Christmas 2017 is just around the corner folks. Booth and Aubrey have decisions to make. How will they go about it?


Booth was in his office working on the February 2018 budget when he got an email alert. Expecting it to be from Bones or the lab, he instead before annoyed when he saw it was from Reggie's son, Dan. He almost deleted it, but his curiosity got the best of him, so he clicked on it.

Booth:

I just want to say that Aggie and I sincerely apologize for upsetting you like we did last week. Mom has been pretty upset about the estrangement between you two and we wanted to help. Obviously, it made things worse as you two are now not speaking. Please accept our apologies.

Mom has been trying to call you because she would like to resolve this conflict, but you are ignoring her and that's not right. You have a right to be angry, but you need to have the maturity to talk to her. Please do so as you two should settle things before the holidays. You are our stepbrother of course.

If you choose to not accept Mom's invitation to Tahoe on New Year's Eve, Aggie and I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas.

Dan.

"Obviously you didn't learn anything from when my wife told your self-righteous ass off last week." Booth growled at the screen. "Easy to have an opinion up in your ivory corporate law firm tower when you had my mother most of your life and I didn't. Bite me."

The agent knew it wasn't the best idea, but it would make him feel better. Pulling up his Gmail account online, he copied the message text into a new message before finishing his reply with the following closer:

My relationship with my mother is none of your business. My wife has told you once and now I'm giving you a final warning to butt out or next time, I'll come to your fancy law office and kick your sanctimonious butt in front of your colleagues.

Hitting 'send', he smiled as he pictured the look on Dan's smug face falling in shock. Bones would call it immature, but he was tired of his mother's stepchildren hounding him and his family. "Aggie is tolerable but I've never liked that holier than thou asshole."

Hearing a buzz, he looked at his phone and his moment of triumph died as his mother sent another text.

Seeley, I need to talk to you. I know you're angry but please…let's settle this.

His mother had left several messages on his voice mail and sent text messages asking to speak to him over the last several days. Sure, he could give in but knowing her he would just be hearing another sob story about how she was a victim and that he was being rude. No, he wasn't giving in just yet. He'll come to her when he's ready.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

In an interrogation room on the other side of the 4th floor, Aubrey and Karen stared down Evan Masters' killer to get a confession.

"So why did you do it, Rafael?" Aubrey asked.

"Do what?" The chef replied in an annoyed tone as he nursed his arm in a sling. "I was shot early this morning while leaving my restaurant and I was there when your agent banged on my door and told me to come with them down here. If anything, you should be apologizing to me. Frankly, I want to know why you aren't out there trying to find Evan's killer? Whoever killed the man I love shot at me, too. Do your damn jobs!"

"I'm sorry…I guess I should have said at the beginning that we know who shot you, Rafael."

Rafael looked stunned for a moment before stuttering. "That…that's good. Who was it?"

"We'll get to that in a minute, Mr. Riccardo." Karen said before turning to Aubrey. "But Agent Aubrey needs you to answer his question."

Impatient, the chef looked back at the SAC. "What are you asking me, Agent Aubrey?"

Deciding to knock the arrogant man off his pedestal a bit, Aubrey meandered. "Well, we not only found out who shot you this morning, but who also killed your boyfriend."

Surprised, the chef recovered quickly. "Thank God. Now, was it that bitch of an ex-wife or was it that jealous asshole soon to be ex-husband Ken? He couldn't let go so Evan and I could be happy. I hope you throw the book at him."

"Oh we will, but it was neither of them, Rafael because you're the one who killed Evan." Aubrey slid across a paper to the chef. "This is a lab report on the stab wounds Dr. Saroyan found during her autopsy. The blade was a perfect match to your missing butcher knife that we found stuck behind the dumpster outside of your restaurant."

"Someone broke into my kitchen?" Rafael looked concerned. "How?"

"We'll get to that, but there was something else Dr. Hodgins found when he compared all the material found on the blade." Aubrey played with his pen. "There was food along with odds and ends on it, but also significant traces of truffle oil."

