Disclaimer: We don't own the characters, they're not ours. Rhys is though. And even though he's not Ranger...he sure is nice to look at.
Illusions
Chapter 11
Please God, let him be alright. I silently prayed as I watched the lights of Miami draw closer and closer. Please don't take him away from me now.
Mesmerized, I stared blankly out of the hospital window as the rain pelted against it. Whenever I thought about it, I'd always associated sunshine and bright skies with Miami. But it had been raining since I had arrived at the hospital.
As if the weather reflected the color of my soul, it was dark, dreary and cold. I watched intently as a single drop of water wound its crooked trail down the window pane. A drop fell onto my hand. I was puzzled at first because I thought the rain would feel cold. This was warm. Then I realized it wasn't the rain, but my tears. Ranger was dying. My world was falling apart. I had never felt more helpless and alone than at this moment.
Leaning my head against the window pane, I closed my eyes as my mind replayed the memories of the last few hours . . .
"Before you go in, Ms Plum, there is something you need to know."
"What?" I snapped. I needed to see Ranger. I needed to tell him how I felt. There wasn't anything else I needed.
"Mr. Manoso is in very critical condition. It's only because of the excellent response of his team that he survived the journey to the trauma center. His wound was very grave and he has lost a lot of blood. I'm surprised he has held on this long. You need to prepare yourself."
"Prepare myself?" I said softly, "Prepare for what?"
Taking a deep breath, I looked closely at him and asked, "And just who the hell are you anyway? I was told Dr. Manoso was handling his brother's case."
"Ahhh, I'm afraid he was removed by the Chief of Staff. Tomas was quite distraught over his brother's condition. We felt that it was best he be removed."
Then, drawing himself up to his full height, he haughtily added, "My name is Dr. Stetson. I'm a surgeon from New York and my credentials are impeccable. I happened to be in Miami for a conference. Dr. Long asked me to step in and provide Mr. Manoso with the best possible care."
He paused, glancing at the chart in his hand and then looked back at me. His eyes were a clear crystal blue. But they were flat, cold and sterile like the walls that surrounded us. I shivered as I looked at him and thought, "There's no compassion in this man."
"As I was saying, Mr. Manoso is critical. Medically speaking, we've done all we can for him, but I'm afraid it hasn't been enough. The odds are stacked against him.
"I've asked that his family be called in to say their goodbyes. I was told you were closest to him. I'm asking you to please make it brief to allow the others an opportunity and to allow Mr. Manoso to rest as much as possible."
Volatile emotions seethed and brewed beneath the surface as I glared back at Dr. Stetson and said, "I can assure you that I have Ranger's best interests at heart. I love him. I love him very much.
"As for saying goodbye, that's something we never do. Ranger has never said good bye to me. I'm not saying good bye to him…ever. He'll beat your odds, Dr. Stetson. Count on it."
I turned and made my way into Ranger's room. Pausing in the doorway, I felt my heart stutter before it resumed beating as I looked at him laying there, pale and lifeless, unmoving…so very still. Holding my breath, I waited to see if he was breathing. I blew out a sigh of relief as I heard the steady whoosh of the respirator going up and down. I made my way slowly to the bed, almost afraid to see what lay before me.
Tears welled up in my eyes, as I saw the man I loved so deeply fighting for his life. He looked so young, almost innocent. Surrounded by the sterile white sheets and pillows, his long silky black hair framed his almost angelic face. He was wrapped in a jungle of wires and tubes, unable to breathe on his own. A tube was taped to his mouth as the machines around him worked to keep him alive. The steady slow beep of his heart monitor reassured me that he was alive.
But he looked as if he'd already slipped away. Oh God, no. I felt the bile rise into my throat. For the first time, I realized that damn doctor might be right…he might not pull through this time. I grabbed his hand and brought it up to my lips, kissing it gently. I held it to my cheek for a long moment as I willed my life force into him.
I felt the tears start to fall as I slowly sank into the chair beside his bed. Holding his hand in mine and slowly tracing circles in his palm, I began to quietly speak. I had so much to say, so much to tell him. Would I have another opportunity? Would there be enough time for me to let him know of my feelings?
"Ranger . . . I love you," I whispered.
There…I thought that would be scary, admitting it out loud like that. But it wasn't. It just felt right.
"I'm so scared. And the thing is I don't have you to turn to this time. I need you to get better. The doctor told me that you're not doing very well."
My voice cracked and I stifled a sob as I added, "He said that I need to tell you goodbye. The problem is…I can't do that.
"I can't imagine my world without you in it. I'm not sure I can make it without you. Oh God, baby, please wake up," I sobbed.
Laying my head down on the bed, I tightly clutched his hand to my heart. I never wanted to let him go. I was afraid if I lost contact, I'd lose him forever. I closed my eyes. As I listened to the whirring of the machines, I held on for all I was worth.
Several minutes later, that's where Tank found me. He lifted me up and carried me back into the waiting room. Cradling me in his arms like a small child, he wrapped his arms around me. He held on tighter and tighter as I started to shake, waves of tears streaming from my eyes.
