. I don't think that's a good thing."
~~~the final apology~~~
Cosmo growled and kicked a rock under his feet. It hit a malfunctioning wand that was spewing out static, much to its random fairy owner's dismay. When the projectile collided with it, it was fixed instantly. "Thanks, kid," the fairy called out. The magical toddler growled harder.
His green eyes had dark purple bags under them. He looked furious. His opposite appeared in front of him. "I'm sorry I gave you bad luck once. I regret it every day I live. So long," Anti-Cosmo said. He raised his wand but Cosmo cried out 'no' and pushed his wanded arm down.
"You're not me! You're great at being not nice, and I need to be not nice too!" He said.
Anti-Cosmo was frozen by Cosmo's plea. The terrific twos doesn't get rid of hatred, it just masks it, so Anti-Cosmo wanted as little time as possible with his opposite, but that wasn't working out very well. "Are you proposing that I teach you how to be evil?" the Anti-Child asked. The fairy nodded, even though he didn't know what proposing meant. "I-I can't do that."
"Why not?" Cosmo asked. "I can't do anything right. I want people to be sad, but they thank me! Please, I need to make people sad!"
Anti-Cosmo looked at him. 'He's manipulating me,' he thought. 'That genius who ruined my life by giving me one in the first place wants to torture me in an already grueling time of my life. I can't help anybody be 'not nice' right now, he knows that. He wants me in his powerful little hands, but I'll show him.' "I can't," he repeated.
"Please, not-me, you have to!" Tears formed in his eyes. "I want to be not good! Please!"
A little kid crying can do wonders to a cause. Anti-Cosmo never hated his counterpart more in his life than he did now. Who could ever refuse such a miserable looking face. The anti-toddler put on the best smile he could muster through all his hatred and shrugged. "O-okay… I'll help you..."
Cosmo's emotions did a complete 180, making Anti-Cosmo regret his last words even more. The fairy flew through the air rejoicing. "I'm gonna be not good!" He exclaimed. The excited fairy flew to in front of Anti-Cosmo's face. "What do I do first?"
"Um," Anti-Cosmo mumbled. He never thought about how he would teach someone to be evil. Yes, he did teach Anti-Wanda how to kill various earth creatures, but he was too nice to teach Cosmo that. All he needed was something evil to teach that would still be good when performed. He decided to stall. "What evils can you commit currently?"
"Huh?"
By being a friend of Anti-Wanda, Anti-Cosmo wasn't unused to simplifying his vocabulary, but Cosmo was 'the biggest genius in fairy world'. He was sure that his opposite was lying by pretending he didn't understand, but why? What would this accomplish? One would think it was to trick others into thinking he's an idiot, but nobody else could hear them. Anti-Cosmo got snapped out of his thought by Cosmo waving his hand in front of his face.
"You okay, not-me?"
"Show me how not-good you can be now."
"I can do that," Cosmo beamed and raised his wand. It glowed yellow and a beautiful, bright green flower appeared in Anti-Cosmo's hand. The anti-fairy stared at the plant in his hand as his opposite clenched his fists.
"See," he said as bitterly as his high voice could get, "I can't do not-good good! Everyone would love that. It's our favorite color too."
Anti-Cosmo didn't reply. He hated flowers, especially ones alive and thriving, but that didn't even get close to holding a candle next to his hatred for green. Not only was it Cosmo's favorite color, so he was forced to find it unpleasant, but so many times in his short life had people called him a weirdo just because he was an anti-fairy with green eyes. 'He's toying with me. Torturing me. Unleashing the full force of his vindictive spirit upon me,' he thought.
"What can I do to not be bad at being not good?" Cosmo asked.
"Um, well, maybe," Anti-Cosmo stalled. He wasn't finding anything that was both good and bad, especially since he was distracted by his hatred towards his opposite. "You could use your superior intellect to…" the rosiness drained from his cheeks for a second. "Take over Anti-Fairy World."
Cosmo's bright green eyes sparkled. "Okay!" he said. He lifted his wand as the terrific twos reclaimed Anti-Cosmo.
"Wait-" the anti-fairy started, suddenly caring that it's not nice to overthrow the government, but they already poofed away.
Anti-Cosmo was coughing from the fairy magic as Cosmo looked around. "Wow not-me, Anti-Fairy World looks a lot like Jorgen's house."
Terrified, Anti-Cosmo glared at his counterpart. "Jorgen's house!" he hissed between coughs.
"Yep," Cosmo answered, "I come here a lot. Jorgen says I'm a level four hazard. I used to be level three. I still have no idea what either of those mean, so I guess it means that he loves me!"
'He's flaunting his ever-growing powers to remind me how weak and pathetic I am while simultaneously saying how much Jorgen'll hate me,' Anti-Cosmo thought. 'If he's this cunning, scheming, and unscrupulous at two years old, what horrors do future years have in store? I'll be dumber than a human in a matter of months! Perhaps weeks! Who am I kidding, I'm already dumber than a stupid, sniveling human.'