"You can find that at any specialty shop. This is bullshit." The chef slid the paper back at Aubrey and Karen before gripping his arm which was in a sling. "I didn't kill my lover, Agent Aubrey. We were very, very happy together."

"You're a liar, Rafael." Karen said, pulling out phone records. "Right before he died, Mr. Masters made several phone calls to his estranged husband, Ken. Ken didn't return the calls, and he thought he deleted the voicemails until today when he found them while deleting things off his phone."

Opening her laptop, the profiler started the file, which had several sounds in the background. "Kenny, I love you…I know Rafael said that we were staying together but we're not. I told him yesterday that I'll never feel for him what I feel for you. I love you…I want our marriage to work…I'm so sorry for…hurting you…hopefully someday you can forgive me…I'm heading to Rafael's restaurant right now to get my stuff before I find a hotel to stay at. I love you, Kenny…"

Aubrey waited for her to stop the recording. "This was the last call Mr. Masters made before he died, which was about an hour before Dr. Saroyan's estimated time of death. It's interesting because you told us that you hadn't heard from him at all on the day he died because you were in Charlottesville in a cooking seminar. However, when we double checked with the hotel, no one saw you after you checked in."

"That means you have no alibi for your boyfriend's murder." Karen chimed in.

"But I was shot at!" Rafael looked desperate. "Obviously whoever tried to kill me killed Evan, too out of jealousy."

"Rafael, you're a good-looking man but you got dumped by a man fifteen years your senior because he wanted to reconcile with his spouse. That had to really suck and I'm sure it really bruised your very active ego." Karen stated. "We think you called him to meet you, saying you had his stuff."

"When he arrived at the restaurant, you were the only there since it was closed that night. When he arrived, you tried to talk him into staying…" Aubrey said before being interrupted by Karen.

"Maybe even tried a spur of the moment 'hide the salami' , either as a last ditch effort to reconcile or as a goodbye…"

'Ugh, Karen…' Aubrey fought to keep his face straight. "…but he wasn't interested in you, just in getting his stuff. You got so enraged that you stabbed him repeatedly with the knife that we found out in the dumpster."

"You can't prove it was my truffle oil."

"Yes we can." Aubrey smirked. "Your truffle oil is handmade by you with white truffles, the same ones you bragged out when I first interviewed you at your kitchen. You have a distinct style of measurements of each item that you use in making it and its makeup matches what was on the knife. You killed him, Rafael, and we've got you."

"The real killer tried to kill me too with a .25 caliber!"

"How did you know it was a .25 caliber?" When the chef was silent, Aubrey pulled out another report. "I know you know because you used it to shoot yourself to throw suspicion off you. This was the last call Mr. Masters made before he died. We did some research and found out that you own a similar gun. While you were at the restaurant, we got a warrant and found the gun. We got the results right before coming in here and the bullet came from your gun, Rafael."

The chef began to sweat before he spilled his guts. "It wasn't just me! She promised me that it was just a phase and that he was coming back to me. She told me how he always bragged about our sex life and how I was the love of his life…she told me…that bitch owns a .25 caliber, too."

"Who told you Rafael?" Aubrey inquired.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

"You set all this in motion, didn't you?" Karen asked thirty minutes later in another interrogation room with Aubrey and their interviewee.

"He left me!" Andrea Masters screeched. "That bastard was supposed to always love me but he left me for another man! He was my world….my heart…and he didn't care that he destroyed me. Oh, he always said how sorry he was for how things turned out. When that bastard asked me to be friends with him and his male whore, he pushed me too far…"

"Evan, Ken, and you?" Aubrey asked. "I bet that would be a slap in the face."

"It was! I did everything for him…I was understanding when he needed time to himself…I didn't divorce him when he said he was bisexual…I had even forgiven him for an affair he had with a male colleague of his who sent him stupid letters begging my husband to leave me, but I hid those. He was my husband!"

