AN: This chapter is a little different, we start with Jackson's POV and then we flick to Meredith's POV, which takes place a few hours after Jackson's POV ends.
XX
Jackson's POV:
I was scrubbing in when it happened. Alone in my cubbyhole lay my phone on silent. My phone which would get over a dozen missed calls and text messages over the next hour or so. But it wouldn't be checked for another 10 hours until I scrubbed out. It was better that way I suppose, if I was out of surgery then I don't know what I would have said, but I do know what I would have done.
I found out from April who was rambling in a squeaking high pitched tone that I usually tuned out when I was stressed, and we were heading off to the hotel tomorrow, which meant boards were the day after, they were so close and I was nervous. I was only half listening when she rambled about how this would be disastrous, that they could fail their boards because something happened to them or because they should be studying instead.
After a few minutes of filling in my chart, I could finally make sense of what she was saying, by listening to her talk for a few seconds I got the just of our last 5 minutes of rather one sided conversation. Mere, Cristina and Alex were gone. By her tone she had no idea where they were, and she was obviously pissed that they didn't invite her, they were off to celebrate Cristina's divorce.
If I had been studying she would have found me or I would have answered my phone but sadly neither was the case.
"How long have they been gone?" I ask as I shut my file and stuff my pen in my pocket, avoiding eye contact so that she can't read me. Although in her current state I doubt she would be able to, she was freaking out, I could tell she was nervous. Nervous that she would fail, nervous that she would have to go back to the farm and nervous because that was who she was, a nervous wreck at times.
"A few hours I think." April answered her eyes skimming her chart as she nervously chews at the lid of her pen. When it comes to surgery she doesn't second guess herself in the moment she just does it, but when it comes to stuff like this she loses her shit over it, hyperventilating, the works. And right now I just can't deal with it.
"April, you will be fine." I said as I place my hands on her shoulders and shake her lightly. She gives me a small smile and her mouth opens to say something but her pager lights up and starts beeping. We both see it reads 911, dropping her file she gives me a weak smile which I return before heading off in the opposite direction, I need to check my phone.
Avoiding the lift I take the stairs, I can't deal with any more of Mark's excitement mixed with nerves right now, he's a brilliant teacher and friend, but he is getting far too invested in all me, in my exam and its making me nervous which is not helping at all. There is no one that I want to run into at the moment so I linger in doorways hiding from Arizona as she walks by chatting to an intern and Derek as he walks slowly down the hallway texting.
It's strange that I haven't seen much of Cristina lately, we have barely been alone, which is both good and bad. Part of me doesn't get why we are waiting for her divorce, she was practically divorced already when she decided to get divorced, but I get it. Neither of us wants this to start out as an affair. I don't want to be her rebound and I hope that I'm not.
Even though we have been friends for years and its only been a few weeks of been more I can't imagine going back to not been able to kiss her. Although that may be due to the underlying feelings I have had for her, pretty much since the moment we met, which I hid because she was with Owen and because she didn't feel the same way, or so I thought at least.
Reaching the residents lounge I push open the door in front of me, hoping that its empty, which luckily it is. Shutting the door behind me, I stand there, not quite knowing what to do for a moment. Right now I should still be fretting over Boards, this time in two days they will be over, but all I can think of is Cristina.
Within seconds I find myself standing in front of my cubbyhole with my phone in my hand. I have several missed calls but only two are from her, and it looks like she only left a voicemail for one of the messages. I dial quickly and hold my phone up to my ear as I lower myself onto the bench, not realising how tired I was until this moment.
"You have five new messages." The automated voice told me as I lay down on the bench, my eyes fixed to the ceiling and my feet still planted firmly on the floor.
"Darling I…" Mum began but she isn't the message I want to listen to right now, cutting her short I skip to the next message hoping that its Cristina, I don't want to have to skip through a bunch of voicemails to get to hers.
"Hey so you're in surgery right now and I didn't want to disturb you cause I'm not that guy." Cristina started, and I feel myself smiling at the sound of her voice. I hear other voices muffled in the background.
"No Mere I.." She said quickly before she pauses again before adding, "Oh shut up Alex!" I can't help but laugh when I hear him mutter something.
"My divorce is final which means I'm free to well screw who ever I want, which is obviously you. We're currently…" She must be in the car, I can hear the radio playing, the wind blowing through the open windows and the sound of traffic all around them.
"Mere may pity you right now but don't think I won't hit you Alex, anyway I'll see you some time tomorrow, don't wait up." I can practically hear Cristina glaring at Alex as she speaks.
The last thing I hear before the message ends is Alex's voice, "Ou.." he says before the message cuts him off. Not in the mood to listen to any more messages I hang up and check my text messages. I ignore all of the other ones, I am focussed on Cristina right now, the rest can wait. I only have one text message from her,
Call me x
She never really struck me as the type to send x's but I guess we can't know everything about everyone all the time.
I don't even hesitate before dialling, I shut my eyes as it rings, again and again and again. Doubt swirls around in my brain as it keeps ringing, I move my finger to hang up when the ringing stops.
"Hey." Cristina answered.
"Hey." I breathed, not knowing what else to say, well not anything that I should say. She may have sent me a single x but I wasn't going to willingly admit that I missed her, especially since we had barely been together for weeks and I certainly wasn't going to tell her that I missed her all that time too.
Mere's POV:
"I hope he's okay." Cristina said with a worried expression, clearly thinking about Alex. All through dinner he kept checking his phone and then right before the waiter came up to talk to us about dessert specials his phone lit up and he told us he had to leave. Neither Cristina or I complained when he said he'd pay for dinner and ordered us another bottle of wine before he left. He was obviously worried about Tommy, the interns baby and he had been all night.
