Chapter 10: Every man has an inner child
Hey folks! Today's the day my first real arc will start! I'm so excited about this! The idea is from "Gintokithebest" and I liked it so much I turned it into a multi-chapter arc. I really hope you'll enjoy it!
"Well… thank you for… these um… excellent performances…"
The speakerphone crackled and made a sharp squiiieck for a second there before the moderator cleared his throat and let his gaze wander through the audience. He was a well-dressed man in his forties with a navy blue suit and a red-blue checkered tie. A red napkin tugged into his breast pocket and dark blue lace shoes made him look like a show master. Behind him, three rather odd figures stood on the stage, waiting for the meager applause to stop.
The first figure was a little girl in the costume of Leifang from the fighting game Dead or Alive – naturally with two big balloons stuffed into her chest area. On top of that, she was wearing ridiculously huge glasses, which blurred her eyes. Next to her stood a tall man dressed up as Zoro from One Piece, in the version with the scar on his face and three wooden swords on his waist. And well… next to that… Shinpachi stood. Dressed as a clown. In a huge puffy white clown costume with red dots on it, wearing a fake red nose and a purple Afro.
"Dear ladies and gentlemen… that concludes the entertainment part for today. We'll play some music now and all of you may adjourn to the dance floor, the garden or the private chambers." With an easy smile, he gestured and got a bigger applause this time. When the band finally started to play the smooth jazz, most of the guests were standing up and left the room. Good mannered as always, the three Yorozuya left the stage as well and waited near the gift table reserved for the bride and groom.
Kagura was the first one to sigh. "Ahhh, finally over. What do you think, Gin-chan? You think they liked it?"
"Of coouuurse!" With a satisfied grin Zoro waved it off and crossed his arms. "We killed them!"
"Yeah… we killed them alright…" Shinpachi moaned and looked around. He hadn't been able to take a closer look at the wedding guests before, but now that he was out of the spotlight, he scrutinized them more closely.
All of them were very well dressed, the men wore expensive dark suits and the women elegant long silk dresses, some of which very revealing. But that wasn't the thing that got the young teenager nervous all of the sudden. At closer look, the men in this room looked awfully sleazy. One of them looked like Mizuki Akabayashi from the Yakuza group in Durarara!. Especially with the scar across his face and the sunglasses on his nose. Two others looked like Worick Arcangelo and Nicolas Brown from the manga Gangsta, all with eye patch and cigarettes and stuff. One of them even looked like Crocodile from One Piece and he was smoking cigars with a woman that looked awfully like Nico Robin in the Alabasta Arc.
"Um… Gin-san…" Shinpachi whispered lowly, a little bit of sweat breaking out on his forehead. "Don't you… don't you think these people look somehow… strange?"
"Strange?" The man with the three wooden swords tilted his head and looked around before he stared back at him. "No? Why?"
"I mean,…" the sweat got worse and he gulped. "…who are these people here anyway? …I mean… don't you think they look like… look like…"
"Like what?" Kagura was picking her teeth and didn't care at all. "Hungry? Because I am!"
"No… like… mafia bosses!" Shin's voice squeaked a little at that and he covered his mouth because he was afraid somebody might have heard.
"Ahhh, no way!" Gin waved it off and looked through the room for the guy who was supposed to pay them. "These people ain't no mafia bosses. I mean come on! They don't look like Yakuza at all. Look! This guy even has a dragon tattoo on his back. Which kind of Yakuza would have a tattoo like that?"
The teenage boy started shaking him now, his eyes almost popping out of their sockets. "All of them!"
"Would you relax?" The man with the green wig pushed him away and rolled his eyes. "Why would Yakuzas hire us anyway? Besides, there comes the man who booked us."
"Iieeek!" With one big jump, Shinpachi landed next to his mentor and hid behind his back.
The well-dressed man with a snake tattoo curling around his neck, a pair of dark sunglasses and a shaved head full of scars came towards them and chewed on a piece of gum. His voice was low and dangerous.
"So… nice show."
"Thanks!" Kagura grinned and kicked in the air demonstratively. "When you hire us, you get the best!"
