Gwen's POV:
Blues, grays and purples of sorts. I'm in bliss.
My lungs were on fire and my fingers turned a dull grayish purplish as the winter approached, and they rain fell heavily, causing my frail and pasty white body to shudder and vigorously suck what was left of nicotine and tobacco out of what seemed to be my fourth cigarette.
I ruffled my faded teal hair and adjusted my sweater on my hands before lighting up another cylinder. Few cars seemed to be passing on our nearly empty street covered in leaves and rain drops seeing as it was the middle of the night and hear I was smoking. For the first time. An it felt good.
I wanted to break down and cry. I wanted to let myself fall apart and just spill raw- but I couldn't. My veins were flowing full of adrenaline and for once, the depression was actually masked by how good the pain of smoking felt.
I could just let loose and literally breathe, and nothing would phase me except the dull grey smoke escaping my chapped lips.
The winds blew stronger and soon rain begun to pour which made the temperature drop. I was cold on the outside, but the heat from my light was burning inside me. That and my lust for smoking I had realized I had been missing my entire life. I mean, yeah, people offered me smokes earlier on but I always said no. I just thought it would be weird, you know? Inhaling smoke on purpose? And not getting sick? I call bullshit.I had been outside for about an hour now and so I was worried my mother was going to wake up and find me with her treasuries on our pergola, so I decided to take a little walk in our neighborhood.I thought this would be the perfect time to take a little stroll. Rain, pack of smokes and no annoying children running around and nearly getting run over? Sign me up. Besides, my mum was used to this happening and even if she did wake up -though I doubt she would seeing as she probably had four packs before bed- she wouldn't mind.
I quickly rushed up to my bedroom trying not to make too much noise for mother to wake up as I grabbed a dark navy sweatshirt with band logos on it (me and Bridgette made it for warped two years back) and my sneakers. I rushed out the door and into our kitchen grabbing my phone from the table and then heading for the front door.
Flipping on my hoodie, I lit up another cigarette and plugged in my earphones only to blast some bat for lashes as I clumsily leaped my slender legs over our picket fence and made my way onto the sidewalk.
I passed a few familiar houses- some I remembered from my childhood and some I knew from the inhabitants- fiddling with the tool between my lips and trying to find my way to the music store Mal took me.I was surprised really. Me to be this bold and brave to show my face with a cigar hanging out of it in public? Huh...takes some balls. If my dad saw me like this, it would be back to therapy for me, and I was kinda doing well on the whole ignoring psychiatric ward-thing...at least I think I was, though honestly, I couldn't tell how insane I looked from others' point of view. i mean, what do you get from a girl my age with teal streaks and all black clothes?
I could faintly see what was ahead of me from the rain drops falling violently, but I could make out that it was closed. No lights or anything, so everyone was probably gone. Though I'm not surprised, only because it was now approaching 5:00am and I was still wandering around seeming mindless and idle yet my head was just boiling with query. Kinda like when you roast a potato and it looks crispy and toasted on the outside, but inside it's not even half done. Yeah...my head was a fucking potato.
My head was really just filled with the thought of wandering all the way down the road and onto Louver's Lake, or going back home, packing and leaving my mum- but the latter seemed to heartless. If I left, my mum would probably kill herself, and even though she was a complete junkie, I was no better and so in no position to just abandon her like that. And so I chose to continue to the lake instead, hoping I wouldn't pass out because my potato head was already beginning to spin and rock as my worn out shoes shuffled on concrete.
Mal's POV:
I woke up feeling ever so crappy as a rose as my chest was on fire from last nights palpitations. I couldn't sleep and had a 40 degree fever, so today, I was to be at school for only half day- which I was very glad about because afterward Gwen and I were supposed to go to the music store, where I would then offer her my help.
I got up off my bed -leaving it messy as always- and walked over to the greyish ivory-tiled bathroom.
Quickly, I splashed my face with water, brushed my teeth and then went to get dressed in my usual outfit- a teal t shirt and jeans.
Having washed up, I briefly got my back pack and headed out the door in attempt to make it out of the house without Mikes' parents noticing me. Not that I hated them, but I was just in no mood for social contact. I slyly rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen for a short while to get an apple which was supposed to be my breakfast before mother, stood before me out of nowhere causing me to groan and glare at her.
"Where do you think you're going?" she cocked an eyebrow with a smirk, folding her arms over her chest.