Inviting him meant distracting him and it did for the first three grungy bars, where he kicked our asses at darts and Cristina bet him at pool four times in a row before she decided it would just be easier for him to give her the money instead of actually undergoing the formality of playing.
She was certainly feeling a lot cockier after her Jackson called just after she won the first game of pool at the second grungy bar we went to, and even Alex's teasing didn't make her lose, I think if anything they made her win. But when we came back to the hotel and had dinner, we finally all had time to think, which meant worrying about boards, me thinking about Zola, Cristina thinking about Jackson and Alex thinking about Tommy.
I nodded at Cristina, wondering where Alex was now. We moved from our table to the bar over an hour again at least, checking down at my watch I see the time, it's just past 10pm and I am already exhausted. This night out on the town was much better suited to us when we were interns or first years, now it was just tiring. After an 18 hour surgery and a shift before that, my feet were about to fall off even before I squeezed them into these heels and trudged up the street and up the stairs and around the building.
"I'm going to head to bed." I announced, downing my tequila shot as I grab my bag and stand up. Cristina groans beside me, it was my idea to take her out I know, and now I was bailing. But she looked pretty exhausted as well. "You coming?" I add as I step away from the bar.
"I'll have another drink. See you in the morning." Cristina replied, smiling at me before waving to the cute bartender and ordering another tequila shot. For a second I consider taking her phone away from her, but she seems more than capable, she will manage fine by herself, as long as she doesn't drunk dial Owen, that would be disastrous.
Instead of taking the stairs again, I turned left and headed towards the lift. The doors open ahead of me, for a moment I smile, perfect, don't even have to wait. But then I notice the lady standing in front of the lift moved, she hasn't even attempted to step inside. Then I see them, they wouldn't be more than twenty, and I wouldn't want to be stuck in a lift with them, I could already see more than I would like to see of the strangers. It was different at the hospital, when they were patients, but those people seemed perfectly active, I had no intention of watching them grope each other and suck each others face for the next 12 floors. I had my share of McDreamy elevator moments but that didn't mean I wanted to bear witness to theirs.
"Sure you don't want to catch that?" The woman in front of the lift asks me as the doors shut in front of her.
"No I'm good." I replied smiling at her, as I leant forward to press the button again. Instead of continuing the conversation, we both stand there in silence, obviously both exhausted and just wanting to get to bed. Neither of us are in the mood for idle chit chat, well at least I'm not.
Twenty minutes later, I had had a quick shower, my hair was sort of dry and I had talked to Derek. Collapsing on my bed, it took me some effort to jump underneath my covers as my head hit the pillow. The day after tomorrow I would have my results, this would all be over. But there was no room in my head to be nervous or worried or full of anticipation, all I felt was exhausted. I shut my eyes and seconds later I fall asleep.
...
Checking the clock I discover it is just before 6, Cristina should be awake, probably. Derek woke me up with a phone call less than an hour again, apparently Zola is sick now, which means that if I had stayed there last night I would probably have it too. I wish that I was there to look after her, she needs her Mum when she's sick, I always wanted my Mum when I was sick and she was never there. And now, neither am I.
After telling me not to swing by the house to pick up my stuff, crying erupted on his end of the line and he wished me goodbye. I would see him at the hospital when we got onto the bus, but I wouldn't be able to see Zola without risking getting sick. Any other time of the year it would be fine, but I have my boards, I can't miss my boards and I can't be sick while taking them, that would be disastrous.
Pulling my hair up into a ponytail, I chuck my towel into the bathroom before picking up my phone. I could just swing by her room, but I can't remember what number she is and I think people will be less than pleased if I wake them up only to discover I don't want them and leave.
"Morning." Cristina answered on the fourth ring, she mustn't have been near her phone.
"Zola's sick." I said immediately, a knot in my stomach forms, I should be home taking care of her, but I can't I have my boards tomorrow, I can't be home.
"That's terrible, did you catch it?" Cristina replied, genuinely worried about Zola, I can hear it in her voice. But she is also worried about me, this is the biggest exam of our medical careers, I can't be sick.
"Must have just missed it. Should I be ho… Cristina?" I paused for a moment when I heard another voice on the other end of the line.
"Yeah." Cristina answered, I can practically hear her smiling. What did she get up to after I left her at the bar last night? That may have not been my best decision, I should have stayed a bit longer, especially considering that the entire point of staying a night in the city was to cheer Alex up, which failed and get Cristina's mind off her divorce.
"What did you do?" I asked, already knowing the answer to my question. By her tone I can just tell, at the moment there is only one thing that could her sound so cheerful.
"It's not so much a question of what more of who." Cristina answered, I can hear the happiness in her voice, she had finally slept with him. I hesitated for a moment and in the silence I could hear her laugh and then the unmistaken sound of her kiss Jackson.
"Cristina!" I exclaimed, we came out here so she would be able to resist the urge to sleep with him. Of course she wouldn't do well if she was in his vicinity, but it would have taken him hours to drive out here.
"My divorce is final!" Cristina replied, sounding happy, just as she had been lately. Surgery makes her happy but she needs something in the in between bits, now she has Jackson, he is perfect for her.
"Cristina that is…" I begun but paused when I heard her laughing on the other end of the line. I then heard muffled voices which meant she must have covered the phone with her hand.
"I have to go, meet you in the lobby in half an hour, what? Really? An hour then." Cristina said breathlessly, she hangs up before I have time to say goodbye. I'm glad I didn't go to her room now, I was obviously interrupting something with a phone call, but no issue they were back to it now. So for the next hour I was on my own.
XX
AN: Not to worry the next chapter picks up from where Jackson calls Cristina when she is in the second grungy bar and then goes to where Mere leaves Cristina at the bar, so you won't miss any of the Crackson interaction :D
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