"Well, whatever." He tilted his head and clicked his tongue. "As long as the izanami group had to suffer as much as we did last time when they ordered a marching band, I got what I wanted."
Shinpachi started shaking uncontrollably, but Gin didn't even seem to notice. He just grinned and scratched his head. "So, Mister… we did everything you told us to do~"
"Yeah, yeah. Here's your money." He threw a bundle of cash stuffed in an envelop at his chest and Kagura caught it, immediately counting the bills. She let out a happy yahooo when she realized it was as much as he had promised them. The man took a drag from his cigarette and puffed it into the air. "So listen up, pals. The buffet is open for about twenty more minutes. You can have some bites, but after that… you're gonna get your asses the hell out of here, ya hear me?"
"Roger that!" And as fast as lightning, Kagura sprinted off to the cakes and Gintoki was right behind her. "We got you, pal… oi Kagura! Leave something for me!"
"U…uhurm…" A nervous coughing and the clown in the puffy suit set himself in motion, too. His movements were like those of an unoiled robot as he tried to get the hell away from the grim looking man.
When he arrived at the buffet, the two Yorozuya were already ravaging everything. Kagura was drinking a whole bowl of soup and Gin-san was gulping down a big cake like there was no tomorrow. Some of the remaining guest stared at them and started whispering, but no one seemed to make any attempt to stop them. Only Shinpachi came very close and hammered on their backs, ushering them to leave already.
"Gin-san, Kagura-chan! Let's go! I don't like this here! We're gonna get in trouble! Come on!"
"No way! We've been waiting for this damn buffet the whole day!" Kagura hissed while stuffing onigiri in her mouth.
"Right!" Gin shushed and pushed him away. "We're gonna safe money this way, so eat Patsu-san! Oh and take some in your pockets while you're at it!"
"Gin-san!" he pleaded. "Really, we have to go! These are definitely mafia bosses, I tell you!"
"Ah, come on! Don't judge books by their covers!" Zoro was shoving éclairs down his pockets when he saw a big bowl of punch resting on the top shelf of the buffet. It was red with berries and fruits and ice cubes in it. There was a little label on it saying "Special drink ;)". Gin let out a delighted cry at that. "Oh my! Booze!"
"No fair! I wanna drink juice, too!"
"Hahaha, but that's for adults~" Gin took the bowl in both hands and his eyes began to shimmer.
"Gin-san, let's go! And don't drink that, that's way too much alcohol in there! You wanna get poisoned? You know you can't hold your liquor, so let's go!" Shinpachi dragged at him, a futile attempt because Gin kicked him away and started shouting.
"Silence! If I drink it now, I'm gonna be drunk for the next two days! You know how much money that saves me?"
"What kind of logic is that?!"
"Oh shut up!" The samurai rolled his eyes and set the bowl to his lips, chugging down the whole thing.
"Not fair! I wanna try it, too! I'm a woman now after all!" Kagura attacked him and tried stealing the bowl from out of his hands, but Gin just kept drinking and shoving her away before half of the punch was already gone. It was then, that Gin suddenly shivered, turned around and put the punch bowl pack onto the table. He looked sick, his face pale and his eyes swimming.
"Ugh…"
"See? I told you not to do that!" Panicky because all of the remaining guests were staring their way, Shinpachi pulled at him while Kagura was sneaking to the bowl to finish the rest. Before she could even take a sip, however, their mentor moaned, going down the next second.
As his unconscious body hit the ground, Shinpachi let out a shriek and Kagura let down the bowl, staring at him in shock. The teenager started jostling him, but his body was as lifeless as a doll.
"Gin-san? Gin-san, don't joke around! Come on, stand up!"
The man just twitched and looked as if he was about to puke, groaning softly. Kagura jumped to his side and started shaking him violently, making his skull bounce back and forth like these little dolls with the spinning heads. Her voice was a sharp cry sounding through the ballroom.
"Gin-chaaaaaan!"
