11

James was still standing there in open-mouthed awe when Sirius collided into him. Peter had hurled himself into Sirius' path, but bounced off of him in an effect somewhat akin to a fly colliding with the windshield of a seven-whatsit-seven. Sirius was roaring with primal rage as he tackled James to the ground, the latter's reflexes finally coming to his aid as he raised his forearms just in time to deflect a punch to the head.

'I'LL KILL YOU!' Sirius bellowed, his other hand wriggling between James' arms and clutching at his throat.

'Someone get him OFF me!' James hollered just as loudly.

Chaos erupted—no one seemed quite sure what to do. James knew a momentary feeling of being crushed as Remus leapt onto Sirius' back, and then the two rolled off of him. Sirius slammed his elbow back, sinking it straight into Remus's stomach. Remus wheezed, his grip slackening enough for Sirius to break free as his friend doubled over. James scrambled backwards over the couch as Sirius gave another primal roar and charged, running towards him much faster than he was retreating. He leapt clear over the sofa and caught James once more.

'Someone stun him!' Alice called.

'No! Don't hurt him!' James choked as Sirius tried to land a punch onto his face.

Peter leapt into the fray once more, jumping onto Sirius' back. His hands snaked around Sirius' neck and suddenly they were standing, Sirius rushing backwards into a wall in an attempt to crush Peter. Remus stuck his foot out from where he lay on the ground gasping for air. With an almighty crash, Sirius and Peter hit the ground.

'Peter, get back!' Lily shouted, her wand pointed at Sirius.

But James leapt between them. 'Don't hurt him, he's not himself—' he began.

Sirius collided with him in the middle of his back, causing all the air to leave James' body at once. He crashed into the ground at Lily's feet, and was faintly aware that Lily was trying to haul Sirius off of him.

'Sirius, stop, please—you'll kill him!' Lily pleaded.

'IF I'M LUCKY!' Sirius roared as he wrapped an arm around James' throat in a sleeper hold. 'I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU, MY LOVE!'

There was a sudden feeling of relief as Sirius was lifted off of James. He rolled onto his back to see Remus and Peter hauling him backwards along the floor. Displaying impressive—and unfortunate—dexterity, Sirius flipped completely backwards in their grasp, his foot slamming Remus in the chin. Peter released his grip in terror and stumbled back, tripping over a chair and crashing to the ground once more. Sirius turned, a determined look on his face as his eyes locked on James.

'Wait!' James said, holding his hand out. 'Just wait!'

'This is the only way,' Sirius said firmly. 'You are an obstacle in Lily's affection for me!'

'This is insane,' Lily moaned.

Sirius pointed. 'YOU SEE?' he shouted. 'She is overcome with emotion at your peril!'

James shook his head in exasperation, fighting off the mad urge to laugh at the words coming out of his best friend's mouth. 'Then how do you see that improving if you kill me, mate?' he asked incredulously. 'You think she'll just get over it?'

'In time,' Sirius said and he charged once more.

'Oh, bloody hell,' James muttered as he set himself. When Sirius was about a foot away, James dropped into a crouch. He felt Sirius' shins strike his back and then he promptly stood up, launching Sirius into the air. He yelled out in surprise as he landed heavily on the couch, crashing to the floor.

'Lily!' Remus gasped from the corner where he was regaining his feet, blood streaming from his mouth. 'Go get Madam Pomfrey!'

Lily looked confused. 'Madam Pomfrey? What good will she do?' she shouted as Sirius rushed past her, charging James once more.

Remus pointed at the eclaires just as Sirius collided with James. 'I think he's been poisoned!' he shouted.

'Sirius—this—isn't—you—' James grunted as he tried to fight off his friend.

'It—is—now—' Sirius growled back.

Peter scuttled along the ground and grabbed Sirius by the legs. Sirius swore angrily, but suddenly, Peter hugged his legs together. Sirius swayed for a moment, wind milling his arms frantically at the sudden loss of his center of gravity, and he crashed to the floor. James flung himself onto his back, Remus soon accompanying him so all three of them were lying atop their friend.

'GET OFF!' Sirius grunted.

'Not on your life,' James panted. 'Lily—be a dear, won't you? Fetch Madam Pomfrey?'

Sirius let loose a string of expletives as Lily took off through the portrait hole, leaving a scattered group of stunned Gryffindors in her wake. Many of them had opted not to leap into the fray. James, Peter and Remus exchanged a bewildered look as the Prewetts stepped through the open portrait hole

'Alright, Remus, ready for our next prank…?' Gideon began before taking in the sight before him. He blinked in confusion. 'What's going on?'

Fabian smirked. 'Someone call dog pile?' he asked.

'The answer to your question,' Remus said shortly with barely suppressed rage, 'is that I've had quite enough of pranks for now. Do it again, I'll give you detention.'

Madam Pomfrey had arrived shortly thereafter and incapacitated Sirius rather quickly with a harmless looking sleeping charm. Sirius had vehemently protested as she got nearer, shouting his affection for Lily louder and louder until he was finally silenced. James, Remus and Peter had decided to accompany him up to the hospital wing, while Lily had opted to remain behind.

'What do you think happened to him?' Peter asked worriedly as they sat around his bed while Madam Pomfrey tended to him with her wand.

She sighed. 'Seen a few cases of it before, but I'd guess it's Love Toxicity,' she said gravely.

'Love Toxicity?' James echoed.

'We read about that in Potions,' Remus said dully. 'It's what happens when one person takes too much of a Love Potion. Their body can't handle it and they start to act really erratically. It can result in…well, what we just saw.'

'And worse, my dear,' Madam Pomfrey said stiffly. 'Love Potions aren't to be taken lightly—overdosing on one can indeed happen. It's lucky that he started exhibiting symptoms so quickly and you were able to put a stop to it.'