"HEY JORGEN!" Cosmo yelled at the top of his small lungs. He already forgot that they were supposed to be in Anti-Fairy World. The sudden outburst snapped Anti-Cosmo out of his thoughts. "ME AND NOT-ME ARE GONNA BE NOT GOOD, KAY?"
A thunderous poof erupted all around them. Anti-Cosmo's wand shot up and Cosmo stared at him. "You're not going to leave, are you?" the fairy asked. Tears appeared in his eyes. "Everybody leaves me. You have to stay. I have to be not good, remember?"
"I hate you so much," Anti-Cosmo wined under his breath. Fighting off tears of his own, the young anti-fairy lowered his wand.
Finally, the poof stopped erupting and dissipated to reveal Jorgen von Strangle. "Why are you here Cosmo?" he asked, his voice booming.
"I'm gonna be not good! Not-me is helping," Cosmo said happily. His tears were long gone.
"Terrible twos huh? Would that make you more or less of a threat? Either way, you're no match for Jorgen von Strangle!" Jorgen started laughing triumphantly. "You see, it's funny because I'm great!"
"Am I great?" Cosmo asked.
"No, I hate you," Jorgen said. He then turned his attention to Anti-Cosmo. "And you, you pathetic Anti-Fairy, I hate you too."
Anti-Cosmo stared blankly at him with eyes widened in fear. The anti-fairy wasn't even bobbing up and down while he floated, he was frozen in the air.
Jorgen could recognize terror when he saw it, so he decided to mess with the kid while he still could. The leader of Fairy World laughed and pointed his giant wand at the anti-child. It glowed.
"You know, an Anti-Fairy in Fairy World is illegal, punishable by an infinite lifetime in prison," Jorgen said.
"No, it isn't. It used to be 3 billion years ago, but then got repealed since the opposite wars ended and it was part of the compromise. However, Fairy World has made many small laws that they ignore if their fellow fairies break, but if an anti-fairy breaks it, they get thrown into jail. Hundreds of anti-fairies suffered through the unfair treatment of bias fairies, so as a collective species we stopped going to Fairy World altogether. Going here is frowned upon by both fairies and anti-fairies, but it's not, nor ever can constitutionally be, a law," Anti-Cosmo explained. He smiled nervously. "The gift of knowledge is great, isn't it?"
Jorgen raised an eyebrow at the anti-toddler. He was going to say something, but he was interrupted by Cosmo trying to make his adorable laugh sound evil.
"I'm gonna be not-good to you, Jorgen! Watch this!" Cosmo exclaimed. He raised his wand, which glowed, and a pink cloud appeared around a nearby vase. When the cloud dissipated, the vase was polished, dusted, and all around much better than before. He stuck his tongue out at the vase, then crossed his arms. "I wanted it to be in a lot of pieces," the green fairy complained.
"Oh, right. That's what I was doing," Jorgen said. His wand stopped glowing just so he could point it at the ceiling. It started glowing again. "Tell your mother to watch you better."
"No," the young fairy refused bitterly.
Jorgen ignored Cosmo and turned his attention back his opposite. "And you, stay out of Fairy World. It would be a shame if something so small gets thrown in jail. I'll let this be punishment enough, for now," Jorgen said. His humongous wand glowed brighter and Anti-Cosmo winced in anticipation. With a mighty poof, the pair of opposites were gone from Jorgen's house.
They reappeared in Cosmo's house. Anti-Cosmo was on the floor gasping for air between coughs and Cosmo floated, arms still crossed, beside him.
"Oh, Cosmo, Darling! I was worried sick!" Cosmo's mom exclaimed and she hugged her son. He angrily poofed out of her grasp.
"Hugging is not not good mommy, and I need to be not good. Right, not-me?"
Anti-Cosmo didn't respond.
"You brought an Anti-Fairy home!" Cosmo's mom yelled. "Cosmo, you can't do that! Go to your room!"
"NEVER!" Cosmo yelled back. He poofed away, but the cry of frustration from Cosmo's room showed that he wasn't successful in his rebellion.
"And anti-fairy, you stay away from my son, you hear! He can't be corrupted by you and your anti-fairyness. I know your kind, your all the same," Cosmo's mom lectured. She continued to tell Anti-Cosmo about how he and his race were ruining everything and how the worlds would be a better place without them. "Now go poof away," She concluded.
"Yes ma'am," Anti-Cosmo mumbled in reply. His wand glowed blue and he teleported to Cosmo's room, since he did make him a promise.
"It's not fair, not-me," Cosmo grumbled. His face was in a pout as he sat on the edge of his bed. "All I want to do is be not good, but I can't. Am I just too good?"
"T-too good?" Anti-Cosmo mumbled.
Cosmo smiled slightly. "I guess being too good to be not good is a good thing. Being nice is nice, isn't it, not-me?"
Anti-Cosmo scoffed. "Niceness," he hissed. "Niceness isn't nice, what's nice about it? People don't care when your nice, they don't care about anything. You could show up to someone, with only the goal of expressing your sorrow you possess because of past wrongdoings and what is given in return? Manipulation, mind games, constant reminders of your inferiority, the continual burning pain of fairy magic that surpasses even the first touch of iron, an earful of why your whole species is trash and for what? For the satisfaction of being 'nice'?" the anti-fairy looked at his wand and small tears formed in his eyes. "I just wanted to be nice, but I'm not even competent enough to do that. I can't take over a whole world; I can barely even fly. Even if I think I'm getting better, it's probably all lies. I'm just useless anti-fairy world garbage that's a burden to the universe."