It was quite a normal day. He was on patrol with Yamazaki and they were scouting the district for some evidence or suspicious looking people. It was afternoon and still hot even though it was the beginning of autumn. The Shinsengumi officers were patrolling through the Kabuki-chō district, which was awfully quiet today. For some reason, they hadn't spotted any Yakuza business going on and even the locals told them they hadn't seen any of them today. That was more than fishy. He wondered what was going on. Where were they for Pete's sake?
"Vice Chief." Yamazaki looked at him with the flicker of a smile. "Everything seems peaceful, doesn't it? Maybe they're all just on vacation?"
His chief grumbled and sent him a sharp glare. "Yakuza never go on vacation and neither do you. Something's definitely going on and we're gonna find out what."
"Ehe… ehehehe." He scratched his neck. "But you see… we've been searching all day and haven't found anything yet. Can't we just call it a day and get some dinner? I'm really hungry."
"If you're so hungry, I know a way to end your pain." Eyes shining like those of a demon, he turned to him and attempted to draw his sword.
"Hyaaa!" Folding his hands over his head and bowing over and over again, Yamazaki backed down. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Of course we're gonna keep searching! Please don't kill me, Vice Chief!"
"Tsk." Keeping his sword where it belonged, the dark haired man set himself in motion again, mumbling to his self. "Incompetent… why always me… commit seppuku…"
All of the sudden, his phone began to ring and he sighed. In a trained reflex, he picked it up and kept his eyes on his surroundings at the same time.
"Moshi mosh. Hijikata Toushirou speaking?"
"Um… Hijikata-san?"
"Yeah?" For a second, he paused because he couldn't recognize the voice.
"Oh… it's me… Shimura Shinpachi."
Oh right, he had given him his number last week. Didn't think he would call this soon, however. Hopefully, they weren't in jail and asking him to bail them out. "Hey, what's up?"
"Um… well, it's like that…" He sounded awfully quiet and troubled and that raised the policeman's suspicion even more. "…Gin-san's… Gin-san is…"
Oh God, what did he do now? Hijikata prepared himself for the worst and closed his eyes already, covering them with his other hand. "…What did he break this time?"
"No… he's… he's in hospital right now."
.
"What?" All of the sudden, his hand slid down and he stared into nothingness.
"Yes, we brought him here after he broke down. …I thought you might want to know."
A hard gulp clotted up his throat and he seriously didn't know how to react. A sour sensation was raging through his stomach and he felt his hand shaking for a second. His voice quaked as well, though almost unnoticeable. "Okay… where are you exactly?"
"The Great Edo Hospital." Shinpachi said with the low voice again and seemed awfully troubled. "Listen, Hijikata-san, we… um… something bad happened and…"
"Don't worry. I'm on my way." The cop replied with a hushed voice and lowered the phone.
"…Gin-san, he's… well…" But he couldn't finish because Hijikata had already hung up on him.
Without turning back, his face hid behind his bangs, the officer snarled at the Shinsengumi spy. "…Yamazaki… I'm entrusting this patrol to you, so you better finish your job, ya hear me? I have to go now."
"Eh, but Vice Chief?" The plain looking guy tilted his head, surprised. "Who was that? What's going on?"
He didn't answer, but instead starting running the next second, leaving a befuddled policeman behind him. Yamazaki pouted and hated that he never was included in anything. Damn it at all. But he could still sense, that something wasn't right. He just knew something bad had happened. Otherwise his second in command would have never stormed off like that. He wondered what it was. Hopefully nothing too serious.
He was in sweat and out of breath when he finally arrived at the right floor. Huffing and trying to calm down, he wandered down the hall in big strides. His head was spinning, overflowing with all the thoughts inside his head. He was still in a bit of a shock and could feel the fear trembling under his skin. Of course, he was trying to contain all of it. He wouldn't allow himself to lose his cool. Whatever had happened, he needed to be levelheaded. And the two needed his support. So while hurrying down the corridor, he took deep breaths and closed his eyes, telling himself over and over again that he needed to calm down.
Finally, he arrived at the room the receptionist had told him about. Halting there for a long second, breathing in and out, he eventually knocked. Voices slipped out from the inside and he heard steps. A moment later, the door opened and he could see Shinpachi's features. He seemed pretty down, but still relatively composed.