The ex-wife's last comment struck a nerve in Karen. "You manipulated their relationship just to keep him?"

"Of course, I did. He was mine. I almost had him back with me…then he met Ken. Next thing I know, he wants a divorce. Then, before the damn ink is dry on the papers, they ran off and got married because same sex marriage became legal in DC. I thought it was just a phase…and when I found out that they separated, I was so happy until I realized that he was dating another man! I couldn't get this one to stay away from my husband, so I decided to use the stupid asshole to destroy Evan's marriage instead."

"You asked him to murder your ex?"

"No, I just wanted Evan's marriage destroyed. That way, he would come back to me…that's all that I had ever wanted. Rafael was only supposed to make Ken divorce Evan…"

The profiler began to feel sick. "…and then he would come to you for comfort…and one thing would lead to another…"

"Yes!" The older woman said passionately. "Then he would see that we were meant to be together and he wasn't a homosexual. You get it!"

"But he didn't divorce Ken and he was murdered instead. Is that why you were going to kill Rafael?" Aubrey asked. "You figured out what happened and were going to kill him, but couldn't do it, could you?"

The woman merely nodded. "I was so full of…rage. I found the pistol Evan got me years ago and went to his restaurant about 4:30 this morning. I pointed it at him, but he laughed at me before knocking it out of my hands. I grabbed it and ran away. He killed my Evan! I just wanted him to divorce Ken and come back to me!"

Aubrey saw the woman burst into tears but he felt no sympathy for her. "Well, you may have intended for Evan to just have a broken heart, but your anger caused you to lose the man you loved permanently, Ms. Masters."

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I loved Evan…I just wanted him back with me like it was supposed to be…"

"As much as you profess it, you didn't love your ex-husband, because if you really did, you would want him to be happy because that is what love is about…not about possession." Aubrey spit out. "I would love to charge you with conspiracy to commit murder, but under the law, you committed no crime."

"It seems, Ms. Masters that your punishment is worse than anything the courts could charge you with even if they could." Karen said.

Before Aubrey could contribute, he heard Genny through his earpiece. "Boss, Samir Vashir is in your office. I told him you were in an interrogation, but he said he would wait to speak with you."

Aubrey didn't want to deal with the man, but his curiosity got the best of him. "We're done here, Ms. Masters. I'll have an agent take you home where you can cry your crocodile tears."

Karen followed Aubrey out of the room, surprised. After the door closed, she stopped Aubrey. "It's interesting that Samir wants to speak to you."

"I really don't care why, Karen."

The profiler saw the tightened jaw. "You seem pretty irritated Aubrey. I heard that Jessica visited you earlier—"

"I'm not having a very good day, Karen and the last thing I want to do to confide in you. We've had a wonderful professional relationship the last few days. Let's keep it that way."

Karen watched Aubrey storm off. The fight the two had in his office was all over the FBI and the happiness she thought she would feel was instead emptiness. Furthermore, the interview with Andrea Masters made her put her relationship with Aubrey, including her actions of the last several months, in perspective. More and more, she didn't like what she was seeing.

Shaking off her unease, Karen walked away to International Operations. She needed to go over a profile with Charlie Burns before meeting again with Agent Bower in Major Crimes.

'They would work it out…of course they would.'

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

Aubrey took his time getting back to his office, stopping for a cup of coffee. As he made his way back to Major Crimes, he muttered under his breath, "I am not a hypocrite…I am not a hypocrite…this stuff will blow over…I know it will…Jessica doesn't hold grudges…I'll apologize once I get my shit together…"

Sauntering into his office, he saw the translator sitting in on the small table in the far end of his office. "Samir…what can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Jessica." Samir stopped to smell the room. "Why does your office smell like fish?"

"I spilled my lunch earlier, now get to the point about Jessica." Aubrey barked, preferring to not remember the tuna melt he wore earlier.