James sighed. 'Yeah, lucky…that's us,' he muttered.

'I think that's about all that needed to be done,' Madam Pomfrey said at last. 'He should wake soon—the Potion is completely out of his system, but he'll have a fairly large headache. Make sure he drinks lots of water.'

'Yes ma'am,' the three boys said as she headed off for her office. Once the door was closed, James was on his feet.

'So—who did it?' he said.

Peter cleared his throat. 'I'll just go ahead and throw out the most likely suspect—Snape,' he said.

'Lily will enjoy that one,' Remus muttered.

'You disagree?' James asked somewhat aggressively.

Remus held up a hand. 'On the contrary, I agree he's the most likely suspect. However, unless we are able to prove it…'

'Who else is there?' Peter asked before James could express his displeasure at it.

Remus rubbed his chin. 'Regulus certainly has a bone to pick with Sirius. He knows about Sirius' fondness for desserts,' he said.

'Good point,' James said.

'What about Mary McDonald?' Remus asked.

Peter looked affronted. 'What about her?'

'Well,' Remus said slowly, 'she could have been trying to get to James, and she's been known to favour love potion before…'

Peter flushed. 'Not anymore. She has a different angle to get him,' he said.

'And that wouldn't explain why the Potion made Sirius go for Lily rather than Mary,' James said evenly. 'The Prewetts?'

'I don't think so,' Remus replied. 'They like a good prank, but I think that's overkill for them—they wouldn't do that to a friend,' he added.

James sighed. 'Well, it seems like Snape is the most likely suspect from where I sit,' he said with a sigh.

'I agree, Prongs,' came Sirius' voice from the bed, causing all of them to jump. They looked down at him and he did look decidedly awful—he had bags under his eyes, his skin was pale, and his lips were chapped. 'Water?' he gasped.

James instantly supplied him with a glass which Sirius downed in one go, nodding his thanks as he did so. 'So…did all of that actually happen?' he asked.

'Do you remember all of it?' Peter asked fretfully.

Sirius grimaced. 'I remember—ah—suddenly thinking that my world revolved around Lily,' he said with an apologetic look at James who grinned. 'And then trying to…well…snuff Prongs.'

'That about sums it up,' James said with a chuckle.

'I'm sorry,' Sirius said miserably.

James cuffed him on the shoulder. 'It was a love potion, Sirius. Not exactly your fault.'

'Yeah, it's Snivellus',' Sirius said angrily, colour flooding back to his cheeks at the thought. 'When I get a hold of him…'

Remus cleared his throat. 'Look, we really can't afford to run off half-cocked looking to assault Severus,' he said slowly.

'Who's assaulting? I'm not messing around with assaulting—I'm just going to tear his nipples off!' Sirius roared, causing James and Peter to burst out laughing.

Even Remus smiled. 'And you have my full sympathies,' he said quietly. 'But aren't we supposed to be trying to enforce a truce…?' he asked.

'Don't make this about me,' James said firmly. 'If it was Snape that crossed the line, something needs to be done about it.'

Sirius contemplated that. 'Then we make sure,' he said after a moment. 'We make sure it was him—Lily said you could defend yourself, right? Can't get more fair than that,' he said.

'I somehow doubt Severus will have just left a smoking wand lying around,' Remus said. 'How do you intend to catch him at it?'

Peter looked up. 'You make him confess,' he said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Right. Easy as pie, that is, Peter. Go on—go down to the dormitories and try to rustle that out of him, will you?' he said sarcastically.

Peter blushed again. 'I just mean—I think—well, I'm pretty sure that he wants to confess.'

'Are you taking the mickey?' James asked with a laugh.

'Think about it,' Peter said, now looking excited. 'He's just pulled a successful and humiliating prank on you lot. He's got to be dying for people to know it was him that did it. So we just have to get him to fess up to it—not to us, necessarily, but to someone.'

Remus raised his eyebrows. 'That's actually not bad, Peter,' he said.

Sirius looked similarly impressed. 'You magnificent little rat…that could actually work!'

'Solid one, Peter,' James added and Peter was positively beaming. 'Now the real question is how do we do it?'

Sirius chuckled. 'We're the Marauders—that's the easy part. The real question is how do we keep fair Lily from finding out?'

Remus sighed. 'Does this make me an accessory before the fact?' he asked.

'Are you a Marauder or a Prefect?' Sirius pressed.

'You know the answer to that,' Remus said, slightly defensively.

'Well then, that's settled,' James said.

Just then, the door to the hospital wing opened and Lily entered. James cast a sidelong glance at Sirius who had turned a deep, dark crimson at the sight of her. 'Visiting hours are over,' Sirius said. 'I'm just trying to find a suitable crease in the mattress to crawl into for the next hundred years.'

Lily laughed her pleasant tinkling laugh. 'But I thought your love for me was undying, Sirius? Does your fickle heart change its mind so fast?' she asked innocently, causing James, Remus and Peter to laugh.

'Stuff it,' Sirius said in an embarrassed voice.

Lily smiled. 'I just came by to check on you,' she said kindly. 'Do they have any idea what—er—came over you?' she asked.

'Love potion,' Sirius said.

'What were you taking love potion for?' Lily asked incredulously.

Sirius' jaw dropped. 'I didn't take it on purpose, you git!'

They all laughed, and it was Peter who said 'Someone spiked the eclaires he was eating with the potion.'

Lily's smile dropped. 'Who would do something like that?' she asked.

James and Sirius exchanged a glance. 'A few likely suspects come to mind,' James said in a neutral tone of voice. Lily's gaze flickered involuntarily to James, and their eyes met. In that moment, James knew exactly what she was thinking.

Like them, the first name that had popped into her head was Snape's.