"Oh, Hijikata-san. You made it."
A small nod and he came in, looking around. It was a two-person room with one empty bed. The other one seemed to be taken because the curtains around it were drawn shut. They heard someone mumbling inside the curtain, but it was definitely not Gintoki's voice. Kagura sat on a chair next to the curtain and gave Hijikata a concerned look.
"…The doctor's inside and is examining him again." Shinpachi explained and looked down, avoiding any eye contact.
The Shinsengumi officer could feel his stomach turn and bit his lip, but ultimately kept calm. As composed as can be, he nodded and eyed the two teenagers instead. His voice was low and stable, giving away nothing of his inner turmoil. "…What's his condition?"
"He's not injured or in critical condition. But, well… he's…" Shinpachi took a deep breath. "…He's poisoned, kind of."
"Poisoned?" Hijikata turned around and stared at them. "How did that happen?"
"Well…" The glasses boy was clearly uncomfortable with all of this, but he kept on either way. "…I told you about the wedding, didn't I? Where we were supposed to perform? Well… turned out they… they um…."
"They what?" He demanded, dead serious.
The boy almost jumped and scratched his head, not being able to look the cop in the eye. "…It was a Yakuza wedding and… Gin drank a big bowl of punch and…"
"A… Yakuza wedding?" Hijikata almost chocked on that piece of information. Estranged, he stared at him and his eyes were almost starting to drop out.
"Ahhh, I'm sorry Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi raised his arms as in an attempt to protect himself. "We didn't know! We would've told you, I swear!"
Shaking his head in utter disbelief, the cop snapped at him. "And he was poisoned by them?"
"Well, it may not have been on purpose." Kagura shrugged, somewhere caught between being pissed and being huffy. "He's just a drunkard, that's all."
"Wha-… what?"
Shin scratched his cheek and took a few steps back, as if in an effort to take cover. "…Turned out… they were mafia bosses selling drugs mostly… and… they might have had a punch… being spiced up with some drugs…"
Hijikata's jaw dropped and he instinctively shook his head, not being able to take in any of this. "So that means… he has been…"
"Oh, will you shut up over there!" An annoyed, high-pitched voice sounded and all of the sudden, the curtains were torn to the side, revealing a young man with silver locks and a gameboy in his hand. He was hissing at them, shushing them away. "I can't even play the new pokémon in peace, can I?!"
The expression plastering Hijikata's face was one of complete denial. He was pale, his eyes darkened and the cigarette fell out of his mouth as he stared into the red eyes of his boyfriend. The doctor at his side just let out a heavy sigh and walked up to Shinpachi and Kagura. He was the middle-aged man with the goatee, the thick glasses and the scar across his left eye.
"Well, as I suspected, he's stoned up to his ass. Seems like the drug has already entered his system, so there's really nothing I can do right now."
"Oh well, thanks anyway…" Shinpachi tried with a smile. "Did you find out what kind of drug?"
"Oh, oh yes." The doctor crossed his arms and nodded to himself. "It's one of these new drugs on the market. You ever heard of the one, which causes people to rejuvenate?"
"…Yes?"
"Well, that's the one. And he had a lot of this drug, so basically, he's around ten years younger now."
"…What?!" Hijikata suddenly blurted out and couldn't believe a single word they said.
The doctor stared at him and clicked his tongue. "You don't believe me? Well well, officer. If you were doing your job, I wouldn't have to deal with these cases over and over again!"
"Wha- but I-!" The policeman started, though the doctor cut him off, waving him aside and turning to Shin and Kagura instead.
"Anyways. He basically is in the mental state of a teenager now because he lost ten years. In the process he also lost his memories, especially the ones of the recent decade. For the memories before that, I have no idea."
"He lost his memories? Again?" Kagura rolled her eyes and seemed pretty pissed. "Didn't we go through that in the Memory loss arc*?"
"So what? That was more than 300 episodes ago." The doctor shrugged. "As for how to recover them, you'll only have to do everything you did last time."
"Urgh! What a paaaain!" Kagura complained and stomped on the ground.