"When I ran into her at the diner this morning and apologized for what I said to her on Monday, she was glowing. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize it was because of you, Aubrey." Samir thought about what he wanted to say. "I love her, but I'm would rather have her in my life as my friend than as an enemy, because the truth is, she's always loved you. I mean, it was obvious…every day we were in Scotland together, she waited to hear from you…a phone call…a Skype…anything in response to the letter she wrote you before leaving the US."

'Letter? What letter?' Aubrey needed more information, so he remained silent.

"Of course, each day ended with no message from you and it broke her a little inside. Two months and not one word. How could you just blow her off like that after she poured her heart to you?"

Aubrey knew he had to ask the question to find out what was going on. "I don't know what you're talking about, Samir."

"Bullshit, you don't. You stand there all innocent, but she wrote that letter to apologize for hurting you, hoping that someday you two could work out your problems so that you could be together again, and expressed how much she loved you. She said that you were different from any other guy she had met, that she saw a future with you and…that you got her in a way no one else ever had. She left her contact information for you to call her so you two could talk, but nothing. What kind of asshole does that?"

Sensing there was something he was missing, Aubrey tried defending himself. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah I do. She was devastated when you didn't even send her an email. Yeah, I was able to get her to date me, but…I was just a rebound, even if neither of us acknowledged it. I saw how crushed she was after we ran into the two of you at Founding Fathers last September. I think…she was still hopeful for the two of you, but she saw how easily you had moved on and realized she had to do the same. I was just the idiot who didn't want to see how much she still loved you, even though I don't think you deserved her love. I still don't."

Panicking more than ever as he realized the misunderstanding, Aubrey was determined to defend himself. "You don't even know me, Samir."

"Yeah, I do. Instead of being a man and talking to her, you cruelly ignore her after she pours her heart out to you because you're pissed off that she broke up with you. When you saw that she wasn't going to wait around for you anymore to quit pouting, you punished her by throwing that Karen lady in her face. So what made you decide that Jessica is worthy to be around again? Never mind…I don't want to know."

Samir picked up his coat. "I don't think you deserve a second chance, but she says you're a good man, so I'm choosing to be happy for her. Now, I'm warning you. If you hurt Jessica again like you did by blowing off her letter and her feelings, I'll come from Canada and make you sorry that you hurt my friend. Treat her right, Agent Aubrey. Jessica deserves someone who can give all of himself to her and appreciate the woman that she is. That had better be you."

The translator walked out of the office, not noticing Karen standing nearby in the shadows. Peeking in, she saw Aubrey, pale as a ghost sitting at his desk before putting his head in his hands.

"What the hell is he talking about? What letter did she write me?" She heard him say to himself before making a hasty exit from Major Crimes.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

Booth sat at his desk looking at his phone. Twice his mother called today. He lost count of how many times she's called since their confrontation. Dan's email on top of that has only made him even more frustrated with the situation.

What the hell does she want now? But didn't he want her to come around? Didn't he want an apology from her for all the pain she caused him over the years?

"No…no…she needs to know what it feels like to wait. I'm not ready yet."

Brennan walked in Booth's office and saw him muttering to himself. "Booth, what's wrong?"

Startled, he saw his wife looking at him with concern. "Nothing Bones."

"Booth, why don't you just return your mother's phone call?" The anthropologist sat down in front of her husband. "That way, you'll know for sure what she wants to say. I would guess that she wants to apologize for what happened last week."

"Maybe Bones, but…I'm not ready yet. I just can't…not now. Christmas will be here Monday and I'm still pissed that we couldn't take the kids to Philly to see Nana, Pops, and Jared."

"Booth…we'll go see them Tuesday. I was able to change our lodging reservation and it saved us some money. The traffic also won't be as crowded as most holiday travelers will be home by then."

"But Bones…"

"But Booth…we would be racing with a snowstorm coming in that may possibly close roads around here. We would have to rush our visit to the cemetery, and I think your grandparents and Jared deserve more than that, don't you think?"