"Hey, you're crying," Cosmo observed. "Did I make you cry?"
"Of course you did! You ruined my life by giving it to me! I never wanted to be born; I never asked for an opposite who's smarter than anything conceivable! Intelligence is the most valuable substance anyone can have, and you went and hogged it all up! You ruin everything! I hate you!"
Cosmo shifted his gaze to the floor. Anti-Cosmo suddenly felt really guilty. 'That wasn't nice, you idiot. You have to be nice,' he thought. "Sorry," the anti-child mumbled as he wiped the tears away. "I didn't intend to yell at you."
Cosmo looked at his counterpart with a huge smile on his face. "If I made you cry, then your not happy. Being happy is nice, so by making you not happy it was not nice! I was not nice, not-me!" the young fairy rejoiced. He started flying around the room. "I'm not too good to be not good! This is the happiest day of my life!" Cosmo suddenly stopped flying and rubbed his eyes. When he removed his hands, the darkness under his eyes was gone. "Well, that was fun! Thank you, not-me."
"Your welcome," Anti-Cosmo barely audibly replied. He lifted his wand and poofed away from his opposite and toward the school. He was floating in front of Ms. Magister in the otherwise empty classroom.
"You're early," Ms. Magister said.
"Yes, may I please return the wand despite that?" Anti-Cosmo asked.
His teacher shrugged. "I don't see why not. You just have to do one thing for me: break it."
"Break it?" Anti-Cosmo questioned.
"Yep. It destroys the wand's ability to make magic," She explained.
Anti-Cosmo knew that before she said it, he just didn't know why she would want it broken. He still obliges without any further questions and hands the two halves, sparking at the break with anti-magic, to Ms. Magister. She gave back his bright blue rattle. "Have fun flying home," she said.
"Thanks," the anti-fairy mumbled. He poofed as far away as his now weak magic could.
Anti-Schnozmo poofed into his brother's room. "So, terrific twos, that's exciting. Is it still going?"
Anti-Cosmo didn't respond, he just stared at the floor from where he was sitting in the corner of his room.
His brother could tell that Anti-Cosmo was still being 'terrific' because of his cheeks, so he said "You know, it's rude to not answer questions."
"No it's not exciting. Cosmo ruins everything," Anti-Cosmo mumbled.
"Wanna talk about it?"
Without hesitation, the younger anti-fairy started telling the events of the day with an abundance of detail. About halfway through his story, his voice lowered slightly and his cheeks darkened. "I had useful magic in my hands! Yeah, it couldn't get to Earth, but it was still infinitely better than this pathetic thing and I broke it! Just because Ms. Teacher told me to. I bet she made me do that just so I wouldn't bug her about getting the wand. I hate her," he finished.
"What order did you even use to give the apologies?" Anti-Schnozmo asked. That question was in his mind near the beginning of the story, but he didn't ask.
"Well, I didn't interrupt the people in school until later, but besides that, I went in the order of people I hate the least to the greatest. I already had a list of all the people I've met and cared enough to get an opinion on in that order, so it just made the most sense to do it in that order and just exclude all the ones that I hate but haven't done anything to yet. Although it was slightly inefficient, my brainwashed mind didn't care."
"You made a list of hatred? Can I see it?" Anti-Schnozmo asked.
"No."
"Why not? I probably heard half of the order from your story anyway, why can't I see where the other two people you know land?"
"First of all, I know fifteen more people than the fifteen I've told you about, not two. I'm not that unpopular. And you can't see the list since then you'd know where you fell on my preferences, and I don't want you to cry about how drastically low your name is. All you know is you're my favorite of the school goers I associate with and haven't done anything to. You may know that you rank above Cosmo and Mum, but that's not a hard bar to pass."
Anti-Schnozmo smiled. He had a pretty good guess that he was the second favorite, only passed by Anti-Wanda, so he thought that maybe Anti-Cosmo had another reason for not showing him.
"Well, at least I never have to be 'terrific' again," Anti-Cosmo said.
"Wait, you've never heard of the friendly fives?"
Anti-Cosmo looked at his brother in worry. "It happens all over again at five?!"
"Esrouc fo," Anti-Schnozmo replied
The younger anti-fairies look quickly turned into a glare. "This is why you're so low on my list."
"No," Anti-Schnozmo said, "this is." He messed up Anti-Cosmo's hair then quickly poofed away.
Anti-Cosmo hissed at his now gone brother as he fixed his hair. "I'll get you back for this!" He yelled and tried to poof after him.
A/N: I'm bad at ending stories. Also, it's been a while. School just ended and with the new-found free time I finished this. The chapters may come out fast now, who knows. This chapter was more focused on world/character building and foreshadowing than usual, so what do you think of it? Future chapters probably won't have as much. Review your thoughts and I'll happily read them. The picture, like usual, will change back. Till next time.