Shinpachi tried ignoring that and laughed uncomfortably. "Well, how long will the drug be working?"
"I dunno. Maybe a week. But the effect should wear off at some point. Anyways, he's fine and doesn't need any medical supervision. So as soon as you're ready, you may go."
"Sweet~" Gin chimed on the bed, but didn't move an inch. He seemed to have a good run in the game.
"Okay, doctor. Thanks for everything."
"You're welcome." When he walked out, he snarled at the befuddled policeman with a grumpy glare and started mumbling to himself. "…Incompetent police…"
.
Hijikata just couldn't shut his jaw, couldn't blink and couldn't deal with any of this. Just what? Just what the fuck?
"Come on, Gin-chan! Let's go hooome!" Kagura wined and tugged at his hospital yukata.
"Yeah, yeah, in a minute China girl. I'm gonna catch me some Lapras first~!"
"My name is Kagura, for God's sake!"
"Yeah, yeah whatever. We live together. Maaan, I don't wanna take care of a little girl!"
"Well, you have to!" She grumbled and wrinkled her nose. "Besides, I'm a woman now!"
"Yeah right, flat-chest."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" A brutal hit on the back of his head and Gin crushed onto the bed, stars flying around his head.
Shinpachi had to hold her back, wrapping his arms around hers to prevent her from wrecking him completely. "Kagura-chan! He just woke up! Don't trash him like this!"
"Grah!" She pushed him away and calmed down, crossing her arms. "Pain in the ass! What are we supposed to do now?"
Hijikata just shook his head and couldn't process any of this. Performing at a wedding of drug lords, Gintoki being intoxicated, being 10 years younger? There was no way this could be true! When he looked closely, however, he realized a few things he had overlooked before. For some reason, his hair was just a bit longer, falling over his ears. His skin also seemed smoother, firmer less hard. And… was it just his imagination or did he seem smaller? Less muscular? The cop gulped and felt a tremble crashing down on him. ….He couldn't… have gotten ten years younger physically, too… could he?
"I don't know." Shinpachi replied troubled and then tapped Gin's shoulder. "Um… Gin-san?"
"Whassup, dork?" The silver-haired teenager chuckled at his own joke and even his voice was different, higher and squeakier.
"Um… my name is Shinpachi…"
"Well, but I'm gonna call you dork, dork!" Celebrating his own attitude, this young man was definitely someone else.
Hijikata gasped and couldn't usher a single word. Was this Gintoki at all? Is that what he was like when he was a teenager? Or was this a completely different personality elicited by the drugs? A shiver ran down his spine.
"Um…" A small throbbing vain spurted on Shin's forehead, but he remained cool. "Listen… we're your friends. We work together as the Yorozuya. So we're going to help you get out of this situation, you hear me? You can count on us."
"Why? I feel fine. Couldn't be better actually!" The teenager looked at them now and had a cheeky, arrogant grin on his face. "But if you really wanna help me, how about we go partying? I wanna have some fun!"
"Well…" It was plain obvious that the Shimura boy was overwhelmed by this. He started stuttering a little. "…but you're drugged, so…"
"Ah, pish posh! I don't feel drugged at all!" He smiled and rolled his finger, wanting Shin to come closer. "You look like you could have some fun, too, dork! How about you and I go for a night on the town? I'll show you what it means to have fun!"
"But, um I…"
Gin dragged him down and began to whisper something into his ear. "Come on… you're still a virgin, right? Let's see some *****!"
"Wahhh!" The sixteen-year-old boy covered his flushed face in shame and shook his head violently. "Don't say that! I can't do that! I'm way too young for that! Ahhh!"
"Tsk, what a virgin." The silver head chuckled, way too amused by that. "High time then to have some se-"
"You're only seventeen, too! You're way too young for that stuff, too!" Shin protested, his head still crimson red.
"Oh, don't worry~! I have the feeling I'm pretty good at that stuff. Besides, I know how to get into these kind of clubs~"
Those were the memories he didn't lose?! Hijikata messaged his forehead and groaned softly. Wow, he couldn't even think this would be possible. But it seemed this guy had an even bigger sex drive now than he had before. Oh God, how the hell did he get himself in this kind of mess again? And why wasn't he in the least surprised that Gintoki of all people would be drugged in such a set up? But honestly… why did it have to be the very same drug he had been investigating this whole time?