Booth couldn't deny the logic in his wife's words. "Yeah…"

Brennan knew her husband wouldn't like what she had to say but as partner, it needed to be said. "Booth, I don't think you're upset because of our trip to Philadelphia is being delayed from the incoming inclement weather."

"What are you talking about, Bones?"

Brennan walked around to the desk and sat on the corner across from him. "You're upset because you don't know what your mother wants to say to you but you're scared to find out because you're afraid to be rejected again."

Not liking what his wife had to say, Booth got up. "Bones, you're usually more logical than that. Why the hell would I be afraid of what she has to say to me?"

"Because she's your mother, Booth."

"The same mother that abandoned me to a child abuser and cut me off for almost thirty years to raise another family." The agent grabbed his coat. "Now, are you ready to interrogate our suspect?"

Seeing she wouldn't be getting anywhere, Brennan acquiesced for the time being. "Yes, Booth, but this conversation is not finished."

"It is for me." Booth said before accompanying his wife out of his office.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

Aubrey focused on work to keep his mind occupied, but it kept wandering back to what Samir said earlier.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Samir."

"Bullshit, you don't. You stand there all innocent, but she wrote that letter to apologize for hurting you, hoping that someday you two could work out your problems so that you could be together again, and expressed how much she loved you. She said that you were different from any other guy she had met, that she saw a future with you and…that you got her in a way no one else ever had. She left her contact information for you to call her so you two could talk, but nothing. What kind of asshole does that?"

"What letter is Samir talking about?" Aubrey muttered to himself.

"If I were to guess, this one in my hand."

Startled from his musings, Aubrey looked up to see Karen in his office holding up an envelope. Immediately recognizing the handwriting on the envelope where 'Aubrey' was written, he looked up at Karen. "That's Jessica's handwriting and it has my name on it. Why do you have it, Karen? Did you bring it up from the mail room?"

The profiler's stomach was in knots, but she knew if she didn't do this now she would lose her nerve. "About a week before Jessica went to Scotland, we had plans to meet for dinner. I came here to meet you, but you were still in an interrogation. When I sat down, I saw this envelope on your desk."

Aubrey got a bad feeling in his stomach. "That was in May. Why do you have it?"

Karen continued to babble. "You were angry with her, but I knew one day you wouldn't be angry with her anymore. I convinced her to break up with you when you were going to LA, but then you stayed. When I read this letter while waiting for you, I couldn't take a chance on you leaving me…you were still hung up on her but we were getting closer…once you talked to her I knew that I would lose you…we were meant to be together, not you and Jessica…"

Karen's words began to sink in. "Wait…you told Jessica to break up with me? Why?"

"Because I loved you…Jessica came to me crying…she was upset with you over the whole LA thing and how you asked her to go with you. She was angry with you for your behavior at Cam's wedding and felt like she was being taken for granted, but she went to Dr. Brennan asking about a possible transfer to UCLA to be close to you. However, Dr. Brennan told her it would be impossible to do that because she would have to start over if she could even find an advisor for her topic. I saw my chance and I took it…"

"What did you tell my girlfriend?" Aubrey said, crossing his arms.

"I told her that you would resent her for making you stay because of how ambitious you were. I told her that if she loved you as much as she said she did, she should break up with you so you could go to LA. When she hesitated, I told her that if you turned down this promotion, FBI regulations stated you would probably not get another offer and that your career would stall."

Aubrey's uncertainly began to turn into quiet anger. "So, she broke up with me, saying that we had no future so I would go to LA instead of stay here in DC because you lied to her."

"Yes." Karen nodded. "But then Halko retired and you got his job. I knew it was just a matter of time before she tried to contact you. I ran into her at the diner the day after I found the letter and she talked about how she wanted to talk about what went wrong in your relationship. I told her how angry you were and that you hated her but Jessica wouldn't budge. She didn't want to go to Scotland because she wanted to work things out with you first, but you wouldn't take her calls and blew off her attempts to talk to you. I wasn't wrong…you were so furious with her still…I wanted to protect you…"

"I didn't need your protection, Karen." Aubrey said in a controlled and quiet voice. "You had no right to keep that from me."