"The knock-off edition of hell- school," I scoffed, tossing my bag on the floor and biting into the red fruit which was surprisingly soft.
"Going to see your friend Gwen, aren't you?" she lightly chuckled heading to the sink and turning it on and starting on the dishes.
I quickly packed the half-eaten apple into my dirty backpack preparing to leave. I got up and jogged to the door.
"What do you think?" I called out as I stepped out the door.
My arms jittered as I coldly-much like the weather- glared at my neighbors' houses painted in plain reds, whites and even some light greens. It was kind of your typical cartoon scene neighborhood except it wasn't all Jim and dandy because they had me on the block. The angsty malevolently genius who somewhat managed to posses the body of a scrawny mentally challenged buffoon. So obviously these people were greatly blessed to be my neighbors, because I was exactly what this neighborhood needed- treasure.
School was to start in about an hour and a half and as I walked through the park which blossomed with orange-leafed autumn trees, I decided to sit down for a while just because I didn't really feel like getting into that building where peons roamed before I was even required to.
I tossed my ragged bag on the leaf-covered ground and hopped onto a concrete bench nearby. I reached into my backpack and got out one of my favorite books- the sweetness at the bottom of the pie. Yes, I know, I look like some unintelligent brute who can't read for shit, but surprisingly, my mind can retain knowledge at an average- if not, above- teenager level (probably above average).
I flipped through pages of the worn out book noticing how long I had owned it due to its poor stage. The pages had turned a brownish color similar to that of the leaves around me and their tips curled like dog ears. The cover had also faded from a vibrant green to a duller version of the color. I'd bought this book when we were about 12 and to this day it was one of my favorites. Well written, very detailed and quite the time killer. I picked it up thinking it would be a brain killer and would numb my mind from boredom, but even though I had read it more than thrice, every time seemed just as new and refreshing. Yes I knew that from first glance, someone would just expect me to read dark and gloomy poetry and cry in a corner with my fringe covering my eyes, but that wasn't exactly how I would describe myself.
But despite what others would say from first glance- and the odd looks I got from passers by- I sat in peace and read my book filled with content for about forty minutes until a crowd of teens flooded the nearby streets alerting me that it was time to go to that hell-hole. I quickly shoved the book in my bag and begun my walk on 'a different route from everyone else because I simply hated these people'.
The bell sounded from all the way inside the dull mustard colored building we were approaching. The trees around it had already lost almost all its leaves and the sign had mold brewing in its corners, displaying exactly, if not less, what highschool was like. I was around twenty minutes late because of my hate of socializing in mornings and now had to endure one of Mr. Mcchlaen's annoying rambles about how I spent too much time styling my hair in the mornings which out of all things, happened to be the only thing that embarrassed me. Not because I was some self-conscious loser, but only because that hooligan managed to get the whole class to laugh at me from one snap of his slithery sassy tongue. Heck, I'd even preferred when that big ogre chef made fun of me because at least he did that to everyone, unlike Chris who decided to pick on me most of the times. God help me I wont strangle him after graduation...
Quickly but yet amazingly -as always- I managed to dash through the peeling halls by the gym class and into my first period which of course had to his lesson- History.I briefly ruffled my mop of hair and put it up much like Mike's to avoid any sass about my it this morning. Keeping my gaze to the ground, I shuffled my feet into the room and towards my desk before I heard him clear his throat, and I could literally feel him staring daggers into my back. I didn't really bother saying good morning to him as it wasn't exactly one, but this didn't stop him from getting a kick out of my sour mood.
"Nice fringe, Mal. I can see today you did something new with it. Not the usual. But yet your crappy time management remains the same," he smirked smugly as the other students giggled in their seats. I would normally just give a snarky remark or death threat, but decided that today I would simply let his over-confidence boil out.
"Yeah,seems like everything is the same as always, except my hair of course. Must take a lot of time to notice these kinds of things, Chris" I smirked, taking my seat.
"And you must reaallly enjoy looking at me to take not of all this," I continued as laughter lightly bubbled in the air causing him to boil with anger which he sadly couldn't let erupt. poor him.
"Don't flatter yourself kid," he huffed as we all let the scene die out and the lesson commence much like the rest of the crappy and hectic school day, until it struck 1:00pm.
