Note: This one references events in SW3: A Robot's Life, which can be found on this site through my profile.
Meet the New Class – Student Number 10 – Karakuri Chachamaru
"Hakase, I have come for my checkup."
Hakase looked up at her and blinked, as if she had forgotten that she had been the one to schedule the checkup in the first place. "Ah, Chachamaru! Sorry, I'll have some space cleared up in just a sec," she said as she swept a bunch of photos off the examination table into a box, which she put on a handy counter, itself already cluttered with tools and bits and pieces of the components that made up the advanced robotic bodies Hakase specialized in creating. Chachamaru assisted her by removing several stacks of paper and a metal box with hair of a disturbingly familiar shade of green poking out from under the lid.
Hakase puttered around for a moment, looking for an instrument that ended up being in one of the pockets of her lab coat. "Ah, sorry about the mess, Chachamaru. I found a box of pictures the lab techs took when Chao and I were working on your first real body. Oh wow, do you remember how awkward it was? You only had eighteen points of articulation! Pitiful, just pitiful!" she said, laughing in the happy manner of someone recounting amusing childhood adventures.
Chachamaru felt a bit miffed, but decided to focus on the present. "Hakase, the checkup...?"
"Okay, okay, I got it Miss Impatient~" Hakase replied as she began inspecting Chachamaru's wireless communications equipment.
Chachamaru couldn't help but notice the older models on their rolling holding racks stationed against the far wall. There were almost a dozen previous models of her body there, along with seven of her sister Rally's previous models. Hakase paused in her inspection and cleaning for a moment and caught Chachamaru's gaze. She grinned and rubbed the back of her head. "Heh... Like I said, I was cleaning the place up and came upon that box of photos, and, well, you know me, right? It seemed like just five minutes later and the whole lab was filled with old reports and things. I even brought out some of your old bodies! Doesn't this bring back memories?" she said as she all but skipped over to one of the older models and lifted the arm, shaking it like it was waving at Chachamaru. "See? Look at this, you can even see the joints! This is so out of date! Hahaha!"
Chachamaru didn't feel much like laughing as she looked at the ancient model. She recalled that version quite well, thank you very much. It had been the one she was using when Negi first arrived...things had gotten hectic very quickly, and Hakase had thankfully upgraded her to a new model which, for the first time, featured a synthetic skin. She looked at that model, also present, and couldn't help but note how dry and stiff the artificial skin looked after four or five years in storage. There were also Hakase's infamous 'child' models, which Chachamaru had only used a few times under extreme duress.
"Aw, isn't this one so cute? You looked like a cute little kid, Chachamaru~" Hakase said, pinching one of the 'child' model's cheeks. She looked up slyly at Chachamaru. "Are you sure you don't want another one of these? Negi's the nurturing type, you know~"
"No thank you, Hakase," Chachamaru said firmly. She quite liked being tall enough to reach the top shelf, thank you very much! Even if Negi-sensei was the nurturing type... 'Stop that,' she told herself while deleting the mental image of her young version seated in Negi's lap that had appeared in concert with the thought. A moment later she retrieved the image from the recycle bin and saved it in her So-Secret-Not-Even-Hakase-Knows-About-It folder.
Chachamaru looked at the other models, noting thankfully how Hakase had thoughtfully covered up the 'naughty bits' on the only model that featured them. Strangely enough, certain other features on that particular model had been changed from her normal body shape when it was built; she didn't quite understand the whole thing, though she had a vague suspicion that Hakase was a closet pervert.
"The checkup, Hakase...?"
"Okay, okay...I get it, 'stop wasting time, Hakase, I'm a busy gynoid!' Right?"
Chachamaru just looked at her, and she grinned winningly.
"Right then! It's time for another body upgrade, Chachamaru! See, after our little incident with Tanaka Unit 1125, I've recovered the lost schematics for my solar power module. Basically, it allows you to continue functioning with energy collected from sunlight, with the ability to choose from over seventy power use profiles ranging from just enough to run communications equipment to more than enough to run a small town, if you wanted. Of course the power won't last long that way, but still..."
Chachamaru idly noted one of Hakase's assistants rolling in another model, this one covered with a sheet, while Hakase rattled on and on about power levels and efficiency and other things of that nature.