"Besides, if we can't get in there because we're too young, let's just take this guy over there. He looks like he's old enough."
Um… what? Befuddled, Hijikata opened his eyes and realized Gin was indeed looking at him. It took another second until he understood what he meant. And his jaw dropped again.
"We… we can't." Shinpachi stressed and looked in his direction as well, seeking help. "That's not what we should do right now."
"Why?" A dissatisfied grunt escaped his throat.
"Well, for starters… you have… Hijikata-san is your…"
.
The door crashed open in an unbearably loud noise, followed by a second one coming from a young woman jumping at the bed. Her violet hair was flowing through the air, as she elegantly landed on Gin's lap and threw her arms around his chest. Her voice was an ear-scattering squeaking.
"Ahhh, Gin-san! I heard you're hurt! Ahhh! Don't worry, I'm here! I won't leave you alone with your pain! I'm gonna make it all better for you, I promise~!"
"Sa-Sa-chan-san!"
But she completely ignored the rest, raised her head and stared into the silver-heads eyes, snuggling up to him as close as possible. "What do you want? I'll do anything for you! Consider me your slave. Ahh~ punish me, Gin-san~"
"Woah!" The teenager's grin was almost blowing up his face. "Slave? Sweet~! But who's this hottie?"
"Ho-ho-h-hottie?!" A fountain of blood gushed out of her nose and her voice was breaking the sound barrier. "Ahhhh~, Gin-san! Come on, don't make me blush~. I'm your devoted Sa-chan, don't you remember?"
"Oh… yeah! Of course I remember!" He grinned and scrutinized her closely. "…A bit old, but… wow! Your rack is enormous!"
"Kyaaaahhh~! Gin-san! What's up with you today?!" The shinobi squealed and clearly enjoyed it, rubbing her head against his cheek. "You wanna touch them? You wanna touch them? I'll let you do anything with my body~."
Dumbfounded, the three others stared at her, faces pale and void of blood.
"Woah, really? Anything? You let me do anything to your body?!" Gin appeared delighted and a small stream of blood was running out of his nose. He raised his hands and made them into claws, groping the air as in a practice run. "You serious?!"
"Hyaaaah~!" Sarutobi was clearly out of her mind now, boiling over with excitement. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes, letting her hand slide down his belly. "Of course, my sweetheart! Please kiss me! I wanna kiss you so badly! Please~! I can't take it anymore, I waited so- oh, what's so hard down here?"
.
"That's it!" In one strong, swift movement, the policeman shoved the two away from each other. It was impossible to see his eyes behind the hair falling in his face, but every sane man would realize the frightening aura steaming off his body.
Teenage Gin, however, didn't seem to sense any danger at all. He just groaned at him and gave him a stink eye. "Oh man! Come on! What's your problem?!"
"Yeah, V-bangs, what's your problem?!" Sarutobi screamed at him, pissed off. "And don't touch me! Only Gin-san's allowed to touch my ****!"
"I wasn't even near that!" Hijikata snapped at her and the two remaining Yorozuya could clearly see he wasn't in the mood for any more jokes.
"You're just jealous!" The lady with the violet hair harrumphed and glared at him, arms crossed. "But you know what? Seems like he finally came to his senses! I told you he doesn't like ****! So get lost! He chose me! Not you!"
Gin looked mighty confused at that and his face contorted, but he didn't have the time to say anything.
"He did not! Can't you see he's not in his right mind? Are you so desperate, huh?" The cop grinded his teeth, trembling under all these emotions he didn't know where to put anymore. He couldn't contain them anymore. Not when something like this was about to happen.
"Not in his right mind? Pah, he finally woke up! I never accepted you two together! If anyone is suited to be his lover, it ought to be me!"
"Grrr, you…."
"Stop, stop!" Gin tore them apart with a swift waving of his hands. He was certainly irritated. "What's going on here? What are you two talking about?" With his forehead crunched, he stared at the black-haired man. "The fuck are you anyway?"