Karen saw the quiet anger in Aubrey's eyes. "I had to because once you read it, I knew I would lose you to her. I figured she would meet some guy there and then you would realize that there was someone else waiting for you. I was surprised when she came back, but when I saw her with Samir at Founding Fathers…it was perfect. I said anything I could to convince you that she was over you while you plowed back shots…I told myself that you slept with me that night because you wanted me, but you were trashed because of how upset you were to see Jessica with Samir. I loved you Aubrey…I was better for you than Jessica…at least I thought I was…"

"What changed your mind, Karen?" Aubrey gritted. "You seemed to enjoy playing God with my life…so what brought about this burst of honesty?"

"The Masters case…first, that chef being so pissed that our vic dumped him to go back to his true love…but it was the ex-wife you know…" Karen took a shaky breath. "She was so angry…and almost…proud that she played with her ex-husband's life. She said that she loved him, but she didn't because she didn't care that he wasn't happy with her. That was me, Aubrey…and I didn't want to be as bitter and alone like she was, but I am because while I say I love you, you weren't happy with me. You were happy with Jessica…and she was happy with you…sure you two were at odds over your promotion and you both had commitment issues, but maybe after some time apart you two would have worked things out."

Karen took a step closer and forced herself to look at the agent whose eyes were cold. "It's like you said to Ms. Masters earlier. Love is about wanting that person happy, no matter what, not clinging to that person as if they're a possession. That's when I knew that if I really loved you, I had to be honest with you…and help you to become happy. I'm so sorry, Aubrey."

Karen held her hand up with the letter. "This is yours. I hope you and Jessica work things out. I'm sorry for any part that I played in that is making you two at odds. Goodbye, Aubrey."

Aubrey watched the profiler walk away. He wanted to yell at her, but the letter was burning his fingers. Opening the envelope, he pulled out the letter. He saw the Jeffersonian letterhead and realized she wrote it while at work. Feeling his knees shake, the agent sat down and began to read.

Dear Aubrey:

I write this to you because I've been trying to contact you since I found out that you stayed in DC. I have so much to say to you, but it's obvious how angry and hurt you are at me. First off, I'm so sorry for hurting you. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I didn't know what else to do. I was sad you took the promotion without even a second thought about us. Then you didn't talk to me about it but you did to everyone else, then you avoided me for two weeks while I was out in the cold. You shut me out and it hurt me deeply.

I felt like not only you were taking me for granted, but also that you weren't as serious about me as you said that night by the subway. I'm sorry for my reaction that night. I meant what I said in that it wasn't the wrong thing to say. Actually, it was a beautiful sentiment that I never dreamed I had needed until it was too late. While I had my own issues with commitment, what held me back that night was you.

I'm sure you're asking 'Me? How?'. Well, James, once we made love and got together, it was like you shut me out of certain things, especially your father. I tried to talk to you about him more than once, but you changed the subject, sometimes with sex. When you didn't tell me right away about your father coming back to town, it hurt so much. Why was it you could talk to Karen Delfs but not me? What we had was special, at least I thought it was, but it felt like sometimes you held a part of yourself back because you didn't trust me, and it hurt more than you could ever know. That is what held me back that night when you told me how you felt.

Getting up, Aubrey shut his office door and sat down back, tears welling in his eyes as he continued to read.

Catching the bouquet at Arastoo and Dr. Saroyan's wedding scared the hell out of me, but your reaction by getting smashed broke my heart. It seemed that you were even more afraid of commitment than I was. Then there was your stupid joke about a threesome with Karen, then you just asking me to move with you to California like it's nothing. It was everything, Aubrey. My life, my family, and my career were here. A doctorate program is not something you can just pick up and take everywhere. However, as hesitant as I was to move, I did go to Dr. B but she said there was no way to transfer to go with you then or in the near future.

