Story Time
"And so," said Ussop, his voice theatrically tense, dark shadows flickering over his face as the candle's flame twitched in suspense, " he picked up the golfclub and made his way up the stairs, each one creaking as his foot came to rest upon it..." his voice imitating the sound of creaky steps.
Chopper's eyes doubled in size each time Ussop creaked, clinging tightly to Robin's arm. The archaeologist gave Chopper a reassuring smile and pulled the tiny reindeer onto her lap, calming him slightly. Luffy was on the floor, eyes wide, hands making constant trips from his mouth to the bowl of popcorn he was 'sharing' with the others. Nami was trying, for all the world, to look as cynical as possible, and failing miserably. Sanji sat at the table, cigaret in hand, looking utterly board, smoke turning to transparent silver in the candle light. Zoro was... asleep. (Honestly who did not see that one coming?)
"Raising the golf club above his head, he went to open the door to the attic..." Ussop resumed, mimicking the motion of raising the club.
"No!" Squeaked Chopper, the size of his eyes now defying all logic.
"Yesss" hissed Ussop turning a shadowed gaze to the reindeer. "He opened the door..."
Everyone leaned closer, Zoro opened and eye.
"He stepped inside..."
Luffy stopped eating, mouth still open and uneaten bits of popcorn falling from his lips.
"And...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ussop screamed, clutching at his heart.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" was Chopper's returned scream as he flew off Robin's lap, now suspended from the ceiling by his antlers.
Nami screamed and grabbed Luffy around the chest, making the bowl fly out of his hands, knocking the candle over, total black now blanketing the kitchen. The lack of visibility only made matters worse. Luffy, still in Nami's iron grasp, was attempting to remove Chopper from the woodwork. Chopper was still screaming. Ussop tried to locate the candle, knocking over the kitchen table in the process. There was a loud crash as Luffy finally managed to free the doctor, but not before the momentum of his streatched arms bounced off the cabinets, sending their contents crashing to the ground. Chopper was still screaming.
"That's better." said Robin, opening the door and bathing the kitchen in late afternoon sunshine.
Ussop made a number of sputtering gasps from beneath the flipped table, a twitching arm just barely visible. Chopper moaned from beneath a pile of broken dishes, Luffy's extended arm now laying like a limp noodle on the floor. Nami's vice-grip had increased to the point that the strawhat captain was finding it difficult to breath. Sanji seemed to escaped the physical catastrophe, and was now sitting wide-eyed in the lap of a very contented looking swordsman.
Sanji blinked and shook his head slightly, chasing away the lingering feelings of confusion. Fully prepared to rip Ussop a new one for the state his kitchen was now in, the cook made to get up. Zoro, it seemed, was not as ready to move on to the next task.
"Oi," growled Sanji, attempting to pry himself from Zoro steel embrace, "teme, let go!"
"No." was the flat reply, as Zoro pulled the blonde farther back.
"Why the hell not!?"
Zoro smiled, bringing his mouth just inches away from the cooks ear, "'Cause he's still gotta finish the story... and since the first part scared you so much-"
"I was not scared!"
"-then maybe it would just be better if you stayed here." Zoro purred, tongue coasting briefly over the top of Sanji's ear.
"Fuck you."
"You've got it backwards." Zoro smiled, biting down on the juncture between Sanji's shoulder and neck.
Sanji hissed in surprise. "Bastard."
Zoro chuckled, pulling back to run his tongue along the reddened skin. Right arm circled the cook in a possessive ring, while buttons were freed by his left. Calloused fingers ghosted over freed skin, pulling the blonde back into another kiss, hand disappearing below-
"Oookay time to go!" Cried Ussop, gathering up his stunned crew mates and rushing out the door.
V: ... Yeah I know... It's times like this that I look at my plot bunnies and go: "WTF?"