A short silence followed after that and every eye was glued to him, he knew. Hijikata couldn't refrain from blushing just a little bit. He raised his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat, closing his eyes. "…I'm… your boyfriend."
.
"HUH?!" Annoyed, the teenager furrowed his brows and flashed his teeth. "No way in hell."
That was the first dagger being rammed right into his heart.
But Gin wasn't done. He began examining him from head to toe and his disgusted expression didn't cease one bit. "You're OLD!"
The second one, right into his pride.
"And you don't even have boobs!" He gagged and retreated. "Why would I ever get together with someone like you?"
And that was the last one, shoving his ego down to the ground to cry in the puddle of his own tears. On the surface, one could only see Hijikata's unmoving, shocked, pale face and the gloom shrouding his head like a rain cloud.
"Well, I dunno who you are, but you're sure as hell not my boyfriend." Gin eventually concluded and turned to a gleefully grinning Sarutobi. When he stared at her breasts, he began chuckling as well. "That's more up my alley!"
"Kyaaaahhh, Gin-san~! You're so baaad!" The woman with the glasses chuckled and cuddled up to his chest, purring in ecstasy. "Don't worry, I'll take good care of you~. I'll take you home and we can go on a date and to a movie and who knows? Maybe you can't get your hands off me. Kyaaaahhh!"
"Oh, honey, I don't think I can~. Hrhrhrhr."
"Ahh Gin-saaaaan!" She jumped up again und pursed her lips to kiss him. "I can't wait any longer! Take me now! Take me!"
It was about that time, that Hijikata Toushirou chose to stop playing nice. He was damn pissed and he would certainly not let any of that happen. Snarling, he raised his voice and barked at the female ninja. The brooding conflict was about to boil over.
"Stop it! Can't you see he's drugged?! He's a teenager right now, for God's sake! He swallowed a shitload of these drugs, which make you younger! He lost is memories, damn it! You really wanna take advantage of that?!"
Staring at him from behind her red glasses, Sarutobi scoffed and pouted. "Look at you, you sore loser. But you know, your lies won't help you one bit."
"I'm not lying!" The policeman grunted, breathing heavily now.
"Hijikata-san is right, Sa-chan-san." Shinpachi tried a smile, only carefully approaching. "Gin-san's drugged right now. He isn't his usual self."
For a moment, the kunoichi paused and her gaze wandered through the room. She was still cuddling up to her lover, who was rolling his eyes, but she couldn't see that. When she looked up to his face, however, he grinned cockily and stroked through her hair. "Don't listen to them, honey. They don't know me like you do. You know, you're the only woman for me. You're the only one I want to be with."
The ninja with the lilac hair froze. For a few seconds, she couldn't move, appeared like time had stopped around her. Then, a small stream of blood was dropping out of her nose. And before anyone could even react, a whole waterfall was gushing out and she was screaming her lungs out in ecstasy, reaching ultrasound quality.
"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE FOR ME, TOO, GIN-SAN! I LOVE YOUU! KYAAAAAH!"
Just an instance later, a small click sound was heard and she was being pulled off the bed. The icy claw of a handcuff tied her hand and the cop was pulling her to get the second one on. "That's it, you're under arrest!"
"What?!" Indignantly, she tried wrestling herself from him, kicking him. "How dare you? Only Gin-san may put those on me! You freak, I'm not your slut! BDSM is for the people you love! Let me go!"
"Shut it!" With all his force, he was dragging her into the right position, but she struggled and always slipped out right under him. "He's 17 now, so he's underage! Meaning you are sexually harassing a minor and that's a public offense! You're under arrest!"
"What?! Are you crazy! Don't touch me! If you want to arrest me for molesting a minor, start with yourself! You can lock yourself in first! 'Cause you're his boyfriend, sicko!"
The colour from his face vanished again and he looked all pale. Oh shit! She had a point!
