Title: Ever Present Past

Time setting: seventeen years after the sixth season's final, more or less.

Chapter: 11/? - Fireflies

Main pairing: Alex-Cristina

Minor pairings: Alex-Ava/Rebecca

A/N: So, little time jump... it wasn't in my plans but I didn't have enough inspiration to finish the previous version of the chapter. There'll be flashbacks to explain everything.

Three months later

Cristina looked up from her phone again to glance at Sarah. Her daughter was staring out of the window, she had been for most of the afternoon. Cristina was more and more sure that the teenager was close to depression, but there were moments in which Sarah seemed like herself. When Alex came over for a while, Sarah smiled and looked as happy as she could be. She laughed at her brother's stupid joked and asked her sister about her boyfriend, that she had introduced to them as soon as Alex was out of the hospital. When she and Alex told Sarah they weren't disappointed in her, she relaxed, but they couldn't repeat it every single second of every day. She had to push herself to believe it.

It had been Sarah's decision to end her pregnancy, no pressure from her or Alex, but though they didn't show it they were relieved to hear her say she would have an abortion. Despite that, though, Cristina's heart stopped from a moment when she saw her unborn grandchild on the screen during the scan. She had squeezed Sarah's hand, without looking in her direction because she would have seen the tears, and waited for the procedure to be over.

Alex was still in the hospital that day, so Cristina drove there as fast as she could. She needed his support. Their seventeen-year-old daughter had just terminated her pregnancy and Cristina just couldn't bare to be alone.

Sarah turned around when she heard the front door open. She smiled at Zoe and at her father, but without the enthusiasm she would have had before meeting Austin. In Cristina's opinion, that boy had ruined her girl.

"Hello everyone. Where's Isaiah? We have ice-cream and movies. I had to pick an horror one because Zo's choices are honestly horrific."

Cristina held back a genuine laughter. Alex had been way more present than before and she was enjoying it.

"Sarah, call your brother, please. He's in his room. I guess we can have ice-cream for dinner, tonight."

"That was the plan." Alex smirked and kissed her cheek.

Cristina smiled, but deep inside she was confused. Alex hadn't been so sweet and nice to her in a very long time, and she wasn't used to it anymore.

"Sarey-bear, we decided ice-cream will be our dinner." Alex told his youngest daughter when she and Isaiah walked back in the room. "I got almost all the flavors they had, but if you want something else as well there's your favorite jelly. And peanut butter."

"Thanks." she started to make herself a sandwich, but Alex wanted to do it for her.

Zoe took some cups and spoons for the ice-cream. "Eric is going back to Canada for the summer. He's leaving in two weeks." she said.

"Are you going with him?" Isaiah asked her as she ended him a cup. "Add a little bit of pistachio."

"No way."

Zoe looked at Alex. "His parents actually asked me. But I imagined you wouldn't let me."

Cristina tried to find the best answer to give her daughter. "Maybe next year, sweetie. I think you're still too... young... to go on vacation with your boyfriend." she didn't want to use the word 'young', but she didn't even want to make up excuses for Zoe not to go. The truth was that she was young, and she didn't know Eric well enough to trust him completely.

"I understand. It's okay. Messer that he'll try not to stay too much."

"Mom and Dad just don't want you to get pregnant like Sarah did." Isaiah attempted to whisper in Zoe's ear.

"I heard that!" the other girl exclaimed, accompanied by Cristina's glare. "Anyway... Mom, Dad, I found this ad on facebook regarding a summer camp. It's really interesting. It's in the mountains and it lasts a month. It's for teenagers from fourteen to eighteen years of age."

"Well, you'll let me read tomorrow, okay?"

Sarah nodded. "What moves did you rent?"

It was good for Sarah to have her father home, it made her feel better and happy. She felt free to be at peace, while when he wasn't around she constantly wondered if he was angry and disappointed.

"Here, look. Pick one." Alex handed her the films.

Cristina glanced at it. "Wow, you really chose a lot."

"All the best ones. If we start now, we should be able to watch two or three of them."

"We better get started then."

x

After watching a few movies together and playing monopoli until almost one am, Cristina and Alex ordered their children to go to bed. Cristina stood up from the couch and went to pour herself a glass of water, ready to tell Alex goodnight. She was surprised when he followed her in the kitchen, and took a sip of her water when she placed the glass on the table.

She raised an eyebrow, and her ex-husband shrugged in response.

"It's late, you should go. Rebecca is probably going crazy that you're not home yet."

Alex nodded slightly, but he didn't move. He had his eyes fixed on Cristina.

He made a step forward, uncertain, and grabbed her hand before she could pull back.

Alex thought she was amazingly beautiful when she bit her lip. He observed her reaction when she felt his hot breath on her neck. Alex couldn't help but want to kiss her. Cristina was so gorgeous and sexy. He leaned in, ready to catch her lips tenderly, when she talked.

"Alex..." it was a mere whisper; it would be easy for him to ignore it. "Ava..."

"No..." he wanted her.

x

Alex was annoyed. Kirsten and Lachlan were screaming and running through the house, keeping him from watching the football match on TV in silence. Silence was his drug, since he was discharged from the hospital.

Rebecca was speaking on her phone, to Dani maybe, or her sister, or a friend. She had a very loud voice.

She hit the doorframe with her side, and the laundry basket she was holding fell on the floor. "Crap!" she yelled when it hit her bare feet.

Alex clenched his jaw when the twins started to scream even loudly and run and jump even more to let their mother know she had said a bad word.

Alex turned up the volume of the television.

"Alex, turn it down, I can't hear Dani at the phone! And can you give the twins something to eat, please?"

Rebecca's voice sounded so ugly.

"Daddy, can we jump on your back?" Kirsten tried to climb on him.

"Kirsten, Daddy's still a little sore, remember?" Rebecca's voice was heard again, as annoying as before.

Alex sighed and rubbed his temples. His headache was getting worse.

Lachlan yelped and then started crying when he accidentally made a vase fall with his truck.

"Alex!"

He stood up.

"I'm going out."

His blank statement wasn't heard in the noisy house.

x

Cristina sat up abruptly in her bed, the next morning. Alex was lying naked at her side, and when she saw him her heart started to thrum fast in her chest.

"Alex Karev, wake up, get up, get dressed and leave!" she hissed.

She didn't need any more confusion in her life.

x

Sarah touched her flat belly, pulling up her pajamas shirt. She blinked. It was like there had never been a life in there, but it had been. Without any doubt.

The pregnancy test had been the hardest part, because she didn't want to admit to be pregnant. She had waited for weeks before buying it, swimming in her misery.

Then, step after step, she had come to the conclusion that there was nothing she could do. So she had confirmed her suspect seeing that plus sign, and she had made her best to find the strength to talk to her parents. She expected them to be a little more angry than they were, but of course they hadn't be pleased. Cristina had yelled, Alex's heart had almost stopped. There had been incredulity and so many questions that had the end of the day Sarah only wanted to sleep.

Zoe had been the first one to ask what she wanted to do. her parents probably were too scared she would want to keep it. But Sarah didn't feel ready to be a mom, she didn't want to raise a child now. She didn't want memories of Austin. She was sure she wouldn't have been able to properly love her child, not as young and naïve as she felt at the moment.

She still thought the abortion was the better choice, and she would never regret it, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt...