"On a long and lonesome highway, East of Omaha, You can listen to the engine, Moanin' out his one note song. You can think about the woman, Or the girl you knew the night before, But your thoughts will soon be wandering," an overly earnest kid warbled into a microphone.
Dean sighed and picked up his beer. This sucked. All of it. Well. The beer wasn't bad, but that was about the only thing that didn't completely suck. He was stuck in Hartford, Rachel was traumatized, her grandfather hated him, and the only bar within walking distance was holding its weekly karaoke night with people signing up for the privilege to butcher sappy songs.. He knew he should have brought the Impala. Screw flying. He couldn't believe he'd let his brother take his baby.
Rachel had him all screwed up. Twisted around and worried. He couldn't think like this. Bad enough before when it was just Sam he had to worry about. Now he had Rachel, too, and everything was…
Complicated.
After Rachel had finally stopped crying and calmed down, her damn grandfather had decided he wanted to check what was going on in her head. Again. Like, specifically during that two week period she'd been missing. And when Dean had objected, he'd been sent from the room.
Fuck 'em. He didn't need them anyway. Well. Rachel, he kind of needed. Well. Wanted. Liked. Loved, whatever. But the rest could jump off a cliff for all he cared.
"So. You ready for another one?" the waitress asked, giving him a big, shiny smile. Her hair fell over her shoulders, brushing the tops of her bare shoulders. She wore a necklace that dangled between the cleavage of her breasts, drawing his eyes.
He shrugged, raising his beer to his mouth, eyes on her necklace. "Sure. Keep 'em coming."
"Hard day?"
"You could say that." Dean snorted and drained the rest of his beer.
"You know, I get off work in an hour. If you want, we could go somewhere." She leaned on the table and batted her eyelashes at him. "I'm a good listener."
Once upon time. But all he said was, "Thanks, but I'm gonna pass. Just… get some fries, okay?"
She sighed and straightened up. "Yeah, sure. Be right up."
He watched her go, then closed his eyes with a sigh. Leaned his head against the wooden seat back. Banged a few times. "This is bullshit."
"You know what's bullshit is that my husband took off without telling anyone where he was going," Rachel said. "That's all kinds of bullshit. Budge over."
Dean opened his eyes in time to see Rachel, never one to do things like a normal person, crawl over him so she could sit next to the wall in the booth. Then she turned and draped her legs across Dean's.
"How'd you find me?" he asked, putting his hands on her legs. She was wearing jeans; he scratched his nails over the material gently.
"Only bar within walking distance. It wasn't that hard to figure out." Her hair was out of its braid, and she was twisting a lock of hair around her finger. "You didn't even leave a note."
"I don't leave notes."
"You could have said something. Or, like, texted me."
Dean looked at her, eyebrows raised. "Phones are for calling people, not e-mail."
"It's not e-mail. It's… okay, okay. Got it. No texting."
"Anyway, you found me. So what was the point?"
"I don't know. Between me disappearing and then forgetting everything, maybe it kind of scared when I couldn't find you." She tugged her hair again, eyes turned away from him.
Well. Crap.
"Wasn't thinking." He caressed her jaw, gently turning her head to look at him. "It was like I couldn't breathe in there. I was worried about you. You grandfather was being an ass and wouldn't let me in the room. I just needed air. And not in the girly, weird way you always do, where you go for a jog or whatever. I couldn't breathe."
Rachel was about to say something when the waitress came back with Dean's beer and fries.
"Here you go. Oh, hey Rachel."
"Tiffany. How you doing?"
Tiffany shrugged. "Eh. I'm still working here. Still going to school. So, you know. Okay. Can't complain."
"Are you still with that guy? Brad?"
"No, we broke up a few months ago. You with this guy?" She nodded at Dean.
"Yeah, this is my husband, Dean."
"Oh, wow. I didn't realize you got married. I didn't hear anything about it."
Rachel shook her head, blushing. "It was really fast. We sorta met and we were traveling. We just sort of… eloped, I guess."
"Wow. That's really… spontaneous for you. No offence. Just, you know. You were the one who always had everything planned out."
"Yeah, I know. But…" She trailed off and shrugged.
Tiffany gave her a knowing smile before turning her gaze to Dean. "And you never mentioned you had a wife."
He rolled his eyes and held up his left hand. "One, I'm wearing a ring. Two, I turned you down, so I didn't see the point."
"Yeah, but I thought it was me. Now I know it's because you're taken." She glanced a Rachel, blushing suddenly. "I'm sorry. I don't know…"
Rachel waved her hand. "Don't worry. I'm used to it. He's gorgeous, isn't he?" She beamed.
"He is. You hungry, Rach?"
"I'll just have a Coke."
"Coming right up." Tiffany gave them a bright smile and left.
Rachel leaned her head against the wall. "So, I can't remember anything, and you're there. One percent, completely supportive. I get my memory back, and you freak and take off. That seems kind of backwards."
"I guess." He picked up his beer. Rolled it in his hands a couple times before taking a drink. "I felt I couldn't leave you before. Not like that. But after, I just… I needed space."
"Oh. Do you still need it?" she asked, sounding concerned, not hurt. Understanding. "I can go. I just wanted to…"
He tightened his hold on her legs. "Don't go."
Rachel settled back down. Put her hand on top of Dean's. "I'm sorry."
"Don't." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I didn't know what to think. What to do. Two weeks, all I could do was yell at myself so being such an ass. I never should have let you this close. I put you in danger." He turned his hand under hers. Gripped it hard. "If anything had happened to you… If you'd be killed…"
"I wasn't."
"I know, but…"
"Dean." She squeezed his hand. "I wasn't. What happened was hard enough. Okay? Just… don't."
Dean nodded and opened his eyes. Looked at her. "I'm sorry I didn't protect you."
Her smile was crooked. Her eyes were watery and red. "I forgive you. I just want you to forgive yourself. And realize you can't protect me from everything."
"I wish I could."
"Same here." She fell silent as Tiffany came back with her Coke. Once the waitress was gone, she sighed. "So. Grandpa says that there's some kind of… traps set around the memories of the past two weeks. That he triggered one when we tried to get at it. He doesn't think there's any way to force the memory back. I just have to wait and… and hope."
"So you'll never remember."
"I think I will. I've been getting flashes on my own." She looked troubled. "There's just not a way to go in like through hypnosis or anything. Just time."
"I can live with that. I just wanted you to remember who you were. Be yourself again."
Rachel looked up at him with a watery smile. "I am. I think. But, um. Dean. I've remembered some things. I just don't know what I'm remembering. Not completely."
Shit, he so didn't want to hear this. This was way too much, and…
"I think I cheated on you."
"Oh, thank God," he breathed. His eyes fell shut and head banged against booth.
"What?" Rachel smacked him on the arm. "Dean, I'm serious. I keep having this images of me and this man who isn't you. And we're laughing and enjoying being together or something. And I think I cheated on you. And you're saying, 'thank God?'"
"I thought you were going to tell me, like, horrible things that happened to you. And I really don't think I can deal with hearing you talk about being hurt or whatever. Not right now. Not here." He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. "Rach. You'd never cheat on me."
"You don't know that." There were big tears in her eyes now. Her nose had turned red and her chin was trembling. "You don't know. What if… what if I met someone while I was hunting the troll? What if I was leaving you or something and the demon found me and possessed whoever I was with, then wiped my memory? What if this was all my fault?" A tear fell.
Dean wiped it away with his thumb. "Babe, I know you. You wouldn't cheat. Not on my or anyone. It's just not in you."
"I could cheat."
"How many men in this room, right now, besides me, would like to fuck you?"
Rachel blushed and looked away. Her hair fell over her face, veiling it. Then, she pushed back her hair and looked up. Scanned around the room, her cheeks turning darker. "Um, I don't know. That guy in the corner? And maybe the one standing by the karaoke machine."
Dean smiled and laughed gently. "There are, like, ten guys who have been checking out since you got here. You never notice, Rachel. You're this beautiful woman, and you don't notice. And, when someone makes their interest clear enough for you to get it, you question it. You get embarrassed."
"So?"
"So. We talked the morning you disappeared. You hadn't met anyone. And it'd take a lot more than meeting someone to get you to run away." He picked up her hand and kissed the palm. "I don't really have a problem learning that at some point during you being away, you enjoyed yourself. You weren't scared and hurting. I don't know if it's because you trusted whoever you were with, or the demon did some spell on you, or you were possessed, or what. But I don't care. All I care is you're back and you're okay." He kissed the inside of her wrist.
She kind of crumpled against him. Her forehead pressed against Dean's neck. Fingers played at his neckline. "I don't know what happened," she whispered. "I want to know what happened. If what happened to me was so horrible, why are the few flashes I've had comfortable? But, when I woke up, everything hurt and I was sore. It wasn't…" She stopped. Pressed her head harder against Dean.
"What do you want me to do?" he asked, holding her tight.
"I don't know." She sniffed. "I think… I think I want to go back to the cabin where they found me. I need to see again. Now. See if I remember anything. Or at least, I don't know. At least put it behind me or something."
Somehow, he'd figured she was going to say that. Been dreading it, the inevitable. Returning to the scene of the crime. It's what they did. How they met, really. Course, back then, it hadn't been so personal. Hadn't been where one of them had been hurt.
He lifted Rachel's head from his shoulder. Kissed her, tasting her, breathing her in. Because this was his girl, back in his arms. Feeling like she did before, acting like she did. Still kissing a little different, but he wasn't going to complain, because that noise she just made in the back of her throat? That was his Rachel.
"Sam and your brother were heading there. We could leave tonight and probably catch them."
Her eyes narrowed. "I thought you said that Sam was hunting."
Oh, right. "Yeah, he was hunting your brother. Nathan got it into his head to try and retrace you last few steps. We didn't think it was such a hot idea. One Adams had already disappeared, so Sam went after him."
"And he found him?"
"Yeah."
"And Nathan's okay?" Her voice cracked on the last word.
"Yeah, he's fine," Dean assured her, wiping away another tear.
"Then why hasn't he called me?"
That, he had no answer for. "We've been telling him to. Don't know why he's not. You can tear him a new one when catch up to him."
Rachel smiled wryly. "Yeah." She sighed. Pushed her hair back from her face. "You know, I don't have any clothes. The bastard took all my clothes. I haven't worn this since my first year of college."
Dean looked at the pink tank-top and jeans she was wearing. "Looks good on you."
She rolled her eyes. "At some point, we have to shop. Or I do. Whatever. I need clothes."
He leaned in and kissed her neck. "I disagree."
She shivered, eyes falling shut. She licked her lips and leaned closer to him. "If we're really going to leave, we should do it soon. I want some time alone with you."
His teeth grazed her ear. Mouth pressed kisses into her neck. "We'll need a car or something."
"We can rent and dump it at a mirror rental place there. I was thinking more we need a hotel."
He kissed her, sucking on her lower lip. "I like the way you think, woman," he said, although, inside, he had his doubts. What if this left her afraid of him? What if she needed something he couldn't give her? What if he wasn't able to be gentle or slow or misread her signals and ended up hurting her more? What if….
"Come on." Rachel kissed him, then climbed off his lap. "We've got brothers to catch up with and a mystery to bury."
He put his hands in hers and let himself be pulled up. Kissed her, then slung his arm around her waist. "Let's go."