Until then the day was filled with the same things as usual. Annoying teenagers, smelly lunch packs and pit stains in gym. Except on thing was missing. One thing that could actually make all the pit stains and foul smells bearable, and of course, today she wasn't here. I had tried calling her in between periods and ask where the F she was,but no answer.
I wasn't exactly worried about Gwen or even scared that she might be hurt or anything. I was just curious as to why she skipped classes today. It wasn't like her, because she told me that any chance she'd got to be away from home, she'd take. So it wasn't like she was just feeling lazy or anything.
But soon my thoughts of curiosity turned to action when the coach advised me to add on the weights and thus marked the day of another crappy school day. But luckily, each got closer to graduation.
It was still early in the afternoon and I was just at the corner of Gwen's house, hesitantly tapping my foot to the sound of Kurt Cobain's voice in my ears, as I waited for her. I had texted her a while back that I was coming to her house, but she decided to be bitchy and ignore at, as I was left in the same spot for nearly twenty minutes. My instinct was to run into the house and grab her by her fake-ass weave to lead her out, but if her mother was home, I'd have to take a calmer approach. So I calmly walked over to her front door which seemed messy much like her bedroom. Her boots were carelessly sprawled all over the place and she had even flipped the mat with 'welcome' written on it over, revealing a not so nice...warding off message carved on the back.
Classic Caruther.
I roughly placed my hand on the knob and let myself into the house where my gloomy and sick-expected friend was residing, ready to look for answers as to why she left me alone today. Not that I cared much for any hunk of meat on this planet - Gwen included- but she was something...different. She could at least put up with me and had the same interests as me, but that wasn't really why I needed her. Those were just by-the-ways. I mostly needed her as my experiment, at least at the beginning I did. But now that I stood in her warm house scented with oak, I felt myself acknowledge that I was letting this hunk of meat take a place in my stone heart. Which wasn't exactly what I needed or wanted at the moment. And so my rage boiled once more and with it came another painfully attack. The pain this time was not very intense and paralyzing, but still kept gnawing in my chest causing me discomfort. I was in no mood to go to the music store now, but still felt entitled to know why Gwen excused herself from school today, despite my petty obsession with this surprisingly beautiful girl causing me literal chest pains and near death.
I stiffly walked into the dark amber colored wide space known as a living room dining room and kitchen. It was simply separated in sections which you could clearly see were meant to divide the rooms , but still remaining with no doors. Merely a counter in the kitchen which it shared with the mid hallway leading to the staircase. The house itself was surprisingly way more beautiful than it was a few days back- probably because Gwen's mother had a lot of time to redecorate- but yet, it still had that gloomy abandoned feeling flowing through it. All this despite all the beauty and the very captivating canvas hung in their living room. It wasn't something I would stupidly waste my time awing at and questioning "what does it mean?", but it definitely was gorgeous. Gwen had spoken to me about it and how her mother painted it and all the other stupid mindless trash I stupidly listened to, so I was quite familiar with it.
I tried to listen for Gwen's voice screeching at her mother and waling, but to my surprise, only muffled guitar riffs and light drumming could be heard coming from upstairs. She was probably in her bedroom.
I climbed the stairs with curiosity and made my way towards the door before stopping half way-
"Is that tobacco?" I thought out loud, sniffing the air in surprise.I tried to ignore it and made nothing out of it as the smell was very light and could be from the neighbors. Continuing to the door, I pushed it open and revealed my teal-headed friend passed out on her bed as a very loud and aggressive song came on from her iPod which was on her desk.
"Well, you don't look too good," I joked with a smirk as I approached Gwen's bed which was covered in blankets and pillows.
"Thanks Mal. That's just what I needed to hear right now," she replied grumpily as she sat up and rubbed her sore-looking head.
"How've you been?" I asked as I cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead lightly, in a jokingly friendly way, ignoring my very recent angry and kill-thirsty mood.
"Been better, that's for sure," she smiled as she gestured for me to throw her a pillow and I did. She quickly fluffed it and put it up against her headboard to lie on.
Here you guys go! An update! I must admit, I loved this chapter so much and am very proud of it so I hoped you guys enjoyed.
Please feel free to review, favorite, follow and all that.
Hope you guys have a good week..
Also, I'm in 4 month vacc for now, and I already have the following chapters summarised and all so, don't be surprised if you get an early update...butt no promises. :)
Love you guys,
Li
