Soothing Cold
Chapter 11
BPOV
Phil was nice at first. I liked him, even. He was, maybe, a little young compared to my mom, but no one her age could probably keep up with her- and he did it with a smile.
He was very dotting when they first started dating, trying to woo the both of us, and it worked. I liked him. I approved.
And then she married him.
A month after that, he came into my room.
I tried to tell at first, but he was always there, distracting her with something or another and acting all innocent and normal.
Then he came back again. And again. And again- whispering words and lies and truths. Your mother is happy, why would you want to ruin it for her.
She wouldn't believe you.
It's our little secret.
What would she think of you- you've been letting it happen so long, why tell only now- did you like it? We all think it.
How dare you seduce me away from your mother. I'll have to punish you now.
If you tell, everyone will know what a slut you are.
He's staring at me. Not obviously, but his eyes keep drifting in my direction as conversation continues.
I clutch Charlie's arm tighter, scooting slightly more behind him- a common position I've found myself drifting to since mom and Phil's arrival.
He had jumped at first, immensely surprised by my closeness, before he relaxed. The concerned and suspicious look has not left his face, though, every time he looks over at me.
My eyes dart up, quickly. Phil is staring again, and I automatically lower them.
"Well, Bella and I can find something to do if you two want to go catch up. I know it's been a while since you've seen each other."
My consciousness tunes into the conversation sharply, and my heart pounds rapidly against my sternum.
"Oh, that would be great!" Rene says, grasping her husband's hand thankfully for his thoughtfulness. He smiles bashfully.
My fists tighten in my father's jacket. No. Please no.
Charlie glances over at me, that same worry etched in his brow, and his eyes dart over to Phil with the suspicion. His jaw clenches.
"Actually, let's let the girls catch up instead. I don't think they've been alone since you got here! Why don't you and I go out for some coffee?"
Phil frowns, but it quickly smooths into something pleasant. "That would be great," he says. "An even better idea than my own."
My fingers slacken in relief, and Charlie's eyes once again glance over at me, studying.
When they leave, I'm left alone with my mother for the first time since she's been here. She immediately starts talking about Phil.
"-and I'm so glad you two get along so well. He's been very concerned about you, you know- he keeps asking when you'll be home. It was his idea to fly out here for Christmas, too. He's so thoughtful like that. He's already talking about what you guys can do when you visit this summer-"
Nausea rolls in my stomach at the information. I'll never be rid of him, will I? He will always be there.
"Mom-" I say suddenly, feeling panicked. "I don't...- Phil, he...-" I stammer, breaking off. My mother looks back at me, eyes wide and earnest and happy. I've never seen her as happy as she is with Phil.
Your mother is happy, why would you want to ruin it for her?
She wouldn't believe you.
"Yes?" She prompts. "He's great, right?"
"Yeah," I stammer, the confession dying on my tongue. "Yeah, he's uh, he's great."
"I know," she squeezes my fingers tightly.
...
"So what do you think of Phil?" Dad asks me that night after they left.
I shift nervously at the stove, glancing over at the Chief of Police.
The question sounds casual, but he is scrutinizing me like he would when I was little, and Jake and I showed up at the house after dark and covered in dirt. Suspiciously.
"He always seems really great," I answer, stirring the spaghetti sauce. Charlie hums. "What do you think of him?" I ask in return.
"I don't like him." My eyes widen at his blunt confession. "He seems too nice. Something about him just bugs me."
"Maybe the fact that he married mom?" I joke nervously.
"Actually, it's the way you act around him, Bella." He tells me completely serious. I attempt to swallow the lump in my throat, but it seems good and stuck. "Something you want to tell me?"
He's much more observant than Rene. He is a cop. And I feel like I'm a suspect.
"No." I stir the noodles, wiping at the sweat that is suddenly on my forehead and trying to steady my shaking hands. I can feel an attack coming on, and I try to focus hard on just breathing.
"Bella, is he hurting you in any way?" He stands slowly from the table. He's not beating around the bush any, and he's giving me no room to deflect.
This is what I want, right? Someone to stop this? So why am I clamming up now? Why do I feel this overwhelming panic and desire to keep him, anyone, from knowing?
It's our little secret.
Could it be true that He's right?
Why tell only now- did you like it? We all think it.
I can't breathe.
This is your chance. Charlie could stop it. Just answer the question. Is he hurting you in any way?
Why do I still find myself madly shaking my head?
"No, no-"
"Bella." His voice is suddenly right behind me, and his hand lands gently on my shoulder.
I jump, gasping (nerves already frayed), into the boiling pot.
Pain sears on my arm where I burn myself, and I jerk away with a yelp, heart pounding and vision going in and out of focus.
"Shit, Bella, I'm so sor-"
"Don't touch me!" I scream, falling against cabinets, hands flying up to shield my head when I see hands reaching for me through my burry eyes.
I gulp at the air, trying to find relief in my suddenly tight chest, but none comes.
The ground under me sways, and I'm very glad that I'm already sitting, even if I am curled into a ball in the kitchen floor, rocking myself. My limbs are cold and numb, tingles running through them.
I feel ghosting hands against me even though I understand logically, now, that He is not even in the room.
My dad stares at me in sudden understanding and undisguised horror.
A/N: So, that is not at all what I was planning to happen, but it happened anyway. I wasn't originally planning on Charlie finding out, but he's a smart fella, and a cop, and this chapter just kind of... happened I guess.
So now he knows. I wonder what's going to happen. Really, I really do because I have no idea what's going to happen from here on this side of things. Because there is going to be something else that happens (not exactly bad). Oh well, I'll figure it out.
Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and please review.
~Silver~