Helpless at that, he stopped moving for a moment. He didn't know what to do anymore. Clenching his fists and his teeth, he desperately searched for a way out of this situation. Seriously, come on! This couldn't happen, right? Just because he lost his memories and got a few years younger, he suddenly had no right to be his boyfriend anymore? Did that excuse him from cheating on him? Did he really have to accept that without any protest? His posture grew weaker and he held his breath. Shit. How the hell should he fix this?
He almost didn't realize that Sarutobi was roaming free again, cupping Gin's face and attempting to press her lips on his, for real this time. She was just a few inches away, shaking her butt in excitement, when all of the sudden, a war cry sounded. The next second, a roundhouse kick threw both Sa-chan and Gin into the wall, making it crumble under the impact and their heads spin from a light concussion.
Kagura still had her leg in the air, yelling at them with a fed up expression. "You know what? That's it! I've been watching this horror show for far too long! You both need a time-out!"
Befuddled, both Hijikata and Shinpachi stared at her, but she ignored them. Instead, she pointed at Sarutobi who was just about to regain consciousness. "I'll have none of this shit! I won't give Gin-san to you, Sa-chan! I will never accept a stalker like you as his lover! Mayora is my new father now and I don't wanna get used to a new lover yet! Take your dirty paws of him or else!"
The cop almost shed a tear at that. He was so moved, he couldn't even react. He wouldn't have expected so much support from her. And when Shinpachi stepped up next to Kagura and in front of him, he had to hold his breath. The teenage boy looked at the kunoichi with a sad smile and persuaded her.
"Sa-chan-san… please, understand the situation. We're all very worried about Gin-san. He's in the mental state of a teenager now and he lost all of his memories. The situation is bad as it is… so please don't make it even more complicated."
The shinobi held her whirling head and glared at them, clearly dizzy now. Her voice was low. "…Hmph…"
His smile was as understanding and forgiving as only he could manage. "We all know you really like Gin-san. But do you really want to take advantage of him in this kind of condition? You know he wouldn't usually act like this, right? These are not his real feelings, it's the drug. You really want that? To be with him while he's drugged?"
That certainly messed with her and she avoided their gazes, biting her lip and holding her arm in frustration.
"Sa-chan-san…"
"I know!" Hiding her face behind her ponytail, she jumped up and walked past them, stopping halfway between Shinpachi and Hijikata. Her hands were trembling a bit and her voice was damped. They could see she was clearly hurt. "That's not what I want. …I'm not that desperate."
A short silence engulfed them, before she continued.
"…I know he doesn't like me that way! And I know he's with someone else now… but… it was nice… believing for a second that it might be otherwise. That I still might have a chance…" She gulped and shook her head, pausing for just an instance before she raised her chin and stared right into Hijikata's eyes. He could see her face tearing up a little. "…I mean, I accepted my defeat. I know he made his choice. But you know… it would have been nice to hear it from you guys! Not picking it up by some rumors, like we're not even friends! You could have at least told me face-to-face. That would have been nice!"
Hijikata started at her, utterly speechless. He was completely out of place and didn't know how to answer, didn't know how to react. He never would have guessed that's the way she felt about that. To be honest, he didn't even know her well, but she had a point. They both had been in love with Gintoki for a long time. He felt guilty now. His mouth opened, but he still couldn't think of just one thing to reply.
"Sa-chan-san…" Shinpachi's voice sounded again, but she cut him off, started to walk again. "Don't bother. I won't interfere with you anymore."
When she stormed out, all three of them turned around to her and watched her leave. Uncomfortable silence filled the room again and made them unable to speak for a while. Especially Hijikata felt heavy under the weight of the mood. Really, he hadn't known. He wouldn't even have guessed. He felt like a jerk now. His head was full of thoughts and memories, connected dots, which hadn't been tied before. His eyelids lowered a bit and his gaze hit the ground. What was he supposed to do now?
"Um… not to worsen the mood any further, but…" Kagura's voice sounded and she looked around the room, drawing their gazes towards her. She scratched her head with a deadpan expression and shrugged. "…looks like Gin-chan made a bolt for it."
As they saw what she meant, it was safe to say they were freaking out.
"Where the hell is he?!"
Annotations:
*Memory loss arc = episode 31-32, Manga 50