I didn't know what to do. I left the lab and cried…before I knew it I was at Karen's office at Quantico. I told her what had happened with Dr. B and that I wasn't sure what to do. Karen told me that I had to put you first because you would never get another chance at a promotion like this and that you may resent me for making you turn it down. I know how much your career with the FBI meant to you and I didn't want to be selfish and keep you with me when you wanted the job so badly. Karen said that I break up with you because if I didn't, you would stay out of obligation and I couldn't do that to you. I loved you too much to do that, so I did the hardest thing I've ever done…I let you go.

Up until we talked in that interrogation room, I told myself that you would be all right with this…that it would be simple, but it wasn't. The look in your eyes…the hurt in your voice…it killed me, but then you got that damn phone call. That just reinforced that perhaps I was doing the right thing because Kovacs needed to be caught and your career was very important to you. You would be fine and I would move on.

Since it was the start of Spring Break, I went up to my family winery for the week because I didn't want to see you go. It wasn't until I returned to DC that I found out from Dr. B that you took another promotion to stay in DC. I wanted so badly to call you, but I didn't know what to say either and I was scared to hear what you had to say. You said you wanted to talk but you never called. However, I knew that for us to get closure, whether it be only to share memories of the nights we spent together and the fun we had, just be friends again, or to eventually find our way back together, I had to woman up and face what I had done.

When I first saw you at the Peters crime scene in April, I was nervous, but also happy. Then you wouldn't make eye contact with me, that was my first clue that I was wrong about you and that I had hurt you more than I knew. I realized right then that I had never stopped loving you. I tried to talk to you, but you didn't make it easy, which was your right and I'll never fault you for that. Angela suggested tricking you into meeting me but that wouldn't be right. I know you well enough to know how much you appreciate honesty and loathe people who play games and lie.

I saw Karen posting on your Facebook near the end of April and I wondered if she counseled me in good faith or if she had an ulterior motive in convincing me to break up with you. I also knew that I was making you unhappy the few times I saw you, but I wasn't sure what to do. Then Dr. B mentioned this summer program last week at the University of Edinburgh. It's a wonderful opportunity, but I don't want to leave you even though we're not speaking.

I want to fight for you, Aubrey…and us, but I'm not experienced in relationships and I don't know how. Some tell me to give you time, and others tell me to keep trying to connect with you. I just don't know what to do, but I had to give Dr. B an answer to Scotland, so with a heavy heart, I signed up for the summer semester.

I'll be back in late August, but maybe when you're not so mad, could you call me? You can email me, write a letter, text me (although the roaming charges on my phone will be atrocious…but it will be worth it.). I just want to hear your voice and know how you feel about me…about us...maybe a story or two about Skinner. I miss him, too.

I hurt you deeply, James and I can see that. However, I love you enough to let you go if you want. If you don't contact me the end of July, I'll accept that you want a clean break from me and I'll move on with my life. I will also wish you well with whomever you choose to love and hope they cherish you more than I did. Below is my address and phone number of the rooming house I'll be staying at by the university. I'll still have my cell phone and will be checking my emails daily.

You're an amazing man, James Aubrey and I don't think you realize that enough. Maybe someday we'll both stop hurting and figure out what we're meant to be with each other.

Love, Jessica.

Aubrey dropped the letter on his desk and a tear finally fell as he recalled everything...their break up, Karen's sudden need to be his friend afterwards, and Jessica's constant attempts to contact him. Suddenly, everything made sense as he now understood why she moved on with Samir…or tried to. She thought he didn't want anything to do with her anymore.

She was desperate to talk to and find a way to work things out, but his stupid ass pride and anger wouldn't let him return her phone calls. "Because I didn't want to crawl and risk being hurt again…" He muttered.

His eyes got large as the last 24 hours came back in a rush. It was now obvious that Jessica was being careful, but she was caught up in her emotions like he was last night. She thought they were starting to move forward and he didn't do anything to dissuade her. His shame then led to disgust as he thought about how he made love to her, told her he loved her, and then practically ditched her afterwards because he didn't like being vulnerable.