"Is this my new body?" Chachamaru asked, interrupting Hakase's mad ranting about how they would never understand her true genius until it was too late.
"Hm? Oh! Yes!" She gave Chachamaru a sly look. "Wanna see? It's incredibly advanced, if I do say so myself. I was able to redesign the solar unit I was talking about before to make it much more compact than the one in 1125, and guess what?" she said energetically, beaming at Chachamaru.
Chachamaru took the bait. "What?"
"I fixed the hip problem!" Hakase exclaimed. "Remember how the weight distribution always made your hip movement look unnatural in the newer models because of the lack of reinforcement plating in certain areas? I found a way to fix it! Now you'll be able to do exotic dancing like a pro!"
Chachamaru felt an inexplicable buildup of circulation fluid in the artificial skin of her face as she eyed the covered figure. She had a sneaking suspicion that Hakase had decided to include the 'naughty bits' on this model as well and thought briefly to herself, first law of robotics be damned, no one would ever find the body if she had.
"Okay, here...we...go!" Hakase said, whipping the sheet off the new model.
Chachamaru blinked once, twice, then her eyes widened. This new model...it looked real...! Like a real human woman! The headgear was drastically reduced in size and shaped to resemble a set of headphones, but otherwise...there were no seams, no indications of anything unnatural save for the lack of what Hakase constantly referred to as 'naughty bits'...! She turned to Hakase. "How...?"
"How did I do it? Well I'll tell you how! With the power of science!" she said, thrusting her finger up at the sky. "It took years of research to pull this off! All that time we kept upgrading your bodies, we were doing research for this, trying to find the best materials and processes to use to make it as realistic as possible. Of course, there are some drawbacks... If you use this particular model, for example, we won't be able to mount any expansion packs or weaponry or anything like that due to the ultra-realistic artificial skin and interior tissues; basically, you'll be reduced to what you can carry or strap on." She paused for a moment and adjusted her glasses so that the light reflected at Chachamaru. "Huhuhu, not that we'd just leave it at that of course~" she said as she dramatically whipped the sheet off of another, much wider rack another assistant had just pushed up. "Tada~" she said excitedly as she indicated the vast amounts of weaponry hanging from the new rack. "As you can see here, we designed all of this with this new body of yours in mind!"
Chachamaru turned back to the new body while Hakase rambled on about hand held railguns, Gauss rifles, and plasma guns.
"And then, with no further ado, we arrive at this!" Hakase said, whipping yet another sheet off of yet another amazing invention.
Chachamaru looked at the heavy backpack, the multiple barrels, and the sheer size of the thing, and gaped as her processors threatened to overload, her face grew hot, and her knees grew weak. "I...I think I am in love..."
Hakase beamed at her. "I know, right? This is the height of futuristic weapons technology! I call it..." Hakase paused here, apparently for dramatic effect. "...the Hakase Mk.3 Gatling Laser! Sweet, isn't it?"
Chachamaru stumbled over to the monstrosity and hefted the business portion of the gun. She swung it around to get a sense of its weight, and smiled pleasantly. "This is...beautiful..."
"Isn't it though?" Hakase said happily. "Of course Mk. 1 and Mk. 2 were terrible failures, but I'm sure this will do the job against anything you come up against, from True Dragons to High Vampires! It's a real beauty and probably won't even explode while you're using it!" She took the opportunity, while Chachamaru was distracted, to sidle up to her and grin slyly. "I also made a spare copy of this new body of yours with the naughty bits implemented, just in case you decide you want to...hey wait, don't point that at me! That's dangerous! Hey!"
Author's Notes: Yeah...this was meant to be serious, but that all sort of went away toward the end. Sorry about that. But yeah, Hakase will be Hakase, and Chachamaru is more human at this point than she ever managed to get in the manga; a little over five years has passed, after all, bringing with it all sorts of experiences and programming updates. Also, don't take it as SW3 canon that Chachamaru blew away Hakase with a gun I TOTALLY didn't steal from Fallout 3 and disguise with an unimaginative name change. Seriously.
Kamo's Negi Love Chart
Motherly - 8
Sisterly - 10
Friendship - 18
Crush - 10
Love - 18
H - 19
Kamo's Comments:"Heeeh, look at that, eh?" *nudge nudge* "Eeeeeeh?" *nudge nudge nudge*