Sobbing uncontrollably, I began to bang my fist against his rock hard chest, screaming Ranger's name over and over until I was finally overcome with exhaustion. Tank gently brushed back my hair and I felt a wet cloth wiping the remaining tears off my face. I closed my eyes and leaned closer into his arms. My remaining strength was offered up in silent prayers of hope that the man of my dreams would hold me once again.
Startled by the touch of a hand on my shoulder, I blinked as it brought me back into the present. I turned and looked into the sad eyes of Ranger's twin. Sighing softly, I held out my hand. Rhys took it and pulled me into his arms as he whispered over and over just how sorry he was.
"How is he?" I asked.
"About the same. Kim wanted me to check and see if you would come home with us."
I shook my head no.
"He'd want you to get your rest, Steph."
"No," I said firmly. "He's never left me when I was in trouble. I'm not leaving him now.
"I'm afraid if I do..." I couldn't finish my sentence as I began to sob once again.
"Shhhhh..he's holding his own. There's been no upgrade in his condition, but no downgrade either.
"Are you sure you won't come home with us?" Rhys pleaded again as he rubbed his hands up and down my back.
"No…I'm not leaving until he wakes up," I said firmly.
"Okay, then," Rhys said. "Call me if there is any change. Tank, Bobby and Lester just stepped down to the cafeteria. They'll be back in a minute.
"Kim and I are dropping Woody and Hal at the airport. They need to get back to Trenton."
A dark pair of eyes studied me. They reminded me of the eyes that I wanted to see staring back at me once again. I asked Rhys, "What about the rest of the guys?"
"Gentry took Rae home. She lives here in Miami. Tiina and Tomas are crashing in the doctor's lounge. Tomas wants to be close in case anything happens.
"He's a little miffed at me right now, so I can't get a lot of information from him. But hopefully in time, I'll be able to mend those bridges too.
"I've made so many mistakes, I just hope . . ." Rhys' voice trailed off as tears welled in his eyes.
I took his hand in mine and squeezed it tightly. "They love you. All of them. When everything gets back to normal, there'll be a chance to make your peace then. I'm sure there will be a homecoming like you have never seen before."
Rhys smiled tightly and took me into his arms, hugging me close to him. He kissed me on the top of my head and walked toward the door.
Turning back, he looked at me and added, "Call me as soon as you hear anything."
"I will," I said. Sinking back down on the couch, I closed my eyes and hoped I would dream of happier times.
Woody and Hal loaded their carry on bags into the overhead compartment of the airplane. Before sitting down, Hal reached into his bag and rummaged around trying to find his Gameboy. Instead, he pulled out a woman's handbag with a red lacy bra snagged on the side of it.
"Oh shit," he whispered.
"What?" Woody said, looking up at him.
"I got Stephanie's bag by mistake. This is all her stuff in here. Her wallet, her cell phone...er...um...birth control pills, her bra and panties."
"Man, you better high tail it back to the hospital and put that shit up. You don't want the boss' woman's business displayed for the entire world to see. What the fuck is your problem?"
Hal blushed as he crammed the items back into the satchel. He mumbled something to Woody about seeing him back in Trenton. Then he explained to the stewardess that there was a problem and he'd have to take a later flight. With a deep sigh, Hal departed the plane and headed back to the hospital to return Stephanie's bag to her.
"Steph... Steph...wake up." I felt my shoulders being gently shaken.
"The doc is on his way. Something has happened," Tank said as his heart nearly broke at the words. He knew. He'd been down this road before. He knew what the doctor was coming to tell them.
Tank choked back his grief and helped his best friend's love to her feet. He would be responsible for her now. Ric would want that. Tank would make sure she was well-taken care of.
I struggled to open my eyes. The moment I met Tank's eyes, I knew Ranger was dead. My world started spinning like an out of control merry go round. From a distance, I heard someone scream with grief. It was a cold, blood curdling scream so full of sadness and pain, my heart exploded with grief. Moments later, I realized it had been me.
Detached, I watched as the scene unfolded before me. It was as if I was on the outside looking in. Tank, Bobby and Lester circled around me, shielding me from the onslaught of nurses scrambling into the room as each one tried his best to offer me his comfort and condolence.
A cold, harsh voice jerked me back to reality. I turned and looked into the steely blue eyes of Dr. Stetson.
"Ms Plum, I'm sorry for your loss. I tried to prepare you. Mr. Manoso was very weak. He was too weak to recover. We did everything we could, but he just wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry but he passed away, a few minutes ago. We've contacted his brothers, they should be here shortly."
Before anyone knew what was happening, I reached out and slapped him.
"MY RANGER IS NOT WEAK!!" I screamed.
"He's not dead. He's not dead," I kept mumbling as I felt myself crumble into a million pieces. As I sank down onto the floor, I hoped and prayed that it would just swallow me, that it would make this nightmare go away.
Lester dropped down beside me and pulled me into his arms. I felt him start to shake as sobs racked his body, as the loss of his brother over took him. Tank and Bobby soon joined us. Sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by the safety of their arms, we grieved for the man we had all known and loved.