Samir was right…he was punishing her. He did it back in April, and he was doing it now. His feelings for her were still as strong as they were before and it terrified him. However, he now realized that he was more scared to be without her in his life…and that is what he was in danger of facing if he didn't fix it now. They had a long way to go, but it was his turn to take a step forward.

Grabbing his phone, he called her and got the voice mail. "Jessica…it's Aubrey…um…I…we need to talk…call me please? Maybe we can get together this weekend."

Aubrey hung up and waited five minutes before dialing another number. "Hey Hodgins, it's Aubrey. Is Jessica there?"

"No, she called back after lunch and told Dr. B something about meeting up with her landlord and took the rest of the day off. Did you call her cell?"

"Yeah and left a message. Thanks." Aubrey hung up the phone, grabbed his coat, and headed out the door.

Driving as quickly as he could, he arrived at Cho's Grocery and walked in. Seeing her landlord with a customer, he waited patiently until he was done. "Mr. Cho? Hi, do you remember me?"

"Yes…Agent Aubrey…what can I do for you?"

"Is Jessica here?" Aubrey asked while looking around impatiently. "The lab said she came here after work."

"No…didn't see her. Talked to her yesterday about pay no rent for next month for trouble because to fix damage will go into January. Was she supposed to come here?"

"I probably misunderstood. If you see her, will you ask her to call me? It's very important." After getting assurances from the landlord, Aubrey left frustrated as he tried calling her again but getting the voice mail. "Jess, please call me. I have to talk to you."

He called Andie, Daisy, Brennan, Angela, and anyone else he could think of to no avail. Driving out to Maryland, he headed out to the family house and knocked three times but no answer. Checking the garage, he didn't see her Jeep and was sad.

"I'll just wait for a while."

However, after thirty minutes, Aubrey tried calling again but got no answer. Crestfallen, he was quiet before slamming his fist into the wheel in anger. "Son of a bitch!"

Starting his vehicle, he turned around and drove the half mile long driveway to the main road and headed back to Washington DC. He was getting a taste of what he put her through when she tried to talk to him in April and it hurt like hell.

Hopefully when he finally found her it wasn't too late to make things right again.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

At 11:00, Jessica settled herself in the small apartment above her family's Bethesda wine tasting room. She knew she was a coward for hiding out but she didn't want to see or talk to anyone.

No…him.

A fresh tear fell and she wiped it away while remembering their fight earlier. She didn't mean to go ballistic on him but once she started to talk she couldn't stop as all the things that hurt her poured out. She didn't want to point fingers at what went wrong, but instead wanted them to work together so they could get past what happened. Unfortunately, Aubrey acted like he did nothing wrong and she couldn't just ignore it anymore.

He made love to her…and then ditched her like she was some cheap thrill, all because he got uncomfortable. Aubrey had never made her feel that way until this morning and it hurt deeply. Then getting the phone calls and text messages from him made it worse. She couldn't talk to him…he cut her heart and soul and she wasn't sure she could open herself up to that again. There would be no easy fix for what happened today.

Then her phone rang again with the Star Wars Imperial Theme. She reached for it before pulling her hand back. She just couldn't talk to him right now. When a voicemail was left, she played it.

"Jess…I…we need to talk…I'm such an ass…I…I know you're screening my calls and I know you're where I can't talk to you but please call me…"

Her only response was to cry herself to sleep.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*

Aubrey ended the call and threw the phone on the floor. Staring at the ceiling, he knew he fucked up. Yes, Karen kept the letter from him, but he was the one who ran away this time and then took his fear out on Jessica. Yes, she did screw up, but as she pointed out to him and it hurt to admit, he did, too. He wanted her to hurt like he had and if the look on her face today was any indicator, he pulled that off in spades.

Now, instead of victorious, he was alone. Worst of all, because of his pride and fear, he may have blown the chance he had to make up with his intern…and it was all his fault.